The Boy No One Knew
by Cerenbus.Snape.Malfoy
Summary: For many years, people have claimed to know Draco Malfoy. Claimed to know who he is and where he stands in life. But they're all lying, unintentionally of course. None of them actually know him. They pretend to care, but they don't even care enough to try to get to know him better. The real him. This is the story of Draco Malfoy, the boy no one knew. (wanders from cannon)
1. Year 1: Chapter 1

**AN: okay, this story is rated T for the following; pain, blood, fear, cutting, abuse and other things. As of right now, it isn't a slash story, but it may turn out to be one. Please review? i'd much appreciate it. :) Enjoy!**

**THE BOY NO ONE KNEW**

**Chapter one: If only you knew**

My name, is Malfoy. Draco, Malfoy. And before you say anything, I know, I'm not fond of my name either, but laugh at it and I'll pretend to be mad.

For many years, people have claimed to know me. Claimed to know my personality, who I am, and where I stand in life. But they're all lying when they say such, unintentionally of course. None of them actually _know _me. They pretend to care, to understand, but they don't even care enough to try to get to know me better. The _real _me.

You may know me as an arrogant, spoiled bully who feeds off of others eternal misfortune and torment, like my father. But I'm not like that, not really. No, I'm the kind of boy who stares longingly at the fields, wishing to lie on the fresh grass under night sky, dreaming, who wishes he could dance with the wind, or sit under the stars and count them.

But I can't do that. I'm not allowed. Ever since I was young –younger than I can remember- my father has been drilling into me the importance of standing out in a crowd. And though my, unique, features allow for that, I'd rather slink to the back and not be the center of attention.

I've been taught to hide emotion. And I can't say I'd rather be an emotional waterfall, but I don't want to be a stone-faced snob, either. I have been told, mainly by people kissing up to me, that I have rather divine looks, and an impeccably charming aura. But I know that's not true. People can't stand to be around me. Mainly because I'm rude to them.

I can't help it, it's not like I want to be. But it's also not like my father would allow me to _not _be. And yet, I still get in trouble for boasting. I always end up boasting to 'the wrong kind of people' as he puts it. 'Wasting it on _them' _as another way. But I can't help but notice that he does it too.

Another thing. I can't, for the life of me seem to do _anything _right when it comes to my father's expectations. He has told me, more than once, that I'm a disappointment. That I have no right to be a Malfoy. That I am a disgrace. That 'no son of mine' this, and 'no son of mine' that. And I just can't take it sometimes.

That, is often why I am in a bad mood. That, is why the only friends I have are afraid of me. And that, is why no one knows the real me.

**AN: Okay, this first chapter was just highlighting his true personality, the next chapter will actually have dialog in it. ;) Please review? That'd be great, thanks.**


	2. Year 1: Chapter 2

**Chapter two: Cerenbus**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I silently boarded the train to Hogwarts, riding first class, and slipping into the first seat I saw that wasn't taken, praying I wouldn't be noticed, or that all my 'friends' had already boarded and wouldn't be looking to sit with me. I had no such luck. A boy sat down next to me I did not recognize.

I mumbled a greeting and put my elbows on the table, putting my hands over my mouth and staring blindly out the window. It was to be my first year at Hogwarts school for magic. And I was terrified. After learning from my father that none other than Harry Potter himself would be coming to Hogwarts this year too, I had started thinking.

Potter was famous. He'd been famous since he was a mere baby. How could I compete with that? I swallowed, blinking as the train started moving. The boy next to me poked my ribs. I pulled my arms down and stared at him, my eyes narrowed. "Touch me again, I dare you." I hissed, drawing out my wand. Though I didn't know many spells, I could still be intimidating with it.

The boy put up his hands in a surrendered manner. "Just trying to be friendly." He mumbled, looking away and tucking his hands in his lap, scooting away from me slightly. I muttered something about a 'stupid first-year'. He looked at me sharply. "You look like a first-year yourself!" He defended.

"Oh really?" I didn't know what I was playing at; it was just arrogance that kept me going after that point. He nodded, quite sure. My face twitched, and I looked away. "You happen to be correct." I muttered crossly. I glanced at the boy, who now wore a smile. "What are you laughing at?" I demanded.

He shrugged. "Depends on what your name is." He told me, smirking.

My face twitched again. I stared at him for a moment. "Malfoy. Draco Malfoy." I stated confidently, sure he would back down when he heard my name. He simply nodded and put out his hand. I slapped it away. "Don't you know who I am?" I cried.

"Should I?" He was clearly amused by this entire conversation.

"Yes, yes you should!" I told him, then, choosing he was no longer worthy of the conversation, I ignored him and stared out the window at the fast moving scenery. He laughed, poking me again. "Would you _stop _that?" I cried, whipping to face him. He just shrugged.

"Thought you would want to know what _my _name is." He told me lamely.

"No, as a matter of fact, I don't." I grumbled, fixing my tie and returning my stare to the scenery flashing by.

"Your loss." I turned my eyes to stare at him without moving my head. I opened my mouth, then snapped it shut. Several moments of agonizing silence passed by.

"Out of curiosity, what is your bloody name anyway?" I asked finally, turning to him. He was turned to me, his elbow on the table and his cheek resting upon it, a stupid grin plastered on his face. I made a face that suggested…. disgust? Maybe. Bewilderment? More than I can say.

"Thirty seconds." Was all he said.

"Thirty Seconds? What kind of a bloody name is that?" I cried.

He laughed, shaking his head. "No, that's how long it took for you to ask." He told me. I stared at him, a deep frown forming on my face. "Whoa, mate. You might not want to wear that face too often." He widened his eyes and moved in his seat, shaking his head and staring at the table.

I furrowed my brow, thoroughly frustrated with this boy. I huffed, turning away from him again and muttering something along the lines of 'didn't want to know anyway.'

Another long period of silence, and I was curious again. "Oh for the love of- would you just tell me your bloody name?" I cried, turning to him, an irritated look claiming my face when I saw he had resumed the earlier position of, elbow on table, chin in hand, staring at me.

"I knew you'd come around." He told me with a smirk. He moved his hand forward. "The name's Cerenbus. Falin Cerenbus." He told me. I stared at him uncertainly, then looked down at his outstretched hand. I looked back up at him. He was staring at me, not smirking anymore, a more blank look than anything.

I hesitantly grasped his hand and found out the hard way how strong a grip he had and how weak my handshake was. He pumped my hand up and down vigorously, effective in nearly dislocating my shoulder in the process. I chuckled self-consciously, ripping my hand out of his firm grasp and clutching at it tenderly.

I looked back at Falin, studying him for the first time. His black hair was a little longer than mine, but allowed to hang loosely, nearly down to his shoulders, unlike my flaxen hair which was slicked back. His skin was pale, paler than my own if it were possible. Almost sickly looking, and his small, black eyes seemed to have no center and looked unfocused. I noticed for the first time that he reminded me of someone. Not someone I knew, someone I'd seen before, someone that was friends with my father.

I shrugged it off. "So, Draco-" he started.

"Don't call me that, we aren't on a first-name basis." I snapped.

He merely shrugged. "So, Malfoy. Scared?" He asked.

I stared at him for a moment. "Not at all." I forced a cocky smirk. He smiled back. I noticed how foreign his smile seemed, as though it wasn't often used. Almost… out of place. It didn't make sense! Here he was, being very annoying to me and teasing, and yet, here I was, thinking his smile seemed unused. How absurd.

He stared at me, his face a sort of smirk, but it was so small, it was hardly there at all. Thoroughly creeped out by the way he was staring at me, I looked away, back out at the landscape. "You're lying." I turned sharply at the quiet accusation.

"Am not!" I defended loudly, then lowered my voice when several stares were sent my way.

"What makes you speak such rubbish?" I asked.

The corner of his lips turned up in a knowing smile. "Because, all first-years are scared." He said confidently, as if he knew.

I made a face. "I thought you were a first-year too?" I cried. He looked away, his eyes searching the table for a moment.

"I am!" He said a little too quickly. "But I know a, uhh- my father! He's a professor at Hogwarts." He told me. I narrowed my eyes, more in confusion than suspicion. I knew he was lying. The thing was, I couldn't understand why.

"Okay." I said, pretending to be convinced. I caught a flicker of relief behind his soulless eyes that was gone in an instant, but his face remained the same, cold, hard stone.

I thought for a while, curiosity gnawing away at my mind and making me restless. I shifted in my seat and stared out the window once more.

"No, shh."

I turned sharply to stare at him when I heard him speak. He was staring ahead of him, his eyes slightly glazed, his head tilted to the side. "Shhh, not now." He hissed, his face scrunching up slightly. I leaned further away from him, eyes slightly wide. He was a lunatic!

"When are we getting off this bloody train?" I muttered, glancing around nervously, desperate to get away from him as soon as possible.

"Just about now." I heard the muffled response and turned to see Cerenbus staring across the aisle as the train pulled to a halt.

"Finally!" I huffed, shoving him to make him get out of my way faster. He responded to my impatient pushing with an unexpected shove that knocked me back into the window. He took his good old time standing and moving out of my way. I shoved him forcefully as soon as I'd stood. He was completely knocked over, falling to the floor of the aisle. A girl that had been standing there yelped and jumped out of the way of the flying boy.

"Don't shove me!" I hissed, pointing down at him with a scowl on my face as he stared up at me in confusion. He stood up, rubbing the back of his head which had caught on the corner of the table across from us. He pulled his hand forward and there was blood on it.

He looked back up at me. I was staring, trembling slightly at the blood on his hand. I hadn't meant to hurt him! "Sorry." He told me.

My scowl disappeared, once again replaced with a confused stare. "For what?" I asked.

"This." He slapped my face with his bloody hand.

It was no girl-slap either, it was strong, and struck as hard as a fist. I fell back on the seat, hitting my right elbow smartly on the hard wooden seatback and my other arm cracked hard against the tabletop. My rear-end didn't appreciate hitting the wooden bench too well either.

He stepped forward, reaching up and grabbed his bags, then turning his black gaze on me once again, he stared at me for a moment and I couldn't make out any emotions on his face, but his soulless gaze caused an involuntary shiver to pass down me as he walked away, disappearing into the crowd.

I sighed, pushing myself up and straightening my tie again and pulling my shirt down. I winced, my face was burning where he'd hit me. I grabbed my bags, annoyed, and pushed past a group of girls to get off the train.

…

"Merlin, Draco! What did you do to your face?" I tensed up at the cry of Blaise Zabini as he caught up to me on the way to the great hall. I had no idea where I was going, I was just following the crowd, much like many other first-years. I stopped in my tracks, staring at him.

"What do you mean?" I demanded. My face was still tingling and burning from where Cerenbus had hit me, but surely the red mark would be gone by then? He reached forward and touched my face. The gentle touch felt rather awkward, and I knew he felt it too, because he drew his hand back quickly and showed it to me. My eyes widened and my hand flew up to my face. I drew it back and stared at it. There was indeed blood there.

I had completely forgotten that Cerenbus hit me with his bloody hand, of course it left a mark! "It's a bloody handprint! _Literally _bloody!" He cried. "What happened?" He demanded.

"Shove off Blaise; I need to get to the lavatory and clean this off before a teacher sees me." I muttered, holding a hand up in front of the smear to semi-cover it.

"Come on, I think it's this way." He grabbed my arm and started leading me through the crowd, all going in the opposite direction as us. "Here." He made a sharp turn and went into a large room with many sinks in it. I rushed to a sink and stared at my reflection in the mirror.

My perfect skin was marred by the horrid red streak. I made a face in disgust, turning on the water and scrubbing furiously at the blood. "So…" Blaise began. My eyes shot to his reflection as he stood awkwardly behind me. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked. I stared at his reflection, thinking. Blaise and I had been friends for a long time, seeing as our fathers were also good friends.

Blaise was one of my only friends I ever told anything to. And yet, I was reluctant to tell him of my encounter with Cerenbus on the train. "I got in a fight on the train." I sighed, dabbing at my face to dry it. I inspected my skin carefully, making sure there was no traces of the blood left. It was gone, but there was a red mark still there, and it burned like hell.

"So that… wasn't your blood?" He asked. I stared at his reflection behind mine, then turned to face him, smiling.

"Of course not! I never lose a fight." I told him confidently, placing a hand on his shoulder, then dropping it and walking around him. He followed me.

"Who with?" he asked a little-too excitedly. I stared at him for a moment as we walked briskly down the empty hall.

"No one you know." I told him, increasing my pace as I heard a voice coming down the hall. I cursed under my breath, shoving into the crowd and pushing until I was near the front to stand by Crabbe and Goyle.

"Your triumphs will earn you points, any rule-breaking, and you will lose points." The witch was saying. I shifted slightly, feeling the skin where Cerenbus' blood had been begin to tingle and burn. I absent-mindedly drew a hand to it. I had missed several things she had said.

Everyone was laughing. What had I missed? "The sorting ceremony will begin, momentarily." With that, she turned and went in, leaving us standing on the steps outside.

I surveyed the other first years for a moment, then smirked, spotting a brown-haired boy with glasses."It's true then!" I spoke up, trying not to shrink when everyone's gaze turned to me. "What they're saying on the train." I smirked again. "Harry Potter, has come to Hogwarts." Several gasps and whispers could be heard. "This is Crabbe, and Goyle." I said carelessly, nodding in their direction. I didn't think to introduce Blaise, oh well.

"And I'm Malfoy." I smirked and left the banister I'd been leaning on to stand on the top step, looking directly down at him. "Draco, Malfoy." I smiled. I heard a snicker from right beside Potter. My smile vanished and I turned to the redheaded boy standing there. "Think my name is funny, do you? No need to ask _yours._" I looked him over.

"Red hair, and a hand-me-down robe? You must be a _Weasley." _I sneered. His gaze lingered on me, then dropped in shame. I looked back to Potter. "You'll soon find out that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter." I told him. "You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort." I stared pointedly at Weasley at that.

I looked back at Potter and extended my hand. "I can help you there." I told him, smiling.

He looked down at my hand, then back up at me. "I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks." He told me quietly. My smile faded, and I let my hand drop to my side. That was the first time _anyone _had rejected my friendship!

Footsteps could be heard behind me, and I was tapped on the shoulder twice. I turned to see the witch was back, and a stern look on her face. I turned back to glare at Potter before sliding out of the way. "We're ready for you now. Follow me." She told us, opening the doors to the great room without touching them.

The room we entered, was indeed a great room. It was huge, with four long tables along the lengths with students already seated. Only first-years, us, weren't seated.

She led us up to the front and stepped up onto the platform in front. "Can you wait along here please." She instructed, pointing. We spread out a bit in the front. "Now, before we begin, professor Dumbledore would like to say a few words." We all turned to look at the man with an impressively long white beard as he stood.

I snorted in amusement. That old bag of bones was allegedly a great wizard? Sure. "I have a few, start of term notices I wish to announce. The first-years, please note, that the dark forest is, strictly forbidden, to all students. Also our caretaker-" His haggard old voice was making me bored, so I zoned out again.

I felt a sharp poke to my ribs. I looked up, startled, when I realized I had been called. They were doing the sorting! I swallowed hard, feeling my lungs tighten and my breath hitch in my throat. What if I didn't get put in Slytherin? My father would kill me… I went up to the stool, too frightened to put on my cocky mask.

The hat had scarcely been placed on my head before it cried out; "Slytherin!" I smirked as I stepped out from under it, gliding down from the front as the thunderous applaud and cheers greeted me to the Slytherin house. I sat down at the table receiving random congratulations from people I knew, and others I didn't.

"Well done." One voice stood out among the others and I turned sharply to see the black eyes of Felin Cerenbus boring into me. I drew back slightly, as he was sitting rather closely on my left side. I swallowed hard. Cerenbus had been put in the Slytherin house! Oh great.

I gave him a fake smile and turned away, letting my true emotion take over my face –annoyance, with a hint of fear. I blinked it away and smiled as another random Slytherin patted me on the back and smiled.

I sighed, staring down at my plate as the other students went on congratulating each other. I let all sounds fade until all that could be heard was a distant, echoing murmur.

I had spotted Harry Potter at the Gryffindor table, smiling. I rolled my eyes. Figures he'd go to that house. After all the students had been sorted, I heard a tapping sound on a cup and everyone silenced. "Your attention please." The witch from earlier, professor McGonagall, as I had learned was her name, called.

Professor Dumbledore stood. "Let the feast, begin." And with the subtle movement of his hands, there was suddenly food before us.

My eyes lit up at the sight of it, and I eagerly took up my utensils. I was startled into dropping them again when suddenly, the room was filled with ghosts.

At the sight of them, I broke away, frightened. No one noticed me, they were too busy laughing, pointing at the ghosts, and of course, eating. But ever since the death of a friend, many years back, I had been frightened of death and every manner of the word.

I hid in the boys bathroom, sitting on the edge of the sinks and staring at my reflection. The red blemish on my face was still there, and right then, it was burning. I scratched at it, learning the hard way that that only makes it burn worse. "Ow, ow, ow!" I whimpered. Finally unable to take it any longer, I stuck my whole face under the faucet and turned it on, sighing with relief as the cold water splashed over the burn.

Why was it hurting so bad? It was like Cerenbus' blood was toxic; it was disturbing. I stared at my reflection. My face was red, and dripping wet. I clutched the sides of the sink so hard, my knuckles turned white. "Bloody hell." I hissed, dabbing gently at my face. I was startled out of my mind when a pale hand rested on my shoulder.

I spun around to face none other than Cerenbus himself. I put a hand to my heart, panting. "Don't do that." I told him, momentarily forgetting that I was scared to death of him.

"My apologies." He droned, smiling. My face blanked from its pained, frightened look to a growing sense of confusion. There was that feeling again. The feeling that his smile was foreign… and if so, to whom was it foreign? Myself? Or to him?

I shook myself out of it, putting a hand up to my still-burning cheek. "What the devil is in your blood?" I demanded. "Just look at my face, it's about to sear a hole right through it!" I cried. He blinked, staring at me with no emotion.

"Calm yourself, Malfoy. My blood is as harmful to you as a poisonous snake." He told me.

"Oh." I nodded, then blanked again. "Wait, poisonous… snake? You mean, non-poisonous… right?" I tried.

He gave me that same curious, half-smile at the upturn of the corner of his lips. "Right, what you said." He said curiously before turning and walking away. I Stared after him, then whimpered and put a hand to my cheek, turning back to the mirror to inspect my face.

**AN: Just to let you know, Felin Cerenbus is my character, not to be used in any other fanfic without my permission, clear? thanks. Please review! :)**


	3. Year 1: Chapter 3

**Chapter three: Startling Discovery**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

We were sitting in our potions class, when suddenly the doors burst open and professor Snape came in at a steady, no-nonsense pace."There will be no wand-waving, or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science or exact art that is potion-making, however for those select few who possess the predisposition." Snape's eyes lingered over me for a moment and I smirked.

"I can teach you, how to bewitch the mind, and snare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even, put a stopper, in death." I smiled again, fascinated.

"Then again, perhaps some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough, to not, pay, attention." He growled, moving over to stand in front of Potter's desk. "Mister Potter. Our… new… celebrity." He said slowly and quietly. "Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" He drilled the poor boy. I actually felt sorry for him. Granger, of course, immediately raised her hand. Potter turned to her, furrowing his brow, then turning back and shaking his head helplessly.

"You don't know?" Professor Snape sounded mockingly disappointed. "Well, let's… try again. Where, mister Potter, would you look if I asked you to find me a beazoar?" Potter looked at Granger, who looked back at him, her hand still desperately hanging in the air.

"I- don't know, sir." He murmured.

"And what is the difference between munkshood and wolfbane?" He asked one more time. I heard Grangers pitiful 'oh!' as if she so desperately wanted to prove how big of a know-it-all she really was.

"I don't know sir." Was his quiet reply.

Professor Snape stared at him, a disproving look on his face. "Pity. Well, it appears, fame, isn't everything, is it, Potter?" I smirked, looking over at him as he stared up at Snape.

…

Three weeks later in potions class, I sighed silently, staring up at professor Snape as he drawled on lamely about some kind of potion. I wasn't paying any mind, though I usually did. I just sat, staring at him as he demonstrated a potion on some poor, randomly picked student. It was three weeks into the school year, and I was already getting tired of it. It had been so exciting at first, but now it was nothing more than a drag. I was used to variety of things, and the constant of everything at this place - classes at specific times, _never _any deviations.

"Malfoy." I was startled out of my blank thoughts as a wand slapped down harshly on my closed textbook. I swallowed hard, staring down at it, then dragging my gaze up to meet that of professor Severus Snape. His cold, black eyes bored into my very soul, threatening to learn every secret, every memory. It frightened me.

And yet, emotionless as always was my mask, I put it on and forced the initial startle out of my eyes. "Yes?" My voice threatened to waver, but I merely clenched my fist under the desk, forcing my fingernails to dig into my skin, demanding myself to remain calm as I locked my silver gaze with his coal black eyes.

It suddenly hit me. Snape! It was Snape that Cerenbus reminded me of! I glanced over at Cerenbus, as he stared at his notebook, fiddling with it. I looked back up at Snape who was staring at me. Yes! I could see the resemblance. And it was such a resemblance too! Black hair, black, soulless eyes, similar features! How had I not seen it before? Hadn't, Cerenbus told me his father was a professor? Could that mean… Snape, was his father? But then, why wasn't his last name Snape as well?

Snape's eyes followed mine over to Cerenbus, and I could tell he knew what I was thinking, but he chose to not agree, nor disagree with me. "Why is it you are not taking notes?" Snape growled in his usual manner with a scowl that could make a marble statue crumble.

I swallowed again. "I don't need to." I played carefully, no longer able to look him in the eye, letting my gaze drop to awkwardly examine the collar of his robe.

I had just then noticed that the rest of the class had hushed, being as I was usually Snape's pet, as they called me behind my back, but weren't careful enough to make sure I didn't find out about the nickname. I caught a knowing, sympathetic look from Cerenbus, which made me scowl in defiance and rake my gaze back up to Snape's.

"Oh really?" Snape's voice dripped with apathetic interest. "Tell me then, what is the potion I just used on mister Weasley." He gestured lamely to the redheaded boy I 'loathed'. In reality, or per say, in my mind, I neither liked, nor disliked the boy. But the occupational requirements of being a Malfoy demanded that I only befriend _thee_ very best.

"Uh, mm…" I pursed my lips, thinking, trying to draw anything from my mind that I could remember from staring blindly ahead. I had remembered that after SNape had given him the potion, he had begun rattling on about nonsense, and the classroom had erupted in laughter as he had spoken sentences that made no sense. By that point, I was zoned out, and didn't remember anything afterwards. "Babbling beverage?" I guessed wildly. He stared at me for a moment, before his lips parted ever so slightly.

"What a fortunate guess." He said through his teeth. And, if it were possible for him to stare harder at me, he did. Before turning with a flick of his robe and walking back up to the front of the classroom. I let out a small sigh of relief, slumping down ever so slightly in my seat, then sitting straighter and forcing my mind to focus on what he was saying. I didn't want to get called out again. So embarrassing!

…

"Bloody devel!" I mumbled, shoving the insufferable Blaise away as he drilled me with teasing remarks about how I had gotten, 'special attention' from professor Snape. He said we argued so much lately, we could be an old married couple.

"Shove up yourself, you bloody idiot." I hissed, getting up in his face after he made a remark along the lines of, 'so, when's the wedding?'

That stopped him in his tracks, and I couldn't help but let a small smirk of triumph overcome my face as I continued on without him, leaving him, dumbfounded, and staring after me. It was true, I had never let his stupid remarks bother me before, but I was just in a bad mood today.

Could it be possible, that Cerenbus was actually Snape's son? The resemblance was uncanny, and yet, no one had mentioned it. And there was still the matter of last names. Cerenbus had said his father was a teacher at this school, and I was absolutely certain that no teacher by the name of Cerenbus worked there.

I needed to get to the bottom of this. "Going somewhere?" I let out a startled cry, jumping when a pale hand rested on my shoulder.

I held my chest and spun to face Cerenbus. "Bloody hell! Haven't you got anything better to do than scare the Lumos out of me!?" I cried, coming off as angry, but I was still startled from him sneaking up on me.

He stared at me, no known emotion on his face. I stared at him, bringing up a mental image of Snape and comparing the two. Yes, Cerenbus was a facsimile of Snape. "Snape's your father, isn't he?" I asked boldly. I smirked as I got my answer from him without his consent. He let his hand drop from my shoulder, his gaze flicked around. He raised a hand and scratched just behind his ear.

"He is! Isn't he?" I cried. He looked back up at me sharply and I snapped my mouth shut. Cerenbus looked around quickly, then took my arm and started dragging me through the hall. I was too startled and frightened to fight back or cry out for help.

Cerenbus dragged me into the lavatory, closing the door and waving his wand to lock it, then he turned and grabbed me, thrusting me hard against the wall, lifting me by grabbing my shirt. I dropped my books, staring down at him in fear, my heart quickening and my breathing going shallow.

I stared down at his black eyes as they narrowed and stared at me. "If you tell a soul, I swear, I will use every known poison on you to the point where it will become your blood!" He hissed. I began trembling, knowing he would fall back on his threat if he must. I nodded quickly, eyes wide. "Good." He set me down, his hard stare still boring into me. I swallowed hard, fixing my shirt, not taking my eyes off of him. He stared at me, and the silence stretched on. I swallowed repeatedly, looking past his head at the door. Oh how I longed to run for it! I knew he'd kill me if I did. "For good measure," He started, taking out his wand. I flinched, pressing myself against the wall.

"Relax, Malfoy." He muttered, waving the wand in my face. "Fidelius!" He said in a strong voice. I swallowed hard as the glow transferred into me. I felt a shiver go through my body. He glared at me, putting his wand back in his pocket.

"What the hell did you do to me?" I cried, ready to panic.

"I used a Fidelius charm, it hides a secret within someone. Now you are incapable of revealing the truth without my permission." He told me.

I swallowed hard, staring at him. Where had he learned such advanced magic? Duh! Snape! I nodded inwardly, still staring at him. "Well, can I go now?" I asked, forcing the tremble out of my voice. He stared at me for a moment longer before stepping aside and flicking his wand at the door.

"Alohomora." He said, and the door unlocked. I swallowed, bending down to pick up my books, flicking my gaze up to him as I did so, afraid to take my eyes off him for too long. I slowly went out, he was still standing there, his wand pointed at the door, staring at me. I turned to look at him after I left. He flicked his wand and the door slammed in my face.

I swallowed again, turning to look around. What time was it? I looked at my time piece. "Oh, wonderful, I'm late for class." I hissed, snapping it shut and pocketing it, then raced off to my next class.

**AN: For those of you thinking about complaining about how I jumped three weeks ahead, what do you expect me to do?! Go on a day-by-day chaptering system? This book would be thousands of chapters long! So, I had to skip ahead a bit, being as I'm planning on continuing this story on all the way through the eighth movie.**

**And for those of you wanting to complain about 'oh, Hufflepuff! Snape doesn't have a son in the movies! Waaa waa waa! Blah blah blah!' Suck it, it's MY story!**

**For those of you who are totally awesome, and love a story for its plot, not for how closely related it is to what it's based on, my highest regards. I hope you enjoyed, please review!**


	4. Year 1: Chapter 4

**Chapter four: Cold eyes**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"If only the fat lump had given this a squeeze, maybe he'd of remembered to fall on his fat ass." I swore, provoking laughter from the crowd surrounding. We were out in the Quidditch pitch, waiting for the flying instructor, Hooch to come back after taking Longbottom to the hospital wing. The bloody idiot had hurt himself, going out of control on his broom.

And now, I was in possession of his rememberal, which I had found laying on the ground. I felt it my personal prize, though I had yet to come up with a reason why.

"Give it here, Malfoy." I turned to see Potter glaring at me.

"No, I think I'll put this somewhere for Longbottom to find." I glared at him, tossing it up and catching it, then stepping on my broom and lifting up, all the while holding it out where he could see it. "How about on the roof?" I sneered as I flew past him.

"What's the matter, Potter? Bit beyond your reach?" I taunted once I was up in the air. He glared on me, then started getting on his broom. One of his friends stepped up and talked to him, but I was too far away to hear. Without a word, he got on his broom and hovered –somewhat unsteadily- up to me.

I grinned, tossing it up and down in my palm. "Give it here, Malfoy or I'll knock you off your broom!" He threatened.

"Is that so?" I asked, then pretended to begin to throw it to him. He came forward to catch it, only for me to snatch it from the air and do a clever little spin, causing us to switch sides.

I righted myself and turned to him with a triumphant smirk. "Have it your way then." I told him, then pitched it with all my might. The tiny globe soared through the air, and I was unsteadied as Potter sped past me, still determined on getting it. I held my broom steady and watched.

It was about to shatter against the wall of one of the towers when he got hold of it. I made a face, no longer in a good mood, being that he'd caught it. All his stupid friends –and some of mine, I noted with a sinking heart- cheered and ran to greet him as he glided back down, holding the glimmering globe in his hand.

Then, as he ran to them to collect his congratulations, I noticed professor McGonagall striding up, a displeased look on her face. "Harry potter!" She called, forcing silence upon the crowd. I smirked, having already set my broom down long before she'd come out and was standing amongst the others. I hadn't been seen.

"Follow me." She said in a tone that was both grave and disappointed. I smiled, very well pleased with myself as I, Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle stood, laughing easily at his misfortune. He'd be expelled for sure!

I shook my head, slightly remorseful for what I'd done as I stared at the way he dragged his feet and slumped his shoulders as he followed professor McGonagall.

…

"Wait up! Malfoy, will you slow your half-eaten carcass down?!" I slackened my pace, turning my head to stare behind me. Only one person I knew, other than Potter and Granger, ever dared insult me. And that was Cerenbus.

"What do _you _want?" I asked spitefully, increasing my pace again, my eyes darting helplessly around, looking for any escape from Cerenbus' black eyes. Those eyes had begun to haunt my nightmares. There was simply something about him, his eyes in particular that just plain creeped me out.

"I heard about what happened with you and Potter." He told me breathlessly, as though he'd been running.

I let out a half-laugh. "Yes, and that's the last I'll be seeing of his sorry a-"

He cut me off. "You couldn't be more wrong, Malfoy." I stopped, turning on him sharply. I had stopped and spun so suddenly, he bumped into me.

He was still breathing heavily as he took a step back from me. "What do you mean?" I demanded.

"Haven't you heard? He's been made the seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team!" He told me.

"What?!" I cried, making him take another step back.

"That means he's the youngest Quidditch player in a century!" He told me.

I stared at him for a moment, then turned slowly, walking ahead, staring at the floor, thinking. I absent-mindedly noted that Cerenbus had moved to walk beside me. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"Huh?" I turned to look up at him. I swallowed, feeling my heart burst into a flurry of fear-induced, over-stimulated heartbeats at the sight of his coal-black eyes boring into me in a less than friendly gaze.

The look disappeared when I looked back up at him. My face twitched as I eyed him suspiciously. "I'm fine." I told him, my eyes searching his face. He blinked, seeming to notice my scrutiny, but saying, nor doing anything about it. I became very uncomfortable under his black stare as it continued to bore into me.

I suddenly felt the need to get away from him. "I, I'll see you later, okay?" I told him, slowly backing away. He raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "I-uhm, detention! I have detention, soo, bye." With that I spun on my heel and raced down the hall, grabbing the wall and spinning around the corner.

I threw my back against the wall and panted, then slowly turned to peek around the corner to see if he'd followed me. I couldn't spot him among the students walking by. 'Detention? Really, Draco? That was your excuse?' I scolded myself. I swallowed, pulling back. I turned to head for the Slytherin common room. I ran right into someone standing in front of me.

I let out a startled cry, jumping back. I stared up into the black eyes of… Snape. Never before had I been so pleased to see Snape. Thank God it wasn't Cerenbus. If it had been, well… I would have freaked. I stared up at him, still panting slightly. I felt myself go cold as his black eyes stared down at me, looking so much like his son. Indeed, the resemblance was uncanny.

"Professor…" I began, unsure.

"Mister Malfoy, where are you going?" He asked, his tone seemingly uncaring.

"The… the Slytherin common room, sir." I told him. He nodded, stepping aside and gesturing for me to go on ahead. I stared at him uncertainly as I slowly walked past. He looked so much like his son at that moment, with his arm stretched out, just like Felin had done in the bathroom, gesturing for me to leave.

I swallowed, staring ahead as I continued toward the common room, trying to ignore the cold feeling of Snape's eyes on the back of my head.

**AN: There you go peoples! I hope you enjoyed it! :D please review?**


	5. Year 1: Chapter 5

**Chapter five: Looking for Trouble**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"Hey, Draco!" I turned to see a couple of my Slytherin friends running to catch up with me. I smiled, stopping and waiting for them.

"What?" I asked in my rather cocky, 'I only stopped because I felt like it' attitude.

"Ready for tonight?" Perem asked, smirking.

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "Tonight?" I asked, unsure what he meant.

"Oh, you didn't tell him?" Perem snapped at Goyle, who just shrugged. "Sorry, Draco. _Somebody _was stupid," He glared pointedly at Goyle. "and forgot to let you know that we're going to stay up all night and think of ways to get into trouble." He laughed, but his eyes were darting back and forth as if he were searching to make sure no one over-heard.

I made a face that was somewhat between a smile and an 'are you sure that's a good idea' look. He smiled, slapping my arm. "Eleven sharp, Slytherin common room." He told me in a whisper as he slid past me, the others following. I stared after them, my heart pounding.

I looked back ahead to see the only one that hadn't followed was Cerenbus. He was staring at me. I stared back for a moment, before swallowing and ducking my head, swiftly going around him, feeling his eyes on me as I went.

…

I swallowed repeatedly, rolling over in my bed. I pulled out my timepiece for the millionth time, staring at it, then putting it back on the bedside. It was my job to let everyone know when it was safe to get up, being that my bed was closest to professor Snape's room which branched off just away from the boys dormitory.

I looked at my timepiece again. It was time. I swallowed, sitting up and sliding out of bed, careful to walk quietly over to the door of professor Snape's room. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to do this. I just stood there, silently for a long time, listening. I heard nothing, but that didn't mean he was asleep.

'He ought to be.' I thought, looking at my timepiece again. 'And you ought to be too.' A harsh voice scolded in my mind. I ignored it. I reached a hand to the door handle, not wanting to walk in on him if he _was _awake. I swallowed. Bloody hell, that would be embarrassing!

Then again, I could pretend to be so tired I had taken the wrong door when heading out to get to the bathroom. I decided to take my chances as I slid the handle down and pushed the door open. Much to my relief, it didn't make a sound. I stared into the darkness of Snape's bedroom, feeling very lost and lonely now that I had entered.

I cautiously padded in, my eyes roaming everything. Snape didn't appear to be in there. I narrowed my eyes in confusion. Surely he wasn't out at this late at night? I had seen him go in his room myself, and I had been staring at the door ever since. It hadn't opened.

Since I was already in the room of the most mysterious wizard to ever walk the earth, my curiosity forced me to go deeper into the dark pit that was his bedroom. I was shaking now, and my breathing became slightly ragged. 'I shouldn't be in here!' I thought desperately. A moving picture on his black dresser caught my eye.

I picked it up carefully, staring as, a boy and girl stared back at me. The boy looked just like Cerenbus. So much so, that, for an instant, I swore it was him. I flipped it over and looked at the back. It read; Severus and Lily. Always.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion as I flipped it back over and stared at the smiling children. That boy was Snape? Couldn't be! He was smiling! I stared at it more closely, noting just how much he looked like Cerenbus. Practically identical.

I glanced over at the bed when I caught sight of movement out of the corner of my eye. It was Snape, rolling over in his bed. My eyes widened and I froze, staring. I hadn't checked the bed! 'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' My heart beat thirty times a second and I felt my blood run cold. After a few moments and nothing happened, I decided he was asleep.

I started for the door, going as quickly and quietly as possible. As soon as I was out, closing the door, I slumped to the floor, panting, and very much shaken.

I wiped my forehead, standing up, and absent-mindedly raising a shaking hand to brush a lock of near-white hair out of my eyes. I had washed all the gel out of it before bed, as I always did, and it was now allowed to hang loosely. I would prefer to continue to keep it that way, but I was sure my father wouldn't allow it.

I stared down at my hands, just then realizing that I still was clutching the picture! I cringed, mentally beating my head against a wall. 'Stupid, stupid, _stupid!' _What was I going to do with it? An idea popped into my head. I walked briskly, but quietly over to Cerenbus' bed and slid the picture into his belongings.

I moved away, pushing the picture out of my mind, then went over to Perem's bed and shook him. He got up immediately and started working on the others. Now, I got to go up to the girls dormitory and let them know it was safe to come down. I smiled slightly at the idea as I made my way through the dark hall, then down the spiraled stares and into the common room.

I went across to the other side of the stairs leading down to the dungeons, ignoring how dark and creepy it was, and up the spiraled stairs to the girl's dorm. As I walked to the door, I heard whispering on the other side. Good, they were awake. I tapped on the door carefully and it opened. All the girls were huddled together in front of it.

"Come on." I told them quietly. They all filed out after me, and I was grateful they were all behind me, so they couldn't see me blush at the sight of all of them in their nightclothes. Once we all got down to the bottom of the stairs, all the boys were already gathered around the fireplace they'd just lit.

"Okay everybody." Perem whispered. "Hush now, we can't be getting caught before we've spoken." He hissed at two boys who were goofing off. I stared over at them as they settled down, then back at Perem. "Now, to get this night started, why don't we play some truth and dare?" He smirked, rubbing his hands together.

I silently chuckled, smirking and shaking my head. Just like Perem to want to play truth and dare. He just wanted to dare one of the girls to snog him. I looked around at all the Slytherins congregated. I noticed that most of us were first and second years. I smirked again, realizing Perem's logic. All the third and higher years were likely to think this was all a bad idea and would turn us in.

We all sat in a circle, some of us –me amongst them- got the pleasure of sitting on the couches. While others were forced to sit on the floor. Most of the boys were gentlemen enough to let the girls have the couches, while others –again, me- hogged up the seats, enjoying being the only boys sitting _really _close to some of the prettiest girls.

I have to admit though, I was enjoying it too. "Alright, this is what we'll do-" Perem started.

I interrupted him. "We know how to play, Perem, sit down." I told him. I got a bunch of muffled giggles from that, and I smirked when he made a face and sat down.

I took the liberty of going first. I stood up, eyeing the crowd that was staring at me. I smirked when my eyes met that of Pansy Parkinson. I smiled as she blushed. I had secretly liked her from the start of school. "Parkinson." I began, causing her to giggle. I dare you…" I began slowly, thinking, all the while staring at her.

"To…" I grinned, opening my arms. "Give me a hug." She stared at me, blushing as all the girls giggled and the guys smirked and 'ooooooh!'(ed.) She stood up, and, even in the dim light of the fireplace, I could see her blushing furiously. She walked over to me shyly and slid her arms around my waist, embracing me in a rather awkward, but pleasant hug. I smirked and put my arms around her.

She bit her lip, smiling at me as she pulled away. She leaned in, pressing her lips firmly against my cheek. She pulled back, smiling and biting her lip. I smirked back and she giggled, rubbing her arm self-consciously and walking back over to sit down. I sat back down, grinning from ear-to-ear. Blaise punched my arm playfully, and I smiled, raising a hand to rub my already sore arm.

A memory flashed behind my eyes and I was paralyzed for a moment. I thrust it away, shaking. "Whoa, are you okay man?" Blaise whispered as another kid dared someone else to do something. I stared blankly ahead for a moment, then forced a smile and nodded, rubbing my arm. I snapped myself out of it, firmly telling myself that everything was fine and I should have fun. And have fun we did.

We went on like that for hours, daring each other to do silly things. "Okay guys, time to start daring for tomorrow. What pranks should we pull on Snape?" Perem asked.

"Not a good idea, Georgie, Snape doesn't seem like the type to be messing around with." A girl very sensibly stated.

"Scared?" He taunted, grinning at her.

"N-no." She drew back, pouting. I smirked, enjoying this very much. A second year student piped up her opinion. "Just, we have to be careful, because he isn't the fun and games kind of guy. He's really serious." She told us.

Perem nodded. "What do you think, Malfoy?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, desperate to be the one to come up with an idea everyone would love. "I… think we should lighten him up a bit." I told everyone, who chuckled and agreed. They all were talking for a moment, and I wasn't listening.

"Okay, Malfoy. Since you're new, and you seem like a pretty cool guy, how about you be the one to prank him?" Perem smirked at me.

I looked around at everyone who was staring at me. I smirked, not letting them see how nervous I was. How could I say no to them? I had just agreed that we should prank him, but why me?! "Okay." I forced the stutter out of my voice.

"Okay, I… dare you… to…" He thought for a moment, then his eyes lit up and he smirked at me.

I shifted slightly, uncomfortable now. "OH! I got it! How about, tomorrow, during potions, when he starts talking, scream and cover your ears, and repeatedly say… 'no! no! It's the voices again!'" He said the last part mocking my own voice. "And then, fall on the floor and pretend to have a seizure." He laughed, and everyone started giggling. I swallowed, not smiling as I stared at the other children trying desperately to keep their laughter quiet.

"How 'bout it, Malfoy?" He smirked at me when everyone quieted down. I swallowed again, staring at all the faces that were staring at me.

"No." I said plainly.

He raised his eyebrows. "Scared?" He taunted.

"No, it's just, stupid. A stupid thing to do." I told him.

He shook his head. "Honestly, I thought you were cool." He sighed. "Okay, who here is willing to do it?" He asked.

I couldn't let them think I was a wimp! That would ruin my whole reputation! "Fine!" I said, standing up. He turned back to me, smiling. "I'll do it." I added quietly, staring at the floor.

"I knew you'd come around." He smirked. I caught Cerenbus' gaze on me from across the room. His face was blank, and his eyes were emotionless as they stared at me. I completely tuned out the loud whispers and the grinning faces as the other students talked excitedly about what I was to do the next day.

I swallowed hard, not breaking eye contact with him. Was he mad? I couldn't tell. I sat back down, thinking. I sat silently, watching them talking, trying not to think about how scared I'd been just going into his room. How was I going to feel pulling a prank on him? And none the less, a prank that included making it look as though I were in great pain.

I knew it wouldn't be hard. I was no stranger to pain, I knew what it felt like, what it could do to you. It wasn't a thing to joke about. And yet, as I stared at all the people who would think I was cool for doing this, I decided I'd go through with it.

**AN: I hope you enjoyed! Please review, let me know what you think. OH! And Georgie Perem is fully my character too! So no stealing! ;)**


	6. Year 1: Chapter 6

**Chapter six: Prank Gone Wrong**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

…the next morning at potions…

I had been unable to eat a thing at breakfast, as I felt physically ill this morning, ill from fright of what I had been dared to do. And that I'd agreed to do it. I licked my dry lips, looking over at the door for the millionth time, expecting Snape to walk in at any moment. He was late this morning. Or was it we were just all early?

I felt very weak, as though I could barely muster enough strength to remain seated. I had a feeling I was working myself up so much about this, that I was actually making myself sick. Pretending to be deathly ill might come a bit easier, being that I felt I could actually pass out at any moment. I glanced over at Perem, who smirked at me. I couldn't muster the strength to smile back.

My heart leapt as soon as the doors burst open and Snape walked in like he owned the place. A new wave of nausea swept over me and I felt like I was going to be sick. I started panting, feeling as though I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. I stared up at him, my eyesight beginning to blur. I was sweating profusely. I raised a weak hand to wipe at it, but let it drop before it even reached.

"Turn to page thirty-six." Snape's voice grumbled. I raised my hands, fumbling with my book. I was shaking so much I dropped it and it clattered to the floor. I felt Snape's –and everyone else's- gaze rake over to me. "Malfoy-" he began. I couldn't take it anymore! I fell from my seat, shaking uncontrollably and gasping for air.

Perem and the others seemed to think I was just acting, because they all burst out giggling. Snape strode over to me. He stared down at me, then up at the other students. Only Slytherin was laughing. The other houses were taking this completely seriously, gasping and whispering.

Snape kneeled down beside me, and I felt his hand rest on my shoulder. "Malfoy?" He asked. I flinched, straining my hands in front of me. I opened and closed my jaw repeatedly, starting to stutter something. I choked, gasping in harshly. By this point, I was realizing that there was more to this than just getting myself worked up over this. There was something wrong with me.

Perem and a few others were laughing so hard they had fallen on the floor. Snape glared up at them. "What is the meaning of this?" He demanded. I clenched my fists, which, by now, were only strong enough to clasp more lightly than one would handle a delicate butterfly wing. Finally having seen enough and not getting a reply from the idiots who were rolling on the floor in laughter, Snape lifted me in his arms.

I let my head loll on his shoulder as I went in and out of consciousness. He carried me out, and I slowly began losing my sense of time, because it seemed like both an eternity, and an instant that it took us to get to the hospital wing. I was barely aware when he gently rested me on the bed and madam Pomfrey started fussing over me.

I gasped in one more time, still seemingly unable to get enough oxygen. The last thing I saw before everything went totally black was Snape's black eyes boring into me….

**POV: Severus Snape**

I stared down at the Malfoy boy as he went completely still. I must admit, I was more than a little shaken by his sudden, violent illness. I had carried him physically as I hadn't dared levitate him. What with him writhing around as much as he was, I didn't want him to hurt himself. "What's wrong with him?" I asked madam Pomfrey as she cast a spell to make him breathe.

"Not now, Severus." She told me hurriedly, moving around and grabbing random potions. After a while, she stopped and stepped back, sighing. I stared at Malfoy, laying peacefully on the medical bed. I turned to stare at her expectantly. She looked at me, then remembrance showed itself on her face.

"Oh, yes. It seemed he had a panic attack of some sort, and, for some reason, his lungs were not functioning. It also seems as if he's ingested, one or more potions of harmful substances." She wrung her hands, sounding fretful. "I cast a spell to support his lungs, but I don't know how long it will last or if he'll be able to breathe again on his own." She sighed, then turned to me.

"What exactly happened?" She asked.

I shook my head slowly, thinking. "I don't know, he was already in the classroom before I entered, and shortly after, he simply, collapsed." I thought back to all the boisterous laughter from his classmates, particularly my Slytherin students.

I narrowed my eyes, suspecting one of them or more may have slipped a potion to him to cause this. "Keep me posted on his condition." I told her, and with that, I left, heading back to potions.

…

**POV: Harry Potter**

"What the bloody hell was that all about?" Ron asked, staring after professor Snape as he carried Draco hurriedly out. I shrugged helplessly, shaking my head. We turned to Hermione, who also shrugged.

We then glared over at the Slytherin students who were still laughing and talking excitedly. "Oh man! Poor Draco's really gonna get it for this one." One boy in particular laughed, wiping his eyes.

"I don't know, Georgie, that looked pretty real to me." A girl stated.

"Real? Are you joking? Well, I have to admit the bloke is a bloody good actor, but remember, we planned this." He replied. She just made a face and turned away, muttering something along the lines of, 'nobody's _that _good.'

I turned back to Ron and Hermione. "It was just a bloody joke!" Ron cried standing up.

"That was cruel and horrible!" Hermione piped up, standing too.

I stood up just so I wouldn't be left out. "You mean he was just pretending to be sick?" I cried. The Slytherin called Georgie stood up, glaring at us.

"Yeah! Wasn't it fantastic?" He replied rudely, smirking.

"That's horrible!" Hermione cried.

"When Snape hears about this, you're all going to be in trouble!" I promised.

"Yeah? Well, how are you going to prove we were in on it? Draco was alone in this crime." He smirked. I glared at him. Even though I hated Draco with a passion, it was still horrible of this boy, supposedly Draco's friend, to leave all the blame on him.

He laughed again. I glared at him. We all started arguing, flinging accusations and insults at each other as if we'd rehearsed it.

Snape walked in at just that moment and bellowed for silence. The yelling died down and everyone turned to stare at him expectantly. He stared at us coldly, striding slowly up to the Slytherins and glaring at them. "Now." He began quietly and darkly. "I want to know, why mister Malfoy became so ill. And why, all of _you _were laughing like drunken fools." He demanded. They were all silent as his eyes bored into them.

Perem swallowed hard, staring up at Snape. "I want to know why this happened, and I want to know, _now._" He said darkly.

Perem swallowed hard again. "W-well, it was a prank…. He wasn't really sick…" He started.

"What do you mean?" Snape demanded, raising his voice.

"We, he, was just pranking you! He wasn't sick!" He cried.

Snape stared at him coldly. "I will tell you this right now, and listen carefully; Malfoy, was_ not_ acting, madam Pomfrey can confirm that, now I want to know the truth! Did you slip a harmful potion to Malfoy?" He asked, his voice low, but raised in some places to emphasize his words.

Perem stared at him for a moment. "N-no…" He started.

"Don't. Lie. To me." Snape hissed.

Perem stared at him for a moment longer, before dropping his gaze. "Yes." He murmured, finally admitting it.

Snape brought his fist down harshly on the desk, startling Perem into jumping backwards slightly, only just barely keeping his chair from tipping. "You _stupid_ boy!" He cried. "Malfoy's lungs nearly collapsed, do you realize, had I been any later in getting him to madam Pomfrey that he would be _dead_ now?" His voice had steadily grown colder and darker.

Perem swallowed again, staring at Snape with wide eyes. "Why did you do such a stupid thing?" He demanded.

"I-I we, uhh..." He stuttered.

"Spit it out, boy!" Snape demanded.

"W-we were playing a prank-" He began.

"Such nonsense will not be tolerated, especially when lives are put in danger!" Snape told him harshly. Perem flinched, staring at his desk.

"What potion did you use?" Snape demanded.

"Uh-buh, um, I used a Dizziness draught, and, uhh, uhhmm, the Drink of Despair," Snape closed his eyes at that one, setting his jaw in a grim line and clenching his fist. Hermione gasped, seemingly knowing what the potion was too and looked disgusted. "Uhh, Venomous Tentacula Juice, W-weakness Potion. A-and, I put G-Garrotting Gas on his desk." Snape held up his hand, stopping him from continuing.

"What, could possibly give you the idea that using all these, on _a fellow classmate_ was a good idea?" He demanded, looking very angry.

"I-I don't know…" He murmured, staring at his desk. Snape glared at him, then snatched his ear and started dragging him out of the classroom. Perem shrieked, knocking his chair over as he stumbled after Snape, begging him to let go of his ear, but Snape was obviously too mad to listen.

I looked at Hermione, eyes wide. "Do you know what the potions he used do?" I asked.

She sighed, slumping down in her seat. "Dizziness Draught causes the taker to be dizzy and disoriented, the Drink of Despair," She closed her eyes and shook her head. "it's cruel and inhumane to use it! How could Perem have possibly gotten his hands on the ingredients to make it?!" She fretted.

"Calm down, what does it do?" I asked.

"It causes extreme pain." She sighed, staring at the door. "And, Venomous Tentacula Juice is a non-fatal poison, but it causes simply dreadful pain and it messes with the drinkers internal organs. Weakness Potion, obviously makes the taker weak. And, Garrotting Gas causes the inhaler to choke, or suffocate." She shook her head, swallowing hard.

"Bloody hell, you think he used enough potions?" Ron murmured, shaking his head.

"The mixture of all those potions wasn't good for him at all. He's lucky to be alive." Hermione murmured.

**AN: I know you were probably expecting something different entirely. I hope you enjoyed! Please review? Thanks**


	7. Year 1: Chapter 7

**Chapter seven: Healing; Depression**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I woke up slowly to a darkness that seemed to stretch over everything, dragging it down into the depths of despair and loneliness. I felt inexplicably depressed and weak. Indeed, I felt I hadn't the strength to even open my eyes.

A gnawing curiosity forced me to open my eyelids, though they were so heavy I couldn't keep them open for more than an instant. "He's awake!" I heard a very muffled voice say, as though it were under water. I tried to move, but I was so weak… it was impossible.

"Draco? Sweetie, are you awake? Can you hear me?" The same watery voice asked. I couldn't recognize it. I tried to open my eyes again, but I couldn't. I tried nodding, to let her know I could hear her, but I couldn't. I was too weak. I just lay there, frighteningly exhausted and unexplainably depressed.

I found it rather, difficult to breathe, in and out, in and… out, in…. and, out. I choked, suddenly unable to breathe. There was shouting another lifetime away, and I was suddenly able to breathe again. I coughed, gasping in air.

"Looks like he can't breathe on his own yet." A distant voice murmured. What was going on? What happened? The last thing I remembered, was being in class, and I suddenly couldn't breathe. It was so vivid and horrifying that I flinched. The flinch, though small, drained so much of my energy. I drifted into sweet nothingness once again.

…

I woke up, fatigued and depressed, unsure of where I was or what was going on. I opened my eyes, only to be blinded into shutting them again. I shifted slightly, feeling uncomfortably numb.

"He moved!" A hoarse voice cried in a whisper. I felt a hand rest gently on my chest. The sudden, though light, weight on my ribs made it hard to breathe. The hand moved and the pressure left with it. I swallowed, and opened my eyes again, blinking slowly. Everything was blurry, and colors seemed to mix and move, swirling slightly.

I felt nauseous at the sight and closed my eyes again. I moaned, feeling a sharp bit of pain in my abdomen. "Oh, sweetie, what's wrong?" A gentle voice murmured. It was as though the curtain of water had moved. I could hear perfectly now, and what I heard, I knew was my mother's voice.

I whimpered, feeling tears pool in my eyes, slipping down my cheeks. "Oh, baby, shh, it's alright." I felt my mother's lips press gently on my hot forehead. I swallowed again, unable to do anything else. I wanted so desperately to move, to ask what had happened.

After a while, I fell asleep from sheer fatigue.

I woke later, feeling stronger, but still unbelievably weak. I opened my eyes. Things had cleared up a bit, though everything was still a bit of a blur. I saw my mother sitting on a chair by my bed, her head nestled under my arm. I felt her body shaking, and heard little sobs.

I suddenly felt the need to let her know I was okay. I moved, and her head popped up. She stared at me with a tear-streaked face, her eyes red. "Draco! Draco, are you okay, sweetie? Can you hear me?" She begged. I stared at her, then turned my head to stare at madam Pomfrey as she began checking me over. I barely noticed her cold hands as she ran them along my body, feeling me over.

"How are you feeling, young man?" She asked. I stared at her blankly, not quite processing her words. "Her wan am?" I asked, trying to ask why I was here, but it came out totally slurred and not even the right words.

"What?" I turned back to my mother, who was staring at me intently.

I scrunched up my face, annoyed. "For her… wan am?... for…." I made a face again, shaking my head, trying to clear the dense fog that was there.

"What's wrong with him?" I heard my mother ask, but I had no idea what she was saying.

"He may be having trouble connecting words to thoughts." Madam Pomfrey replied, to which I, once again, couldn't understand what she was saying.

I looked around, my eyes searching for the person I knew wouldn't be there, but I felt the need to assure myself that he truly wasn't. When my eyes didn't deceive me, and I saw he was indeed not present, I lay my head back down.

I moved, suddenly very irritated. I tried sitting up, but was immediately thrown back by an overwhelming sense of dizziness and nausea. I coughed, trying to even out my breathing again. I closed my eyes and stopped moving, refusing to move or do anything, even with my mother's persistent shaking and 'Draco? Draco?! DRACO?!'

I held my breath, wanting to make myself pass out so I didn't have to deal with the numbness in my body which was slowly transferring to my brain. "He's not breathing!" She shrieked. Funnily enough, I understood that perfectly.

I let the darkness take me again.

…

I woke up again, very annoyed that this had happened for the third time in…. who knows how long it had been. Or was it the fourth? I really couldn't remember.

I opened my eyes again. Feeling as though I could care less about what I saw. Surely, there was something horrible, waiting to eat me? That would actually be helpful… I felt lousy enough to not care. I stared ahead blankly, not seeing anything of interest. That is, until my roaming gaze landed on a figure in black wizard robes standing by the bed.

I stared at it for a moment, then realized it was either Snape or Cerenbus. Seeing as the person was young, and wearing school clothes under his wizard robe, I figured it was Cerenbus. What was he doing there?

I stared at him. He stared back. I stared. He stared. I started getting creeped out. I still hoped he would eat me or something, put me out of my misery.

I blinked, sighing and moving slightly, feeling a numbness all throughout my body. "What happened?" I slurred.

He opened his mouth, taking in a short breath before he spoke. "You passed out. Again." He told me.

"How long have I been out?" I asked.

"Nearly a week." He told me. I widened my eyes.

"Well, since you first passed out in potions class." He corrected himself. "Only a day since you stopped breathing again." He told me.

"Oh." I looked around. "What made that happen? In potions?" I asked.

"Perem put a whole load of bad potions in your cup at breakfast that morning. That's why you weren't feeling well." He told me.

I widened my eyes, staring at him in shock. "Perem did this to me?" I cried.

He nodded. "He's been expelled. But not before he was given a piece of all the teacher's minds. Boy did he ever get it, especially from father." He shook his head slowly. I continued to stare at him blankly. "WE still can't get him to say where he got the ingredients to make the potions with." He sighed.

I swallowed again, feeling parched. "I'm thirsty." I told him. He moved obediently to the side of my bed and grabbed the cup from the bedside.

"Can you sit up?" He asked. I shook my head. His face twitched, and he set the cup back down, gently sliding his arms under me and pulling me up into a sitting position, holding my head up with one hand while he held the cup to my dry lips.

I swallowed greedily, feeling the soothing liquid drain down my throat. He put the cup back and helped m lay back down. "Where's mum? And madam Pomfrey?" I asked quietly, just then noticing their absence.

"They're having a meeting about whether or not you're well enough to stay here, or if you should go home." He told me.

"They-" I cut him off as he began to speak again.

"NO!" I shrieked with such force that caused him to jump back, startled. I let my gaze drop, clamping my mouth shut and swallowing hard.

Cerenbus continued on, quietly and uncertainly. "They, asked me to watch you…" He told me.

I nodded, not looking at him. "Are you alright?" he asked. I shook my head, not bothering to lie. "What's wrong?" He prompted. I just shook my head again, unable to tell him. I felt his hand rest on my shoulder, squeezing it gently. "I know how you feel." He whispered, right in my ear before moving away. I shivered as his cold breath sent chills down my spine.

Even after his hand was gone, I could still feel where it had been. I moved my head, but he was gone. I stared as madam Pomfrey, mother and professor Snape all walked in. "Baby!" Mum cried, running to me and holding my head in her hands. "Are you okay?" She asked.

I nodded, swallowing. "Do you want to come home, sweetie? You don't have to stay if you don't feel like it." She whispered. I shook my head fiercely. She stared at me knowingly. "Okay." She whispered. "Are you feeling better?" She asked, pushing my hair back and kissing my warm forehead.

I nodded again. "Are you hungry? You must be, you haven't eaten in a while. Madam Pomfrey has been giving you nutrients, but…" She chuckled carefully. "It's not the same." I shook my head. I was in no mood to eat.

"Do you think a warm bath would help make you feel better?" She asked. I thought for a moment, then nodded. "You want me to help you?" She asked carefully, knowing I wasn't a little kid anymore, but I could see it in her eyes that she desperately wanted to help me. I nodded slowly.

"Yes, I think a hot bath is just what he needs." Madam Pomfrey smiled warmly. I stared at her, too depressed to smile back, though I wanted to. I _really _wanted to.

"Can you walk, or should I levitate you?" She asked.

"I can't walk." I told her certainly. She drew out her wand but madam Pomfrey pushed her arm mother turned to look at her questioningly, she explained herself.

"The levitation spell will mess witht he speel I have keeping his lungs intact, you'll have to carry him." She explained. Mother nodded. I felt her slide her hands under me and gently lift me in her arms.

I wrapped my arms around her neck to help her out a little. I felt like a little kid again. She hadn't held me in a few years. At least four years, when I was seven. "I'm sure Severus can carry him if you can't." Miss Pomfrey stated when she saw mother struggling slightly even though I was small.

Snape looked anything but pleased at being elected to do such a thing. Mother handed me over to him, who reluctantly took me. I stared at mother's face. She was fairly strong, but I don't think she could have managed me all the way to the bathrooms. I was light –lighter than was healthy- but I still don't think she could have done it.

I dared not put my arms around Snape's neck. That would have been unbearably awkward, so I kept them in my lap as he shifted me in his grasp for better hold, then carried me through the corridors. Fortunately, classes were in session, so prying eyes were little to none. When we reached the levorotary, mother right behind us, he set me down on the floor next to the great big pool and mother crouched down beside me.

Snape, of course, left right away, promptly after ungenerously asking mother if there was anything else she needed. Mother helped me undress, and I was too out of it to care. "Okay, come on baby." She murmured, helping me into the steaming water she'd drawn.

I sat, half-awake in the gloriously warm water as my mother soaped up my head. My hair –and of course the rest of me- hadn't been washed in a week. I felt overall pretty gross. By the time mother had washed the suds out of my hair, her gentle massaging of my scalp had put me to sleep.

She stayed with me for a good long time, making sure my head didn't slip into the water. I should have felt so loved. But at that point, I was feeling other things entirely.

**AN: Please let me know what you think?**


	8. Year 1: Chapter 8

**Chapter eight:**

**To see who cares**

**POV: Ron Weasley**

"We haven't seen, or heard anything about him all week. Professor Dumbledore only announced that a student poisoned another student, and that the one was expelled, and the other didn't die, I want to go see him!" Hermione had been harping on us about Draco all day.

I rolled my eyes. "What is it with you and Malfoy all of a sudden?" I cried.

She stared at me, looking horrified. "Have a heart, Ronald Weasley! The poor boy almost _died._" She told me.

I shook my head. "Yeah, like he'd care if you were in the same position. Admit it, Hermione. You know he wouldn't." I told her.

"He's right you know." Harry put in.

Hermione glared at both of us. "It doesn't matter what he's done. He's still a human being-"

"That's debatable."

"He deserves to know someone cares" Hermione sighed.

"But we _don't _care, Hermione. Leave caring to his parents. And plus, he's mean to us, and, besides. He hates us, and wouldn't want to see us anyway." Harry added.

Hermione glared at him. "Well, I'm going to go see him, if you two are _man _enough, you are more than welcome to join me." With that, she pushed past us and headed for the hospital wing.

I stared after her. "Blimey." I muttered.

"Come on." Harry sighed, following her. Harry didn't say anything as I followed him. By the time we got there, Hermione was already there, standing at the side of the bed, staring down at a very pale boy with even paler hair. Draco.

"Ah, Harry, Ron. You are here to see mister Malfoy too?" Madam Pomfrey smiled at us warmly. Harry nodded and I did too, not taking my eyes off the small boy as we came closer. "He's asleep just now, but you can stay with him for a bit if you like." She told us, tapping over to her office.

I stared as Hermione reached out her hand, hesitantly brushing it over Draco's small hand which lay limply at his side. "He's so cold." She murmured. I stared at her, intrigued. She was such a caring person, even about those who didn't care back. I liked that about her.

My eyes went back to Malfoy and I studied him. It was strange, seeing him like this. So vulnerable, weak. And for once, his face didn't wear a scowl. I was a look of weariness, and susceptibility. It was a side of him I'd never seen before. My eyes went up to his hair, which wasn't slicked back, but rather hung loosely over his head, which was turned sideways on the pillow, facing us.

I raised an eyebrow. "Hermione, he may look harmless now, but you know how mean he is." I reminded her, standing closely at her side. She didn't reply. I noticed her hand was still clamped gently over Draco's, almost protectively.

She turned to us. "I think there's more to Draco than meets the eye, guys. I don't think we should judge him for what he does. We don't know if that's all an act. He could be a different person entirely." She told us.

"Yeah, but how are we supposed to know the real him? He'll never let us." Harry piped up.

Hermione merely shrugged, turning back to Malfoy. "Well, let's go then. We got to see him, let's go before he wakes up." I urged.

Hermione gave us a death glare. "Go if you want, but I'm staying." She insisted, plopping down in the seat next to the bed.

_"Staying?"_ Harry and I said at the same time, bewildered.

"Yes, he needs someone to look after him, and I want to be a healer, so, this could be good for me." She replied.

"Blimey, Hermione." I sighed, rolling my eyes. "I'm late for class." I muttered, pushing past Harry to storm out of the hospital wing.

**POV: Hermione Granger**

I knew Draco was our enemy. I knew he despised me, but I felt there was more to him than he was letting us see. I felt what he needed now, more than anything was a friend. I didn't understand this feeling I was having, but I followed it. I turned back to see Harry was still there, standing uncertainly behind me, staring at Draco.

"Well? Staying or leaving, Harry." I told him. He stared after Ron for a minute, then turned back to me.

He sighed. "I suppose I could stay a little longer." He murmured, pulling up a chair and sitting beside me. I scooted over a little so he could see Draco better.

"What do we do if he wakes up? You know he won't be pleased to see us." He asked. I knew he was already awake, but I had a feeling he didn't want us to know that.

I just shrugged. "I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." I replied quietly, watching Draco's face. He had a nice face. It's too bad he had it scrunched up in a scowl so often.

His hair looked so much better not plastered to his skull. It was a pity he didn't wear it down more often. I felt his cold hand twitch under mine. I noticed his eyelids twitching too. "I think he's waking up." Harry stood.

"So?" I asked.

"Hermione, I… think it would be best if we weren't here when he woke up. Besides, we both have classes we need to be getting to." He put his hand under my arm, gently but firmly pulling me up.

I sighed, letting go of Draco's hand and standing. "Okay." I replied quietly, turning away and following Harry out. I stopped and glanced back at Draco, seeing that his eyes were open, then we left.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I stared after Potter and Granger as they left. I noticed Granger stop look back at me, then walk out. I blinked uncertainly, wondering why they'd come in the first place. I'd been awake the whole time, I just hadn't wanted to face them.

I moved my head and stared blankly at the ceiling, thinking. My cold hand could still feel the warmth from where Granger had held it. I had, surprisingly, enjoyed the feeling. I sighed, wishing I didn't have to hate her, she seemed nice, but she was a mudblood. I scowled. Her blood wasn't pure. She was muggleborn, and that was disgusting.

I pushed her out of my mind, shifting uncomfortably. I was numb again. The bath mother had helped me with had revived my body somewhat, but that was a few hours ago now. After she had woken me and helped me dry off and dress, she had grabbed the first seventh-year boy she'd seen to help her carry me back to the hospital wing.

I barely remembered it, I had fallen asleep at some point when he had carried me, and I hadn't even bothered to notice that it had been a Gryffindor student. I had woken again when he had moved me from his arms to the bed, but I'd been so tired, I'd fallen asleep right after.

I had woken again, not long before Granger had come. I had a feeling she knew I was awake, because she'd walked right up to me before I'd noticed her and closed my eyes, but she hadn't said anything. I was grateful for that. Besides, I had nothing good to say to her, and I didn't want to insult her when she was the only one who seemed to care right now.

I sighed, closing my eyes. I wanted to sleep, but I felt too tired to sleep. I wanted to get up and stretch, but I was too weak. The energy I felt right now was nervous energy, and it wouldn't support me for long. I played with the idea of calling for madam Pomfrey and getting her to help me stand for a few seconds, just so I could stretch, but I didn't feel like it.

I ended up just falling back to sleep.

**AN: I hope you enjoyed it! Cerenbus' POV coming up next! ;) please review! Please?**


	9. Year 1: Chapter 9

**Chapter nine:**

**My secret son**

**POV: Falin Cerenbus**

I walked silently through the crowded halls, squeezing through people, avoiding eye contact at all costs and body contact even more so. I stopped in front of my father's office, knowing he was in there, waiting for me. I raised a shaking hand and pushed open the door, walking in.

"Father?" I asked quietly, stepping into the dimly lit office and waiting for my eyes to adjust. When they did, I saw my father sitting at his desk, working on something, his black clothing blending well with the darkness. He stared at me, with the same black eyes that were my own.

"Don't just stand there, boy. Come in." He told me, looking back down at his papers as though they were more important than I was. I hurriedly did as he said, closing the door and walking closer to his desk. Knowing he demanded full privacy of what he did and when, I didn't even bother trying to sneak a peek at what he was working on. I just kept my little black eyes locked with his.

The suspense was killing me, as he ignored me and continued writing. I swallowed nervously. "Y-you wanted to see me?" I asked.

"Yes, sit down." He told me, not even looking up. I did as he said, slipping into the chair in front of his desk. I continued staring at him expectantly. "What have I told you about staring, it's rude." He muttered, glaring at me as he set down his quill.

I looked away, swallowing. "Sorry father." I whispered. I met his gaze since he was paying attention to me all of a sudden. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and staring at me. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze, as always. He said I had inherited his ability to stare holes in things, but I personally believed he was still better at it.

I shifted uncomfortably. "Yes?" I asked.

"You are friends with the Malfoy boy, correct?" he asked thoughtfully.

I blinked, furrowing my brow. "Sort of, I don't think he really likes me though…. He… he knows." I added that part quietly.

He nodded, knowing exactly what I was talking about. "I know, I saw him staring at us during potions a few weeks ago." He replied, brushing it off.

"You're not mad?" I asked, confused.

"I don't see how it can be harmful for him to know, unless, of course he tells someone…" He began.

I smiled. "He can't. I used a Fidelius charm on him." I told him, proud of myself.

"Stop grinning, you look like an idiot." My smile quickly vanished. "Don't overestimate your abilities, you're sure you used it correctly?" he checked. I nodded.

"Answer me correctly, I didn't raise you to speak with your head." He told me.

I swallowed again. "Yes sir." I whispered. I shifted again. "I was wondering… why you wanted to know if we were friends?" I asked.

He nodded. "Ah yes." He murmured. "I want you to keep an eye on him. I can't all the time, as I have other duties to attend to, but you, however, are in each and every class he is. I want you to stay with him." He told me.

I gave him a puzzled look. "Why-" I began.

"Don't question me, just do it." He replied, picking up his paper and handing it to me. "Give this to madam Pomfrey." He told me.

"Yes sir, it's just… is there anything in particular you want me to watch for?" I asked.

He stared at me for a moment. "I just want you to watch him. Make sure other students don't mess with him, make sure he doesn't have any more panic attacks, make sure no one puts potions in his food that could be harmful to him. Just… keep a protective eye on him."

I nodded slowly. "Yes sir." I replied.

"Good." He went back to writing.

I stared at him for a moment, then stood and picked up my books again. "Bye… father." I whispered, opening the door.

"Falin." He called just before I walked out. I turned to him. "…Thank you." I stared at him for a heartbeat, then smiled and walked out.

I thought about my life for a while as I headed for the hospital wing to start my mission. Father had told me my mother had died giving birth to me. I can't say I believed him, as I remembered my mother, but I never brought it up. It was a sore subject for him.

Father had told me, ever since I was young enough to understand, that no one could ever find out he was my father. And so, he named me Falin, which meant 'my secret' Cerenbus, which meant 'son of' and then Snape, which meant Snape. Therefore, my name meant 'my secret son' or 'Secret son of Snape'

I always used my middle name as my last when I met new people. Father forbade me long ago to make friends if I told them my real last name, so instead I used my middle name.

I stopped just outside the hospital wing, building the courage to enter. I finally did, and went in. Madam Pomfrey was on me in an instant. "Are you hurt?" She asked.

"No."

"Are you sick?"

"No."

"Are you here for lessons in healing?"

"No."

"Are you here to help in any way?"

"No."

"Is there an emergency I should know about?"

"No."

"Then get back to class." She snapped.

"Professor Snape gave me this." I handed her the paper he had been writing on.

She looked at it, nodding as her eyes scanned it. "Oh, yes. Very well." She smiled at me and ushered me in, placing a bony hand on my shoulder. I walked in, over to Malfoy's bed where he was laying, staring up at the ceiling.

I stood there for a while, watching him as madam Pomfrey went back to her office. I came over to stand beside the bed. His eyes moved to me. I saw something flash behind them when he realized who I was. "What do you want?" He demanded. I stared at him, unfazed.

"Father told me to look after you." I told him.

"Oh." He went back to staring blindly at the ceiling. I set my books down on the chair and sat on the edge of his bed. He moved slightly so that our bodies weren't touching in any way. I stared at him. He really was very boring.

I looked around, crossing my ankles as they dangled from the side of the bed. "Aren't you bored?" I finally asked.

He looked at me. "Not really." He replied quietly, staring at me curiously. "Surely you must have some class to go to?" He asked.

I shook my head. "I can only go if you are able to go too." I replied.

He made a face. "Well that's just too bad." He grumbled, going back to staring.

"Surely you are healed by now?" I asked.

"Not yet, I still can't breathe on my own." He sighed. I raised an eyebrow. I slid off the side of the bed and stood next to it, preparing to do something. I raised my hands above him, then, remembering that he might not like me touching him, I looked at him questioningly.

"May I?" I asked. He stared at me, confused.

"Go ahead…?" He said uncertainly. I nodded, placing my hands on him, one on his chest, the other on his stomach. I felt his body go rigid beneath my hands. I closed my eyes, using my exceptionally advanced healing powers to search his body for whatever was keeping him from being able to breathe on his own.

I located in my mind the spell that was helping him breathe, placed there by madam Pomfrey. I kept searching, feeling his bony chest rise and fall gently under my hand. I found traces of the potions that had made him sick, traces that hadn't yet left. With a simple thought, I attacked them and they dissipated.

I kept on searching, mainly in his lungs. They seemed to have been damaged by the Venomous Tentacula Juice, which tended to do that to internal organs. Silently, I wondered why madam Pomfrey hadn't done this herself. I began repairing them, pouring my own energy into my hands and feeding it into his body.

I felt my hands go warm, and I knew healing was seeping from them into him. I felt him shift nervously under me. "Stop! What are you doing?" I opened my eyes, immediately stopping. I watched his terrified face as he stared at my glowing hands.

"I'm healing you." I replied calmly, lifting my hands. "Don't you want that?" I asked.

He stared at me as uncertainty and trust battled for dominance. He eventually nodded, resting his head back again. I gently repositioned my hands, firmly, yet gently pushing them against him, then closed my eyes and relocated the problem. I began healing again.

After a few moments, I disabled the spell madam Pomfrey had cast. I felt him draw in sharply, trying to get his lungs to expand on their own. I also felt mad panic tremble through his body when he failed to be able to do so. I remained calm, pushing more strength in and helping him expand his lungs, then let out the breath, then inhale, exhale. After a while, he was able to do it on his own.

I smiled, opening my eyes and stopped pushing on his body, instead, let my hands rest there gently as I stared at him as he concentrated on steadying his breathing. "Better?" I asked.

He stared at me, then smiled. "Thank you." He whispered.

I smiled stiffly and nodded. "No problem." I replied. I moved my hands. He inhaled sharply, obviously thinking me moving them would cause him to stop breathing, but he was able to keep going, if a bit shakily, but he still did.

I gave a small smile, sitting down on the edge of his bed again. He had closed his eyes, and was breathing deeply and slowly, smiling slightly. I smiled again, pleased I was able to help him. I felt rather weak and shaky after pouring so much of my own strength into him for that healing, but I was still pleased.

"Do you want me to get madam Pomfrey? She should be able to tell if you're able to go yet." I told him quietly. His eyes flashed open, and my black eyes met his molten silver ones. I secretly loved his eyes. I loved the divine blue tint they had to them. I envied his eyes greatly. My own were dark, black depths of nothing. His had soul to them.

I shook myself out of it when he was nodding. "Okay." I slid off the bed and made my way wearily over to madam Pomfrey's office.

"Madam Pomfrey?" I asked as I pushed the partially opened door all the way.

"Yes?" She looked up from the papers she'd been working on.

"Draco would like to know if he can leave yet." I told her.

"Certainly not, he's in no condition to-" I cut her off.

"Please come check him over at least?" I asked her.

She sighed and stood. "Very well." She murmured.

She followed me out to see that Draco was sitting up, his legs dangling from the side of the bed, his back facing away from us. "Ah, Draco, it seems you're feeling better." Madam Pomfrey smiled, sounding surprised. Pleased, but surprised. Draco merely nodded.

After checking him over a minute, she stepped back, a shocked look on her face. "You are completely healed, young man." She told him. He just nodded and slipped off the bed, standing wobbly on his legs. I stepped forward to help him, but he pushed me away and started walking on his own. I followed close beside him, letting him know silently that he could lean on me if he needed to.

"Draco!" He looked back at Madam Pomfrey as she stood there. "Go ahead and go to your dormitory, dear. Get some rest." She told him. He just nodded and kept going. I followed him.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him carefully.

"I'm fine." He said tersely. I was taken aback. His mood seemed to have changed drastically from a few moments ago.

I recovered quickly and caught up to him. "I can tell something's wrong." I pressed, knowing I shouldn't, but I needed to know.

He turned to me suddenly. "You're bloody annoying, you know that?" He growled. I stared down at him as he stared back up at me, his eyes flashing defiantly. It was, in my opinion, his way of letting me know what I did back in the hospital wing in no rights made us friends. I was really hurt by the notion.

"Alright, I can see you still don't like me-" I started.

"What are you playing at, anyway?" He interrupted. "I've never seen any med-witch or wizard ever in my lifetime be able to do what you just did. What makes you so special?" he demanded, stepping closer so he was right in my face.

I stared back at him evenly, only having to look down slightly at the smaller boy. "I am very advanced in the healing magic." I replied truthfully.

"And what makes that so?" He asked, still sounding spiteful.

"Father says I was born with the gift." I replied.

"What about wandless magic? It takes practitioners years to do even the simplest of spells without wands!" He cried.

"As I said before, I was born with… special, powers." I replied softly.

"Bloody healers." Draco hissed, looking at me when he said it, but talking to no one in particular. His eyes, the same eyes I wished I had, searched my face for a moment. "Where were you when I needed you?" He breathed, almost too softly to be heard. With that, he turned and stalked away, leaving me staring after him, mystified.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I stormed away from the bloody healing prodigy, feeling his morbid eyes boring into the back of my head. I moved as quickly as my weak body would allow. I felt a wave of relief wash over me as a wall was finally put between me and those hollow, sinister eyes. I didn't know what it was about him, but he completely scared the wits out of me.

Nothing I can say can make you comprehend the indescribable feeling of dread and freezable terror that come over me every time he looks at me. It's as though he looks at me with guilt, or in a way that seems to say, 'I have a secret' and is daring me to find it out.

What I had said to him, however, was indeed a truth. There had been a time when I'd needed him, and he hadn't been there. A time I didn't like to think about. I pushed the thoughts out of my head as I said the password for the Slytherin common room. I sighed, going in and around to the stairs up to the boys dormitory.

I slipped into my bed, not bothering to change as sleep slowly claimed me.

I was jolted awake, who knows how much later by icy hands on my arm. I blinked open my eyes, frost blue gaze searching for what had woken me. My eyes met those of Cerenbus' and the same feeling that he was hiding something came over me again. "What?" I demanded, feeling as though the blood in my arm where his hands were was about to freeze solidly through. Why the hell were his bloody hands so cold?

"Where did you get this?" He hissed, holding up the picture of professor Snape I'd found.

I felt my breath hitch in my throat. "I don't know what you're talking about." I told him evenly, having learned to lie through my teeth without flinching.

"Liar!" He hissed, tightening his grip on my arm and dragging me out of my bed. I stumbled to my feet unsteadily. He shoved the picture in my face. "How did you get it?" He demanded quietly. My eyes scanned the room. "We're alone." He told me, seeming to read my mind.

"You went in my father's room? When?" He demanded, once again, seemingly reading my mind.

"I-I, w-when we… when..." I swallowed, feeling his sub-zero gaze boring into me. His face was so close to mine, I felt I was staring into the depths of his soulless eyes as I felt his cold breath on my face. I flinched, suddenly feeling the side of my face burn, right where his blood had been, that day on the train where he'd hit me.

"That night we stayed up late! When I was in charge of making sure he was asleep! I went in, I found the picture, and I forgot to put it back! I didn't mean to take it, I swear!" I told him earnestly.

I felt his gaze soften slightly, but he still spoke to me harshly. "Don't _ever _touch my father's personal belongings again." He growled through clenched teeth. I nodded rapidly and he released his grip on my arm. I immediately felt it warming as blood throbbed through it.

He spun on his heel, storming away from me, his black boots clomping quietly on the floorboards. I swallowed, thoroughly shaken as I slumped down on my bed, staring after him fearfully. My gaze swept to the door as it was pushed open and all the Slytherin students walked in, talking excitedly to one another.

I stared at them, feeling the burning on my face slowly subside and the warmth gradually draining back into my arm. My eyes went back to where Cerenbus had vanished behind the door to his father's room. Something was off about him. Something I couldn't understand.

**AN: This chapter was a bit longer! I hope you enjoyed, it was a little insight on the whole, father/son relationship between Severus and Falin. It also mystifies Falin and Draco in this chapter... so, lol. Please review? :)**


	10. Year 1: Chapter 10

**Chapter ten:**

**Angels and demons**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

Several weeks past by without any significant incidents. It was close to the end of the day, after all of our classes were over.

Falin and I rarely spoke to each other anymore. And on the rare chance we crossed paths, we avoided eye contact at all costs. I was perfectly content, as I had no intentions of being friends with the insufferably morbid boy. He reminded me too much of pain, as if the life had been beaten out of him, and that was why his eyes were always so dark and soulless. I hated it.

I stared up at professor Binns as he stuttered on about something from the Goblin wars or something. Stuff I found to be useless. I felt something light tap my hands. I looked down to see that a note had been dropped there. I looked around. Pergei was to my right and Pansy was to my left. Neither looked as though they'd thrown it.

I looked back down and opened it with trembling fingers. It read;

**Do you hate me?**

I raised my eyebrows in confusion and looked around again. Who the bloody hell had thrown it? I stared pointedly at Pergei until I caught his eye and stared at me, raising his eyebrows in question. I raised the note slightly for him to see, and mouthed. 'did you throw this?'

He shook his head, making a face. I raised an eyebrow and shrugged. I scribbled on the note. Then looked around the room. No one looked like they'd thrown it. I noticed Cerenbus to my right as well, just beside Pergei. I made a face and looked back down. I crumbled it up and tossed it at Cerenbus, the only person I figured it could be.

His pencil stopped moving as he stared down at the note. He opened it, then looked back up at me, making a face. I shrugged. He scribbled something down, then tossed it back.

**What?**

I looked back up and he was staring at me, his hands out slightly as if trying to ask 'what the hell?'

I made a face. Okay, so it wasn't from Cerenbus. I looked around again to just see Pansy staring at me as she quickly turned back to her work. I smiled, realizing it must be her. I erased my words and Cerenbus' and scribbled down 'no! I really like you!' then I crumbled it and tossed it at her.

She caught it, then, reading it, her face lit up and she scribbled a reply. I caught it when she threw it.

**Her: I'm glad, it's just… we haven't talked in a while…**

**Me: Maybe we can talk some more later? In the common room?**

**Her: I'd like that**

**Me: :)**

We kept writing back and forth throughout the lesson, and, blessedly, didn't get caught. By the end of the day, I was feeling pretty good, because every time we passed each other in the halls, we would press crumpled notes into the other's hand, or when we were in the same class, we'd spend time handing notes back and forth.

I smiled and sat down next to her in the common room during free time. Everyone was hanging out and messing around. "Hey." She smiled.

"Hey." I smiled back. The silence was awkward. We had talked about so much in the notes, I had no idea what to talk about to her face.

"So… you like… um, Quidditch?" I asked.

"Yeah, I like watching it. Dangerous sport though, I'd never play it." She told me. I nodded. Made sense. We started talking casually, and I noticed with increasing impatience that our faces were slowly getting closer… and closer.

By this point we were talking barely above a whisper. I closed my eyes and was about to lean in when I was grabbed and yanked to my feet. My eyes flew open to see Cerenbus with his hands firmly on my shoulders. "Bloody idiot! What do you want?" I cried, yanking free of his grip and fixing my robe as it was about to slide off my shoulders.

"We need to talk." He said seriously.

"Can't it have waited like, another minute?" I cried, frustrated.

"No." He said firmly, staring at me with his livid black eyes. I turned to Pansy, who was glaring at us both.

"Sorry." I murmured.

"Fine, see you later Draco… and, Draco's friend." She smiled, though I could tell she was as upset as I was. I stared after her as she walked away.

"Cerenbus! How could you do that? Have you no soul?" I hissed. He stared at me blankly for a moment, seriously considering that. I stared at him, horrified.

He then rolled his eyes. "Sorry I kept you from your first kiss, Malfoy, but I have something I need to talk to you about, it's _important_."

I stared at him, memory flashing behind my eyes. "Fine, but it's _not_ my first kiss." I grumbled, turning away.

"Whatever. I-" He hesitated a moment, and I felt something probing my mind. In a flash I pushed away my thoughts and shielded them from him, realizing he was a Legilimens. It startled me to realize this, as he was as young as I, which was indeed quite young to be into such advanced forms of magic as he seemingly was.

"Don't do that!" I cried, almost childishly as I shoved him away. I was desperate to push my haunting memories away so he couldn't find them, and relieved when he probed me no further at my request, more of, plead. He stared at me for a moment, waiting for me to get my bearings. "What?" I asked, glaring at him.

He parted his lips to speak, but no words came. He turned his head sharply, his black eyes focusing on something I couldn't see. I turned to stare into the middle distance, as he seemingly was too, but saw nothing of interest. "Come, let's speak elsewhere. The walls have ears." He whispered, his face a little too close to mine than I felt was necessary, then he briskly disappeared around a bend.

I sighed and followed him, silently wondering if what he said about the walls were true or not. "Cerenbus?" I asked, peeking around the corner to see where the boy had gone. My eyes widened and I let out a startled cry when a fist clenched around the front of my shirt and yanked me forward.

I stumbled, tripping down the steps, forced to make my feet walk quickly to keep up. "Where are we going? Let go!" I hissed, trying to twist out of his grasp. He let go of my collar and fastened his grip on my wrist, yanking me again to force me to keep up. He finally stopped, using momentum to swing me forward and thrust me into a chair.

I crashed into it, grumbling and moaning slightly when it hurt, then shifting my position so that I was sitting properly, the black-eyed boy standing in front of me, staring down at me with a very serious expression on his face. I stared up at him, wondering what emotions his face might be masking.

"So… what? What do you want?" I finally asked. I looked around when he didn't reply. We were in an empty classroom closet. I felt slightly nervous at the tight space and the fact that I realized the words he'd muttered a moment before had locked the door. I looked back up at him as his eyes bored into me.

"Are you going to stare at me all day?" I asked, standing. He pushed me back down into the chair. Wordlessly, he grabbed my wrist with one hand, and with the other, he slid my sleeve up. I winced at the sight of the horrid purple bruises. By now, they were fading, but they were still there.

Cerenbus' eyes traveled back to my face. I ripped my arm out of his grasp, pulling my sleeve back down to cover the discolored imperfections on my skin. "Who did this to you?" He asked evenly, his voice low, leaving no room for lies or even half-truths. He'd already demonstrated himself to be an effective Legilimens.

I carefully built up a wall in my mind to protect myself from his prying third eye. My aunt had trained me in the arts of Occlumency, to protect me from just this kind of situation. My mother had been fully against the idea of me being trained in such an advanced form of magic at my young age, (I had been nine) being that it had taken me almost two years to get to the point where I could block out a prodding mind. Now, I still wasn't great at the task, but I prided myself in being able to block out my aunt effectively. My father had made it clear that I wasn't allowed to go to school this year if I hadn't mastered the skill. I had been, in his words, barely passable.

"I can't tell you." I replied, forcing myself to meet his gaze. I immediately felt him prodding my mind. I reinforced the mental wall, pushing hard against it like a person would push hard against the door to their home to keep out an invader. I was pushing hard against the door of my mind against Cerenbus, in my eyes, an invader.

"Stop!" I whimpered, clutching at the armrests so hard my knuckles turned white…. Well, whit_er._

I began to feel my mental wall crumbling under his intense stare. "Stop!" I shrieked as I felt him breach it. My eyes flashed open and I stared ahead, panting and very much shaken.

He stopped and I fell back in my chair, panting. He was a stronger Legilimens than my aunt! "Please just tell me, it will make this easier." He asked me gently, resting a cold hand on my own.

I ripped my hand away, glaring at him. "It's none of your business!" I growled, straightening in my seat, then standing up. He pushed me back down.

"It is my responsibility to find out what's wrong!" He told me.

"Nothing is wrong!" Even I didn't believe that desperate lie. He narrowed his eyes, as I had not yet replaced the mental wall. Before I could even think to, he delved into my mind again.

I hated him for the memories I was forced to replay in my mind while he watched them.

_I was smiling brightly, a little boy of only about five. I was walking hand in hand with my mother and father. We were smiling and laughing. I shrieked with delight as they picked me off my feet and swung them between them._

The memory shifted.

_"Liar! Liar! You little brat! Get back here!"_

It flashed to another memory.

_I was standing in a room, then I looked up to see my father walking in. "Draco. This is your new teacher. He will… break you. As I don't have the time or patients for your mischief." I was staring up as my father stepped aside to reveal a frightening looking man. The focus zoomed in on his cold, grey eyes._

The memory flashed again and a new one popped up.

_I screamed silently in pain, feeling a sharp biting in my backside as my new teacher 'broke me' as my father put it. I had no idea what he was doing, all I could remember was the pain._

The memory changed slightly, but it was still with my teacher.

_He was forcing his lips on mine as I struggled wildly for him to let go, but his grip only tightened on my body. Mad panic surged through my body as he continued, and I kicked wildly at him. My father never came, never stopped him, never even noticed…_

The memory changed again.

_"Useless!" I felt a sharp sting as my father's staff collided sharply with my bony shoulder, the same memory that had flashed behind my eyes that night we were staying up late in the Slytherin common room when Blaise had playfully punched my arm. _

_"I'm sorry!" I begged, scrambling backwards, covering my face as tears streamed down my face. _

_"NO! Lucius, leave him alone!" my mother's voice shrieked, jumping to grab me. _

_"Get out of the way, woman!" He growled. _

_"He's just a child!"_

The memory flashed and changed again.

_"No! Stop! Let me rest!" I begged my aunt as she dug into my mind, trying to force me to learn the art of Occlumency. _

_"No! Your father will only hurt us both if you don't learn by the start of your year at Hogwarts!" Her shrieking, demented voice screamed at me. _

_"But Hogwarts isn't for another two years…."_

My voice faded and swirled until a new memory appeared.

_"…and if you don't return with perfect grades, there _will _be consequences." My father's harsh voice was warning in a quiet tone. The bright smile he wore only to not raise the suspicions of passer-by's did nothing to stop the tremble in my voice as I replied._

_"Yes father." I had replied meekly. He just stared down at me with his cold grey eyes and the joyless smile. My mother sighed and crouched down in front of me in the train station. She smiled, putting a hand to my cheek. _

_"You can do this baby. I have faith in you. Don't do anything to implore your father's wrath." She whispered, hugging me gently. My face twisted in pain, as there were still fresh bruises hidden beneath my upper-class clothing._

I'd had enough. I forced my mental wall back up, glaring at him as he stared down at me with a shocked expression. "Those are private!" I cried, feeling my tears building up and little beads of sweat dripping down my forehead. He came closer.

"Not to me." He whispered, right in my ear. I felt myself go numb, chilled to the bone by his words.

I felt the skin on my cheek burn from the closeness of his face to mine. His cheek brushed mine as he pulled back and the burn immediately turned into a sharp stab of ice.

Wordlessly, he helped me to my feet and gently pushed me out of the closet after unlocking it. He then pushed me all the way back to the Slytherin common room. I allowed him to guide me, walking as if in a trance, not noticing things until suddenly, I was sitting in the common room and he was sitting next to me.

I faded out again, just trying to push away the memories that had been forced to the surface due to Cerenbus' adamant digging. I blacked out.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I stared at a young boy with white hair and pallid skin. He looked like a seraph from heaven on high, but his world was drowning to the essence in the shadows of hell down below, dripping with bitterness and regret. As I stared at him; all I saw was a broken child who laughed at others before they could laugh at him, who would tell them they are worthless so that for a moment he might believe he wasn't.

What I saw before me was not a spoiled child, but indeed a lost one who wanted so desperately to be found and pulled out of the darkness in his own soul. I knew I could save him! If only he'd let me. I knew even as I stretched out untiring hands, the gradually cracking glass of his soul would shatter, and refuse to be comforted or pieced back together.

I knew I went too far by forcibly reading his mind, but I had to know what was going on there, because I knew there was no way in the near future that he would ever have revealed any of the things to me that I had found out in those meager seconds.

And I knew, as soon as he broke out of the trance, he would be angry with me. The trance he seemed to be in as he tried to overcome the weakness at being forced to come to terms with haunting memories he was content to leave as such –memories. But no good could come from burying them. They needed to be dug out and disposed of before they became too deeply embedded in his soul.

I knew I could help him, but I also knew he didn't trust me. Not at all. I had to change that. I had to let him know I could be trusted. Then, and only then could I help him overcome the lies he kept telling himself to make it easier to lie to others.

He kept telling himself that it would be fine, that he was indeed the spoiled child everyone made him out to be instead of asking for the help he so desperately needed and so obviously desired. _He was destroying everything for a lie, for a future that seemed so perfect. He was trying to make a heaven for himself, when really all he was creating was a hell in his own mind as conflict took place._

He kept digging a hole that he couldn't get out of, deeper and deeper below the surface to find that there was nothing there. Where should he go from there? He kept begging silently for someone, anyone to give him something that he could feel other than pain. I felt I could do that, I could! I just didn't know how.

I retreated from my thoughts as I noticed Draco had fallen asleep, his head resting lightly on my shoulder. I moved him so he would be comfortable, then opened my book and pretended to read while I was still pondering the difficult situation forming from the murky depths of my friend's fragile soul.

**AN: I hope you enjoyed! Please review? I really need to know if you guys are enjoying this! I'm doing this to please you guys, the least you can do is let me know if my work is paying off! Please review with praise, criticism, ideas, anything! Okay, just to let you know, this story isn't entirely cannon! Okay? There are deviations from the main plot of the original books/movies.**


	11. Year 1: Chapter 11

**Chapter eleven:**

**Desperate for warmth**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I woke sometime later, and I was laying on one of the leather couches in the Slytherin common room. I felt something warm and cozy pressed against my back, and for a while, I was reluctant to move. I rolled over, snuggling deeper into the comforting warmth.

I drifted slowly into sleep again, dreaming that I was in my mother's arms, and that she was holding me gently and keeping me safe. I even could swear I felt her lips against my forehead. After a while, I woke up again. I made a small sound of annoyance. I just wanted to sleep. I snuggled closer to the warmth again.

However, when I felt the thing move beside me, I felt like I needed to know who I was snuggling with. I opened my eyes to see who it was, thinking it may be Pansy. I had my face nuzzled warmly into her neck, and her dark hair brushed softly over my cheek. I pulled back slightly to look at her face. My excited smile faded into horror when I realize it wasn't Pansy, it was in fact, Falin! And we were snuggling, ashen face to ashen face, our noses inches apart, our bodies pressed together. EWWW! A disgusted look took over my face as I pulled away from him, shooting off the couch, falling to the floor in my haste to get away from him.

I jumped up, forcing a shudder through my body as I shook myself out of the thought of having slept so close to him.

He hadn't seemed to have been awoken by my hustled moving, and I didn't intend on waking him. I made a face, brushing myself off as I strode around the dark room, pretending it had never happened. It seemed to be night, as no one else was in there. I scratched my head thoughtfully, wondering why no one had woken us to get us to move to the dormitory.

I sighed, sitting down on the couch across from the one Falin was still on. I sat there, my legs dangling from the side as I watched him sleep. I noted with an involuntary shudder, that, even though he was asleep, he seemed to still be watching me. I squirmed in the seat, not liking the feeling. I saw my breath form a cloud in front of me and I shivered again.

I looked away from him, letting my mind go blank for a little while. Not thinking seemed to help me relax. I sighed quietly, letting my mind wander again. My eyes fixed back on Falin, and it took me a moment to realize his eyes were wide open and he was staring back at me.

I jumped slightly, trying to shrink into the couch as he sat up and stretched slightly. He yawned, a cloud forming in front of his face as he breathed, and looked around, his gaze resting on me once again. "What time is it?" he asked, his voice thick with sleep. I shook my head rapidly, not knowing. A curtain of jet black hair covered his face as he looked down at his timepiece.

"It's five thirty. We'll be getting back up in a couple hours, we should go to bed." He murmured, laying back down.

"But, the dormitory-"

He cut me off. "Locked. I already tried going up there last night, they'd already locked the doors." He murmured, using an arm as a pillow.

I sighed, stretching out on the cold leather couch, just realizing why Falin had preferred sleeping next to my warm body. The dungeon walls seemed to suck all the warmth out of the room.

After a while of tossing and turning, shivering and teeth chattering, I sat up, looking around. But of course, no blankets could be found. I stared over at Falin, who seemed to be unbothered by the frigid room. I drew my knees to my chest in an attempt to warm myself. It helped, but not much.

"F-Falin?" I chattered.

"Mm?" Good, he was still awake.

"How can you s-stand the c-cold?" I whimpered. He sat up, staring at me in the darkness.

I saw his shoulders lift in a shrug. "Doesn't bother me. I'm used to it I guess." He murmured, a cloud forming from his breath. I heard his quiet reply perfectly in the silence of the room.

Falin sighed, watching me shiver. "That's why I didn't sleep on the other couch last night, you wouldn't stop shivering and there's no blankets in here." He told me quietly.

I just nodded, rocking back and forth slightly. "W-why's it s-so cold in-n here?" I asked.

"They don't bother heating the common rooms at night." He replied. "What about the firep-place?" I stuttered.

"No firewood. I already tried lighting what's in there, but it's already burnt out from yesterday." He sighed. "Just go back to sleep. Morning will be here soon." He laid back down. I nodded, laying back down too, my knees still drawn to my chest. I felt my fingers freezing, and my face was numb.

After a few minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. Dignity be damned. I needed some warmth.

I stood and made my way over to his couch. Wordlessly, I slid in front, facing away from him. He seemed to silently know what I needed and accommodated me willingly, scooting back to give me room.

Trying to be as not-awkward as possible, I sub-consciously slid closer to his warm body. He seemed okay with it. I sighed in relief, already feeling the warmth flowing through me again. After a few minutes of surprisingly comfortable, not-at-all awkward silence, I had stopped shivering and was able to fall back to sleep.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I woke to the sound of bustling. I opened my steely black eyes to see that my face was buried in soft, flaxen locks of hair. I blinked, moving my head back slightly and spitting some of the hair out of my mouth. I looked around to see that it was morning and the Slytherin students were leaving for breakfast.

Fortunately, the portrait was on the other side of the room, and none of them seemed to notice two sleeping boys, snuggled together for warmth on the leather couches in the common room.

I sat up once they'd all gone. I found that my arm was draped over Draco. I pulled it up so my hand was on his shoulder and shook him carefully.

"Mm." He mumbled, not waking, but instead, moving closer to me.

"Malfoy." I murmured, shaking him again. "Wake up, it's morning." I tried again.

Instead of waking, he rolled over so that he was facing me and pulled me closer, snuggling his face into my chest. I made a face, pushing against him. "Draco!" I hissed, squirming in his grasp.

"Shut up, I'm tired." He murmured, half-awake. I sighed, then slapped his cheek, not hard enough for it to hurt, but hard enough to wake him. His eyes flew open. He stared at me, eyes wide. "Ah!" He cried, pushing away from me with such force he landed on the floor.

I laughed, standing up. "Time to wake up, snuggle-bunny. It's morning." I teased, fixing my disheveled robes. I bent forward, offering him my hand. He took it, letting me help him stand.

"My bottom hurts." He grumbled, rubbing at it.

"It should, you hit the floor pretty hard." I laughed. "Come on, we're going to miss breakfast." I told him, sliding past him and heading for the exit.

"You mean we're going out there?" He asked. I turned and stared at him, then nodded once. "Looking like this?" He gestured our appearances, coming up to stand in front of me.

I gave him a half-smile. "We look like a couple of rebellious children, but that's what half the school looks like, isn't it? It'll be fine." I told him.

"Oh no, I'm at least brushing my hair… and, and changing these clothes…" He looked down at them.

I sighed. "Fine, but hurry up." We headed up to the dorms and I hurriedly changed since he was too.

"Hurry up!" I urged him, brushing my hair for good measure since he was taking so long. "Honestly, you take as long as a girl." I muttered.

"I'm ready! I'm ready." He huffed, pulling a clean robe on.

"Come on." We ran all the way to the great hall, just in time to grab some roles of bread and apples. But it was more than I usually ate at breakfast.

"Okay, so, we have… potions, then… transfiguration class. Charms, and… herbology. Then, D.A.D.A, and after that… History of Magic, then… Astronomy." I listed from memory, taking a bite of my apple as we headed down the hall. He nodded, munching on his bread roll. "Come on, father dislikes it when we're late." We headed for the potions classroom, arriving just as father did.

We took our seats, having double potions, and everyone was already paired up. We opened our books to the page father growled out.

I could tell, just by the waves of nervousness rolling from his mind, that Draco was apprehensive about returning to potions for the first time since he was poisoned. He had been allowed free time the past few weeks during potions since he was too frightened to take it. I nudged him gently with my elbow and offered him a comforting smile when he looked at me. He stared at me for a moment, then smiled back.

I kept a good eye on him throughout the class, making sure he didn't use the wrong potions and making sure none of them spilled or anything. We both got out of class that day, completely unscathed. I smiled as we headed for transfiguration. "Thanks for not poisoning me." I teased. He glared at me and I just laughed. I could tell he was fighting back laughter too.

I finally got him to laugh with me after a few teasing pokes, and we laughed together all the way to transfiguration class.

By the end of the day, I felt, or hoped rather that we had grown closer. I felt the trust building. I needed him to trust me, or else I couldn't help him. "Okay, tonight, let's not get locked out okay? As much as I loved using you as a blanket," He rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his every word. "I really don't want to do that again."

I nodded, agreeing. From that point on, it was as though a silent agreement were passed between us, that we would never speak of that night again. Even though it had simply been the innocence of two friends keeping each other from freezing, it had still been incredibly awkward.

**AN: **


	12. Year 1: Chapter 12

**Chapter twelve:**

**Laughter, tears, and moments of bonding**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"BOO!" I cried, jumping out and startling my victim. "Happy Halloween!" I shrieked, diving at them and putting them in a headlock.

"Ah! Okay! You got me!" Falin cried, tapping out as I mercilessly tickled my best friend.

It had been a little over a month, and ever since that night, when we'd looked out for each other, we'd been inseparable, like those Weasley twins, only fifty times more annoying. "I'm gonna get you for that!" Falin cried, chasing me around the common room. We ducked under two guys that were having a playfight, dove over a boy and girl who were making out on the floor and looks two seconds away from taking it to the dorm, and wove around some others who were standing and talking peacefully.

"Whoa! You guys sure are rowdy tonight! How much candy did you eat?" Blaise cried, catching up with us. Falin had finally tackled me and we were laying on the floor, laughing so hard we were clutching our sides. Blaise tripped, falling over us and only making us laugh harder as he scrambled to plop down next to us and failing miserably.

Every time he tried to scramble up, he'd slip and fall over our laps again and we'd start laughing harder. Finally, unable to take any more laughter without bursting, Falin and I shoved him and he rolled off of us, grumbling and lying still because he'd worn himself out.

I wiped my eyes, throwing an arm over Falin's shoulders and leaning on him as he did the same. I smiled, feeling great to have such amazing friends to laugh so hard with. It was an amazing feeling. One I can't say I've ever felt before the start of this year.

Since that day in the classroom closet, I had been unwilling to talk about my feelings, and grateful that Falin didn't push me to do so. But I felt that the time was coming, when soon, I'd start talking to him about it. The feeling that I could trust him with anything had gradually been growing, and I was desperate to talk to him about my problems, but to be truthful, I was terrified.

I knew he already knew about some of the things going on in my life, but he still didn't know how I personally felt about them. And I was desperate to seek his help. I decided that sometime soon, would be a better time than any.

"Get up, you lazy fat lump." I laughed, poking Blaise in the side with my foot. He flinched, seemingly very ticklish. Falin and I turned to each other, thinking the same thing as mischievous smiles spread across our faces. "Attack!" We cried at the same time, diving at Blaise and tickling him.

"No! AH! Stop! I…" Giggle. "Please!" He was laughing really hard and squirming. We finally stopped. He was laughing so hard he had to gasp for air every few moments. Falin and I laughed and fall back, grinning ear-to-ear, laughing at the sound of Blaise's giggles.

"Silence!" We all sat up, catching our breaths as the room went silent, other than Blaise' muffled giggles, all eyes turning to face professor Snape.

"Headmaster Dumbledore has announced that curfew, for this night only, I might add, has been moved to eleven o'clock-" The words were barely out of his mouth before the room erupted in cheers.

Snape, having nothing more to say, went out, leaving the prefects to make sure nothing got out of hand.

"Yes! We get so stay up late!" Blaise cried, having finally stopped laughing.

I smiled, then put my hands to my face and massaged my cheeks. "What are you doing that for?" Falin laughed.

"My face isn't used to smiling so much, it hurts." I laughed. He nodded, laughing along with me.

…

Regardless of the bedtime being moved to eleven, we didn't make it past ten, we were so tired. We fell asleep on the floor, right where we'd been when we had the laughing fit. Fortunately, someone found us that time and carried us to our beds. Who, however, remained a mystery for some time.

We woke up the next day, hours after we were supposed to wake up, but, fortunately, it was a Saturday, and practically everyone was sleeping in.

That day in particular, I felt more drawn to talk with Falin, but we'd been having such a good time together during the fun times, I wasn't sure how I'd be able to cope with sudden seriousness. But I had to get some stuff off my chest, so, right after we both woke up, I pulled him aside and asked him if we could talk.

"Sure." He replied smiling. We went to that same empty classroom closet we had last time, when Falin had read my memories.

He smiled, pulling up a chair and sitting in it. I shifted uncomfortably in my own chair, wondering where to begin. "W-well, you see…" I swallowed. "I-its just… I…" I scratched the back of my neck.

"Take your time." He told me. I nodded, thinking. I finally decided I should start from the beginning.

"Okay, so… for the first… four or five years of my life… everything was perfect." I stared past Falin, past the wall, past everything that was surrounding me and staring into my history.

"Then suddenly, sometime when I was five, maybe six, my father started getting... I don't know…" I searched for the right word. "Stressed?" I looked to him to make sure he was following me so far. He nodded. "He just, seemed to be so frustrated. My parents started, arguing. All the time. But I was too little to understand what it was really." I shrugged, shaking my head.

"There, was this boy, who used to live with us. I don't remember his name, might have been Malcolm or something like that. Anyway, my aunt was mean to him, and so… he would come to me, and I would let him hide in my closet. And… one day, my aunt, or… I think it was her husband? Came into my room and found him. She was furious. And, she… made my dad punish me." I swallowed hard.

"After that, he seemed to, loose his frustration on me. At first, he would just slap me, or, shove me over. But… as the months passed, he got more and more violent." I whispered, with a distant look, my eyes glistening with the ghost of my past. I felt Falin's reassuring squeeze on my hands and I continued.

"When I was eight, it just got worse. He would scream at me and break things." I shook my head sadly. "Now, I think I need to tell you about a few things about my father." I began.

"My father will hear about this." I chuckled humorlessly. "–That is what I say whenever I am hurt, humiliated, or offended in any way. Another way to put it, I say that a lot. In most cases, whatever happened I considered worth getting my father involved in, never actually reaches his ears. Few times do I ever actually relay to him what happens in my everyday life. Mostly, because I'm… terrified, of the disappointed scowl he would give me." I whispered.

"If he were upset, he would glare at me; then give me the silent treatment for a few days. If he was mad, he would hit me with his cane; then take away my right to eat for the rest of the day. If I humiliated him, or our family name in any way, he would hit me several times with anything within arm's reach, -which, upon one occasion involved a slab of glass which he slapped me over the head with, only realizing that it was glass after it shattered and cut me badly." I winced at the memory, drawing a hand over my scalp, where several scars were concealed behind my hair.

"If he were all of the above, he would hit me with anything he could get his hands on, yell at me about the importance of perfection, starve me for a week, and not talk to me for a month, and on the occasion he did speak to me, he would just yell." I felt tears forming in my eyes as my voice cracked. Falin, by now, had moved to sit next to me in the overly large seat and was rubbing my back gently.

"So you see, telling my father about my own humiliations would do me no good. I just, say it because… most people are intimidated by my father, and telling them, that I would tell him what they did, was my way of getting back at them, whether their insolence ever reached his ears or not." I sputtered, feeling tears sting my eyes as they rolled down my cheeks.

"A-and it's been like this for years. When… when I was nine, father had my aunt teach me Occlumency so I could come here. So that if anyone tried to read my mind, they wouldn't be able to find out about what… what he does to me." I whispered that last part. I squeezed my eyes shut, just sitting there silently, tears falling for a while.

I took a deep breath. "When… I was seven, almost eight… father got me…. a, a t-teacher…" I slurred out the last part, barely able to roll it off my tongue. I felt Falin stiffen beside me, remembering the memories. He just continued rubbing my back carefully, not urging me on or slowing me down in any way, just letting me take my own time and tell him at my own pace.

I opened my mouth, trying to force the words out as the tears kept raining down like shattered pieces of glass from the sky that was my eyes. I swallowed hard. "A-at first, all he was, was scary. He didn't touch me in any way. Bu- th-the..n..n… he… he…" I swallowed, feeling a lump rise in my throat.

"He started, telling me that… that, I was getting a lot of things wrong, in what he was teaching me. And… the things... he was teaching me. I-I d-didn't agree with them. None of them had much to do with anything I'd be learning here at Hogwarts." I murmured. "He started punishing me every time I got s-something wrong." I was shaking now.

"But he wouldn't punish me by hitting me. No, I could have handled that. I was used to the pain." I shook my head, swallowing. "He… well he…" I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. "he…." I made a face, then turned to Falin, who was sitting silently, staring at the floor, listening.

He looked up at me, his black eyes, the same eyes I had used to feel held contempt, were now swimming with compassion and sincere concern.

I hesitated, then cupped my hands, moving to whisper to him the word that was sticking in my throat. He leaned over to allow me to whisper to him and I felt myself shatter as the word passed my dry lips. I felt him go rigid. I looked down, ashamed. Hot tears pooled from my eyes and I felt my throat constrict.

"Shh, it's okay." Falin murmured.

I sobbed, leaning on him. "I just want to make my father proud!" I wailed.

"I know, I know. It's okay." He whispered, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I sobbed, putting my arms around his waist and crying into his chest like I had done so many nights with my mother, after the beatings had been brutal.

"I-I just… w-wanted him…m, t-to notice th-that he was hurting me!" I cried. I felt him stoking the back of my head in a comforting manner, reminding me of my mother once again. It calmed me somewhat.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I felt my heart break for the poor boy as he wept bitterly into my chest. I whispered nonsense to him softly, hoping to calm him. After a while, he stopped crying, but instead, his body rocked with every breath he drew in to calm himself. I found it easy to hold the small boy in my arms, and felt as though he were smaller than he should be at his age.

I made it a point to ask him about it, but later. When he was calmed down. A lot.

After a while, he pulled back sheepishly, wiping his eyes on his sleeves. He smiled at me sadly, hiccupping. I smiled back, squeezing his small hand in my own. "I'm glad you told me all this." I began gently. "It's helped me to understand some of what you have to go through. But… I feel like there are still things you aren't telling me." I felt him stiffen beside me, and I continued on quickly.

"But you don't have to tell me now, I just… hope you trust me enough to let me help you with them later, okay?" I stared at him carefully, gently rubbing my thumbs over his tiny hand. He nodded slowly, rubbing his free hand over his face. I smiled gently. "Okay." We sat there for a while, hugging each other, lost in thought.

It must have been a good ten minutes before either of us moved. To ease the tension of the seriousness of the moment we had just shared, I smiled. "You remember how hard Zabini was laughing yesterday?" I asked, chuckling. Draco, despite the fresh tears still rolling gently down his cheeks, let out a short, but hearty laugh.

I chuckled again and he started giggling. Soon, we were both rolling around in the chair, laughing. We sat up, smiling broadly. I stared at him, smiling at the color in his cheeks. His eyes were still red from crying, but they had a spark of laughter to them, and he all in all, looked genuinely joyful. It made me smile all the more.

I laughed, squeezing his hand. "Come on, let's go get something to eat."

**AN: So their friendship is growing, isn't it wonderful? Can you please review? I desperate! I need to know what you think! :"(**


	13. Year 1: Chapter 13

**Chapter thirteen:**

**Temperies **

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I felt Falin's eyes on me throughout breakfast, and I felt compelled to eat more than I felt was necessary, to avoid questions I knew would be coming regardless of how much or little I ate.

I was underweight, painfully so, and Falin knew it. And I knew, that he was determined to find out why, and how much underweight I was. I personally wasn't the type to jump on a scale and care what the meter pointed to. It was just a number to me. And it wasn't about the number. It was about the control. Eating or not eating. It was my choice, and no one could make me choose either.

It wasn't as though I felt I was fat either. I could actually care less about my weight. But I often chose not to eat over eating because it was vastly frowned upon, and it was one point of rebellion in my house that I was allowed to get away with. It wasn't as though my father begged me to eat, or forced me to. Often times, not eating was a punishment. To me, it wasn't much of one, because I was used to not eating.

I chewed slowly and solemnly, breaking pieces off my food and eating them slowly, feeling Falin's eyes on me the whole time. I knew he was counting every bite I took, every second of how long it took me to eat so little. It didn't bother me, but I knew he'd bring it up later.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

My suspicions were confirmed when I noticed that Draco didn't eat much at breakfast. I watched him as he broke little pieces off and spent a good time chewing on them. I know he saw me watching him, but he chose to ignore it.

I chewed solemnly on my food, thinking of why he wasn't eating. I remembered that something like this had happened to me before, but I had never let it interfere with my weight. I had never been so vastly underweight as Draco obviously was. To the casual onlooker, he seemed a perfectly healthy boy, who just happened to be thin boned.

But I wasn't a casual onlooker. And besides. Draco and I had wrestled once or twice in the extent of our friendship. I had noticed then what his suspiciously thick clothing covered.

I have to admit, before my sudden interest in the boy, I had paid little to no attention to his eating habits. But then, at that moment as I sat watching him barely touch a thing on his plate, I realized just why he was so thin.

I made a resolve to ask him about it later, but we had just had a bonding moment, and it was still fragile, I didn't want to do anything to cause it to shatter.

"Hey Draco." I nudged him. He had been staring blankly at the remaining food on his plate.

He looked up and forced a smile. "Yeah?"

I grinned. "Did you try the pumpkin bread? It's delicious." I told him, carefully watching his reaction.

"Oh, yeah, it's great." He smiled at me and I knew at once he was lying. Not just because I had not once seen a piece of the golden orange bread enter his mouth, and not even just because I was skilled in the art of Legilimency. But also because of careful scrutiny of his subtle body language.

I had a practiced eye, and I watched him carefully as he had answered me. When he had said 'oh' he had appeared overly casual, as if trying desperately for me to believe him. As he had said, 'yeah, it's great' he had faked a smile and his eyes had shifted slightly to the left, which meant deceit. The right side of the brain holds the creative thinking process. Which includes lying; creatively making up stories from the top of your head that don't exist. And I noticed that.

I merely nodded, smiling as though I agreed with what he said, and turned back to my food. "You going to eat that?" I asked casually, pointing to the uneaten food on his plate.

"Um, yeah. I'm just, waiting to see if I still have room." Another lie. I nodded again, going back to eating. I would ask him about it later.

Draco and I spent the day together, teasing the girls, pranking Crabbe and Goyle, and having a good time.

"What special magical abilities do you have?" Draco suddenly asked when we were walking around the courtyard in front of the school, dodging students as they chased each other.

"Well, you already know I'm exceptionally advanced in healing." I offered, leaning against a stone pillar. He nodded.

"And Legilimency." He added.

"Yes, my father taught it to me. He said I didn't need the extra training, I was born with it." I agreed. "I want to be an Animagi, but father told me I had to wait until I'm older." I told him.

He nodded.

"I can summon a patronus. Most wizards my age can't do that." I said, rather proud of myself.

"Really? That's awesome!" He sounded rather jealous.

I nodded. "I've been studying Parceltongue. Father says it would be wise to learn it, but it's all gibberish to me." I rolled my eyes. "I inherited the ability of flight without a broom or carpet from my father. It's great."

Draco looked jealous again. "No way." He said.

"Way!"

"Prove it!" He challenged. I smiled, grabbing his hand and taking flight. "WHOA! Put me down!" He cried, latching onto me. I laughed, doing a loop in the air, then setting back down.

He stumbled, eyes wide. "Whoa…" He murmured.

I laughed again, leaning on the pillar I had been leaning on moments before. "I want to be a Seer, but every time I try to predict something, it feels like the opposite happens." I laughed, and he did too, mainly out of relief that there was finally something I couldn't do. "Father says that one of my special abilities is that I have so many special abilities." I laughed. "Father also trained me in Occlumency. The art it seems you're good at." I saw him blush at the compliment. "Father is just now starting to teach me Apparition and Disapparition. I've almost mastered it, but I'm forbidden to use it until he says I'm ready. I've splinched myself way too many times for him to allow me to try it on my own for a while." I laughed.

Draco's eyes widened. "Really? What body parts have you lost?" He cried.

I laughed at that. "Umm, I lost part of my arm once, and, I nearly cut myself in half another time." I told him.

"Wicked." He breathed, making me laugh again.

"What about you?" I asked.

"I'm… good at Occlumency." He murmured.

I nodded. "And… umm… I am skilled in potions making." He added.

"Yes, I noticed you have exceptional grades in that class." I praised, making him smile self-consciously.

"Thanks." He looked away, watching a group of kids horsing around. He suddenly turned to me. "What's your father like?" He asked, almost desperately.

I stared at him blankly for a moment, then shrugged helplessly. "I… suppose he's just… average. He's not a wonderful father, as he's had to raise me on his own… but… he's okay... I guess. He's strict. And, sometimes I feel like he doesn't care enough. But… he tries."

Draco nodded slowly. "Father has tried before too, but… he lets his temper control him." He sighed sadly.

I nodded. "Now there's something our father's have in common. They both lose their tempers easily. Father has never purposely hit me, but in the wake of his anger, he has on occasion. But, he always apologizes afterwards." I said quietly, staring ahead.

"That's where my father draws the line. He's too proud to apologize. No matter what." Draco murmured, looking downcast.

I smiled sadly and put my arm over his shoulders in a brotherly sort of way. "Things are bound to get better." I promised, whispering it close to his ear so only he could hear it. I felt him shiver, and laughed mentally. "Ah. Another special magical ability I forgot to tell you about. I am also a Temperies. It means I can withstand any kind of cold weather. That's why I wasn't cold down in the dungeon. That's why my body is always so cold, and that's also why my blood burned your skin. It's a rare gift, no one I know of has it, not even my father." I told him.

He stared at me, raising a hand to gently stroke the side of his cheek, where the fading mark was nothing more than a slightly lighter color than his skin. It was hardly noticeable anymore. "Here, feel my hand." I offered it as an example. He took it and I shook his hand firmly, smiling. "Nice to meet you." I laughed when his eyes grew wide.

"AH!" He pulled his hand back and began frantically blowing on it and rubbing it. "Bloody hell, what are you trying to do, freeze my bloody hand off?!" He cried.

I laughed again. "Not at all." I told him, looking smug. "I, at times can't control the temperature of my skin, but it's always cold. It sometimes changes with my mood, or if I'm sick."

He made a face, still rubbing his hand. "What kind of mood are you in now, to make your hand so bloody freezing?" He grumbled, blowing on it again.

"Father says he thinks every witch and wizard is born with a special ability, or gift, that no other witch or wizard shares. I wonder what yours is."

**AN: I'm not sure if Falin's special magical ability is an actual thing in the wizarding world? But I thought it sounded cool, and besides, Falin's a mysterious boy with mysterious abilities. :) Review please with idea's for Draco's hidden magical ability? **


	14. Year 1: Chapter 14

**Chapter fourteen:**

**Beatings, lies and nicknames**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

Falin and I walked silently back to the common rooms. We were both too tired to go to dinner, even though Falin desperately tried to say I could go without him. When I refused, he said he could go with me, just to pick up a snack, but, again, I refused, telling him we both could use a good night sleep.

"Night." I murmured, facing his bed, which was next to mine.

"Good night, Draco." He replied tiredly.

I woke, hours later to a strange sound. I flashed my eyes open in the darkness and looked around. The dorm was dark and silent. And then, there was that sound again. I moved slightly, looking around without drawing attention to myself. I suddenly noticed a dark shape looming over Falin's bed.

I stiffened, suddenly fearing for my best friend's safety. I heard quiet murmuring, then a groggy whisper that sounded like Falin. I felt my heart beating rapidly when Falin was yanked off the bed and forced to stumble quietly after the dark shape. My eyes followed them, and I swear I saw Falin's eyes on me, but it was so dark, I couldn't be sure.

As soon as I heard the door swing closed, I jumped out of bed, throwing my robe on and running out. I opened the door and peeked out, my eyes scanning the common room. I saw two shadows disappearing around the bend. I quickly followed them, my heart beating rapidly and my breath rasping in my throat.

I swallowed hard, peeking around the corner just in time to see Falin being yanked through the portrait. I followed quickly, stopping and counting to ten before following them out. My heart was thumping so hard against my chest now, I just knew that every painting in the school could hear it.

I looked both ways down the hall to see which way they'd gone. Swallowing repeatedly, I followed them. I heard a hushed argument from down the hall, and noticed the gentle glow of a lit up wand. I followed it carefully.

I stopped and peeked around the corner to see that their backs were turned. A door was being opened and Falin was dragged inside, very much reluctant. I swear I heard him whimpering and saying, 'please… please no!'

The door closed heavily, but not loudly. I swallowed hard, no longer sure what to do. I crept quietly up to the door and listened. The door was thick, so all I heard were muffled shouts and thumps. I swallowed, feeling very shaken. What could I do? I looked around the dark hall desperately, then dove under an ancient bench that was just outside the room. I would wait until Falin or the dark person came out.

I'd wait all night if I had to.

…several hours later…

I woke to the sound of a heavy door being pushed open. I blinked open my eyes rapidly, moving my neck to peer out from under the bench. I winced, incredibly stiff from camping out on the cold stone floor all night. I watched as a small figure pushed hard against the door, barely able to push it open enough for them to stumble out of it.

Falin. I knew it had to be Falin. He hauled desperately on the heavy door, scuttling forward when it dragged him with it. He had, I suppose, tried to keep it from slamming. He panted, bending over to catch his breath, then stumbled forward, limping badly.

As soon as he rounded the bend, I shot out from under the bench, limping from the cramps. I pulled my hood up to hide my bright hair, it would stand out in the darkness. I froze when I heard the heavy door creak behind me. I began limping forward rapidly only to be stopped by a heavy hand on my shoulder.

I gasped, my heart thumping wildly in my chest. "Go to bed, Falin." Snape's voice told me right behind my ear. I nodded my head rapidly, and the heavy hand lifted. "Go." I was shoved forward roughly and I stumbled to the floor. I scrambled to my feet and took off in the direction of the dungeons. I spoke the password quickly and went inside.

I ran smack dab into someone as I raced through the common room. There was a muffled cry and a thump as we both hit the floor. I heard a pained groan. I scrambled to my feet and pulled Falin to his.

"I thought you said your father didn't beat you?!" I hissed.

"Get down!" He growled, bowling me over. I let out a muffled yelp and I felt his icy hand clamp firmly over my mouth. The breath was knocked out of me as we hit the floor and his body landed fully on top of mine. I growled, flailing wildly, but he weighed more than I did, and his body effectively held me down.

I froze, my heart thumping wildly in my chest when I heard the familiar gentle creak of the portrait as it opened. I caught sight of a dark figure going through the rooms and disappearing up the stairs to the dorms. After he was gone, I let myself relax. "Gn uph." I mumbled under his hand.

"Huh?" He pulled his hand away and I felt heat flooding back into my numb jaw.

"Get off, you're squishing me!" I hissed, pushing weakly at him.

"Sorry." He rolled off and I groaned, my ribs now sore.

"What the bloody hell was that? I thought you said Snape never hit you?!" I hissed, sitting up and staring at him in the darkness. He sighed, scooting so that his back was leaned against the couch. I moved so that I was sitting across from him, leaning on the other couch.

"Well?" I asked expectantly, trying to read his expression in the semi-darkness.

"It's… complicated. Come on, let's go back to bed." I started to protest, but he grabbed my arm and helped me up. I stumbled after him unwillingly. Falin swore under his breath. "What?" I demanded. "The damn door is locked." He hissed, swearing again.

I glared at him, then pulled furiously at the door. It was indeed sealed shut. "I don't get it. It's never been locked before." He murmured, walking away.

"What?" I spun on him. "I thought you said it was locked that other night, you know, the reason we slept out in the cold?" I cried, forgetting to be quiet.

Falin winced visibly. He chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah… about that? We weren't actually locked out…" he began slowly.

"What?" I cried. He leapt forward, clamping a hand firmly over my mouth and dragging me away from the door.

"Mmm! Ln mn gn!" I cried desperately into his hand, reaching up and pulling frantically at the icy fingers.

"Stop yelling!" He begged desperately, letting his hands drop from my face. I gasped in, feeling my face thaw.

"Stop touching me! Your skin is like, a million below freezing!" I hissed.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"About the door, you lied to me?" I hissed, angry.

"I'm sorry! But I saw it as a potential bonding experience. It… actually wasn't my idea, it was my fathers." He sighed.

"Why should I believe you? As far as I know, you could have lied on your own accord!" I accused.

"Why would I do that? Huh? Tell me, why would I, on my own devices, lie and tell you that we had to sleep out here in the cold and be forced to use the same couch so we wouldn't freeze to death, huh?" He hissed right back.

"I don't know." I growled. "But I'll find out." I slumped down on the couch, a cross look on my face.

"Look, I'm sorry. But I wasn't making any progress in being your friend, and, my father wanted me to be, and-"

I cut him off, horrified. "Wait wait, hold up; you only got me to be your friend because your _father _wanted you to be my friend?! Not because _you _wanted to be my friend?" I cried.

"No! No, Draco it's not like that, okay? I wanted to be your friend!" he tried, but it was already too late, I was upset.

"I can't believe it! I spilled my darkest secrets to you! I-I trusted you with my emotions!" I cried, feeling tears of betrayal sting my eyes.

"Draco, please-" he tried.

"NO! Don't call me that, _Cerenbus. _Or should I say,_Snape?"_

He froze, staring at me. "Please…" He breathed, and for the first time ever, I saw red tears streaking down his pale face. I swallowed the lump in my throat, staring at him as he stared at me. We were both distraught. "Draco, listen to me, please!" He begged, desperately grasping my hands in his own.

I recoiled from his touch at first. It wasn't the ice cold I normally felt. His hands were clammy and almost a normal temperature. I remembered him telling me his skin changed temperature with his mood. I stared up at his desperate face, as his tears streamed down, then felt of his hands again.

"Draco, I…." He hung his head. "You're my best friend." He whispered. "The first one I've ever had. I… I don't, I don't want to lose you." He whispered. I swallowed hard, feeling my own tears still streaming.

"I don't want to lose you either." I began slowly. "But why did you lie to me?"

I felt his warm grip tighten sub-consciously over my hands. "It was my father's idea. I didn't want to lie to you… but." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I wasn't making any progress in getting you to trust me. And… being 'forced' to help each other out, keeping each other safe and warm… was a way of bonding. And… it worked. We did bond." He stared at me carefully. "I'm really sorry I hurt you." He whispered.

I swallowed, staring at him as he choked down a sob. It was my turn to comfort, over being comforted. I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around his body. I would have wrapped myself around his arms, but he was taller than me. I felt him pull me closer and felt him lean down, heard him cry into my shoulder.

I cried too. It was a great feeling, having my best friend back. But we both were very stressed out, and had a lot of problems in our lives that we had to just let out from time to time. The brotherly moment lasted a long time, until the tears gradually stopped. I pulled away and looked up at him.

He smiled shyly down at me. "Do you forgive me?" He whispered.

I smiled and grabbed his hand. "What are brothers for?" I whispered, instantly feeling his hand cool down.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

As soon as the words left him mouth, the illness I had felt creeping over me vanished, and my skin was no longer clammy and warm. I smiled, letting out a short laugh and hugging him again. He laughed too. "Okay. Now what?" I asked, looking around.

Draco plopped down on the couch. "Well, since we're experts." He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. I laughed quietly and sat down next to him.

We sat close to each other for a long time, whispering and laughing quietly. After a while, we both lay down and faced each other, still laughing and talking.

"Falin?" Draco suddenly asked after a long period of silence, his breath billowing in a cloud before him and blowing into my face.

"Yeah?" I asked quietly, feeling his question brewing on his mind before he even asked it.

"Why… was your father so mad at you?" he asked and I stiffened.

"It's… complicated." I sighed.

"Oh come on, Falin! I told you my secrets…" He began.

"That's different, Dray. You were _ready _to tell me. I'm not ready to tell anyone yet." I sighed, staring at his chin, not meeting his eyes. I felt his hand brush my face when he pulled it up to use as a pillow.

He chuckled softly. "Is my nickname Dray now?" He asked, an attempt to distract from the way the conversation was headed.

I smiled. "Definitely." I replied, looking up to meet his eyes this time.

"Fine, then yours is…. Fay." He teased.

My eyes widened. "No! That's an old lady name!" I cried, mock-horror.

He giggled. "Okay… how about…. Cere?" He giggled when I slapped him. "Lin?"

I considered that for a moment. "Fine." I grumbled. He laughed again.

**AN: Okay, for those of you wondering how to pronounce Falin's name? Okay, it is Falin Cerenbus. (Fay-lin Sara-bus) the 'n' in 'Cerenbus' is silent. So it's pronounced 'Sara-bus' So, 'Cere' would be pronounced, 'Sara' lol.**


	15. Year 1: Chapter 15

**AN: Important authors note at end! Please read it after the chapter!**

**Chapter fifteen:**

**Bruises; scrutiny**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I yawned, moving stiffly on the leather couch next to Falin. I smiled, wondering how a boy so cold could make such a warm teddy bear. I smirked, thinking I might tease him now and then, calling him a teddy bear. He'd hate that.

I stared at his sleeping face for a while. I felt him shift and pull me closer in his sleep, his arm draped warmly over me. I heard him whimper and I wondered what he was dreaming about. His face twitched. I blinked, staring. I held up my hand and looked from it to his face and back. Indeed, he was paler than me. And his jet black hair, which covered his face slightly, made his skin look even more washed out. He almost looked sickly.

Silently, I wondered who his mother could be. I went over a list of possible women in my head that Snape could possibly have been attracted to… that much. I giggled at the thought, and Falin smiled in his sleep as if he heard me. I shivered and moved closer to him, sandwiching my arms between my chest and his to warm them up.

I let my mind wander as I buried my numb face in the crook of his neck, under his face and using his head as an almost blanket. His skin felt cool against my own for a little bit, but it did effectively warm my cold face. I sighed, closing my eyes, very comfortable.

After a while of thinking over the previous night, I wondered again what Snape had done to his son. I pulled my face reluctantly out of the cozy den between Falin's face and the couch. I had to see if he was hurt, because I knew he wouldn't let me later when he was awake. I looked around, seeing as it was still dark, I figured no one would be up for a while.

I inched away from him, slow as ever to make sure he didn't wake up. As soon as I was off the couch, I looked at my timepiece. It was five in the morning, I had time to check him over and get some more sleep. I stared at him, wondering where to begin.

Carefully, I took his arm which had been draped warmly over me and pulled the long sleeve of his school shirt and wizard robe back to reveal dark splotches on his milky white skin. My eyes widened at the sight of the bruises. I gently set his arm down and pushed back my own sleeve, inspecting the nearly healed bruises that were there. I took his arm again and turned it to look at his wrist. My eyes widened in horror as I saw long white scars there, hardly visible because his skin was almost as pale as they were. I swallowed hard, my mind playing over just what those scars could be from.

I made a face and pulled his sleeve back down, thinking of all the places my father had ever hit me when he'd been mad. Silently, I pulled the neck of his shirt down which he had loosened the tie and undone the top several buttons to make it more comfortable in the night. I bit my lip, gently tracing with my pointer and middle finger the bruises on his cold skin also on his collar bones and the top of his chest. I shook my head sadly.

He was so wrapped up in trying to help _me _when he was in the same quandary I was. I stared at him for a while, watching his chest rise and fall as he slept soundly on his side. He was fast asleep, poor fellow was exhausted.

My eyes traveled the length of his body. My eyes stopped when they rested on a dark stain on the bottom of his right pantleg. Silently, I moved down and rolled it up slightly to reveal a bad wound just above his ankle, just starting to scab over. There was dry blood all over the area and it looked as though it had dripped down to his shoes.

I made a face that suggested revolting horror. My father had hurt me in many ways, but he had never inflicted open wounds on me! (the time when he'd hit me with a slab of glass didn't count, he hadn't done that on purpose)

I pushed the pantleg back down, covering the horrendous wound. I crawled back onto the couch and snuggled next to him, draping his arm back over me and holding him as close to me as I could, feeling my chest ache. Why had he told me his father wasn't abusive?

…

"Dray! Wait up!" I stopped and turned at the sound of Falin's voice. I watched him carefully as he limped to catch up with me.

"Hey Lin." I smiled at him. He grumbled every time he heard his nickname, though I knew he didn't really mind. It was that same morning, after I had inspected his wounds.

"Yo! What up fools!" We both turned to stare blankly at Blaise.

"Ugh, Blaise, you sound like a bloody American muggle, don't do that!" I cried in disgust.

Blaise laughed. "I know, isn't it brilliant? I snuck into muggle-studies class today, and... it was marvelous, learning about all the stupid things they say and do!" He shook his head.

"Muggle-studies? We aren't supposed to take that course until like, our third year!" I cried. He shrugged.

"Nobody noticed me." He laughed.

"Yeah, I bet the teacher in the class you were _supposed _to be in noticed you weren't there." Falin crossed his arms and Blaise blanched.

"Ohhh, gotta go, bye!" he cried, speeding past us.

I laughed, hanging my arm over Falin's shoulders. "Good one Lin." I told him. I saw him wince and I pulled my arm back, remembering the bruises on his shoulders.

"Oh hey, your posse's here." Falin said with mock-enthusiasm, pretending it hadn't happened. I laughed, turning to see Crabbe and Goyle flanking us.

"Right on time." I smirked, elbowing him playfully. He just shook his head, rubbing his side, a pained look on his face that I could tell he was trying desperately to hide. I silently scolded myself, knowing there must be bruises all over his ribs too.

We went through the rest of the day like that, faithful Crabbe and Goyle constantly acting as stupid body-guards, but I was fine with it. I kept an eye on Falin, watching as he tried to hide his limp. Noticing the way he gently massaged his sore shoulder, or knee, or arms when he thought I wasn't looking.

I noticed how quiet he was during potions class, how he stared at his notebook and avoided eye contact with me or his father, who seemed extra harsh that morning, snapping at a poor Ravenclaw who had put too much of something into her potion and it exploded all over her, several unsuspecting Ravenclaws, and, very unfortunately for her, Snape.

She got yelled at, dished out a month of detention, and was forced to clean the entire mess without magic. After the class had been dismissed, Falin had been the first to leave, practically dashing out of the room as if his life depended on it.

I also noticed that he didn't scrutinize me at luncheon, and I was able to get away with only eating an apple and some bread. I also noticed that he himself didn't eat a thing. I didn't say anything though, I didn't want to give away that I knew something was wrong.

"Draco?" Falin began tentatively after our last class of the day.

"Yes?" I asked as we sat down in the common room, avoiding the large crowds of students as they hurried off to get ready for dinner. I stared at him carefully. It must be serious if he forgot to tease me with my nickname. He was staring at his hands in his lap. I stared at them to, watching them wring at each other fretfully.

"…father…. wants to see us after dinner." He told me quietly. I choked on the tea I'd been sipping lightly. I set the cup down and coughed, pounding my fist on my chest. "What?" I managed after calming the coughing fit slightly. "Father, after dinner, he wants to see us." He repeated.

"Why?" I asked, not even attempting to hide the fear from my voice.

He shrugged. "He just wants to see us." Was all he said, looking away. I stared blankly at the back of his head, concentrating on the raven locks of hair. My fragile mind was in too much shock to think about what he'd just said, so it wandered and thought about absurd things, such as, wondering what it was like to have hair that wasn't the same color as your face, like mine.

After a while, he turned back to see that I was staring at him intently. An almost exploring sort of way, and I felt uncomfortable at being caught staring at him like that. It was my turn to look away, and therefore, I didn't catch his expression. "After dinner. Father's office. Don't forget." He murmured as he stood.

I stared after him as he disappeared in the crowd as it went through the portrait. I was left alone in the large common room**.**

**AN: Dun dun DUN! Hehe, what do you think Snape wants to talk to them about? I wasn't sure if I should make this a slash fic or not. If you want me to, who should I pair Draco with? Pansy? For some reason, I really don't like Draco/Pansy though. Oh well, review, and I'll do what my readers want! :)**


	16. Year 1: Chapter 16

****** IMPORTANT! Go back to chapter 12 and read it again! I changed something vital in it, so if you are someone who is reading this story all the way through, you should go back and re-read the chapter before you read this one! **

**Warning, this chapter may contain triggers, be safe!**

**Chapter sixteen:**

**Demons**

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I sat by myself at dinner that night, pondering things. The main thing on my mind, was, of course, Draco. Whom had been occupying my thoughts for some time.

I stared down at the food on my plate, not feeling at all inclined to eat it. After a while of moving it around with my fork, I sighed and pushed it away. I stared at my cup and the offending orange liquid inside. I sighed and swirled it around.

If only I could tell Draco my secret. Things may be different between us. How different? I couldn't be sure. It all depended on him. Silently, I wondered if that was what my father wanted to talk about. I blanched as the idea swam around in my mind. Would father actually do that? We had never told another soul before… except all the bloody doctors, of course… but that was different.

"Hey Falin." I looked up at the sound of the timid voice to see Draco standing uncertainly behind me. I smiled and slid over some, allowing him room to sit. "Not hungry?" he asked, sitting next to me. I shook my head, staring at the plate in front of me. I felt his eyes on me, and I wondered what was going through his mind.

I could have found out, easily. But part of me didn't want to know.

I felt the familiar burning stare that I knew no other wizard had. My father was staring at me from somewhere in the room. I looked around self-consciously, acting as casual as possible. I caught sight of him, up at the head table where all the other professors were sitting and eating.

He was indeed staring at me. My stomach flipped. I looked away quickly, gulping down the rest of the orange liquid in my cup, setting it down only to notice that Draco was now staring at me, causing my stomach to churn even more. I clenched my fist under the table, wanting to get away from all the undesirable attention. I stared blankly at the plate on front of me, feeling sick at the sight of all the food.

I stood up abruptly, walking briskly out of the great room, a hand over my mouth just in case I got sick. Half way to the levorotary, I did. I sped up, nearly racing there. I practically dove into one of the stalls and emptied my already unfilled stomach. I gagged, leaning over the toilet.

I coughed, breathing raggedly as I leaned against the stall divider. I felt myself get sick again and retched into the bowl. I gagged, thoroughly grossed out by the smell. The sight alone of the disgusting orange mess caused me to be sick again and I retched once again. I coughed, panting.

I stood shakily to my feet and flushed the mess, then stumbled out and over to a sink, where I washed my hands and face and rinsed the nasty taste out of my mouth. I leaned on the sink for a while, head hanging, eyes closed. My breath was ragged and thick and my heart thumped rapidly inside my chest. My skin was clammy and hot. I felt downright dreadful, and unbelievably weak.

I loosened my death grip on the sides of the sink and shakily turned the knob. I waited for the water to get as cold as it could, then splashed my face several times. I felt of my hands. They were still clammy and warm. I ran the cold water over them for a few minutes until I felt the temperature dropping, not caring that I was getting my sleeves wet.

I sighed with relief, holding my now freezing hands to my feverish head. Silently, I wondered what had made me so ill. I stayed in the bathroom for a little while longer, until my churning stomach calmed down. In that time, I had gotten sick once more, but felt a little better afterwards.

I wearily made my way to my father's office, being as I was late already. I went in, feeling sick again. Draco was already in there, and was sitting in one of the chairs in front of the desk, staring awkwardly at his lap while father sat at the desk, calmly grading papers.

"You're late." Father growled without looking up. I sat down quietly, staring at my lap. "Sorry father, I was ill." I told him. He looked up at me, and I swear I saw concern, but I know if I were to ask him today, he would deny it. "Why?" He asked. I shrugged. "Must have eaten too much." I replied quietly, to which I received a sharp look from Draco, who knew I was lying simply because I'd told him myself I wasn't hungry.

Father didn't detect the lie, as he'd taught me almost too well in the art of Occlumency. "Now." He began, straightening the papers and setting them aside, then folding his hands in front of him and placing them on the desk in an official looking manner. A new wave of nausea swept over me, but I sat through it.

"Onto, more pressing matters." He stared at us individually, looking back and forth. His stare lingered on me, as I literally felt all the blood drain from my face; I must have been paler than usual and he noticed it too. He didn't say anything however.

I clenched my clammy fists in my lap, hoping I could sit through one of my father's lectures without getting sick again.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I stared at Snape, feeling my heart thumping in my chest. The anticipation of what he was going to say was killing me.

"As you know, Draco. Falin is my son." He began, to the point. Something along the lines of the matter of Snape himself admitting that Falin was indeed his son made the whole thing seem more official, and more surreal as it were. As in, why had Snape wanted to keep Falin a secret? Was he ashamed of his son as my father was ashamed of me? Or did it go deeper than that?

Part of me wanted to know, and the other part, the sane part, wanted nothing to do with the whole matter._ To not get involved. _

I noted with a sinking feeling that, now that I knew, there may be consequences to awareness. As the saying goes; ignorance is indeed bliss.

"And, as you also know, it is a clandestine. One that must not be released to public ear." He stared at me intently and I found myself drowning in his black gaze as I so often did with Falin. I nodded.

His gaze flicked back to Falin for a moment, and he furrowed his brow. "Falin, are you ill?" He asked. I turned to look at Falin, who was slumped in his seat, completely drawn of what little color he had. Honestly, he looked like death.

I jumped up, worried about him and put my hand to his forehead. It was burning hot. Knowing that meant he was very ill, coming from him, especially since his skin was supposed to be at least a hundred degrees cooler. "Professor, I think he's sick." I cried worriedly, not getting any response from Falin, who just sat there and stared blindly ahead.

Snape stood up immediately, moving around the desk to put his hand where mine had been a second ago. "Oh no." He murmured, picking Falin up right away. I ran ahead and opened the door for him while he carried the ill boy out of the dark room. I practically had to run to keep up with Snape's long, urgent strides, and we were at the hospital wing in no time.

I got that door for him to. "Poppy!" Snape called, hurrying in. Madam Pomfrey was on us in an instant. "Oh my!" She cried. "Just set him down here, Severus." She murmured, indicating the bed in the center of the row, the only one that had a curtain that could be pulled in front of it.

Snape did as she said, putting the boy down. Madam Pomfrey pulled the curtain shut and got to work right away. "Did he drink his medicine?" She asked. "Yes." Snape sounded certain.

At that moment, Falin had never looked more… otherworldly? Ghostly, unearthly, ashen, wraithlike, eerie, delicate, fragile, ethereal; whatever supernatural word you wanted to use to describe it, multiply it by ten and he was most certainly it.

I was desperately frightened by the sight of my friend's ghastly condition. I clung sub-consciously to Snape's arm just as he was reaching into his cloak pocket. My eyes widened at the sight before me as Falin's rigid form suddenly began to writhe and shake and he began wailing; an unearthly, demonic sound. I felt my breath hitch in my throat, and all I was aware of at that moment was the sight before me.

I was frightened, but unable to tear my gaze away. Snape jumped forward, holding Falin down while he writhed about, screaming his head off like some sort of wraith. My mind was only able to concentrate on one thing at a time, and so, it missed the two vials fumbling around in Snape's grasp as he tried to hold Falin down at the same time.

I listened to Falin's screams. They reminded me a little of moaning Myrtle, only far more demented and certainly more demonic.

Suddenly unable to take the horror unfolding before me, I broke away, pushing through the curtains and racing out of the room at breakneck speed, mind reeling, heart racing wildly, not breathing. I tore down the hall, going around a bend too-fast to slow down. I slammed, headlong into three forms that hadn't seen me coming, bowling them completely over.

They all shrieked, writhing around and scrambling to their feet. I jumped up, grabbing at one of them, eyes wide, trying to stutter out a sentence. "D-demons! He's demonic! Get him out! Get him out!" I shrieked, covering my ears, Falin's scream echoing through my skull.

I completely blacked out.

**AN: Okay, so... short chapter, I know. But i hope you enjoyed it? Please let me know! Review! :) **


	17. year 1: Chapter 17

**AN: WARNING, this chapter may contain some elements that are frightening to you, please don't read if blood or madness disturbs you in any way. This chapter also may contain triggers. Please be safe, if you are prone to any kind of mental conditions, please be safe!**

**Chapter seventeen:**

**Illness of the mind**

**POV: Hermione Granger**

I yelped as someone knocked into us, completely toppling us over. We hurried to our feet to see that it was Draco Malfoy, eyes wide and filled with unspeakable terror, hair tussled about, robes about to slide off his shoulders.

"Malfoy? What's wrong?" I cried when he jumped up and grabbed me, staring at me but not seeming to see me.

"D-demons! He's demonic! Get him out! Get him out!" He shrieked, letting go of me and covering his ears. His eyes suddenly rolled to the back of his head and his arms went limp.

He crumbled to the floor in a heap, leaving Ron, Harry and I staring down at him, dumbfounded. "What the bloody hell?" Ron cried, staring.

"He's gone mad! He's finally gone mad!" Harry exclaimed, looking as though he weren't sure whether he should be pleased or concerned.

I knelt down beside the small boy, feeling of his pulse to find that it was incredibly high. I looked back up at Harry and Ron, whom all they were good for at that moment was staring. "We need to take him to the hospital!" I told them. They both nodded, crouching down in front of him, then looking uncertain as of what to do.

"Well, go on! Help me pick him up!" I cried.

"Can't we just levitate him?" Ron pleaded.

"No, we dont know what's wrong with him, we might hurt him." I told them. Ron and Harry glanced at each other, then shrugged and got on either side of Draco and picked him up, carrying him between them with surprising ease. Fortunately, we were close enough to the hospital wing to get there quickly.

I opened the doors for them and they carried him in. When we entered, everything was silent. Eerily so. Ron and Harry set him down on the nearest bed. "Madam Pomfrey?" I called. I noticed one curtain was drawn, and the sound of eerie, heavy breathing was coming from behind it.

Suddenly feeling very on the alert, I cautiously stepped toward it. I reached up my hand and pulled the curtain aside. Totally unprepared for what I was about to see, I nearly fainted at the sight, a scream catching in my throat.

Lying unconscious on the floor and covered in blood, were professor Snape and Madam Pomfrey, shattered glass all around them. I felt my blood go cold and I rushed to them, feeling for pulses. They were both alive, but unconscious. "Harry! Ron!" I called and they ran over right away.

Ron yelped, jumping back as soon as he'd raced in, hitting Harry as he was close behind. Harry moved around him, holding his sore nose. His eyes widened at the sight. "What happened…?" He asked.

I didn't reply. My gaze had moved over to the bed, where I had frozen in terror, catching sight of a small boy with pale skin and black eyes, crouched under the bed, staring hungrily at me as though possessed, blood dripping from his hands and a long, bloody shard of broken glass that he clutched dangerously.

Harry saw him too and also froze. My heart beat rapidly in my chest, and I never broke eye contact, too scared to do so, and, the little part of my mind that was thinking sense told me that looking away would be as good as turning a wand on myself.

"Who is that?" Harry asked me quietly, not wanting to anger the boy.

"I… don't know." I whispered, remembering seeing him hanging out with Draco a lot, but not exactly sure who he was. I froze again, my heart beating more rapidly as I heard high pitched, maniacal laughter erupt from the boy under the bed.

I stared at him, swallowing as I saw his black eyes roll frighteningly every which way, sometimes in opposite directions of each other, making me want to puke at the demonic looking sight. He let out a low sound that I could only describe as a growl as he slowly slid out from under the bed, grinning evilly at us.

I immediately began backing away and his grin disappeared, a deep, angry scowl put in its place. He whimpered, stumbling forward. "Hermione!" Ron cried when he grabbed hold of me.

"No Ron!" I told him, not wanting Ron to anger the pale boy any further.

I stared up into his demented eyes as they struggled to focus on me. My eyes flicked to the bloody glass clenched so tightly in his hand that It was cutting a deep slash into his palm, then to the other hand that was clamped lazily on my arm. I noticed with sinking horror that there was a deep gash in his left wrist, bleeding profusely onto my shirt. I also noticed unhelpfully, curse my enhanced perception, that the glass looked to be from a broken medicine bottle, half the label missing, but enough for me to notice that it was a sleeping draught.

He raised the hand with the broken glass and I flinched as he brought it down, but the only thing that hit me was his balled fist, firmly gripping the shard. The glass itself flew past my ear, but didn't so much as graze me.

I swallowed hard, staring up at him carefully. I had read once about people with mental problems needed to be dealt with carefully, because there was no telling what they could do when mad. My gaze flicked to the bloody forms of Snape and Pomfrey, very much caught in the wake of an insane person's anger.

"Please move your hands." I asked gently, but firmly. He stared at me, cocking his head.

"Dray! I want Dray!" he cried, causing me to wince at how twisted and maniacal it sounded. He pushed me aside and I stumbled, shaken, but unharmed.

That had been Madam Pomfrey and professor Snape's big mistake, they'd probably tried to forcibly handle this boy and made him mad. "Whatever you do, don't upset him!" I told the boys who backed away from the pale boy as he got closer to them, waving the glass madly in his hand.

"Dray?" He called, swinging it carelessly about. He grinned, grabbing Ron, who whimpered and struggled.

"Ron! Don't fight him!" I cried when I saw that the boy looked mad. Ron immediately stopped, and the boy stared at him for a moment.

"Yur non Dray!" He slurred, shoving Ron.

Ron stumbled, falling to the floor. He scuttled away as fast as he could, getting out of the way of the pale boy's wild swing with the bloody glass. He then turned to a frozen Harry. "Dray!" The boy sang in a demented voice. He laughed maniacally again, throwing an arm over Harry's stiffened shoulders.

The possessed boy smiled, putting his head on Harry's shoulder and whispering nonsense to him. I saw poor Harry stiffen more and more with every demented whisper. "Calm Harry, keep calm." I warned him quietly. The pale boy was now hugging Harry.

I looked back at professor Snape when something shiny caught my eye. I cocked my head, moving closer as I saw there was a vaccinator with red liquid in it in his hand, along with a vial. I took the vial and opened it, wary of the vaccinator, then sniffed it. It was some kind of medicine. I looked back at the boy, then down at the orange liquid in the vial. It was just a wild guess, but what I was thinking was that Snape had been trying to give this to the boy, but was stabbed before he could.

I glanced uncertainly down at the red liquid, then back at the orange. I decided to go with the orange, it looked less lethal.

I held it up for Harry to see and he caught sight of it, nodding ever so slightly to show he understood. The pale boy had lost interest in Harry and had pushed him aside, heading for Draco whom we'd left unattended over in another bed. My heart sped up and I hurried to catch up with the boy, vial in hand.

Draco was just waking up when the pale boy had crawled into the bed with him, wrapping the smaller boy in his arms, bloody shard of glass still in hand, wrist still dripping with blood. I saw Draco stiffen, and his eyes widen. "Dray." The boy murmured right in Draco's ear.

"F-Falin?" Draco stuttered. Falin, as he was called, simply hugged Draco closer and started nibbling on his ear.

Draco's eyes grew wider and he squirmed. "Draco." I stood in front of them carefully, eyes locked on Falin, ready to interfere if I needed to. Draco froze, eyes pleading for help as Falin began kissing his cheek and neck. "Falin." I tried to get his attention. He ignored me. "Falin!" I tried again, louder this time.

I saw Draco begin to shake as Falin was kissing his face more hungrily. Harry and Ron had gone all the way around and were standing behind Falin, ready to grab him if they needed to. I swallowed, not seeing any way to do this without possibly harming Draco in the process.

"Falin, please stop." Draco whimpered. Falin only took Draco's soft whine as a sign to continue. Draco flinched when Falin's lips met his in a long, hungry kiss, and he began squirming wildly.

Falin, now angered, growled. "Still! Dray hold still!" he cried, and, in a flash, he raised the shard and brought it down.

Ron and Harry leapt forward, grabbing his arm, working desperately against the strength of a madman. I jumped forward too, grabbing Falin's head and forcing the orange liquid in the vial down his throat. I felt his teeth come down hard on my hand and I yelped, pulling my hand away and dropping the now empty vial which shattered to a million pieces on the floor.

Draco was screaming, and blood was pouring from a dozen places on his arm where the glass had grazed.

Ron and Harry, having finally been able to pull Falin's arm down, knocked the glass to the floor. Ron kicked it and it flew far into a corner somewhere. Draco was sobbing uncontrollably now, and Falin was screaming and writhing, his free arm flailing and spraying crimson blood over the white sheets. I grabbed Draco and yanked him away from the insane boy.

Draco stumbled off the bed, still crying and clung to me desperately. Ron and Harry jumped on top of Falin, putting all their weight on him, who finally, was wearing out. After a while of kicking and screaming on all their parts, Falin finally grew silent and stopped moving. Panting, I hugged a distraught Draco as he continued crying.

Ron and Harry tied Falin to the bed with the straps that were there for said purpose, then wrapped a towel around his bleeding wrist to stop the blood flow.

My mind flashed, and I suddenly remembered Snape and Pomfrey. "Guys! They're injured!" I cried, gesturing wildly in their direction.

"We don't know any healing spells!" They both cried at the same time.

I sighed, handing the sobbing, bleeding Draco over to Harry, who awkwardly hugged the distraught and confused boy. He murmured soothing words as Ron and I hurried over to help professor Snape and Madam Pomfrey. I searched for their wounds, finding that Snape had been stabbed several times, once in the gut, and twice in the arm. I began healing him first, as his wounds were more dangerous that the sole wound on Madam Pomfrey's arm which Ron was putting pressure on.

After healing their wounds, I revived them. Snape's eyes flashed open immediately. He looked around, his eyes searching for something. When he didn't find it, his gaze rested on me. He sat up slightly, clutching my arm urgently. "Falin?" He asked desperately.

"We got him under control, sir." I told him quietly. "I gave him that medicine in that vial you had in your hand… I figured it would help him." I told him quietly.

"Which one?" His grip tightened and I winced.

"The-the orange one, sir." I murmured. He relaxed visibly and lay back, breathing deeply. I felt relief flood through me, realizing I'd made the right choice.

His eyes flashed open when, in the silence, he had heard Draco's distraught wails. He looked at me questioningly. "Draco is… traumatized, to say the least. Falin… attacked him." I told him quietly, remembering the ravenous way Falin had been kissing Draco.

Snape sat up. He started standing. I stood and helped him up. Though it took a lot of pride away, he allowed himself to lean on me for support as he limped out of the curtained room. He moved away from me and over to Harry, who was sitting on the floor, Draco in his lap, hugging him and crying into his chest.

Harry was hugging him and rubbing at his back soothingly. Snape crouched in front of them, and I could see the strained look as if he wanted to look at Falin, but couldn't bear to.

He eventually dragged his gaze up to the unconscious boy tied to the bed. He stood and moved over to stare down at Falin sadly. He raised a hand to the boys pale forehead and almost, lovingly pushed his black hair from his eyes. I moved over to stand beside him, clutching at my sore hand where Falin had bit me.

"What was wrong with him?" I asked, staring at his pale, sweat-covered face. Snape sighed.

"He has a mental illness." He replied without looking at me. "If he fails to take his medicine, he goes, well… like this." He gestured the torn up room. I nodded. "For reasons currently unknown, he's not been taking his medicine lately, even though he knows he should. He's fully sane when he has it, but he loses his mind nearly completely when he doesn't."

I nodded, watching as Snape's hand rested gently over Falin's tiny pale one. In an instant, I recognized the resemblance between the two. I knew right away that Falin had to be Snape's son. I smiled sadly. Mental diseases were horrible things to have to live with. Especially when the one you love has one so badly.

**AN: So, does this explain any of Falin's odd behavior? :-)) Such as, when he first met Draco on the train, when he lost his temper and hit Draco, then seemed to not realize afterward? Every time he's invaded Draco's space by whispering too-close to his face, every time he's behaved oddly, or…well, I don't want to give too much away, Snape explains it more in the next chapter. ;) please review? :D**


	18. Year 1: Chapter 18

**Chapter eighteen:**

**The last goodbye**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

It had been a week, and still, Falin was unconscious. I was completely okay with that, as I was now more frightened of him than Snape, father and my teacher combined.

"What's w-wrong w-with hi-mm?" I asked. I had been stuttering ever since the incident.

With incredible patience that I didn't know was possible from him, Snape put a gentle hand on my shoulder and sighed. "He has a very severe mental illness called Moony Madness… they call it that because it's not dissimilar to what takes over the mind of Werewolves, the only difference is, no transformation… but it's just as deadly."

I swallowed, staring over at the very other side of the room where a certain black-haired, pale-skinned boy lay, tied down. "He is completely sane when he consistently takes his medication, but, he's not been taking like he should lately." Snape sighed, sitting beside me on the bed. I stared down at my legs as they dangled from the edge.

"B-but… th-the other n-night?" I stared at the man who was my godfather as he watched me with extreme patience. "Y-you dragged him out of b-bed a-a… a-nd beat him!" I accused, pulling slightly away from his touch.

He furrowed his brow. "Whatever, pray tell, gave you that idea?" He asked calmly.

I stared at my lap. "W-well. I followed you, a-nd I stayed outside your office. I h-heard… shouting and… and crashing sounds." I mumbled.

Snape sighed wearily. "Yes, that night was thefirst night I discovered he hadn't been taking his medication. I had pulled him out of bed to make him take it before he lost his mind and hurt someone." He shook his head.

"We made it to my office, but he was already getting agitated. He threw a fit and hurt himself. I did manage to give him the serum, but it took a very long time."

I stared ahead of me blankly. It was all fitting together. "S-so… he can lose his temper even if h-he takes-s his medicine, right?" I asked, looking up at him.

He nodded. "If he's angered in any way, he'll retaliate in a rash manner and seemingly not remember even doing it." He replied. "Or even apologize after."

I listened carefully, then drew a hand to my cheek. "On-n the train, w-when I first met him, h-he hit me, but apologized… b-bef-fore." I hiccupped, rubbing my eye as he stared down at me.

A sudden thought came over me. "Was it, y-your idea to make Falin l-lie to me about the locked door?" I asked.

He stared at me. "What?" He asked, looking puzzled.

I furrowed my brow, staring up at him. "Falin, t-told me it was y-your idea to lock us o-out of the dorm about a month ago, t-to be a sort of, b-bonding?" I asked again.

He shook his head slowly. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He told me. "Falin has been known to still do strange things, even when he's been taking his medicine, perhaps he derived something from his memory that simply wasn't there." He told me quietly. I sighed and nodded. We sat in contemplative silence for a while. All the while, I was thinking. Why would Falin lie to me? Again?

"The strange part is… I remembered watching him take his medicine that day, I watched him take it right there at dinner…" He murmured quietly.

I looked up at him as he spoke. I nodded, also thinking. My eyes lit up with an idea. "Professor? D-didn't he s-say that he'd been ill, and that was wh-y he was l-late?" I stuttered. He narrowed his eyes, thinking, then nodded. "W-what if he threw up? W-wouldn't the medicine h-have left his body then? He got sick r-right after dinner, it d-didn't ha-ve time to get into his s-system yet."

He stared at me thoughtfully, then realization lit up his eyes. "Yes, that must be it." He nodded, looking down at the vial of orange liquid. "It has to be." He murmured thoughtfully.

We both looked up sharply from the orange vial when we heard murmurs coming from the other side of the room. "Stay behind me." He murmured, standing and heading quickly over. I hesitantly followed, doing as he said and clinging childishly to my godfather's arm, hiding behind him.

"Falin?" Snape raised a careful hand to his son's forehead.

"Father?" He croaked. "What happened?" He asked, looking around.

"You had an attack of the Madness." Snape replied solemnly, gently brushing Falin's hair from his eyes.

I saw little tears sting in Falin's eyes, and he blinked them away quickly. "Di- did I…" he swallowed. "Hurt, anyone?" he asked.

"Unfortunately, yes." Snape replied gravely.

Falin squeezed his eyes shut, lower lip quivering. "I'm sorry." He whispered, tears falling from his eyes and steaming on his cold cheeks. He whimpered, seemingly in pain. "I don't want this anymore!" Falin cried, his voice a desperate wail. "I can't take it!" he cried. "I can't take it." He said again, this time in a whisper, shaking uncontrollably. Snape was murmuring things to his son, still comfortingly stroking his forehead.

Madam Pomfrey came out at that moment. "It's time to give him his medicine again." She murmured, eyeing the crying boy carefully. Snape nodded, moving over so she could have room. I eyed the rather large needle, swallowing hard.

"No, NO!" Falin shrieked, writhing as his father held his arm down.

I stepped back, unable to see him anymore as Snape and Pomfrey were standing over him. "Just calm down." Madam Pomfrey murmured soothingly. I heard Falin let out a tiny yelp and I knew the needle had been put in. She tapped away quickly, empty vaccinator in hand.

I moved over to see Snape holding a swab over the vain in the inside of his son's elbow. Falin was sobbing silently, tears streaming down his pale face which was twisted in pain. I moved over to stand beside Snape. "Why didn't you just use the kind he can drink?" I asked.

Snape shook his head. "Wasn't strong enough, he's been building an immunity to it for six years. Besides, it would be rather counter-productive to simply give him something he can so easily expel from his body, now wouldn't it?" He told me. I just nodded dumbly, staring at the crying boy. I could only imagine what kind of a living hell this boy had to go through every day of his life. My life was a living hell in the physical being. His, was trapped in his mind. Mine had a cure. His didn't.

I swallowed hard, no longer feeling as bad for myself as I used to. Here he was, having to deal with horrors I couldn't even begin to understand, and yet, he was trying so desperately to help me with my horrors that children all over the world dealt with daily to more extremes.

It broke my heart.

…

It had been only about two weeks since the incident, but it was already time to pack up and head home; the end of the school year. The thought of having to live for a whole summer at home with my father's wrath was a horrible thought indeed.

I hadn't seen Falin in a week, when I had been let out of the hospital wing. Falin had been kept in the wing the last two weeks before the end of the school year. Part of me wanted to see him before I left, part of me didn't.

Half of me got my wish.

"Hey Draco." A shy voice whispered. I looked up from the table I had been staring at. We were on the train, and it was getting ready to move. "May I sit with you?" Falin asked, staring at the floor. I stared at him for a moment, then dipped my head slowly, but didn't move over.

He put his bags down and slid into the seat across from me. He was staring at the table, fiddling with shaking fingers. I watched him carefully, seeing how pale he was, with little read lines down his face as if someone had tattooed streaks from his tears onto his face. He looked healthier than that day when he'd been given the injection, but he was still sickly looking.

"I'm… I'm not allowed to come back to Hogwarts next year." He told me quietly, urgently looking up to see my reaction. I blinked, feeling my chest ache at the thought, but told myself it was from some kind of relief. "Even after father convinced the headmaster that the new concoction he's made for me works better than the last one…" He shook his head sadly. "He says I can't come back." He whispered.

"Mm, sorry." I mumbled, trying to sound sympathetic, but not quite managing. I saw him bite his lip and drop his gaze. He was silent for the rest of the trip, all the way back to platform nine and three quarters.

Part of me dreaded the fact that I may never again see the pale boy who'd been my best friend, and another part, the part of myself I hated the most at that moment, rejoiced at the thought of finally getting away from him. Wordlessly, Falin stood and grabbed his bags when the train pulled to a halt.

He stared at me for a moment, opening his mouth slightly as if he wanted to say something, then shut it and gave me a forced half-smile and walked away, shoulders slumped, head hanging. I stared after him, then grabbed my bags and sighed, following the crowd.

I slowly stepped onto the platform, looking around at all the children as they bid each other farewell and ran to greet their smiling parents. My eyes scanned the crowd for my own parents I knew were there somewhere. I clutched nervously at the report card in my hands, the horrid thing that would tattle to my parents about every score I made through each semester, every point deducted from my house that was my fault, everything.

My grades themselves, were above average, hopefully that would be enough to please my father. What caught my eye, however, was not my parents, but, instead, was Falin, being pulled away by a woman in a white suit. Forgetting my parents as worry for my friend took over, I dropped my bags and followed them.

"But Perios! Where's father?" Falin was asking, stumbling to keep up with the woman.

"He's still at Hogwarts, he told me to pick you up and told me he would be home in a few weeks." She replied, going through the porthole to the muggle station. The sudden need to properly say goodbye to my best friend forced me to follow them.

"Falin!" I cried, running after him. They didn't hear me. I chased them all the way out of the train station and into the busy streets of muggle London. I stopped, panting and looking about wildly with a sinking heart when I didn't spot them. Was it too late? Had I lost my chance to say goodbye to my best friend whom I may never see again?

Right then, I caught sight of him. Perios was putting Falin's bags into the back of a taxi. I raced over to them, just as she was about to push him into the taxi. I shoved through a group of muggles and dashed towards them. "Falin!" I cried. He turned to me, then his eyes widened when I threw my arms over his shoulders in a hug, my feet completely lifted off the ground as he was taller than me.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye." I whispered urgently into his ear as I held him close, burying my face in his soft, midnight hair. I felt him wrap his arms around me and hug me back. I felt unwanted tears spilling from my eyes as I held him. I pulled back, letting my feet drop back down to the ground, wiping my eyes quickly. "Promise you'll write?" I begged, clutching at his cold hands.

He was smiling at me, eyes filled to the brim with tears. He nodded, grinning uncontrollably. "Thank you." He whispered, hugging me again. I sniffed hard, hugging him tight, squeezing my eyes shut as I felt a sob choke me. I pulled back hesitantly. Perios and the taxi driver looked impatient. I swallowed a lump in my throat as I squeezed Falin's cold hands again.

He smiled at me sadly before getting into the taxi. He put down the window and held out his hand. I took it and walked with him for as far as I could before the taxi sped up and our hands slipped apart, his cold hand leaving mine for the last time. He waved. I waved back, even after the taxi was completely gone from sight, and I was left on the curb of muggle London. Alone.

**AN: Okay, I know, I know, sad ending to this story. :"( But don't worry! More Draco to come! This was just based on the first movie; Sorcerer's/Philosophers Stone. The first Chapter of Chamber of Secrets will be up sooooooon! Please review!? :D**


	19. Year 2: Chapter 1

**THE BOY NO ONE KNEW: part two**

**Chapter one:**

**Summer's finally over**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I stood impatiently on platform nine and three quarters, waiting for the train to arrive.

It had been a long, tiring summer, filled with beating after beating after beating. And I just couldn't stand the long moments of waiting since the time was already come. I _needed _to get away. This year, school was to be almost a vacation, a much needed one.

I shifted uncomfortably, feeling the swelling bruises under my clothes. Father had been particularly angry the night before, and had beat me until I'd passed out. I hadn't known why he was mad, not finding out a thing through his angered screams as I usually did. He would normally scream to me the problem, like, 'you filthy child! It's your fault we lost that item of high value!'

It's your fault this! It's your fault that! It was disgusting because well-over half the things he blamed me for, weren't actually my fault at all.

I heard the train coming before I saw it, and my heart sped up as excitement pumped through my veins. I stepped forward eagerly, only to be stopped by father's snake-head staff coming down on my already sore shoulder. I winced, swallowing hard, looking down at it, then turning around to face his cold grey gaze.

"Yes father?" I asked, clutching at my bags carefully.

"Leaving without saying goodbye, Draco?" he asked slowly and darkly, smiling the whole time. I didn't stare at the smile. It was deceiving. It was his eyes that gave away the contempt.

"Sorry father." I whispered, dropping my gaze.

"Look at me when I speak to you." He told me. My eyes flicked up and I met his gaze again. "I expect perfect grades, exemplary behavior. And I expect a better report card than last year's, understood?" He said quietly.

"Yes father." I replied quietly.

He reached forward and hugged me, squeezing harder than was necessary, and I couldn't help but let out a tiny squeak of pain, knowing he was only doing that to remind me of what pain was. He pushed me away and stepped back.

Mother stepped forward, kneeling down and hugging me very gently, knowing all too well the bruises she helped me hide under my clothes. She smiled pulling back and wrapping my wizard robes around me tighter. "Keep warm, stay sharp." She told me, smiling. I smiled back bravely, and she hugged me again. "Go on, love. Have fun." She smiled, standing up and handing me my bags.

I waved as best I could with my arms full, then boarded the train. I slipped into the same first class booth I had used the year before and slid all the way to the window.

I stared sadly at the empty seat beside me, where my best friend Falin had sat the first year I'd met him. I smiled sadly at how annoying he'd been. I sighed and stared out the window.

"Mind if I sit with you?" A boy asked.

"I want to be alone." I replied quietly without looking up.

"Your loss." I looked up sharply at the familiar line to see a pale boy with black hair, grinning down at me.

"Falin!" I cried, jumping up and engulfing him in a hug, nearly knocking him over and making him drop his bags. Falin laughed and hugged me back.

I pulled back, my hands on his shoulders, my eyes even with his. I realized I'd grown through the summer, and he hadn't. We were the same height.

"Sit down!" I cried, sliding in. He laughed and plopped down next to me. "I thought you said-"

He cut me off. "Father talked to the headmaster again, and he said I could come." He told me, smiling.

"But-"

He cut me off again. "Father has been working nonstop all summer on a concoction I could use this school year. He had it approved by Perios, my psychiatrist, and Dumbledore accepted it." He grinned.

"Oh, that's great, man!" I smiled, nudging him.

He nodded, clutching at the table excitedly."Father has also been working with me on mind-strengtheners. He says over the years, it may begin to help, but he told me not to get my hopes up." He looked gloomy for a moment, as if thinking of being forever haunted by this disease of the mind, but cheered up quickly.

"So, how was your summer?" He asked, smiling at me. My smile faded and I looked away.

"Oh." Was all Falin said. We were both silent for a while. "Was it as bad as last year?" he asked carefully.

I hesitated. "Worse." I replied quietly. He felt his hand clasp over my own, still as cold as I remembered it.

I smiled at him as he gave my hand a comforting squeeze. "What about…" he stopped suddenly, not wanting to upset me. I knew what he was asking.

I shook my head. "Father stills refuses to believe he's a bad man. He still hasn't gotten me a better teacher." I whispered, staring at the table.

He drew me closer sub-consciously, as if he felt he could protect me then and there from the monsters in my life. I appreciated the concern.

Later, after we'd gotten to Hogwarts, the rules had been repeated and all our things had been taken to the dormitories, we sat in the great hall, watching all the first years as they were sorted into their rightful houses. Falin and I cheered and clapped wildly for all the new Slytherins, grinning and congratulating them as they smiled from ear-to-ear and sat down amongst us.

I smiled, staring at one first year in particular who looked frightened, and I remembered being just like her on my first year. I offered her a smile and she blushed, staring at her plate.

I laughed and started cheering again as another student was assigned to Slytherin.

After dinner, we were all taken to the common room so we could catch up with old friends and meet new ones. "I'm Miriad Hensul." The first year girl introduced herself to me. I smiled.

"Draco Malfoy." I told her. "Tell me, are you muggle-born?" I asked her. I knew it was rude to ask out-right, but I had to know.

She stared at me, her smile fading. "Y-yes… why?" My smile faded too. She was nice! I really wanted to be friends with her!

I scowled, my father's voice ringing in my ears. "Filthy mudblood." I spat, turning away from her.

"Bu- Dra-Draco?" She stuttered.

"Draco!" Falin cried, putting a comforting arm around the quivering girl's shoulders.

"What?" I demanded.

"I'm half-blood too." He told me, a challenging glint in his eyes.

I stared at him, then back at Miriad. "But your father-" I began.

"Is also half-blood." He interrupted. Silence stretched between us.

My gaze flicked back to the girl who was staring at us uncertainly. I made a face and turned away. "But at least you're not a mudblood." I hissed. Falin moved away from the girl and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Remember Draco, there isn't a wizard alive that's not half-blood or less. Not even you." He told me. I glared at him and he stared evenly back. I muttered something to him that I wouldn't have cared to repeat loud enough for him to hear.

"I'm going to bed." I grumbled, stalking away and leaving them staring after me.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape (Fay-lin Sara-bus)**

I turned and smiled at the little red-haired green-eyed girl. "My name's Falin." I told her, extending my hand.

She blushed and shook it lightly. "I'm Miriad. But you can call me Miri." She told me quietly. I smiled, still holding her hand. Her smile reminded me of Susan's.

She yelped, pulling her hand back and I immediately felt bad. She rubbed her hand, staring at me with wide eyes. "Your hand is _freezing_!" She cried. I shrugged and nodded, rubbing my hands together, feeling the cold that meant I was perfectly healthy and or happy.

"Sorry about that." I murmured.

She smiled uncertainly. "I'll see you later then?" She asked, turning and starting to walk away.

"Sure." I replied. She smiled at me over her shoulder and waved.

I sighed contentedly and plopped down on the couch, grinning. Things were already looking up this year. My smile vanished. Except for Draco. What was I going to do about Draco? I sighed again, this time much more wearily.

**AN: YAY! First chapter's done. You knew I couldn't leave Falin out of it! He's like the best part! XD he has to be there for Dray-Dray! And OHHHH! Is there a budding romance ahead for Falin and Miriad? And will Draco be jealous? I don't know! It depends on what you want to read! Review with ideas! (oh, and for those of you wondering, Susan is a character later on in the story)**


	20. Year 2: Chapter 2

**Chapter two:**

**The crimson line**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I stared at the ceiling, listening to myself think.

It wasn't fair that I couldn't be friends with Miriad. And it certainly wasn't fair that Falin _could. _Who cares if she's muggleborn? I don't! I smiled, thinking I may try to apologize. But then, my smile faded as I heard my father's voice again.

"Mudblood." I murmured quietly, rolling the word over my tongue and playing out how it sounded. "Mud…blood." I said again, sounding it out. No matter how I said it, it was still awful. I rolled over onto my side, staring blankly at the wall, listening as the boys came into the second year Slytherin dorm.

I didn't move, listening as they laughed and talked excitedly. I felt my bed shift and a hand rest on my shoulder. I turned to see Falin there, staring at me.

I turned back around after shrugging his hand off, as I could feel cold seeping through my thin shirt. "What do you want?" I asked, a little more harshly than I had intended.

"You know, I really care about you, Draco. But when you act like you are, it's really hard for me to like you." He told me.

"Well, go cry about it then, see if I care." I told him, squirming and pulling my knees up, staring at the wall, feeling his gaze on me. He was silent for a long while, and I didn't move. "How could a mudblood get put in Slytherin, anyway?" I continued, adding insult to injury. "Salazar Slytherin would be furious if he knew how far Hogwarts has fallen."

"Now hold on a minute!" Falin interrupted, jumping up. I turned to face him, eyes narrowed and a deep scowl on my face. "Look, I know your family despises muggle-borns, and I can never hope to grasp why, because… muggle parents or not, they are still witches and wizards, with all the same powers as you, like it or not."

I glared at him as he continued. "But the least you can do, is keep your opinion to yourself if it's going to do nothing but hurt others." He stared at me with his dark eyes. "Have you ever, stopped to think how you make them feel? The muggle-borns? Just think, how you would feel, if you were a muggle-born-"

I scoffed at that, interrupting him. "Are you delirious? I'm _not _a muggle-born, and I resent the fact that you're fantasizing about me being one!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?" Falin spat. "Don't you know it's rude to interrupt? Surely your _father_ has taught you better manners than that!"

My scowl vanished and I blanched. He had hit the mark. I sat up, eyes blazing. "You leave my father out of this, he has _nothing_, to do with it." I hissed, glaring up at him, my face a hard, cold stone.

"Just calm down." Falin told me.

I jumped up, meeting his stare evenly, and even noticed I was slightly –slightly!- taller than him.**"**Don't make me mad, then tell me to calm down! That's like stabbing someone, then asking them why they're bleeding." I hissed. "Get out of my face!" I shoved him and he stumbled back.

He caught himself and glared at me, fixing his robe and storming off to the other side of the room and began unpacking his things, his movements jerky and angered.

I scowled over at him, then slipped back into my bed, facing the wall again, arms crossed. Angry.

**WARNING! Cutting, self-harm in this part! Don't read if it will bother you!**

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I scowled over at Draco's turned back as he faced the wall, shoulders hunched. I could sense the anger rolling off him in waves. I slammed my trunk shut and threw it the floor, earning several stares. I ignored them as I stormed out of the room, slamming the heavy door.

I went through the common room, ignoring the stares I was getting from several first years who were playing wizard chess, and a load of fifth and sixth years as they horsed around in the open space.

I went through the portrait, heading for the levorotary. I found and empty stall and went in, slamming the bolt home with a satisfying shriek and crack.

I plopped down on the floor, glaring furiously ahead of me. I had to calm down before I hurt myself or someone else. I closed my eyes, breathing slowly and deeply, but it was no use. I was livid. I knew if I couldn't calm myself down, I'd have to go to father. I didn't want to have to do that, so I continued trying to calm myself.

But, the more I tried, the more I failed. As the silence stretched on, all I could hear was Draco's angry voice in my head, shouting at me.

Finally, remembering that father had warned me, that if I ever felt like I was going to have an attack to come straight to him, I decided I needed to. I started to get up, reaching up to grab at the wall to help me. I yelped, falling back when I felt my wrist rake over something sharp.

I fell back to the floor, gripping my arm. I pulled back the sleeve and stared at the long, red line. I was mesmerized by the streak of crimson, and memories of my old escape hit me in the face. I hadn't cut in nearly a month. I had started it many years ago, and I had been hooked on it since.

I had stopped briefly when Draco and I became friends. Then started up again during the summer. My father had been trying to make me stop ever since I started. Every time I did it and he caught me, he made me promise I wouldn't do it anymore. But he and I both knew that wasn't going to happen.

I fumbled in my pocket for the little muggle pocket knife I always had weighing me down, a constant reminder of my pain. I held it in my hand, weighed it, then flicked it open, running the tip of my finger over the sharp blade. I turned it back and forth, admiring haw it caught the dim light and reflected it back in my eyes.

Silently, I held it to my wrist, right where the little cut already was and slid the blade across my skin, watching as the river of red followed it. I felt myself tingling with excitement from the familiar sting. I didn't think, I didn't feel, I just acted. I closed my eyes, feeling the blood drip from my wrist to the bathroom floor.

I breathed in deeply, letting the anger I had felt leave my body to be replaced by weak relief. I opened my eyes and carefully slit another long gash, and another, feeling the scolding hot blood pour out. Finally, I realized I couldn't keep going or I'd bleed out. Even though I didn't fear death, I wasn't ready for it yet, so, I wrapped my hand over the wound and held it tightly until it stopped bleeding.

I then did a quick, nonverbal wandless spell the clean the blood off the floor and my clothes, then stood to my feet weakly, still holding my wrist and went to the nearest sink. I then rinsed my arm, letting the cold water run over the wound and sting the burn. After it was clean, I noticed my arm was very burnt where the blood had touched it. I made a face, then conjured a bandage and wrapped it carefully over my wrist, then yanked the sleeve down.

I sighed and stared up at my face, feeling weak, and even more depressed, but no longer angry. I scowled at the colorless ghost before me. "Freak." I hissed at myself, feeling rather pleased with myself for defying my father once again. "Who's your evil little follower now, father? What good is he to you anymore?"

**AN: dun dun DUUNNNN! Sorry for how depressing that chapter was… and sorry to those of you who could not read it because or the content, but… yeah, that's all I have to say for myself, other than, I'm a very depressing person. Well, I hope you know that cutting is NOT the answer, and I hope none of you ever try it, it's horrible and only makes things worse. So… review!**


	21. Year 2: Chapter 3

**Chapter three:**

**Sleeping somewhere cold**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I had been sinking in my mood for a long time. I had begun to feel really bad about Falin and my argument as the hours went by. It was deep into the night, and still, Falin hadn't come back. Where was he sleeping?

I sighed, finally unable to think about it any longer without going completely mad, I jumped up, pushing the covers aside and tapped quietly out of the dorm and into the common room. I checked both couches twice, then all the chairs and places he could have slept. He wasn't there.

I sighed and slipped out the portrait. "Lumos." I whispered, pulling out my wand and lighting it up. I looked down one side of the hall, then down the other. Which way should I go? I thought for a moment, weighing what was in what direction. His father's office was to the left, along with the Hufflepuff dorm and the potions class. To the right, was the Gryffindor dorm and the lavatory, as well as the Ravenclaw dorm and a few other classrooms.

I weighed my options, then went to the right, treading carefully, watching for Mister Filch or Dumbledore or any of the prefects. I went down the hall past the stairs to Gryffindor portrait, deciding to check the lavatory. He had gone there once or twice before when he was mad or upset.

I reached it without getting caught, or even seeing anyone. I went in, looking around cautiously. I raised my wand in the dark room, my eyes scanning the sinks, then moving over to the stalls. Silently, I crouched down and peered under the dividers. I saw what I was looking for. Legs. Someone was sitting on the floor in one of the stalls.

I got up and moved to it. I quietly opened it to see Falin leaning on the wall, eyes closed, sleeping very deeply. "Falin." I poked him carefully. He didn't move. "Fayyyyliiiin…" I poked him again. I sighed, shaking him. He still didn't wake. What the hell? "Falin?" I asked a little more urgently.

I pulled him up, shaking him. He still didn't wake. I started to panic, then heard him murmur as if asleep. God, he was such a heavy sleeper! I sighed, half-picking him up and half dragging him out, throwing his arm over my shoulder and wrapping my arm around his body, using leverage to help me carry him.

Once we were out in the halls, I got halfway to the Slytherin dorms when I was caught by a bloody Gryffindor prefect. That damned Percy Weasley. "Malfoy…." He caught sight of Falin. "What, are you doing…?" He asked, pointing his lit wand at us so he could see.

"Uhhh…" I glanced around nervously, wrapping Falin's arm further over my shoulders and adjusting my grasp around his waist.

"What's wrong with Mister Cerenbus?" He asked.

"He, uh, sleepwalks! I was just getting him before he walks off the end of one of those bloody staircases, well, goodnight." I slid past him, then headed for the Slytherin dorm as fast as I could whilst Falin was hanging on me, feeling Weasley's eyes on the back of my head.

"Damn you, Falin." I hissed as I pulled him through the portrait. "You could have gotten me in trouble." But of course, he didn't respond. He was still fast asleep. I sighed and dropped him on one of the leather couches in the common room. "Sorry, but I'm not helping you all the way, I can't risk waking anyone up…." I sighed, wondering why I even bothered.

"Goodnight, Falin." I murmured, slipping my robe off and carefully wrapping it around him. I gently brushed the hair from his eyes, staring longingly at my best friend before heading back to the dorm to try and get some sleep.

**AN: Sorry it's so short guys, but the next cut is really long, so I couldn't put them together, I may update later on today to compensate for how pitifully short this chapter is... not sure yet though, it depends on whether or not you want to read more. So, review please! Sorry about the swearing, hope I didn't offend you, but I personally think that hell and damn aren't as bad as words other's would have used. So, happy reading! Please review!**


	22. Year 2: Chapter 4

**Chapter four:**

**Nightmare; Friends again**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

_I saw the cold grey eyes of my teacher as he pulled me closer, forcing his lips on mine. I whimpered, trying to get away from him. Suddenly, his grey eyes turned to a soulless black, and his brown hair grew darker and darker until it was midnight black. I was staring up at my best friend, Falin Cerenbus Snape as he stared down at me hungrily, his eyes filled with the same madness that had been there that day when he'd attacked me, a year before._

_"F-Falin?" I whimpered as he kissed hungrily at my face and neck. He didn't reply. "Falin, please stop." I whimpered. Falin only took my soft whine as a sign to continue. I flinched when Falin's lips met mine in a long, hungry kiss, and I began squirming wildly. Falin, now angered, growled. "Still! Dray hold still!" he cried in his demented voice, and, in a flash, he raised the glass and brought it down._

_I shrieked as I felt it graze my skin jerkily as his arm was grabbed by an unknown force. I screamed, feeling blood pour from my arm and I was grabbed and yanked away from Falin as he screamed with all the voices of hell, writhing angrily as though possessed. Sobs gushed from my lips as fast as the blood gushed from my arm._

I woke with a jolt, sitting bolt upright, covered in sweat. I was panting and my heart was thumping wildly. I threw the covers aside and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I leaned forward, putting my head in my hands and closing my eyes, waiting for my heartbeat to return to normal.

When it finally did, however, I was left feeling weak and shaky. I raised a timid hand to my dry lips, rubbing them lightly. I could still feel Falin's warm, soft one's as they had been forced upon mine anything but gently. The experience had been more terrifying than anything my teacher had ever done to me, simply because I had trusted Falin at the time it had happened. Whether or not I would ever be able to trust Falin completely again after that, I couldn't be sure.

I opened my eyes and scanned the second year boys dorm. It was morning, and everyone was just starting to wake. I shivered and quickly got up, dressing and going out. I went through the common room quickly, not daring to even look over to see if Falin was still on the couches.

I headed straight for the lavatory, towel and fresh clothes in hand. I quickly undressed and went in one of the shower stalls. I slumped my shoulders and stood under the streaming hot water for a long time, ignoring the fact that it burned like hell. I rubbed my eyes, trying to keep a quiet mind.

But images of the nightmare kept coming to me in flashes. And one in particular, completely knocked me off my feet. I hit the shower floor hard and just lay there, curled up under the scolding hot spray, panting. I don't know how long I lay there, but I think I ended up passing out from the heat.

I woke, who knows how much later, and the water was now freezing cold. I shivered, sitting up and hugging my knees to my chest as the water dripped down my face and nose. I eventually stood and turned the water off, shivering from the cold. I stepped out and wrapped myself in my towel, still slightly groggy from the nap.

I had, fortunately slept dreamlessly. I dried myself off and dressed, then stared at myself in a mirror. My skin was shriveled from being in the water so long. I scowled. I looked like a prune. Maybe I'd just call in sick today? I shivered again, feeling an ache in my chest from having sat in the cold water for so long. Yeah, sick.

I didn't bother doing anything with my hair, or even drying it for that matter. It hung in loose ringlets about my head, some sticking to the sides of my face and others the back of my neck as they were still wet. I went back to the dorm and crawled back in bed, squeezing my eyes shut and falling into a deep, dreamless sleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

That morning, I had woken up in the Slytherin common room, on one of those same leather couches. I had at first looked to see if Draco was with me, but he wasn't, and I felt my heart sink even thinking about him.

All through the day, I had watched for him. I had wanted to look at him, to catch his eye. That way, I could know if he was still mad at me. I silently had wondered how I had ended up in the common room in the first place, as I distinctly remembered falling asleep in the lavatory. But personally, I was glad I ended up in the common room so that no one could have discovered me in the lavatory.

I stabbed listlessly at my food at dinner, my elbow on the table, chin in hand. I sighed and dropped my fork, moving my arms and crossing them, resting them on the table and putting my chin on them. The day had been long and boring without Draco, and Miriad had been avoiding me. I felt thoroughly dreadful.

By the end of the day, when we were all congregating in the common room for games before bedtime, was when I finally caught sight of Draco, and he looked awful. "Hey Draco." I began timidly, standing in front of him as he lounged on the leather couch, his legs up on it and his ankles crossed, leaving no room for anyone else to sit. The blank look that had been on Draco's face turned into a scowl as the boy turned to face me.

"What?" He spat, curling his lip.

I sighed. "Draco…" I shook my head, a curtain of midnight hair falling over my eyes. I absent-mindedly pushed it back, the raised my hand to rub self-consciously at my arm. "I'm sorry. I was angry. I shouldn't have said that to you yesterday." I murmured, staring at the floor.

When he didn't respond, I glanced up to see him staring at me, his scowl was gone. As soon as he noticed me looking at him, he forced the scowl back on his face. "And why should I accept your apology?" He intoned dryly. I felt as though he wasn't as mad at me as he was playing at, I'm pretty sure he just wanted to see how far I was willing to go to stay his friend.

"Because it's sincere." I replied, staring at him evenly. His face twitched. He turned, sliding his legs off the couch so that his feet were planted on the floor. He leaned back, folding his arms in a cocky manner and putting on a face that was dripping with superiority.

"Oh really? Then why did you say it in the first place, if you didn't mean it?" He asked.

"I never said I hadn't meant it, and I won't lie to you and say that I hadn't, because, at the time, I had. And it was wrong of me. And I'm sorry." I told him. He blinked lazily, eyeing me. I could tell he was having a hard time keeping a straight face.

"Well, I forgive you." I said ungraciously. "But this doesn't mean we're friends again. What makes you think that I want to be friends with you after everything you've done to me? You think you can just run crying to me an apologize and I'll cry too and forgive you? Oh no, not a chance." He shook his head, smirking mirthlessly.

_Bloody idiot, I'll kill him for this. _I thought. "Come off it, Malfoy. You can hardly keep from laughing, I can see it in your eyes." I told him, smiling.

I saw the corners of his lips twitch as he continued to struggle with the false resentment he was playing at. "Whatever gives you that idea, _Cerenbus?"_ he intoned, staring at me blankly. He may have been bloody good at hiding his smile, but nothing he could do could hide the gleam from his eyes. So I decided to play along.

"Bloody hell, you're difficult, you know that? Why bother?" I saw his face fall, and with that, I turned and feigned walking away, but only took a few steps before I heard the creak of the leather as he shot off the couch.

"Falin, wait, I was only joking! I forgive you, we can go back to being friends again!" He pleaded, running in front of me. I stared at him blankly, reveling in the glory of watching the mighty Draco Malfoy stand before me and beg me to be his friend again.

I folded my arms, staring up at him and remembering how much taller I had been than him just a year before. "You're a bloody handful, Malfoy. I swear you'll be the death of idealism. No need to romanticize your anger, and then your desperation, because now I'm the one who's 'only joking.'" I smirked at him. His face fell even further and he started beating on my arm.

"Bloody, bloody, _bloody_ prat!" he cried as I laughed gleefully at how irritated he was because I'd gotten the better of him.

"Bloody hell, Draco. I can't believe you fell for that! I had you!" I laughed.

He scowled, crossing his arms. "Key word, _had. _Never again will I fall for your _bloody_ tricks." He grumbled, once again, over-using the word bloody when he was mad.

I laughed again. "Don't be so sure."

**AN: hehe, so, they're friends again. Boy, their friendship has been a roller-coaster ride, hasn't it? :) I hope you review!**


	23. Year 2: Chapter 5

**WARING: this chapter contains cutting! Don't read if it will bother you!**

**Chapter five:**

**Desperate for relief**

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I was so torn as I sat alone in a lifeless jumble of secret thoughts, wanting to end the bitter pain for some relief, even momentarily.  
It wouldn't subside, the negative force that broke my heart and killed my joy. Feeling sorry with useless tears, were nights long gone.

I sat in silent agony as I held the blade to my wrist for the tenth time in a week. Almost a new record, but not quite. From previous times, I knew that I couldn't keep doing this, or I would permanently damage myself, as my body needed more time to replenish the blood it was losing every night.

But I needed an escape. I needed some relief! And I had been drowning myself in sorrows for too long. I'd sooner drown myself in my own blood than continue on like I was. And so, I swiftly swiped the blade along my damaged wrist, right over the healing wound that I had given myself the night before. I watched with a strange sense of interest as my blood, my precious, life-giving crimson drops of blood dripped slowly from the small wound, the flow growing stronger as I continued dragging the blade across my skin.

I finally had to stop, much to my woe. I stared blindly at the red blood as it scorched my skin, and I felt nothing. No pain. Not anymore. It was gone. All I felt was a dull sort of relief. An odd release. It left me weak. I contemplated myself as I continued to stare reverently at the scarlet flow.

I was sad and lonely, having nobody to comfort me, so I wore a mask that always smiled; to hide my feelings behind a lie.  
Before long, I had many friends; with my mask, I was one of them. But deep inside, I still felt empty, like I was missing a part of me. Nobody could hear my cries at night, because I designed my mask to hide the lies. Nobody could see the pain I was feeling, for I designed my mask to be laughing. Behind all the smiles were the tears, and behind all the comfort were the fears. Everything they thought they saw, wasn't everything there was to me.

Life had left me ruined. Hollow, detached cries filled my soul, my heart had long since been shattered. I was bleeding inside but I hid it...faking was my everyday role.

Day by day, I was slowly dying. I couldn't go on, there was something missing… I was searching for the thing that would stop my crying. For someone who would erase my fears, dry my tears. But till then I kept on smiling. Hiding behind this mask I was wearing. Hoping one day I could smile genuinely, until then, I would stay there in the depths of despair… waiting.

I was brought back sharply from my thoughts as light-headedness made me fall back against the stall divider. I immediately stopped the blood from flowing from the wide gash, silently scolding myself for letting it go so far. I closed my eyes as the room began to spin. I couldn't pass out, or I would surely bleed out.

I pried my eyes back open, conjuring a bandage and tightly wrapping my wrist, not bothering with even washing the wound this time. I relaxed my weak limbs, allowing the fuzziness to take over, and before long, I had lost consciousness.

**POV: Severus Snape**

"Bloody first-year." I muttered, washing my hands for the fifth time in the lavatory sink. It was right after the first potions class of the day, and already, I was in a foul mood. A no good first-year had been showing off, and had put too much of… well, _everything _into his cauldron and it had exploded all over the entire class.

I had been forced to dismiss everyone to go to the hospital wing, as many of the children were having allergic reactions to the varied and uncoordinated mixture of normally harmless potions ingredients. I myself had just thoroughly bathed myself to rid the burning itching feeling that had begun affecting me.

I sighed, irritated, and begun to walk out of the lavatory when an odd sight caught my eye. I backed up, bending down slightly to peer at what I saw. What I saw, was indeed the bottom half of someone sitting on the floor in one of the stalls, and there was blood all over the floor around them and over them, seeping through a bloody bandage.

Alarmed, I quickly unlocked the stall door with a spell and pushed it open. I stared in shock down at none other than Falin… my son. _My son. _It finally registered. "Damn!" I hissed, dropping to his side and urgently feeling for a pulse. "Damn you, Falin, how could you do this to me?!" I whispered, even though I knew it wasn't the boy's fault, and I relaxed slightly when I felt a faint pulse.

I took the bloody child in my arms and practically ran to the hospital wing. "Poppy!" I cried, bursting in.

"Severus! What's wrong?" The woman cried, rushing toward me, leaving a student sitting at another bed and staring over at us curiously. I set Falin down on the nearest empty bed and Poppy was on him in an instant.

"He's lost a lot of blood." I told her quickly, holding up his bandaged arm for her to see. She quickly wrapped another bandage over the old one, wrapping it tightly, then got to work with a blood-replenishing potion. I noticed with relief that no blood seeped through the new bandage, so the wound had probably already started healing.

"Severus, he can't keep doing this. His medication is in his blood, if he loses too much blood, he's also losing his medicine. Now I have to give him more to compensate for what he's lost." She told me. I nodded, thoroughly flustered. She sighed, staring at the vaccinator in her hand as she filled it with the orange liquid.

She glanced up at me and I held Falin's arm down while she prepared the needle. Though it wasn't necessary. Falin was out cold. He didn't feel a thing.

**POV: Karnus Flejj**

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion as Madam Pomfrey injected Cerenbus with some kind of orange serum, thinking about what was going on. "How long has he been doing this, Severus?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

Professor Snape hesitated. "Several years." He murmured. "_Years?! _Severus, _why _may I ask, did you not seek professional help after not being able to stop him on your own?" She demanded, obviously disgusted and shocked by whatever they were talking about.

"I can assure you, Poppy. He had the finest of… _professional, _help." Snape ground out. "What he has is incurable, and you _know _it." I didn't catch Madam Pomfrey's murmured response, but it obviously infuriated professor Snape. "How dare you! I resent that! You know I care for him, Poppy. He's my _son." _My eyes widened at the confession and my jaw dropped.

_Falin Cerenbus _was _Severus Snape's _bloody _son?! _I listened with increasing interest as the conversation continued, neither adult aware of young ears eavesdropping on the conversation.

"I know, Severus, and as one of the only ones in this blasted school privileged enough to know that, you should at least have had the decency to tell me that he bloody _cuts."_ She snapped right back.

My jaw dropped again as another bombshell of coveted knowledge was unknowingly being handed to me in a gift-wrapped package with a bow on top. Ever since the start of school the year before, everyone -well, everyone who'd not simply ignored Cerenbus, that is- had wondered what the hell was wrong with the bloody freak. Turns out, there was more off about him that we had surmised.

I would have _so much _juicy gossip to spread after all this. Angus Stecks and Jordan Malohov would jump all over this one, and they would exalt me for it! The only problem was, what if Snape or Pomfrey suddenly realized I had been listening? That would be bad. I decided I needed to leave while I still could.

I glanced down at my sprained wrist, rolling it slightly and deciding I was well enough to leave. I slipped off the bed and out of the hospital wing without being noticed, catching the last words as I left.

"You can't hide him from the Madness forever, Severus. It's bound to catch up with him sooner than you think."

**AN: UUUUHHHHH-OHHH, I smell trouble ahead for Falin! What will happen to the big secret if Flejj spills the beans? I haven't decided the fate of the huge secret yet! You have a chance to help with the next few chapters of the story and what will happen! Just review with your ideas! I NEED to know what you want to happen!**


	24. Year 2: Chapter 6

**Chapter six:**

**The talk; Guardian**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I sighed, fiddling with my quill. It had been a few days since I'd seen Falin. I had asked Snape about it, and he had told me –reluctantly- about Falin's… problem.

I slumped further in my seat, hence further in my mood, staring blindly at Snape's black boots as they wandered from one side of the classroom to the next, going from student to student.

I had never realized that Falin was into self-harm. I had heard about people who cut, but had never really given it much thought. Now that I was, I was disgusted by it. Imagine, purposely slicing your own flesh, damaging your own, perfect, porcelain skin. Falin and I shared the same complexion. Pale, and perfect.

I would never dream of purposely marring it. I took pride in my perfect skin. I was even envious of Falin's milky white porcelain Irish skin. Even mine wasn't near as perfect to the touch as his. And yet, he actively damaged it. Scarred it. I clutched the quill so tightly it snapped. I let out a small sigh, dropping the pieces to my desk.

"Damaging school property, Malfoy? Honestly, I thought you were better than that, though you obviously put no value on other's belongings, two points from Slytherin." I stared up at Professor Snape as he immediately continued on about something else. I scowled. Was he bloody serious? I break a damn quill and he takes points? I slumped even further in my seat, resenting the dark man until I came to the conclusion that he was only drilling down harder on everyone because he was under a lot of stress.

Indeed, I had noticed the change in his mood the past couple days. He seemed more cold and heartless than usual. And more emotional at the same time. I had caught him wiping his eyes as he came out of his office the other day when I had been going to inquire about Falin's health.

And so, his dropped mood was the result of relentless stress. I ran a hand through my hair, not caring that as I did so, I was messing up the perfectly slicked back near-white tresses. I tried desperately to concentrate on the test as it was handed out, but I'm pretty sure I failed miserably.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

"I know, and I'm sorry! But I can't help it!" I cried. "I've tried to stop, but I can't." I told myself not to cry, even as I felt the tears threatening. I didn't want to have to deal with anymore pain right then.

Father stood in front of me as I sat on the edge of the bed in the hospital wing, my legs dangling over the sides. Father opened his mouth to speak, but snapped it shut, looking upset. He clenched his fists, then released them and put his hands on my knees, staring down at my wrists.

"Falin…" He began, looking up to meet my gaze. I looked away, chewing on my lip. "Falin, stop." I looked at him questioningly. "Don't you think you've hurt yourself enough as it is?" he asked, and I realized I was chewing on my lip. I winced as I felt the familiar sting of an open wound, and the all-too familiar scorching flame as blood touched my ice-cold skin.

I sniffed, reaching up and wiping the blood off with my bandaged wrists. Father's hands moved to my shoulders and I glanced up at him uncertainly. He was staring down at me with an odd expression on his face. "I'm sorry, father." I whispered. He closed his eyes, taking in deep, slow breaths, then he nodded.

"Sorry isn't good enough, Falin. The medicine is in your blood, and when you lose your blood, you lose your medicine. And we can't keep giving it to you more than recommended, because it could lose its potency. What are we to do if that happens? And that's not the only thing, Falin. You're damaging yourself. I can't let you keep doing this."

His grip had tightened over my slim shoulders, and I stared up into his black eyes, seeing my own staring back at me. "I'm sorry father." I whispered, having nothing else to say.

His face twitched and he sighed, letting his hands drop to his sides. "Very well. Since you have nothing else to say, and I cannot babysit you all day, I have no choice but to call Healer Perios to come here and keep an eye on you."

My eyes widened. He wouldn't? By the look on his face, he would. I hung my head. "But, I don't want a babysitter!" I cried.

He cocked his head. "Then think of it as having a guardian." He replied.

"Yes father." I mumbled, knowing very well that having someone walk around with me _everywhere_ I went all year would not go unnoticed by the many other students, particularly by the ones who wanted to cause trouble.

**AN: Poor Falin, he has to have a babysitter now. :( I know the feeling of instant dread of having someone watch everything you do… awful to say the least. Please review?**


	25. Year 2: Chapter 7

**Chapter seven:**

**Spilled secrets can spill blood**

**POV: Karnus Flejj**

"Malohov! Stecks! Wait up!" I called, running to catch up with my two best friends… or, at least I considered them to be my best friends. They considered me a pest. They both turned, slowing down, then picking their speed back up when they saw it was me.

"Stop, I need to talk to you!" I cried. Thinking they might get in trouble if a teacher had sent me to tell them something, they reluctantly stopped.

"What?" Molohov obviously looked like he had better things to be doing, and Stecks just looked plain mad.

"I have some pretty… interesting information." I told them with a sly grin.

They glanced at each other, both being boys of families who enjoyed a good bit of gossip. "What?" Stecks asked again, slightly more interested.

"If I tell you, will you let me hang out with you guys?" I asked.

"Depends on how good a story it is." Molohov told me, leaning against the railing.

I glanced around. "Okay, but you didn't hear this from me." I leaned forward, lowering my voice. "You know that freak, Cerenbus?" They both nodded. "Well," I gave them another sly grin. "Turns out, he's got some pretty big secrets… Snape too." They both suddenly looked very interested.

I stopped when a few other students went by. "Is there somewhere else we can talk?" I asked.

"The Slytherin common room should be empty right now." Molohov offered. I nodded. We weren't too far from it, and we all kept low profiles and casual demeanors as we headed there.

"Okay." I said, plopping down on the couch and they sat across from me, both leaning forward, looking eager. I grinned, leaning back casually.

"Well? Don't keep us waiting, Flejj." Stecks snarled. I nodded, also leaning forward.

"Turns out, Cerenbus is actually Snape's son." I told them in a hushed tone.

Their expressions hardened. "Prat! Don't lie to us! No one could ever love that old bat! Especially not enough to get a bloody kid out of it!"

I rolled my eyes. "Need I spell it out for you? Think about it. Cerenbus is Slytherin, he's got black hair, black, soulless eyes, he's really pale, similar features…" They were both staring at the floor, their eyes widening.

"Merlin's ghost, Falin Cerenbus is Snape's son!" Stecks cried.

"But… who's his mum?" Molohov piped up.

"I don't know, she didn't come up in the conversation. But Cerenbus has more than one secret." I grinned slyly again, having caught their interest. I leaned forward again.

"He's mental." Their eyes widened. "Yeah, a real loon. He's got problems too. He cuts. I was in the hospital wing when Snape brought him in. His wrist was all bloody and he was covered in blood and looked half dead. And there's more. He has other problems. I'm not sure what they are though, but apparently he needs some kind of medication for them. Madam Pomfrey told Snape, just as I was leaving, 'you can't hide him from the Madness forever, Severus' " I said, mocking Madam Pomfrey's voice.

They were staring at me, having caught their full attention. "This… this we need to investigate further." Stecks said, scratching the back of his head.

"I agree." Molohov said. There was silence for a few moments. "So, Flejj, welcome to the club?" he grinned at me and I smiled back.

"Excellent."

**POV: Severus Snape**

**…the next day…**

I returned to my office after a long day of classes and such, and I was tired. I just then realized I hadn't yet gotten around to calling in Perios to watch Falin. I sighed and sat down in my chair, staring absent-mindedly at a random wall. I was startled out of my thoughts when Minerva McGonagall rushed into my office without knocking on the door and fled straight to my desk.

"Is he yours?" She said in her thick Scottish accent which seemed thicker than usual probably because she sounded shocked.

I looked from my desk at my colleague. "What are you talking about, Minerva?" I asked, looking at her with a confused expression.

"Don't give me that, Severus, you know what I'm talking about. The boy! Falin, Is he yours?" She asked.

I stared at her for a moment, furrowing my brow, wondering how she found out. But then again, she was one of those damned all-knowing, all-seeing kind of witches where you could so easily replace the 'w' in witch with a 'b'.

"Yes-" The words were barely out of my mouth before she snapped out her reply.

"Good Lord, Severus, why didn't you tell me?" She demanded.

"Oh, I didn't tell you? That must mean it was none of your business." I grumbled, fixing my eyes on my desk, searching for something to work on so I could have something else to occupy my attention.

"He's your son, Severus." She said, pacing in front of my desk, ignoring my scathing reply.

"Yes, I think we just established that." I drawled while turning in my chair to look out of the window behind me after finding nothing worthwhile on my desk.

"Who is his mother?" Minerva asked quietly. I was silent for a long time.

"I don't know." I lied quietly.

"You don't know." She repeated flatly, sounding disappointed at my obvious lie, but said nothing. "How long have you known he was your son?" She asked curiously, leaning on the side of my desk and folding her arms, also staring out the window.

"I have always known." I replied, knowing the insufferable woman would try to drag the truth from me by getting me to contradict myself.

"But you don't know who the mother was, for heaven's sake, Severus, how many women could it possibly be?" She cried, earning a scowl from me.

"Few." Was my gruff response.

She narrowed her eyes, pursing her lips. "Very well, Severus, I won't make you tell me, but… why did you want to keep him a secret?" She asked.

I was silent again. "For complicated reasons I don't feel like getting into at this moment, and I fail to see how any of this is your concern." I told her defiantly.

The older woman narrowed her eyes again. "I can't believe I never realized it before, he looks just like you did at his age." Her face softened slightly and she stared blankly for a moment, as if living in the past through her memories.

I rolled my eyes, well-aware that Falin was my facsimile.

Her gaze rested on me once again, her face returning to its earlier scowl.

"How did you find out?" I asked, thinking I deserved to at least know.

"In a complicated way I don't feel like getting into at this moment, and I fail to see how it is your concern" She told me, wearily sitting down into the chair in front of my desk.

I scowled, seeing her ploy, but saying nothing.

"Falin is asking to see you." She told me, staring at me intently.

I met her gaze, worry creasing my brow. "Is he alri-"

She cut me off. "That remains to be seen." She replied gruffly.

I stood up and moved over to her. "Well? Where is he?" I demanded.

She stared at me. "The hospital wing." She replied solemnly.

She had barely finished before I was out of the room, her at my heels. "You have a lot of explaining to do, Severus. And I don't think it can wait." She told me. I ignored her, bursting into the hospital wing, my eyes scanning the room. I caught sight of my son, but he wasn't on one of the beds, bleeding to death like I thought he would be. He was over in a corner, his legs drawn to his chest, tears rolling down his cheeks and leaving red lines under his eyes like they always did, Poppy was trying to comfort him, and a random Slytherin boy was standing awkwardly to the side.

I hurried to Falin's side, pushing Poppy out of the way. Falin's gaze rested on me, his lip was quivering, eyes red. "Falin, what's wrong?" I asked softly, getting down on one knee in front of him. He stared at me, his body rocking with silent sobs, along with occasional whimpers. I put my hand on his shoulder, staring at him with concern.

"Falin, what is it?" I asked. Falin was silent, and he continued staring at me, tears flowing down his cheeks. I knew how painful they were, so I quickly wiped them away, feeling them scorch my skin. I glanced down at his arms to see that his wrists were heavily wrapped again with new bandages, and red was seeping through them. I also noticed a piece of paper he clutched in his hands. It was stained red, crumple and slightly torn with little wet drops on it from his tears.

I tried to take it but he flinched, ripping it away from me. "Falin, what is this?" I asked.

"I tried to get it too, Severus, he wouldn't let it go." Poppy told me quietly.

I ignored her, staring at my son. "Falin, please let me see it." I asked. He looked away from me, staring at the note and holding it closer to his chest, refusing to let it go.

"Falin." I said in a warning tone. He looked up at me with his deep black eyes. Reluctantly, he handed it over to me with a shaking hand. I took it and looked at it. It was a note, written in scrawled, uneven uppercase letters.

**I saw bandages on your wrists, and scars. Cut yourself deeper. No one would care, you're a loser, nobody likes you, you're an ugly loser with scars, you are a skeletal freak and stupid, with a stupid, evil father. You are worthless and a waste of space. Go slit your wrists some more. In fact, go all the way and cut your hands off!**

I looked up at him sharply, bristling with rage. Who would give him something like this?! Falin was sobbing now, holding his head in his hands and pulling at his hair, his body shaking. I slid next to him and wrapped my arms around him, handing the note to Minerva who bent down and took it.

She held it at the corners, trying to avoid the red stains and held it up so she could read it. I saw her face harden more and more with every word she read, her eyes beginning to blaze. She looked down at me coldly, also looking furious. "This, is unacceptable." Her voice was shaking with anger.

"I'm telling Albus." She growled, storming out of the room.

"Sir?" I looked up at the second-year Slytherin boy.

"Yes, Mister Praygun, what is it?" I asked wearily, hugging my sobbing son closer.

"All kinds of rumors have been spreading around the school." He said quietly. "I don't know who're spreading them, but they've been sending all kinds of notes like that to Falin." He reached into his pocket and drew out a handful of blood-stained crumpled notes.

"They fell out of Falin's notebook when I found him in the lavatory…" His eyes flicked to Falin's wrists. "W-with a knife." He murmured, handing me the notes. I took them and thanked the boy, mindful that Falin didn't see the notes as I stuffed them into my pocket. I'd read them later.

Praygun eyed us carefully. "Is… is he really your son, sir?" He asked quietly. I looked up at him sharply and he took a step back. "It… it's just, that's one of the rumors that's been spreading… sir." He murmured, staring at the floor.

"It does nothing but rot the soul to listen to and spread rumors, Praygun, you will do well to remember that." I warned him. "Yes sir." He mumbled, still staring at the floor.

I turned back to my son as he sobbed and clung to me, shaking, eyes squeezed shut, boiling hot tears scorching red lines down his cheeks. It shocked me that Falin could remain such a beautiful child even when he was in such great distress. Normal children were just plain ugly when they cried, their faces would twist unimaginably, their noses would run and be red, and it would be a mess. Falin, however, managed to remain angelic.

I hugged the beautiful child to me, rubbing the back of his head soothingly and pulling him ever closer. He buried his face in my neck, clinging to me. After a while, he calmed down, with an occasional whimper, and he was still trembling. The exhausted boy fell asleep in my arms, and I held him for a little longer to make sure he was asleep. After that, I carried him to the nearest bed and made sure he was comfortable.

I turned back to Praygun "You may go back to your classes, Mister Praygun." I told him. He nodded and started walking away. "And Mister Praygun," I called after him. He stopped and looked at me. "Remember what I said about rumors. Dangerous things, rot the soul." I reminded.

"Yes sir." With that, he left.

**POV: Fegas Praygun**

I felt guilt prick at my heart as I walked out of the hospital wing, heading for the Slytherin common room. "Well?" I was met immediately by Stecks, Molohov and Flejj. I sighed, plopping down on the leather sofa.

"We shouldn't have done that, guys." I told them.

"Oh, come on, Praygun! Don't be a prat all your life." Stecks whined.

I shook my head. "We really upset him! Besides, what you wrote was cruel!" I told them.

"What I wrote? You mean what we wrote! You wrote some of them too, Praygun." He told me darkly.

"Don't remind me." I sighed, letting my head fall back.

"We didn't come here to listen to your life regrets, Praygun, tell us what happened." Molohov demanded. I thought for a moment, then began to describe what had happened, starting from Stecks sending me to stalk Falin after we gave him the notes.

I had found him in the lavatory, in one of the stalls, slitting massive gashes into his wrists. I had yelped in surprise at how literally he had taken the note as I watched in horror at how deep the cuts were, all the way down to the bone and trying to go further. He had fallen unconscious not long after and I'd gone to get help.

He had nearly died as Madam Pomfrey gave him a blood-replenishing potion and bandaged his wrists. About ten minutes later, he had woken up and started bawling, screaming at us to stay away from him and that he wanted his father. Madam Pomfrey sent me to get Professor MacGonagall. I had barely stepped outside the wing when I ran into her.

She came in and Madam Pomfrey had told her what was going on. MacGonagall had gone and tried to comfort the boy. He had refused her. "Who's his father?" She had asked quietly, staring.

"Severus Snape." Madam Pomfrey replied softly. MacGonagall hadn't looked surprised, as I had thought she would be.

"I knew it." Was all she had murmured before rushing out of the room. Madam Pomfrey continued trying to soothe the wailing boy to no avail. And that was when Professor Snape had come in. I told them all that had happened with him.

"And then, I came here to talk to you prats without hearts, and now, I'm describing to you in detail, the pain you have caused an innocent kid." I glared at them.

"Come off it, Praygun." Flejj rolled his eyes. I glared at him.

Stecks laughed. "Priceless. Did he have all the notes we gave him?" He asked.

I nodded stiffly. "Yeah, and he read them too. They were all blood-stained. I gave them to Professor Snape."

They didn't flinch. "No worries, the notes can't be tracked, I made sure of that." Molohov said with a grin. I continued glaring at them.

"Oh come on, Praygun. Don't be such a prat. Cerenbus is a freak. He doesn't deserve to be a Slytherin." Stecks laughed.

"And you don't deserve to be alive." I snapped back. His face hardened. I stood.

"Where are you going?" He asked frostily, a little too calmly for my liking.

"To tell Professor Snape that you gave his son those notes, like I should have before this even happened." I replied, walking away.

I barely heard what he said next. "Get him."

**AN: The note in this chapter is an actual note I received sometime last year in school. Bullying is wrong! Don't do it! Cutting doesn't help, don't do it either! Please review!**


	26. Year 2: Chapter 8

**WARNING: Cutting and other triggers! Don't read if it will bother you!**

**Chapter eight:**

**Attacks; Hateful notes**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"But who attacked him?" I asked, staring at Fegas as he lay on the bed in the hospital wing, in a coma.

"We're not sure." Madam Pomfrey replied sadly. I dragged my gaze over to the bed next to Fegas'. Falin's.

I moved over to stand beside my friend. He was asleep, still recovering from his wounds. I glanced over at Professor Snape, who had been sitting at Falin's side, refusing to leave for hours upon end. He was staring down at the bloody notes, his eyes blazing. I moved my gaze back over to Fegas Praygun, who had been found on the floor in the Slytherin common room, unconscious and not breathing.

He had a concussion, broken ribs, and… was in a coma. I suspected whoever was behind his attack, was also behind the cruel notes that had been given to Falin. I moved over to stand beside Snape, plucking a random note from the pile on his lap.

**You're a waste of air. No one loves you, no one even likes you. You're stupid, and worthless. Do it, Falin. Kill yourself. Cut deeper. Don't stop.**

I winced, dropping the note and reaching for another one.

**Hey freak. We heard you're mental. What's wrong with your head? By any chance, were your parents related? Maybe that's why. You're father's too much of a prat to have won over any other woman and gotten between her-**

I stopped reading that one, as I had scanned ahead and it had gotten dirty. I dropped it back on the pile with a grim look on my face, grabbing another one, realizing it was the first one I'd read and reached for a different one.

**What up, loser? Had any good nightmares lately? I heard that you sleepwalk. And that you have nightmares that make you scream at night. What are they about? Are they about how much of a freak you are?**

I winced again, feeling anger burn within me. I'd kill them! Whoever they were… I reached and grabbed another one, reading it over, and was disgusted by how dirty and perverted it was. I dropped it without finishing it and reached for the last one.

**I bet your father hates you. Everyone else does. I bet he wishes you were never born! I bet he's plotting to kill you in your sleep. You'd like that, wouldn't you? I know I would. How about do the world a favor, huh freak? Die. DIE.**

I felt sick to my stomach, dropping the note and reaching a hand out to clutch at the bed to steady myself. Snape reached out and grasped my arm. I looked at him gratefully. I slid to the floor, drawing my knees to my chest and staring up at him.

"Who could possibly be so sick and twisted to do something like that?" I whispered.

"I don't know." Snape growled, sounding like an angry badger. Whoever wrote those notes had better pray that Snape never found out who they were. Because, if he did. He'd kill them.

**POV: Severus Snape**

I stared down at my son, feeling hatred and anger boil within me. I would kill them... whoever they were. Albus had put up warnings, and was having all the students questioned, but I felt it wasn't enough. Whoever had done this, was obviously capable of hurting other students as well. My gaze flicked over to Praygun. My mind went over all the possible students it could be while I focused on my son.

I hadn't planned on having children, and I most unquestionably hadn't intended on being a single father. Almost every day, I questioned whether I had truly done the right thing, by taking Falin and Lumin, because I knew I wasn't loving enough, or considerate enough, or even gentle enough to amount to a good parent.

Only, as it turned out, it wasn't affection, or consideration, or even gentleness that Falin needed. It was acceptance, and diligence, and protection.

Acceptance, because at his tender age he was appallingly scarred, but he didn't have the capability or the proclivity to ask for help. Diligence, because he was a hostage of his own mind. Protection because, as long as the Madness remained, he would never be safe.

My mind went over one of the hateful notes that had been given to Falin, 'I bet your father hates you. Everyone else does. I bet he wishes you were never born!' I blinked, thinking about that, because now, years later, I still didn't want a child. I would never tell Falin, because he wouldn't, couldn't, understand. It wasn't because I didn't love him that I wished he'd never been born; it was because I loved him so deeply that I could not stand to see him suffer.

Falin was far too young to be aware of all the things he was aware of, and in the end, he would have to choose one of two paths for his life: He would either spend his childhood learning how to fight through the Madness while it slowly destroyed him, or give in to the pain and destroy himself. It was simply unfair that he had no other choices for his life.

I didn't know which alternative would be worse for the Falin's soul, as one might end up killing me emotionally, while the other would end up killing him. What I did know was that Falin was part of my life now – was, in fact, most of it – and I would guide him towards the path that might at least save my own soul, even if it did nothing for his.

For if the Madness succeeded in killing Falin, forcibly at my own hand, it would rip my soul into a thousand horcrux's.

I looked back down at the notes on my lap and noticed one was missing. I glanced over at Draco, and he was reading it, his face twitching, eyes blazing. He dropped it and suddenly clutched at the bed, looking like he could be sick.

I reached out a hand to steady him and he gave me an appreciative glance before sitting down on the floor. "Who could possibly be so sick and twisted to do something like that?" He whispered. "I don't know." I growled. I glanced down at the notes again. One caught my eye.

**What up, loser? Had any good nightmares lately? I heard that you sleepwalk. And that you have nightmares that make you scream at night. What are they about? Are they about how much of a freak you are?**

That led me to believe that the bullies were in my house… the Slytherin house, as no other house would be able to know that Falin had nightmares. It also meant they were a second year male. That certainly narrowed the search down quite a bit.

I stood up abruptly. "Draco, stay with Falin and Fegas." I told him icily.

"Where are you going?" He asked, taking the chair I had vacated.

"To gather the second-year Slytherin boys, I have a feeling one of them is behind this."

**POV: Karnus Flejj**

"We shouldn't have done that, guys." I whispered, glancing around at the others in the room, making sure no one was listening. "I mean, notes are one thing, but attacking him was another." I hissed.

"Don't tell me _you're _going prat on us too?" Stecks growled.

"Oh, shut up." I grumbled.

"He's right." Perem added. I glared over at the boy who had been expelled the year before for putting many poisonous potions in Draco Malfoy's drink. For reasons unknown, he had been allowed to come back this year, and already, he was getting himself into trouble again.

"Shut up, Perem. You're lucky to be here after what you did to Malfoy last year." I snapped.

He just shrugged. "He's a daft prat, I'm in his 'posse' this year, doubt he even recognizes me, or even bothered to remember me." He laughed. I just shook my head again.

The door suddenly burst open, and Professor Snape made his entrance, robes billowing behind him, a look that could kill on his face, clutching his wand dangerously. Everyone went silent, staring. "Second-years, you are to all follow me, one at a time, to the common room, where you will be questioned, you first." He pointed to Steven Rolov. Rolov followed Snape, looking terrified.

"Ohhh, man, I bet he's onto us!" I whimpered.

"Shut up." Stecks hissed.

About five minutes later, Rolov came back in, looking shaken, but unharmed. "Terrn, you're next." He mumbled. Oliver Terrn inched forward, heading out. Another five minutes, and he came back in.

"Pergei." He whimpered, scurrying to his bed. Comonin Pergei gulped and walked out while his friends wished him luck as he left.

"What's he asking about?" One kid piped up bravely.

"We're not allowed to say." Terrn mumbled.

A few minutes later, a very relieved looking Pergei returned, unscathed. "Dramus." He called. Andrew Dramus stood up and hurried out. I felt the tensions rising, as there were only a few students left.

A few minutes later, and Dramus came back in. "Perem." He called.

Georgie sighed, standing. "Wish me luck, guys." He muttered, walking out. My eyes followed him. He was so dead.

Surprisingly though, he came back intact. "Stecks." He called. Angus Stecks got up and went out. If Snape was really inquiring about Preygun, then Stecks was dead meat.

I was doubly surprised when he came back in, until I registered the look on his face. "Flejj, Molohov." He called, his voice high-pitched and scared. I gulped jumping up and going along with Molohov.

"Damn, he's gonna kill us. Oh god, we're gonna die!" I fretted.

"Shut your trap, Flejj." Molohov hissed. "You know the art of Occlumency?" He asked as we walked down the hall.

"Yes, but I'm not that great at it…." I replied, to which he sighed.

"Great, so I'll have to block both our minds. Terrific." I felt him prodding my mind and I let him, feeling him gather all thoughts of anything we had done and drawing them to the back of my mind, behind several layers of other walls with useless information, as well as a few dark secrets I would have liked him to hide as well.

"You wanted to see us, professor Snape?" Molohov's voice was calm and collected. I concentrated my Occlumency skills on helping him hide our secret. My father was a dark wizard, and so was Stecks' and Molohov's, so we were all trained in Occlumency, but the others were obviously far more advanced at it than I.

"Yes." Professor Snape replied, his voice flat as his black eyes followed us into the room. "You are friends with Fegas Praygun, are you not?" He asked as we sat down across from him on the leather seats.

I nodded stiffly. "Yes, fine chap, have you seen him around?" Molohov asked. I glanced at him. He was a bloody good liar. I decided to let him do the talking.

"As a matter of fact, I have. He's in the hospital wing." Snape intoned.

"What? Is he okay?" Molohov feigned worry, and was very convincing. I remained silent.

"No. He's in a coma, he has a concussion and several broken ribs." He replied. I swallowed hard. I hadn't wanted him to be hurt so badly! But Stecks hadn't wanted him to give anything away. Oh why had I not said anything? Why had I gotten involved with Stecks in the first place?

I glanced at Stecks, who was also wearing a calm demeanor, very different from how he had looked when he came in to collect us. "What happened to him?" I asked, my voice wavering. I hope Snape took that as a sign of shock and worry.

"We believe he was attacked." Snape replied, staring at me. I felt him prodding my mind.

Molohov clenched his fist. "Who the hell would hurt Fegas?" He cried. "I'll kill them…" He growled.

Snape was distracted from reading me and pulled out of my mind. I tried not to look relieved. "Calm yourself, Molohov, we will find whoever is behind this and punish them accordingly." He told him.

"Yes sir." Molohov sighed, slumping in his seat.

"I need to know if you know anything about it, about who could have done it. Does Praygun have any enemies?" He asked.

"Not that we know of, Fegas gets along with everybody, even the bloody Gryffindors." Stecks replied.

Snape nodded. "And what about Slytherin? Does he get along with _everyone_ in Slytherin?" He gave us a hard look.

"Yes sir, everyone." Molohov replied. He looked at me and I just nodded.

I felt my mind being prodded again. I glanced at the others, wondering if they were having their minds poked into as well. They appeared as calm as they could be. I glanced back at professor Snape, trying to give no indication that I knew he was in my head. "Is that all you wanted sir?" I asked.

I felt him pull back out. "Yes, you may go." He replied, sounding tired. We all stood and left casually, trying not to make it seem like we were too eager to leave.

As soon as we were back in, we pounced on each other with questions. "Did he read your minds too?" I demanded.

"Did you give anything away?" Molohov asked.

"You were a little too nervous, Flejj, remember, a man with nothing to hide has no reason to be nervous." Stecks told me.

"Yes, I felt him prodding my mind too, but did _you _give anything away?" Molohov asked.

"No, I don't think so." I replied quietly. "But that was too close for comfort, guys, we need to leave Praygun and Cerenbus alone." I told them, plopping down on the foot of my bed and crossing my legs.

"We'll leave Praygun alone, but I'm not done with Cerenbus yet." Stecks said darkly.

I gave him a dirty look. "You know, telling someone to kill themselves is just as bad as killing them yourself, it's as good as murder." I growled.

"You're such a prat, Flejj." Stecks sighed, plopping down on my bed and stretching his legs out, carelessly resting his feet in my lap as if I were some kind of foot stool. I fiddled with the laces on his boots absent-mindedly. Molohov also sat down on the edge, keeping his feet on the floor.

"Don't you two have your own beds?" I grumbled, poking angrily at Stecks boots, as they were getting dirt all over my trousers. Molohov, respecting me, despite how much he despised me, got up right away, whereas Stecks remained where he was.

"Sleep on the floor, prat." He told me.

"Get off my bed." I said a little more forcefully, shoving his feet off my lap.

"Make me." He snapped back.

"Come on, Stecks, get off his bed." Molohov sighed, taking Stecks arms and yanking.

"OW! Let go." Stecks growled.

"Get. Up. Get. Up." Molohov yanked with each word.

"Ow, okay! Okay, I'm up." Stecks grumbled, getting up and yanking his arm out of Molohov's grasp.

"Sleep tight, prat." Stecks growled at me, shoving my head as he walked past.

"G'night Karnus." Molohov bid me, following Stecks. I sighed, leaning back in my bed and closing my eyes.

**AN: So, is Flejj turning good guy? And what could Perem being back mean? Trouble, perhaps? Or has he learned his lesson from last year? And what about Snape? Did he get anything from his little interrogation? Find out next! Review please!**


	27. Year 2: Chapter 9

**WARNING! Cutting, implied schizophrenia and other mental problems. Triggers! Don't read if it ill bother you!**

**Chapter nine:**

**Cornerstone**

**POV: Falin Cerenbus**

I sat in a lonely corner that morning, not bothering to join the others for breakfast. I wanted to be alone, as it would be the last time I could be for a very long while, as Perios, my psychiatrist and 'guardian' as father called her, would be coming in that day after breakfast. I had been let out of the hospital wing just that morning.

Memories flashed behind my eyes, and I allowed them, as contemplating my past was a way to pass the time, even if a foul one.

_I sat in a corner, scared and afraid, she was standing there yelling at me, and she was the one to blame for bringing me into the world in the first place. There were marks across my face, from where she had hit me. She had always said that I got it easy, but the pain said otherwise. Bruises on my back, the blood coursed through my veins and pumped out of my open wounds. In that dark old room where she beat me, there was something untamed. I was too scared to say a word, for no one knew what happened when the beast made her rounds. So I remained silent, and allowed her to do what she wanted, then waited patiently for father to come and help me. He never came._

Mother had wanted me to be her little boy. She wanted me to see her as my world. She wanted me to be all I could be. I wanted her to open her eyes and see that the bruises on my arms were not love. The pain in my eyes was not relief. Blood stained my white skin, and she did not mourn, but she grieved. She didn't grieve for me, or the pain she caused me, but for how useless I was to her. My childhood was dust in the wind to her. It meant nothing in her eyes for me to grow up and have a normal life. Or even a happy one. By the time I was three, I was long since broken into believing her ways were the ways of the world. By now, I was realizing how differently loving parents treated their children.

"But mother, I'm sorry! I am sorry I wasn't everything you wanted! I'm sorry I made you mad, I'm sorry I couldn't be the kind of child you wanted me to be!" I wailed. With shaking fingers, I pulled out my little trustworthy pocketknife. I stared down at it. As intelligent as father and Madam Pomfrey were, they surely weren't bright enough to remember to check me for sharp objects before releasing me from the hospital wing. My little way of cutting had probably never even crossed their minds in their rush to save me.

Flashbacks ran through my mind. I dropped the knife. My hands found their way to my hair. They grabbed, pulled, scratched. "STOP IT!" I screamed. The flashbacks keep coming. The knife, the blood, the Madness... _You deserve it. _The voice of my mother whispered in my head.

"I know." I whispered, tears in my eyes.

_I have to remind you, that you are evil._

"I know, I'm sorry."

_Smile, do not let them see you broken._ I smiled, I knew she was right.

She controlled my life. Not only controlled what I ate, but what I did, what I felt. _You are worthless._

"I feel very worthless."

_Look at you, you filthy little pig, you do not need more food in that fat body! _

"I haven't eaten in three days!" I pleaded, feeling of my flat stomach and running my hands over my bumpy ribcage. I tried to make the memories go away, but the flashbacks would not let me, and the voice kept raging through my skull. "Leave me alone! Please..."

_No, you deserve all of this. _

"I HATE YOU, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I screamed, risking being overheard, but not really caring.

_Never! You need me, you want me, you love me._

"I do, I know." I agreed, feeling the tears sliding again.

I fumbled around on the floor, finding my knife again and lifting it with shaking fingers. I turned the shiny object in my grasp. It was perfect. It was my only escape, the only thing balancing me on the thin line between madness and sanity. And yet, father was making me give it up. I knew he was right, of course, but part of me couldn't help but hate him for taking away my only release.

Being without it would be like being lost without being found, like being locked in a dungeon, like falling from a great height, like a sudden stop after going strong. You carry on regardless, through the never-ending, restless dreaming. Following the gifted, the special, the wonderful, the ones who never know… why were they so blind to the obvious?

I could do nothing, because I was good at nothing, and I just sat and watched as others succeed. I was invisible, useless. I was laughing while falling into the darkness. I was alive, while dead inside. They were everything, I was nothing. I was crashing, falling, slipping on thin ice, that narrow line between madness and sanity nearly broken. While others were real and whole, I was fake and broken. Fake because of my smile. Broken because of my past. Every day I pretended to be alright.

Slowly, and almost in a daze, I raised my right arm, the one I usually cut because it was easier, as I was left-handed, and put the knife there again. Slowly and carefully, I began gliding the blade across my skin in rhythmic strokes. And then I remembered father. And Draco. And Miriad. And everyone else in the world that I cared about. I was letting them down. After all they'd done for me, I was going behind their backs, and doing what they had asked me not to do. As tears ran down my face, I realized I had made a mistake. An utter suffocation, I had been trying to hold on, but the pain, the pain was too strong. Blood ran down my wrist, my eyes were going shut but I was trying to hold on while voices in my head were telling me to keep going, keep cutting deeper. I was trembling, and I felt hot tears on my cheeks as the memories continued.

I had taken the beatings because she hadn't seen I had already given up. I had carried the burden of pain because she hadn't noticed I was already beginning to fade away. "Please don't let me die, let me drop this knife! Heaven can't set me free, it is not for me! I'm evil, I deserve to go to hell!" I whispered in prayer, wondering if anyone heard. I had suffered much in life but help never came in the form of that knife. I lived, I breathed, and I would continue to stand tall and fake that smile. And for everyone who had ever bothered to care, I could not give in to relief. I would just let it continue to hurt me as always, and pretend nothing was wrong.

Shakily, I let the knife clatter to the floor, and I watched it, as if it were in slow motion. When it hit the floor, it broke, shattering just like my dreams, just like my hopes. But it was gone from my life. I would never do it again. I stared down at it, shaking and clutching my bleeding wrist. I stared at the blood that had splattered all over the floor in front of me from when the knife had hit the floor. Silently, I drew out my wand and sealed the wound on my wrist, then cleaned up the mess on the floor.

Giving up my habit was a cornerstone for me. I felt as though the change in me was greater than merely overcoming a feat all the healers had all claimed I would never be able to give up. I felt the sudden urge to do more. To change more of my destiny.

Part of me felt as though, if I could take something as big as my habit, and completely cut it out of my life, then surely, I could change the rest of my destiny as well? After all, nothing is ever set in stone, even prophesized futures have been known to be changed. I only hoped that my own prophesized fate would be merciful and allow the slight change.

My idea needed to be thought through carefully, of course, as it was not to be taken lightly. But in the end, I knew I'd end up going through with it.

**AN: I personally feel like this is one of my best chapters so far. So, what do you think Falin's big idea is? Review telling me what you thought of this chapter, what you think of the story as a whole, and what you think Falin is up to. Happy reading!**


	28. Year 2: Chapter 10

**Chapter ten:**

**To kiss the scars; family**

**POV: Miriad Hensul**

I padded quietly down the hall with some of my friends. It was morning, right after breakfast, and everyone was heading to the dorms to get their books. I, on the other hand, the only one sensible enough to already have my books with me, had a good twenty minutes to myself before potions class began.

"Miri! Miriad, wait!" I slowed, scanning the crowds to see who had called me. The voice was familiar; soft and calm. I smiled when I finally caught sight of Falin Cerenbus as he ran towards me from the direction of the dorms.

"Hey Falin." I said shyly, blushing at the handsome boy. He smiled back uncertainly, standing in front of me. I could hardly believe the small boy was a year older than me, as he was thinner than I was, and just barely as tall.

"I… I." He smiled nervously. "I just… you… you are, qu-quite beautiful." He stuttered. I blushed again, staring at the floor. By now, all the other students were past us, heading for the dorms, leaving us the only ones standing in the long hall.

Falin hesitantly reached forward with a small, pale hand and touched my cheek with a gentle stroke that felt of the most frozen ice. I pulled away slightly, my face numbed by his frigid touch, my heart fluttering wildly in my chest. He let his hand drop to his side, looking embarrassed. "Sorry." He murmured.

I stared silently at the ghostly boy before me for a moment, staring at the little red streaks under his eyes. Silently, I wondered if he'd been crying. "Who are you?" I asked quietly, curiosity lining my voice.

He looked up at me in confusion. "Falin Cerenbus…?" He began uncertainly.

"No," I interrupted him. "_Who _are you really?" I asked.

He stared at me blankly for a moment, then tipped his head to the side, regarding me in a searching manner. "A friend." He replied softly.

He smiled again. "Your eyes, they're so lovely. They whisper to me in hushed tones, much like weeping angels." He whispered, staring deep into my green orbs as I gazed right back into his hollow, black oceans of mystery and darkness. I blushed at his poetic eloquence, it was really quite cute.

He let out another tiny, curious smile, making his wraithlike appearance seem meltingly adorable. "I-I… have to go…" I whispered, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I turned and began walking quickly away.

"Wait! Miriad, W-will, w- can we talk more? Later?" he called after me. I froze in my place, then slowly turned to stare at the eerie boy with whom I was having mixed feelings for.

"No, probably not." I replied softly after staring at him for a moment.

I saw his face fall. "But… my life isn't that same without you! You… you saved me." He pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper as he dropped his gaze and his shoulders slumped. I stared at him in confusion, taking a few steps back when he took a step forward, staring at me once again.

"You've only known me for a few weeks, and only spoken with me briefly, and already you say I've saved your life?" I asked, greatly confused.

"Not saved my life, you've given it back to me." He replied softly, staring at me. I broke eye contact, staring instead at the floor. I wasn't understanding at all.

"What do you mean?" I asked. He came towards me and I stepped back so quickly I nearly tripped backwards.

He stopped, giving me and odd look. "I won't hurt you…" He almost sounded pained. I saw him edge towards me carefully. I remained rooted to the spot, eyes glued on him, heart pounding in my chest. Something about Falin frightened me more than words can describe.

He stopped in front of me, eyes fixed on mine. I struggled to control my breathing as he took a step closer and our faces were literally inches apart. I eyed him carefully. After all the rumors that had been spreading about him, I couldn't help but be wary of him.

Slowly, he pulled back the sleeve of his right arm. He reached forward with his left hand, still staring into my eyes, and took my wrist with cold fingers. Gently, he pulled my hand forward and rested it on his right wrist. I flinched when my fingers met his icy skin. I looked down and gasped before yanking his arm forward to inspect it. My eyes traveled over the many, many pale scars, some of which looked like they were still healing, others looked as recent as just healed from minutes before. With trembling fingers, I traced over them, feeling the new ones raise and the old ones dip beneath my numb fingertips.

I looked up at him with teary eyes. "So the rumors are true then?" I whispered. I saw him flinch and I silently scolded myself for being so tactless. He decided, however, to ignore my thoughtless comment and instead, clamped his tiny, icy hand over mine which was still lightly clasped over his scarred wrist.

"I stopped, for you." He whispered. Then, wordlessly, he dropped my hand and reached into his satchel. I watched, curiosity growing as he drew out his quill, and began writing on his wrist, wincing as the tip went over the still healing scars. When he was done, he pushed his pallid arm forward for me to inspect.

I took his arm and looked at it. In neatly written black ink that looked out of place on the milky white skin of his wrist, he had written;

Miriad.

My name. I looked up at him curiously. Why would he write my name on his arm? Silently, he drew back his other sleeve to reveal even more ghastly scars, all of which looked older than the ones on his right, and wrote again on his other wrist. That arm, too, he pushed forward for me to see.

Draco.

Draco Malfoy? Falin's best friend? He wrote again on his right arm, just below my name.

Lumin.

Then again on his left, below Draco's.

Father.

Soon, he had many names on both arms, which only added to my confusion;

Right arm: Miriad, Lumin, Mirianda, Susan, Kelly, Anne, Molly, Serenia  
Left arm: Draco, Father, Blaise, Randy, Richard, Gregory, Fegas, Sjaanje

I looked back up at him to see that he was staring at me intently. "What do all these names mean?" I asked him.

"They're all the people I care about." He explained softly. "Now, if I'm ever tempted to… cut, again. I'll see their names, and remember that if I do, I'll be letting them down. I'll be dishonoring them, after all they've done for me." I met his black gaze as he carefully put his quill away.

I nodded slowly, beginning to understand. "Class's about to start." I whispered, noticing as the other students were beginning to pass us in the hall again. I raised his right arm gently to place a soft kiss over the scars my name covered. As my lips met his cold skin, I felt a bolt of ice shoot through me.

He smiled carefully. And, though his eyes betrayed his weariness and pain, they also showed his bravery and strength. "Come on." I told him, locking his cold hand in mine.

"I can't." He whispered, resisting my pull.

"…why not?" I asked, hurt that he didn't want to come with me. "Potions starts in two minutes." I told him, watching the other students as they wove around us.

Falin opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a voice behind him. "There you are, Falin, come on, we're gonna be late to class." I looked up to see Draco Malfoy standing impatiently behind Falin. Falin hurriedly pulled down his sleeves and shot me a warning glare, though Draco didn't seem to notice.

"Father is having Mirianda, my sis-. Ahem, my _psychiatrist,_ come to Hogwarts to watch over me for the rest of the year." Falin grumbled in a low tone. "And I was hoping you two would accompany me to the train station." He asked, standing between us and looking at us back and forth.

Draco and I had a glaring match for a moment, then both reluctantly agreed. "But only because you're my best friend." Draco stated plainly.

"And only because you're really sweet." I added, speaking to Falin, but still glaring at Draco.

"Thanks guys." Falin smiled, looking relieved. We smiled back, then followed him out of the school after getting permission from professor Snape, whom, I noticed with surprise and a little trepidation that he followed us indiscreetly.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I stood at Falin's right side, holding his hand reassuringly while Miriad stood on his other side, holding his other hand. "Kiss goodbye freedom, Falin." Falin murmured, probably to himself.

"It won't be that bad." I tried to comfort him.

His frozen hand twitched in my grasp. "Oh yeah? Easy for you to say. You won't be the one who has a babysitter following you everywhere you go." He stared darkly at the train as it pulled into the Hogwarts station.

I heard Falin groan and I followed his gaze to a young woman of about twenty five to twenty eight but could easily pass for seventeen as she hopped off the train, wearing a white lab coat over what looked like a school uniform, and a green Slytherin tie. I recognized her as Perios, the woman who had collected Falin at platform nine and three quarters the year before.

The only different thing I noticed, was a little girl was with her, who had long, curly black hair, pale skin and green eyes. I stared at her, wondering who she was. She reminded me of someone, with her high cheek bones and sharp features, but I couldn't place it.

"Hey Falin." Perios smiled brightly, pulling a very unwilling Falin into a warm hug and planting a kiss of his pale forehead.

"Hey Miria." He mumbled, hugging her back half-heartedly. It was obvious he was delighted to see her, but even more obvious he wished she weren't there. He pulled away from her.

"Why are you wearing that?" He finally asked, watching as she let down her dark hair and replaced the lab coat with a Slytherin wizarding robe.

"You can thank your father for this idea. I'm posing as a student, slash assistant, and also your tutor, so basically, a prefect. So that way, I can be with you, without making you the prime target for bullying." She explained, stuffing her lab coat into her bag, then drawing out her wand, and, with a flick of it, she looked like she was a young girl of about twelve or thirteen. Her height, however, hadn't changed at all, which surprised me.

"It'll still be awkward when you follow me into the bathroom." Falin mumbled, drawing the little girl into a hug as well. "Hey Lumin." He murmured to the little girl who was almost the same size as him, just a little shorter.

"Huh? I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." Perios smiled, glancing over at me and Miriad. I smiled at her politely, but the scowl returned as soon as she looked back at Falin.

Falin cleared his throat."Um, nothing." He replied, his arm still over the girl's shoulder.

"Come on then, let's get back to Hogwarts, shall we? Ah, hello fa- um, _Severus_. Great to see you again." She smiled and greeted Falin's father, whom, until that moment, I hadn't realized had accompanied us.

"Hello, Miria." He replied lightly, fondness in his tone. He obviously regarded this woman highly. I looked her over carefully as she grabbed her bag once again. She was very beautiful, with long, stick straight black hair, and bright green eyes, her skin was very light, but not as pallid as Falin's. Silently, I wondered if she were Falin's mother. She resembled him. Sort of. She looked too young to be his mother, even before the aging spell, but hey, why not?

"Daddy!" The little girl, Lumin cried, rushing to professor Snape, who took her in his arms willingly and hugged her. My eyes nearly popped out of my head. Miriad and I shared a glance, and her eyes were wide too. 'daddy?!' I mouthed and she shook her head, eyes wide. No one, least of all professor Snape, offered an explanation.

Falin followed his father and Perios, looking seconds away from murdering something. He apparently decided to drag me down into the gloom and doom of his mood along with him, as he reduced his speed to walk alongside me. I would have thought nothing of it, of course, until he began randomly jabbing me in the ribs with a bony elbow every few seconds. Every time I glared at him, rubbing my sore side, he pretended to not have done it.

By the time we got back to Hogwarts, we were both in foul moods, and I was in a considerable amount of pain. Falin, however, seemed at least content that I was moping along with him. Lumin looked delighted to be there, a bright smile making her pale face seem rosy. "Yay! I get to come to Hogwarts a year early!" She sang.

"Shh, Lumin." Snape hushed her. Perios placed their bags on the floor in the hall for the house elves to put in our dorm.

"Okay, time for your sorting, Lumin." Snape smiled genuinely at the child, who was positively bursting with excitement. The private sorting was held in Dumbledore's office.

"Let's see now, ah, a Slytherin by blood, I see, plenty of joy, exuberance, energy, skill… highly advanced in witchcraft, for one so young… I'd say…. Slytherin!" The glow of pride on Snape's face almost made him seem approachable, it was odd, but strangely nice.

The sorting hat went back to sleep, as it was no longer needed, and Lumin chatted excitedly with her brother.

"All right, sweetie, what's our first class?" Perios asked, turning to Falin.

"Normally, it's potions with the second-year Gryffindors, but the professor excused us from it, so now, it's Transfigurations with an assortment of second, third and fourth-year Slytherins with the second and third-year Ravenclaws." He mumbled, fiddling with the strap on his satchel as we walked down the empty halls out of Dumbledore's office.

"Okay." She nodded. We all watched as professor Snape departed from us, heading for his classroom, leaving the five of us to slip into Transfigurations.

"Mister Malfoy, Cerenbus, and miss Hensul, you're late." Professor MacGonagall scolded, looking disapproving. "And who are they?" She asked, indicating the now young Perios and little Lumin.

"We need to talk." I hissed to Falin as we took our seats. He glared at me, but didn't reply.

"Sorry, professor, we were with professor Snape. He told me to give you this." Perios spoke for all of us as we took our seats. "Oh, and I'm Mirianda Perios, by the way, professor. I'm an exchange student. I'm here as a tutor for mister Cerenbus." She told MacGonigal as the elderly professor inspected the note.

"And I'm Illumine Cerenbus, Falin's twin sister. I was supposed to come at the start of last year, but I was ill." Lumin told professor MacGonagall importantly.

My eyes widened. Twin?! I glanced at Falin and mouthed, 'twin' Falin glared at me and shook his head. "I'll tell you later." He whispered, pulling out his books.

"Yes, yes, Severus told me you were coming, take a seat, miss Perios, miss Cerenbus." She told them absent-mindedly, waving them away from her desk. Perios nodded, then came back and hovered over me, Lumin slipped into an empty seat next to Falin so they could share their books for the time being, as she didn't have her own yet.

I looked up to see Perios scowling down at me. "I'll need to be next to Falin. You may sit with miss Hensul." She told me. I glared at her, but did as I was told, collecting my things and moving to sit next to Miriad, trying my best to ignore her.

I sighed, half-heartedly trying to transfigure a pencil into a ruler, but ended up with nothing but a flat pencil with no eraser. I sighed in frustration, trying again. Miriad attempted to assist me, but I merely ignored all her comments and tips until she gave up. Buy the end of the lesson, I had accomplished nothing worth bragging about.

"Okay, what's out next class, Falin?" Perios asked.

"Potions. Normally we would have a free period right now, but since we missed this morning's lesson, we can join the Ravenclaw second and third-years." He replied.

"Okay." She smiled and took Falin's hand in her own and ran ahead, dragging him with her, Lumin trailing behind and once again left me with Miriad, who, by that point, was ignoring me as pointedly as I was ignoring her.

I scowled as I watched them disappear down the stairs to the dungeons. Perios had only been there a couple hours, and already, she was taking my place as Falin's constant companion. Miriad seemed put-out about it too, but said nothing. I sighed and followed them into potions class.

**POV: Severus Snape**

After all that had been transpiring with the students lately in Hogwarts, with the heir of Slytherin supposedly running loose, as well as all the bullying going on with Falin and Praygun, I had felt the uncontainable desire to protect all of my students. The desire to protect Falin had always been there, of course, but it had only grown over the years as I'd gotten to know the boy better. However, no matter how much time I spent with Falin, I still felt it wasn't enough. I still felt gaps in our relationship.

I felt as though there were things he wasn't telling me. Things that could potentially put him at risk, and yet, he still wouldn't tell me. Falin and my bond had never been a strong one, as the bond with me and Lumin. Fate had allowed more time with her because she was younger. I had lost a good six years in Falin's life before I had wised up. I had been more experienced when she had come along, and she hadn't been subjected to the horrors her brother had been subjected to. I even believed I had a better relationship with Mirianda, even though, as the oldest, I had spent the least amount of time bonding with her. I cared for them all deeply, of course, as any father should. But I still felt severely lacking in the ability to properly raise them. To sit down and talk to them.

I couldn't remember the last time Falin and I had a 'heart-to-heart' as they call it. In fact, I didn't recall if we'd ever had one at all. Ever since I had rescued the boy and his sisters from his mother, he had a certain… acceptance for me, is the only way I can describe it. But nothing more. He had never been emotionally attached to me in any way.

In fact, I think he would prefer it if I interfered less in his life, but as a father who was _trying, _I had to do something of worthwhile adequacy, other than simply _be_ there if he needed me. Never before, though, had the boy actively sought me out for guidance, as Lumin often did. I usually had to be the one to go to him every once in a while purely to make sure he was alright. And even then, it was a battle of wills just to get him to admit when there was indeed a problem.

"Mister Cerenbus, stay here for a minute." I told him after class the day Mirianda and Lumin had come to Hogwarts.

Looking curious, and slightly nervous, Falin nodded and set his books back down and came up to my desk. "Sir?" He asked quietly, squaring his slender shoulders and looking me bravely in the eye.

I stared at Mirianda until she left, looking confused. "May I ask what's wrong?" I asked carefully, steeping my fingers and resting them on my desk, reverting my attention to the child fully after being sure everyone was indeed gone.

"Sir…?" He asked again, giving me a puzzled look and I cursed inwardly. I had been sure something was wrong!

"You just seemed to be in a bad mood lately, I just wanted to check up on you, Falin, you don't talk to me often… how has your year been so far?" I asked inexpertly, wondering how parents did this on a regular basis.

Falin shifted uneasily under my stare, dropping the gaze he was no longer able to hold. "W-well… Good… I suppose." He told me.

"You suppose?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Falin shifted again. "Well… it's…" It was clear he felt incredibly uncomfortable at that moment, and he kept fiddling with his tie which had apparently, in the short time since we had started the conversation, become too tight.

"It's good. I…" He chewed on his bottom lip, lost for words to say. I wanted to scold him about how childish that was, but I refrained, not wanting to say or do anything that might keep him from confiding in me.

"What about, Draco, have you talked to him since the… incident?" I asked.

Falin reached down and clasped his wrist sub-consciously, chewing on his bottom lip again. "Yeah, I talked to him." He replied haltingly, eyeing something on my desk and pretending to be engrossed in it.

"How about friends, Falin, have you been making any friends?" I asked less guardedly, desperate for him to talk.

He flicked his gaze up to me and swallowed, then dragged it to his left, the common body language for someone who's searching for a convincing lie to pull out of their head. "Yes…? Draco and I have been hanging out a lot, me and Zabini are better friends now… and… um, Hensul." He chewed on his bottom lip again.

"Miss Miriam Hensul? She's one of the first years, correct?" I asked.

"Yes, but it's Miriad." He told me quietly.

"What?" I asked.

"H-her name. It's not Miriam, it's Miriad." He told me quietly, staring at the floor, a slight blush creeping into his colorless cheeks. I stared at him for a moment before realizing that Falin fancied Miriad. I smiled mentally, then visibly faltered.

"C-can I go now?" Falin asked, almost too hopefully, looking up at me. I could have sworn I saw something flash behind his eyes, some odd emotion that didn't seem to fit in with the others. The only way I could describe it as was an almost boiling hatred, but it was gone as soon as it was there, and I dismissed it as my mind playing tricks on me. I waved him away and he spun, grabbing his books and darting out of the room, ever too eager to escape me. I silently mulled over Falin and his possible feelings for the Hensul girl. I felt my heart ache as memory of her appearance very much resembled a certain girl I had once known and loved…

Silently, I prayed Falin wouldn't get himself wrapped up in heartbreak, the way I had.

I shook myself out of the morbid thoughts and began grading the papers. I sighed. Just another day in paradise.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I rushed out of the potions classroom quickly as possible, sighing with relief as soon as I was out and away from my father's prying eyes and questions.

Part of me wanted to go back and insist that Miriad was just a friend, but I knew that would look suspicious beyond belief, and besides, it wasn't true anyway.

"Hey Falin!" I jumped, startled out of my thoughts when a sweet voice spoke to me quietly. I turned sharply to see Miriad herself shadowing me. I smiled, despite the fact that my heart was still thumping wildly. And no longer just because she'd frightened me.

"Hey Miri." I said shyly, sub-consciously hugging my books tighter. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in our next class?" I asked.

She blushed visibly and stared at the floor. "Well, it's just… professor Snape seems really scary, and I wanted to make sure you didn't get into too much trouble… so I waited for you." She told me quietly, making my heart swell.

"Thanks." I said appreciatively.

"Well, are you in trouble or something?" She asked, looking up at me and brushing a red curl from her pretty face. I smiled, taking in her perfect round, rosy cheeks, heart shaped jaw line, emerald eyes and ruby hair. She was perfect.

"Not really, he just wanted to ask me a few things." I replied quite truthfully, glancing over at Draco and Mirianda who were a little distance away, and seemed to be in a heated argument. I ignored them, turning back to Miriad.

"You look a lot like him, you know that?" She laughed. "Silly though, isn't it? He's an old bat and you're really sweet." She said so softly it made me blush. Her smile instantly vanished and she covered her mouth in a childish gesture, her large, innocent eyes widening slightly. "That was mean of me, I didn't mean it, please don't tell him I said that?" She whispered pleadingly, clutching desperately at the sleeve of my robe, a simply adorable little pout on her face that reminded me of Lumin's puppy-dog face that she gave me whenever she wanted something. It made me melt.

I smirked, eyeing her carefully. "I think I can be persuaded to keep silent." I told her quietly, gauging her reaction.

Her eyes lit up. "How? Anything! Just _please _don't tell?" She begged. I smiled again and stopped walking. She did too and we both stood in the middle of the empty hall, staring at each other.

I took in her full image again, weighing my options. She was beautiful for as young as we both were, she would only be about a year younger than I, not much difference. You would never tell, because she was as tall as I, or more of, I was as short as she. Her long hair reached down to her elbows, cascading from her scalp in a waterfall of delicate orange-tinted curls. Her skin was soft and light with a healthy glow, much in contrast to my own sickly appearance. Her face had many freckles which added to her aura of complete innocence, while my skin remained spotless. Her long, childlike lashes completed the loveliness of her speckled green eyes. She was an angel.

I took her hand carefully in my own, noting her puzzled expression and deepening blush. "Miriad…" I began. "I… like you… a lot…" I was speaking haltingly, and was no longer looking at her, my eyes trained on her small hand clasped in my equally small one, and I couldn't help but notice with a flutter of joy that she hadn't pulled back from my glacial touch.

"Will you… would you… I mean… do you want to-" I was thoroughly frustrated with myself now. I was interrupted by soft lips on my cheek, and the normal dull cold was temporarily heated by my blush.

"Yes, Falin." She whispered, incredibly close. I looked up to meet her eyes, and they were smiling back at mine.

I smiled, relief washing over me. "So, you won't tell Snape, right?" She questioned as we continued walking towards our next class, holding hands carefully.

"Maybe…" I teased. She giggled and shoved me lightly and I stumbled playfully for her benefit. We laughed easily together. I was so pleased to finally have a girlfriend. Draco would be so jealous… And then Mirianda ruined the moment by angrily snatching my hand and yanking me away from Miriad.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I had given that Perios a piece of my mind as soon as Falin had been held up by his father.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I cried at her, ignoring the stares we were getting from passing students.

She gave me a puzzled look. "What do you mean?" She cried.

"I'm Falin's best friend! You can't just push me out of his life like this!" I screamed at her.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" Lumin yelled at me, yanking on my arm. I ignored her, as I wasn't as peeved with her as I was Perios.

"I'm not, 'pushing you out' what ever made you believe that?" She demanded.

"Ever since you've been here, you've been with Falin, making sure I couldn't sit with him, talk to him, or be with him, and we've only been through two classes!" I hissed.

She glared at me, then turned to see Falin and Miriad smiling and walking hand in hand. "I'm with him so often, because he happens to be my _brother." _She hissed.

She then ran over to them, snatching Falin's hand and yanking him after her. He glanced back at us in confusion, but Perios only increased her pace. "Come, Lumin." Perios hissed. Lumin glanced back at me, a scowl on her face as she raced after them.

"Bitch!" I screamed after Perios, calling her a very derogatory name. Miriad came to stand beside me and sighed before following them.

Only then, had it dawned on me what Perios had said… brother? What? She was like… at _least _twenty five! Before the aging potion anyway. And Snape was only thirty two! -I know he _looked _older… but I happened to know his exact age for some odd reason… don't ask- I stared after them, eye twitching. Even if she were as young as she looked, seventeen, -again, _before _she used the aging spell- that would mean Snape had fathered her when he was only fifteen! Huuuuh? I shook myself out of the temporary stupor and sluggishly followed them to our next class.

By the end of the day, Miriad and I were speaking to one another, but only to vent about how much we hated Perios.

"Falin had to sit with her at lunch, all the way at the empty end of the table, next to the seventh-years." Miriad grumbled.

"Poor Falin hasn't been in a bathroom all day! I bet it's because he's scared Perios with follow him in." I complained to her as we sat alone on the leather couches in the common room, glaring over at Perios as she helped Falin and Lumin with their homework at the tables across the room.

"Why do I get the feeling she's purposely cutting us out of his life?" She whined.

"I feel the same way." I agreed.

"What can we do about it? I don't want to lose Falin." She sighed.

"I don't know, and I don't want to lose him either." I replied solemnly.

"Maybe if we complained to professor Dumbledore…?" She suggested hopefully.

I shook my head. "More like Snape." I replied.

"Snape? What say in this matter does he have?" She asked, giving me a curious look.

"Honestly, Hensul, haven't you heard the rumors that have been going around?" I turned to her, giving her and odd look.

"I try not to." She told me softly. "But yes, I have."

I sighed, turning back to stare at Falin. "Well, they're true. Some of them, anyway." I sighed, figuring I could trust her, since Falin did.

"Which ones?" She asked. I opened my mouth to respond, but found that the words stuck in my throat. I was physically unable to tell her.

I then remembered the Fidelius charm Falin had used on me the year before, to hide his secret within me. "I can't tell you." I grumbled, glaring over at Falin, Lumin and Perios again.

"Doesn't matter. I know the rumor that involves Snape. He's Falin's father, isn't he?" She murmured, also staring at Falin, but with less open hostility than I.

I didn't reply, mostly because I couldn't have even if I wanted to, but also because I didn't need to. Falin was an answer in himself. He was too much like his father for his own good. Soon, it wouldn't be a secret anymore.

**AN: WHEW! What a long chapter! 4,514 words! Wow! I hope you enjoyed that one, because it was a special treat for you since I haven't updated all week. Sorry about that, by the way, my coauthor wasn't able to help me, and I was stuck with unfinished chapters.**

**So, who do you think Illumine is? And is Perios really Falin's sister? And is she intentionally pushing Draco and Miriad away from Falin? Please review!**


	29. Year 2: Chapter 11

**Chapter eleven:**

**Sister mine**

**POV: Illumine Shalom Cerenbus**

"You still haven't told me who she is." The blonde boy hissed, indicating me as I clung to my older brother.

"I already told you, she's my sister." Falin replied quietly.

"But not your twin, she's obviously younger than you, even though she's almost the same size." The blonde boy eyed me and I glared at him, hating the fact that they were talking about me as though I weren't even there.

"No, she's not. She's only just ten, but Mirianda couldn't leave her at home by herself, so as of now, she's my twin sister." Falin replied.

"You do realize that means she'll be three years ahead of her grade? She'll be learning stuff above her magical level, above her abilities." The blonde argued.

"I can handle it!" I spat at the arrogant boy, standing defiantly beside my small brother. "Besides, father and Mirianda have been working with me on my magic, I'm far more advanced than any other ten-year-old witch or wizard." I told him haughtily. He glared at me.

"No you're not!" Falin shot at me and I glared at him. "She just like to _think _she's better than everyone else." I glared at him a moment longer before realizing he was just teasing. Truthfully, I was no better than any other witch or wizard, but there was _no way _I would let this snobby blonde boy think so little of me.

"Okay, fine. One thing though… why is it that you never mentioned having a sister?" The blonde boy asked, glaring at Falin. I felt Falin stiffen beside me.

"You never asked?" He tried pathetically. I rolled my eyes. The blonde boy stared at Falin, eyes drooping, a bored look on his face, arms crossed.

"Okay, fine. I wasn't allowed to tell you about her, okay? You wouldn't have found out about her at all until next year at least, had father not insisted Miranda come and be my 'guardian'." He growled.

"Fine. But while we're on the topic of 'Miranda', is she your sister too?!" He demanded. I flinched, wondering how Falin would answer _that _one.

"Yes." He replied quietly. I cringed, and somewhere in the world, an angel had fallen from the sky as he revealed the truth.

"Bu… she's so old! And Snape's so young!" He cried.

Falin raised an eyebrow at him. "Father's older than Miranda…" He started.

"No, no, I mean, she's too old to be his daughter, and he's too young to be her father! He's thirty-two, right?" Falin nodded.

"And she's like, twenty-five, right?" He asked again.

Falin let out a short laugh. "Hardly. She's fourteen."

The blonde's eyes nearly popped out of his skull. "WHAT? Oh god, could this get any more confusing!" He cried to the ceiling.

"Do you have a volume control or something? Keep it down." Falin hissed, eyeing the other Slytherins as they eyed us right back.

"Look, I'd love to sit here and listen to your whole family story, but I have a feeling it's going to go right over my head." The blonde boy grumbled. "Why the hell does she look like she could be in her twenties?" He hissed.

"The reason she looked so old at the train station, is because she uses aging spells. She's a bloody genius, and very advanced in healing magic, but they wouldn't allow her to work as a medicine practitioner because she was so young. So she poses as an adult woman. She was never even going to come to Hogwarts, she's been learning at a school for more advanced witches and wizards in the healing arts... She knows practically nothing about anything we're learning here at Hogwarts, her only skills are healing and the aging spell." Falin explained.

The blonde boy just made a face and slumped back on the bed. "Well, your family's just full of bloody prodigies, isn't it?" He hissed.

Falin scrunched up his nose. "Shove it, my family's no more special than anyone else. We just act like it." He grumbled.

I stared at the blonde boy, then, not wanting to have to think of him as 'the blonde boy' anymore, I turned to him. "What's your name?" I asked suddenly, changing the topic.

He glanced at me. "Draco Malfoy." He grumbled. "Uh-oh, prat alert, Perios is coming." He sighed, looking up.

I glared at him. "She's not a prat!" I hissed and he glared right back. We were all sitting on Falin's bed in the second-year boys dorm. Mirianda had somehow –don't ask- managed to get a bed next to his. However the hell she managed to pull that off, I will never know. I myself was stuck in the girls dorms, however, but was just hanging out with Falin until bedtime.

"Hey Falin, Lumi." Mirianda smiled at us and sat down next to us on Falin's bed, ignoring the cold glares Draco and the red-headed girl were sending her.

"And what's your name?" I asked the red-head, not wanting to think of her by her hair color either.

"Miriad Hensul." She smiled at me, much nicer than Draco.

"I'm Illumine, but you can call me Lumin. Or Lumi, but only if I like you, and I like you, so you can call me Lumi, but maybe wait until we know each other better, but then, you can always-"

"Lumi." Falin said in a warning tone.

I blushed. I had a habit of running away with myself when talking. "Sorry." I mumbled.

Miriad giggled. "You can call me Miri if you like." She told me.

I perked up, immediately forgetting Falin's scolding. "That's what we call Miranda! Well, actually we call her Miria, but they're still really close, cause of the 'M', and the 'I' and the 'r'. They'd be exactly the same if the 'a' were an 'I' or if the 'I' were an 'a'…" I stopped, blushing again.

"You're doing it again." Falin sighed.

Miriad giggled again.

"Oops, sorry." I chuckled nervously, embarrassed. I sighed and lay back against my brother, feeling the reassuring icy touch as he wrapped his arms around me. "I missed you, Falin." I murmured, nuzzling my face into his chest.

"I missed you too, lil'Lumi." He murmured.

I saw Draco roll his eyes out of the corner of my vision. I turned my head and glared at him. "What? Don't you love your siblings?" I hissed.

"I'm an only child, thank Merlin." He replied, scowling.

"You don't mean that, every child needs someone to play with." I told him.

"I played with my cousins until they left, they were boring." He sighed, leaning against the bedpost.

"How long ago was that?" I challenged.

"I don't-"

I interrupted him. "How long?" I demanded.

He stared at me in exasperation. "I don't know, six or seven years?" He guessed.

I laughed. "Thanks, that answers my question." I told him, snuggling back up to my cold brother.

"Lumi, stop teasing Draco." Falin told me, but I could tell he was trying not to laugh as well. Draco glared at us both.

Miriad sighed, kicking her heels rhythmically against the bed frame. "So…" She began quietly.

"This is awkward." Draco complained, scowling.

"Hush, you're making it even more awkward." Miriad quieted him.

"Not." Draco retorted.

"Are." She shot right back.

"Not!" Draco cried.

"Are too!" Miriad sang.

I giggled, hugging Falin's thin form. "Are they always like this?" I asked, looking up at him.

He smiled down at me, his familiar black eyes welcoming and loving. "Yes." He replied, amusement in his tone.

I smiled and hugged him again, enjoying the feeling of his cold skin beneath his thin shirt touching mine. It was so familiar. It brought back many memories. Most of them were of me comforting him when he was sad, or in pain. But they were still happy, because we had each other.

I sighed and fell asleep long before the others had.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I smiled down at my little sister as she slept in my arms. I glanced at my timepiece. It was past curfew. I sighed, thinking about waking her, but remembered how tired she probably was. I didn't want to do that. So, instead, I stooped down, sliding one arm under her knees and the other under her back, gently picking her up –bridal style, much to Draco amusement- and carried her. I found it difficult, as I had never been a particularly strong person, and she was a healthy child, weighing the right amount. I'm fairly certain she weighed more than I did, but I managed simply because she was small.

Little Lumin curled up on my arms, waking only long enough to wrap her arms around my neck and nuzzle her face into the crook of my neck. I found her to be a joy to carry, feeling her healthy warmth against me, contrasting starkly with my sickly cold. She had never minded how cool to the touch I was, in fact, seemed to like it.

I tapped on the door to the second-year girl dorms. Someone came and opened it. It was a girl I didn't recognize. She was tall, blonde and pretty, with startlingly bright blue eyes. She stared at me. "What?" She asked.

"My sister fell asleep, so I was just bringing her to her dorm." I explained softly. The girl just nodded and stepped aside, opening the door all the way so I could come in.

I was all-too aware of all the stares I was getting as I carried my little sister over to the only empty bed and gently laid her down. She curled up and fell back to sleep right away, poor thing was exhausted. I smiled, pulling the covers up over her and brushed her curly black hair out of her eyes. "Night, Lil'Lumi." I murmured, pressing my lips softly against her forehead. I saw her smile in her sleep.

I walked out, ignoring the other girls as their eyes followed me.

**POV: Maribel Litlley**

"Stupid boys, they'll use just about any excuse to get into the girls dorms these days." I sighed, closing the door behind him as he left.

"I don't know, Mari, his 'excuse' seemed pretty legit to me." Meeoni Llione giggled, indicating the sleeping child who looked much too young to be a first-year, let alone a second.

I shrugged, plopping down on my bed. Meeoni Llione, Samina Sletonet, Salome Sulnyer and Ketzia Vordentia all crowded around me, some bold enough to sit alongside me on my bed, others only daring to sit at my feet on the floor, while the other girls who refused to follow me as their rightful leader sulked over in the corner.

"He was really cute." Ketzia, the pureblooded slut of our group commented out of the blue. But then, that was normal for her.

"But he's Falin Cerenbus, he's the one all those creepy rumors are about!" Salome, the half-blood gossip piped up.

"Honestly, do you really think any of those are true?" Samina sighed. She was the pureblooded pessimist, AKA, killjoy, otherwise known as 'bring me proof or I don't believe it, and even then, I don't care'

"We shouldn't be listening to rumors, I heard they rot your teeth." Salome, the pure-blooded dimbo, the really, really slow one of the group, added.

We all turned to stare at her. "No, that's sweets. Sweets rot your teeth. _Rumors _rot your soul." Meeoni corrected. She was the half-blooded picky one, always correcting our mistakes and picking on every detail.

"I thought that tumors rotted your soul." Salome said in her silky, childish voice.

I sighed, shaking my head. This was why I was the pure-blooded ringleader. The smart one. None of them would last a day without me.

Outside our clique, Pansy Parkinson was the ringleader, the others all adored her. Fortunately for me, the slut had only managed to gather one or two girls in the dorm to be her followers, but all her followers happened to be every other slut or dimbo of the century. I stared over at Cerenbus. She was the new girl. She hadn't been sucked into Parkinson's web of lies yet. I could still turn her.

"I have a job for you guys." I told them in a hushed tone, staring over at Pansy the other girls as they whispered and gossiped. My clique scooted closer, looking eager. "We have to get Cerenbus in our group. We can't let Parkinson get her. As of now, our group has more girls than Pansy's. We have the chance to get one more girl in our group, and get the upper hand, okay?" They all nodded.

"So here's the plan…"

**AN: Whatya think? Will Lumin join Maribel's little clique? And can Maribel, Salome, Ketzia, Samina and Meeoni be trusted? Review please!**


	30. Year 2: Chapter 12

**Chapter twelve:**

**The Hate**

**POV: Mirianda Perios Snape**

"Why do girls have to travel in packs? It's bloody annoying." Draco sighed, eying a group of Slytherin girls as they whispered and walked.

"Maybe they feel safer that way." Falin replied. "Speaking of girls, have you seen Miriad or Lumin?" Falin asked as a side note, glancing at me and Draco.

I shook my head, clutching my books. "I don't know where Hensul is, but Lumin is in the hospital wing. She woke up not feeling well somewhere around dawn this morning and one of the girls took her there." I told them.

Falin rounded on me. "Is she alright?" He demanded, grabbing my arms so forcefully I nearly dropped my books.

"Yes! Falin, she's fine. Just a stomachache, but the nurse thought it best if she skipped breakfast. She's still in the hospital wing, eating some foods that won't be too rough on her stomach. Calm down." I told him, resting a hand gently on his slim shoulder.

He sighed. "Sorry." He murmured, adjusting the strap on his satchel and continued walking again, his head down. I narrowed my eyes at him, then drew out my medical journal. I scanned the page, making a few notes, then checking off a few symptoms, glancing at my brother every so often before closing it and stuffing it back in my satchel.

I caught Falin's eye and he was glaring at me. "Don't look at me like that, Falin, you know I have to keep track of your symptoms and behavior, it's for your own good." He glared at me, but said nothing, looking away and speeding up.

"What I don't get," Draco began, changing the subject. "Is how in the fiery blazes of hell you managed to be allowed to stay in the second-year boys dormitory." He turned to me and I smirked.

"Long story. But I promise I'll tell you later, right now, I'm hungry, so let's hurry up or we'll miss breakfast."

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I scowled at Perios, who seemed to have forgotten our argument. But I hadn't forgotten it. I was still mad at her, and she didn't seem to notice or care. I sighed, slipping into my usual seat, back facing the wall closest so that I was facing the other tables. From my exalted spot, I had a perfect view of the Gryffindor table, allowing me to have a glaring match with Potter through breakfast, a challenge we both wordlessly accepted, and one neither of us missed. It had been going on since the start of first year.

After breakfast, it was off to potions class, where Falin was delighted to see Miriad, though he remained in a bad mood for some odd reason. I assumed it had something to do with his little sister being sick. After potions, we had Transfigurations, where Falin and a Gryffindor third year got into a wild argument. Fists were thrown, along with books and half-transfigured objects, though professor MacGonagall stopped the fight by taking fifty points from Slytherin and Gryffindor.

I tried asking Falin what the argument had been about, but he wouldn't tell me. After that, it was time for Quidditch.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Oh, come on! Plleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaasssseee!?"

"Not a chance." Falin shook his head at me, scowling. I had asked him to come and try out for the team, but he refused, claiming he was afraid of heights.

"Merlin, if I had known you were such a coward, I don't know if I would have befriended you." I teased, but I was still peeved he wouldn't at least come and watch me play.

"Says the one who ran at the sight of Hagrid the first time you saw him. And again with Filch." I scowled as he grinned at me.

"You're afraid of Hagrid? He's the sweetest thing." Perios piped up, giving me and odd look.

I glared at her. "No." I retorted rudely. "He just frightened me, the first time I saw him. That's all." I brushed off my Quidditch robes in a defiant manner.

"Sure." Falin grinned.

"Watch it, it's not a good idea to mock someone who has a broom in his hands." I threatened.

"What are you going to do, hit me with it?" He laughed.

"No, but I could using a sticking charm to glue you to it and then make it fly." I grinned at the horrified look he gave me.

"You wouldn't!" He cried.

I laughed. "I might." I shook my head. "I got to go, time for training. I'm the new seeker you know." I waved to them before running off to catch up with the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team as they waited for me.

"All set? Let's go." We headed for the Quidditch pitch to see that the bloody Gryffindor Quidditch team had arrived at the same time.

"I don't believe this." I heard one of them say. "What do you think you're doing, Flint?" One of them asked.

"Quidditch practice." He replied.

"I booked the pitch for Gryffindor today." Wood told us.

We grouped behind Flint. "Easy Wood, I've got a note." He handed him a parchment.

Wood snatched it, glaring at us before dragging his gaze down to the note and reading it out loud. "I, professor Severus Snape, hereby give the Slytherin team permission to practice today, on the need to train their new seeker.'" Wood looked up from reading it. "You've got a new seeker. Who?" He asked, rolling it up.

The group stepped aside so that I could come forward, scowling at the mob of Quidditch-player wannabes. "Malfoy?" Potter cried incredulously.

"That's right Potter." I spat his name out. "And that's not the only thing that's new this year." I grinned, pushing my broom forward slightly, wanting so much to rub his nose in it.

"Those are Nimbus two-thousand and ones! How did you get those?!" Weasley cried.

We turned to him. "They were a gift, from Draco's father." Flint grinned, showing his mouthful of grotesquely large buck teeth.

"You see Weasley, unlike some, _my_ father can afford the _best_." I smirked at the red head.

"At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to _buy_ their way in. They got in on pure talent." That bloody Granger piped up.

I glared at her, moving over to stand in front of her. "No one asked your opinion, you filthy little mudblood." I spat at her, glaring. She glared right back.

"You'll pay for that one, Malfoy!" Weasley growled. Pushing Granger out of his way, he stood in front of me, pulling out his wand. "Eat slugs!" He cried. My eyes widened as he waved his wand and there was a burst of light.

It only took me two seconds to realize what had happened. His spell had backfired and hit him instead. I grinned, laughing while the pathetic Gryffindors ran to their pathetic friend's side. I smirked, pleased his stupid spell had backfired. I hadn't been expecting the bloody red-head to draw out his wand, and I certainly hadn't had enough time to get my own out to defend myself. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to have to be gagging on slugs like Weasley was.

I smirked at Potter as he purposely bumped my shoulder as he rushed past, guiding a green-faced Weasley off the pitch.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

**…a few hours later…**

"Hey Lumi. How are you feeling?" I asked, smiling at my little sister and rubbing her back reassuringly.

She smiled up at me weakly. "My tummy's still a little queasy. Madam Pomfrey says I might have eaten too many sweets last night." She told me.

I laughed. "Well _that's _not a possibility, now is it?" I said sarcastically, grinning at her. She shook her head and pushed me weakly.

"Tease." She grumbled.

"Okay, I just wanted to check on you, I really need to get to my next class, father's already on my case about being late to my classes enough as it is." I told her, pulling her into a gentle hug, careful not to squeeze her.

"Kay." She murmured. I smiled and kissed her warm forehead, then grabbed my bag and headed out.

I sighed, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my wizard robes, staring at the floor and walking slowly. I didn't much feel like getting to class. I just wanted to go do something. Preferably something dangerous. I wanted to laugh danger in the face, to take something innocent and strangle the life out of it, just the way it had happened to me. I had been innocent, and the life was slowly being strangled out of me. I could feel it.

It was an odd feeling, and it came on so suddenly. I had been feeling it all day, and had felt a great rush of it that morning when Mirianda had told me Lumin was in the hospital wing. I had grabbed Mirianda, ready to hurt her even though she wasn't at fault. I had felt terrible about it afterwards, but had just shook off the odd feeling of hate that had been boiling through me ever since I woke up that morning after a few particularly bad nightmares.

I shook it off and entered the great room, where everyone else was gathering, and stood next to Draco while professor Lockheart strode on one of the tables, asking in a conceited manner if everyone could see and hear him. I wasn't paying attention, though. I was too busy trying to tame the burning fire of hate that was swelling through me at that moment.

"Let me introduce, my assistant. Professor Snape." I was brought back to the present when I heard my father's name mentioned. The whole of the students turned to stare as the dark form of my father stepped up onto the table at the far end, the black cloak he normally wore left behind. "He has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration. Now I don't want any of you youngsters to worry… you'll still have your potions master when I'm through with him. Never fear." He put on a sickeningly broad smile that somehow charmed all the girls. I rolled my eyes, resentment for the man rolling through my mind.

I wanted to shout at him that my father could whip his sorry arse any day, but of course, I couldn't very well do that. "Rip his bloody doll head off." I breathed, wanting to see someone get hurt. As the two professors drew out their wands and saluted to each other, turning and taking several long steps back, then facing each other again, wands at the ready.

Father wore a bored expression, staring at the cocky look on Lockheart's face. I knew he'd wipe that smirk off in no time. "One, two, three-" the words were barely out of Lockheart's mouth before father growled out the spell that rendered Lockheart defenseless, knocking him off his feet for good measure.

The man flew back a good five feet, hitting his back on the table with a thud and lay there for a few seconds, groaning. A wide smirk took its place on my face, only succeeding in making me look rather shifty, as my eyes were still narrowed in anger and my fists were clenched tightly at my sides. Lockheart let out a tiny moan as he sat up and got to his feet, warily heading back towards the dark man who'd nearly blown him to kingdom come. He chuckled nervously, trying to hide it. "An excellent idea to show them that, professor Snape, but if you don't mind my saying, it was… pretty obvious, at what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you, it would have been too easy." He was coming towards him in quick, meaningful strides now, a look on his face that claimed he knew what he was doing, but I could see through it.

"Perhaps it would be prudent, to first teach the students to block unfriendly spells… _professor._" Came father's calm, ground-out reply, his hands folded neatly in front of him, wand clutched lightly. I smirked again when I saw the small smirk on father's face grow, then disappear altogether. Another Snape family trait. The ability to smirk the briefest of smirks that no one would see if they didn't watch for it.

"An excellent suggestion, professor Snape," Lockheart turned around, eying the Gryffindor half of the room. "Uhh, let's have a volunteer pair, uhh, Potter! Weasley, how 'bout you?" He smiled. I frowned. They were best friends, they wouldn't hurt each other, no one would get hurt! Boring!

"Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells." Father cut in. "We'll be sending potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox." I frowned. Oh. Well that would have been cool. "Might I suggest someone from my own house?" Father put out his hands in a way that said, 'just a suggestion' when Lockheart looked back at him as Potter climbed onto the table. "Malfoy, perhaps?" He turned abruptly, shooting his thumb over his shoulder to tell Draco to get on up there. I pushed the boy who had pressed himself up against me.

"No, no I don't want to." He breathed urgently in my ear, clinging to my arm.

"Coward! Go." I hissed, shoving him. He stumbled forward, climbing up onto the table as well, putting on a scowling mask, drawing out his wand. He sauntered towards Potter briskly, with what I could only imagine was a fake smirk on his face. I dearly hoped he wouldn't make a fool of himself and at least send Potter to the hospital wing, even if not in a matchbox.

"Wands at the ready!" Lockheart called, to which both boys responded by raising their wands in front of their faces.

"Scared Potter?" I just barely heard Draco's spiteful taunt.

"You, wish." Potter replied, and they both saluted their wands, then turned to take a few steps back. I caught sight of the scowl that was now on Draco's face.

"Come on, Draco, you can do it." I murmured, clenching my fist around my own wand, wishing father had chosen me to go up against Potter instead. I knew Draco couldn't handle pressure like this very well, and his cowardess and cockiness was only going to make it worse. They stopped and turned back to each other, wands at the ready.

"On the count of three, cast your charms to disarm your opponent, _only _to disarm. We don't want any accidents here." Lockheart told them as they glared at each other from opposite sides of the long table. "One…" I saw it coming, Draco was going to do something foolish. "…two…" Just as I suspected, Draco didn't wait for three, instead, shot out a disarming spell at two, sending Potter flying.

Draco straightened, smirking. I smirked as well and he glanced over at me. I gave him a nod of approval and he went back to smirking triumphantly at Harry. Crabbe, standing next to me all out laughed. I saw Draco's smirk vanish as soon as Potter jumped to his feet, casting another disarming spell, sending Draco spinning through the air to land unceremoniously on his hind end, much to the other student's amusement. I just shook my head as my father scowled, bending down and snatching Draco by the back of his collar, pulling him to his feet, then thrusting him back into the fight.

"I said disarm only!" Lockheart reminded as he saw the flustered look on Draco's face.

"Serpensortia!" Oh god, he didn't? As I saw a Snake shoot forward from his wand, I realized, he indeed, had. The room was silent, with a few murmurs of surprise, Draco looking extremely pleased with himself.

Potter lowered his wand. "Don't move, Potter, I'll get rid of it for you." Father pushed past Draco, striding purposely forward toward the serpent as it advanced on the boy. I caught sight of the disappointed look on Draco's face when father didn't praise him for performing the complex spell.

"Allow me, professor Snape." Father stopped in his tracks, narrowing his eyes, a look of annoyance claiming his face as he watched Lockheart take out his wand.

The spell he used, I knew for sure would not get rid of it, only send it flying through the air. And fly it did. When the snake hit the table again, it was mad, searching for something to take it's anger out on. I stared at it, feeling its anger pump through my veins like the venom of the very snake before me. I could relate to its anger and frustration, it's need to take it all out on a nearby victim.

Potter moved forward, speaking in Parceltongue to the snake. I felt anger burn within me again, making me sick to the point where I couldn't even be surprised by the learning of the knowledge that Potter was a Parcelmouth. I stumbled back, away from the others, feeling dizzy. I quickly left the room, hearing the spell that I knew burned the snake into nonexistence, cast by my father, but not really noticing.

I felt very ill now, my anger throbbing through my veins, angrily tearing through my body like flames. I walked briskly down the hall, turning down a random corridor, my heart thumping wildly, aware of my blood as it throbbed through my veins.

I closed my eyes, trying to shake off the feeling. It was like knives of fire running through my blood, making me shake in my skin. I felt the itching _need _to reach for my wand and wreak havoc on something, anything. I clenched my fists, making a dead stop in the empty hallway, squeezing my eyes shut and panting, blind fury pulsing through my body. Why was I so angry? I had nothing to be mad about!

I hurried to the dorm and crawled in bed, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to ban the feelings. I soon fell fast asleep.

**AN:**


	31. Year 2: Chapter 13

**Chapter thirteen:**

**Nightmare**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

_I saw the cold grey eyes of my teacher as he pulled me closer, forcing his lips on mine. I whimpered, trying to get away from him. Suddenly, his grey eyes turned black, and his brown hair grew darker and darker until it was midnight black. I was staring up at my best friend, Falin Cerenbus Snape as he stared down at me hungrily, his eyes filled with the same madness that had been there that day when he'd attacked me, a year before._

_"F-Falin?" I whimpered as he kissed hungrily at my face and neck. He didn't reply. "Falin, please stop." I whimpered. Falin only took my soft whine as a sign to continue. I flinched when Falin's lips met mine in a long, hungry kiss, and I began squirming wildly. Falin, now angered, growled. "Still! Dray hold still!" he cried in his demented voice, and, in a flash, he raised the glass and brought it down._

_I shrieked as I felt it graze my skin jerkily as his arm was grabbed by an unknown force. I screamed, feeling blood pour from my arm and I was grabbed and yanked away from Falin as he screamed with all the voices of hell, writhing angrily as though possessed. Sobs gushed from my lips as fast as the blood gushed from my arm._

"Draco!" I flashed my eyes open, panting and staring up into the black eyes of Falin. But they weren't staring at me hungrily as they had been in the dream. They were calm and concerned.

I sat up quickly in the semi-darkness, panting as my heart thumped rapidly in my chest, sweat dripping down my face along with tears. Falin put a hand on my shoulder, staring at me. "What's wrong? Nightmare?" he guessed. I nodded briskly. "I know how you feel. What about?" He asked, sitting next to me and rubbing my back comfortingly.

Even though he was touching me innocently, I couldn't help but remember the way his hands had grasped at me ruthlessly that day in the hospital wing, his lips hungrily devouring my face in lust-filled kisses. I shifted away from him self-consciously, my heart pounding, twisting desperately to avoid body contact of any form.

He stared at me searchingly, making me feel uncomfortable. "What's wrong?" He asked quietly. I just shook my head, resting my chin on my knees as I drew them to my chest and hugged them.

I could feel, just by his silence that he wanted desperately to delve into my mind and find out just what was bothering me, but, to his credit, he didn't.

I glanced at him nervously every so often, expecting to see the hunger burning in his eyes each time. But it was never there. "Was… I, in your dream?" He asked quietly, reading my body language. I hesitated. Then nodded quickly.

"What was I doing?" He asked, sitting next to me, his feet on the floor and staring at them. I glanced around nervously at the other beds in the room, afraid of listening ears. He noticed. "Come on." He whispered, taking my hand and leading me out to the common room, where we made ourselves comfortable on the couches.

I sat on one end, my feet up in front of me facing him while he did the same on the other side. "Okay. Talk to me buddy." He smiled reassuringly. I swallowed hard, hugging my knees and staring at his hands as he crossed his legs and held them comfortably in front of him.

"Well…" I began haltingly describing to him about how the dream had started out, with my teacher kissing me and touching me like he did in real life. "But then…" I hesitated. "His… eyes. They're grey. They… started getting darker." I stared at his nightshirt carefully, flicking them up to his black eyes, then flinching and looking back down at his pale hands.

"And… his brown hair… also got darker, and turned black… and, he, he got younger. Until… until." I swallowed and I felt he knew what I was about to say.

"Until he became me." Falin guessed quietly. I nodded, staring at my hands this time. I looked up after a long period of silence to see him sitting there, a pained look on his face as he stared at his hands, fiddling with a loose thread on his sleeve.

"Father, never told me exactly what I did to you that day… when I… lost my mind." He glanced up at me and I nodded. "I've been asking him, but he won't tell me. He said I needed to ask you. And if you really wanted to tell me, you would." He murmured. I nodded again.

I swallowed, then, with great difficulty, I began explaining to him, just exactly what he'd done, starting with nibbling on my ear to kissing me on the lips and grazing me with the glass. When I'd finished, he looked thoroughly ashamed, and the silence felt overwhelmingly awkward.

"I had… nightmares about it, the last two weeks of school last year. But, they changed as soon as I got back home, because my teacher began…" I swallowed, not wanting to finish the sentence, and not needing to anyway, as Falin knew what my teacher did. "He's… not really my 'teacher' anymore. He taught me before I was old enough to go to Hogwarts. He's more of a tutor now." I murmured. Falin nodded.

"Father keeps him on because he doesn't ask for pay, he just asks to have a room in our house and to be allowed to join us for meals. Also because he's a good teacher. He knows everything about magic… and other things." I whispered the last part. The silence hung over us again, making me shiver and cling to myself, remembering the long, cold nights we'd spent locked out in the common room.

Part of me wanted to do it again sometime, but another part feared closeness to Falin in any way, manner or form as I remembered how close our bodies had been. It had been innocent brotherly comfort, and there had been nothing sexual about it. But my twisted mind would no longer be able to see it like that after the sexual way Falin had hugged and touched me that day in the hospital wing when he'd lost his mind.

I shivered again, moving sub-consciously away from him. He noticed and sat silently, rubbing slowly and monotonously at his arm. After a while of breathing clouds, we both agreed silently that we should get back to bed.

"Draco?" Falin whispered as we climbed into our beds.

"Yeah?" I asked as I snuggled under the covers, staring over as he did the same in his bed.

"I'm sorry."

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I stared blindly at the ceiling, longing to go to sleep. I had to wait until everyone else was asleep before I could, but it only left me time to feel the drag of depression weighing me down. During the long moments of near-silence, with the occasional giggle as friends whispered until their eyes could no longer stay open, I thought of the horrible nightmares plaguing Draco's mind thanks to me.

It was just as I had feared. My problem was starting to affect those around me, especially the ones I loved most.

Once I was sure everyone was finally asleep, I crept silently out of my bed and headed for my father's room where I knew he sat, awake, waiting for me, just like every other night. I padded in silently, closing the door behind me, I stared blindly at my bare feet, rather than risk dragging my gaze to meet my father's.

"Falin." Was all he said. I dipped my head respectfully, though it was hard to do when my head was already hanging low. "What's wrong?" Father asked as I heard the tap of a glass vial being set down. I didn't reply, I just stood there, content on the distance between us.

"Come here." He had probably intended on sounding gentle, but many years of barking orders to disobedient students had made it come out as a demand that needed to be met properly and right away, so I forced my feet to shuffle closer to him and put my pallid hand in his own as it was outstretched for said purpose.

He didn't flinch from my touch, as he had grown used to the dull cold. I felt the warmth of his hand burn through my own, causing an uncomfortable numbness to take place. He pulled me closer to him and I stared awkwardly at his knees as he sat in his desk chair.

I felt his searching gaze, his prodding mind as it lingered outside my presence, desperate to break through my delicate barriers, though he had learned to respect my mind and how fragile a place it really was and never delved in without my consent.

He placed his other hand on top of mine, even though his one hand was fully effective in closing completely over my small grasp. I glanced up at him and saw true confusion there. "Falin." He sighed, almost wearily, and I could sense it coming. The talk.

"You know, even though I am a strict father and teacher, I am, furthermost and always will be, your _father._" He said the world with a little difficulty, as though he still had trouble accepting it, even after all these years. I wanted to tell him to get straight to the point, as I always hated it when he tried too hard to be tentative and tip-toe around my emotions, but I just let him continue, gave him the pleasure of thinking, or hoping really that he was a good father for doing such.

"You, do realize, that you can talk to me, right? About… anything." He asked awkwardly.

I shifted slightly, unsure how one was supposed to reassure their parent that he was doing a good enough job and that nothing was wrong. "Of course." I managed a little more gruffly than I'd anticipated. He took it as a meaning that I was just saying that to get him to lay off me. In a way, I was, but he took it to a fuller extent.

I found it touching, and a bit out of character, for the stern man to try his best to talk softly and gently to me. It simply wasn't in his nature to talk to children with such care, but he put in the extra effort with me. And I loved him for it, more than I could ever hate myself.

The tension in my shoulders had steadily grown, however, as the tension in the air grew thicker. Sometimes, he tried so hard, that I just wished he didn't try at all. Of course, I never truly meant it. I always relished the extra attention I'd get from him whenever he thought something was wrong and needed his full interest. I enjoyed watching his strained patience.

I had always thought that I had a fairly good relationship with my father. He _was_ strict at times, but he was there when I needed him, no matter that he hadn't been there when I'd needed him most… but that was in the past, and he'd brought me away from all that. My full focus needed to be intent on the present. Not the past, not the future, it did no good to dwell on the haunting memories or painful things to come, it was the present that mattered.

"Falin, please look at me." He almost begged, breaking the silence but only adding to the tension in the room. I bit my lip and lifted my head, forcing black stare to meet black stare. I saw true misery in his eyes, as though the thought of already starting to lose his son damaged him more ways than he could express through one simple word or gesture. But I could see it in his eyes.

His eyes were almost level with mine when he was sitting, just a little taller, but I still found him imposing.

He moved the hand that had been covering mine and brushed a bit of stray midnight hair from my eyes, stroking it back several times before it stayed put. Even then, his hand lingered over my sickly pale skin, unsure, but willing to try. He swallowed, his eyes searching mine, willing me to let him know what was on my mind.

I felt his shaking hand brush my face as he pulled it away. The original gesture, though sweet and fatherly, had been awkward and unpracticed. Father had never been a sentimental person, or one to use physical contact to express himself. It pained me to see him try so hard, and fail so miserably right before my very eyes.

"Falin… please?" He asked.

I let my gaze drop again. "Just give me the bloody potions." I whispered, intending to sound scathing, to let him know I was mad at him deep down inside. But I couldn't do that to him, not when he was trying so hard. His hand slipped away from mine slowly, in a defeated manner, and he picked up each vial, one at a time, giving in to my wishes to not confide in him, hurtful as it was to him.

I pulled the sleeve to my nightshirt up, revealing the healing bruises, and old scars that seemed to have been from another lifetime ago, and held my arm out for him. He paused when he noticed all the names I had written on my arm, also seeing 'father' there, but didn't say anything about it. He placed my arm firmly on his desk and injected the orange serum into my vein, receiving a pained whimper from me.

He then gave me the sleep-draught and I drank it down easily, very well used to the foul taste. I set the empty vial down carefully, then lifted a hand to clutch at my bruised and punctured vein. "Goodnight father." I told him without meeting his gaze. He caught my arm before I was able to escape him for the night.

I looked back at him tiredly, already feeling the sleep-draught doing its wonders. "Goodnight Falin." He whispered, before drawing me into a very faltering hug that I leaned away from determinedly. He sighed and let me go and I escaped him, quickly heading for the door, feeling his eyes on me the whole time.

As I closed the door, I caught a peek of my father, leaning his elbows on the desk and holding his head in his hands tiredly.

**AN: So there you go! Just another little insiders look at the father/son relationship! :D Please let me know if you think Sev was in character enough! :D GUYS! Please, I REALLY need to know what you think of this story! Please review!**


	32. Year 2: Chapter 14

**Chapter fourteen:**

**The Period of Darkness**

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I was walking alone down the corridor towards Transfigurations class right after potions. Mirianda was walking Lumin back to the hospital wing, because she had fallen ill to her stomach again just before we were about to leave for breakfast. Draco, whom had been supposed to walk with me to class, had been forced to also go to the hospital wing, as some stupid first-year Gryffndor girl had spilled some kind of volatile potion all over his hands, and they had turned an odd purple-ish color and had begun to burn.

Therefore, I was completely alone as I walked down the empty hall.

I had the sudden urge to hurt someone. To do unspeakable things to them. I closed my eyes, trying to ban the feelings again. I wanted to take someone and just… just, hurt them! I blinked my eyes open, panting. I felt a rush of unexplainable adrenaline, pumping my hate and pulling it to the surface. It was such a sudden shock of it that I stumbled, steadying myself on the nearest stone wall. I swallowed hard, feeling shaky from all the energy that was pumping through my body. I once again got the feeling that I wanted to strangle the life out of an innocent being the same way it had been done to me. I clenched my fists, my hand itching to reach for my wand and destroy something. Something that had done nothing wrong. I wanted to take my anger out on something, anything that happened along, unsuspecting.

My chance came in the form of a first-year Hufflepuff boy, walking briskly down the hall, muttering to himself about 'being late for class' I stepped in his way, glaring at him darkly, my head down, eyes narrowed and blazing. He was small, but to be fair, was the same size as me. He stopped in his tracks, looking frightened regardless of the fact that I wasn't towering over him, like many other bullies probably did.

"S-scuse me." He murmured, trying to go around me. I got in his way again, a dark look on my face. He stared at me in fear and I drew out my wand.

**POV: Severus Snape**

"Do you know who attacked you?" I asked the frightened boy as he lay on a bed in the Hospital Wing, shaking and bleeding. He stared at me and I tried to soften my features, so as to not scare him, but I was desperate to know. I was still shaken from learning the day before that Potter could speak Parceltongue. It wasn't a common gift.

"Leave the boy alone, Severus, can't you see he's frightened?" Poppy glared at me, hugging the shaking boy.

I scowled at her. "Poppy, we need to know who's behind these attacks." I growled.

"I doubt this attack had anything to do with the Heir of Slytherin, if that's what you're thinking, Severus." She told me.

I shook my head. "No, this is just a school bully." I agreed.

She sighed, then nodded, turning to the little Hufflepuff first-year. "Dear, do you know who hurt you?" She asked. He stared at her for a moment, then nodded rapidly.

"Who?" I shot out and Poppy glared at me.

"Who was it, sweetie, can you identify them?" Poppy asked softly.

The boy nodded again. "I-it was a S-slytherin… he… was small, a-and, had black hair. And, h-his skin was white and it was ice cold when he touched me. He looked like a ghost." He whimpered. I blanched. He had just described Falin perfectly. Why would Falin beat up a first-year Hufflepuff?! It wasn't like him to take advantage of the weak.

"Excuse me. I need to go have a talk with Falin." I murmured to Poppy, who had also paled considerably. I hurried out, going at a swift pace through the hall, not noticing as the students rushed out of my way, hurrying to take different corridors like they usually did when they saw me storming down one. Only this time, I wasn't just in a bad mood, I was mad.

I didn't even have to glance at my timepiece to know that Falin was in Charms at that time of day. I threw the door open with a bang, ignoring how silent the room became as everyone craned their necks to stare at me. _"FALIN CERENBUS!_ Come here, _right now!" _I demanded, my voice booming in the room. I glared a hole in Falin as he scrambled to his feet, shuffling over to me. I grabbed him by the back of the collar of his shirt and began propelling him forward at an unreasonable pace, not bothering to offer an explanation or apology to Filius for the interruption, and ignoring the sudden eruption of excited chatter as I left the room.

"Father-" Falin whimpered as I dragged him and he had to scramble his feet to keep up with my angry pace. I remained in a grim silence as I dragged him through the halls. All the students stared at Falin, looking genuinely frightened for the wide-eyed boy. I didn't stop until we were in my office. I thrust him forward into the chair and he stumbled, collapsing in the chair and staring up at me with wide eyes.

"Father! What's wrong?" He cried.

"Did you or did you not attack Casin Conner, the first-year Hufflepuff boy?" I growled at him, getting down in his face to stare him in the eyes so that I'd _know _if he were lying.

Falin's eyes were wide and he was breathing heavily. "N-no..." he started.

I grabbed the front of his shirt. "Don't lie to me boy!" I ground out. I could feel his heart pounding against his chest as my hand clutched the front of his shirt.

"Yes." He hung his head.

"Why?" I demanded.

"I don't know!" He cried, shoving my hands away with such force I hadn't known he was capable of. He stood up abruptly, causing the chair to slide back. He glared at me defiantly, his eyes flashing. He drew out his wand and pointed at me. He opened his mouth to cry out a spell.

"Expeliarmus!" I cried, knocking the wand out of his grasp.

His hand flailed in the air for a moment, trying to keep his hold, but the wand was already gone. Angered, he leapt at me, screaming and clawing. His little attack reminded me painfully of once when he was a child, when we first learned he had a mental illness. "Falin! Stop!" I cried, wrapping my arms around his thin form and holding him tight.

"No! Let go!" He shrieked. He writhed in my arms, then, realizing he was stuck, he leaned down to bite my hand, but I remembered his little trick from last time and reached up to clamp my hand at his neck, pushing his body against mine strongly, so one arm was wrapped around his body and the other held his face against my chest. He whimpered, squirming weakly.

"Calm down." I told him again. He stopped struggling, panting heavily "What's wrong? Did you take your medicine this morning?" I asked him quietly. He was silent for a long time, still and silent, the only movement was his chest and shoulders rising and falling rapidly with his breathing. He nodded rapidly after a moment, then was still again.

"Father?" His voice was choked by the sound I knew meant he was ready to burst into tears.

"Yes Falin?" I asked softly, gently.

"I think it's started. The fifth stage." He whispered, his voice thick with tears. I felt a drop of scolding hot blood fall on my hand that was clamped over his neck. I winced, but didn't dare move my hand to brush it away.

"I think it has too." I told him quietly. I felt his body rock with a sob.

"I just want to be normal." He whispered.

"I know, I know." I murmured, crouching down so that I was his height, pulling the crying boy to me. I held him close, stroking his baby soft midnight hair. "Come on, let's get you to madam Pomfrey."

**POV: Harry Potter**

"What do you think Snape wanted with Cerenbus?" I asked curiously, poking at my food at lunch.

"I've never been so scared in my life, when he burst in there, his eyes blazing." Ron shuddered, his mouth full of food.

"I hope he's okay." Hermione sighed.

"Isn't he the same kid that was possessed last year?" Ron asked, his mouth still full.

"He wasn't possessed, Ron, he had a very serious mental illness. It's horrible." Hermione scolded, looking downcast.

"You're pathetic, Hermione. First you were sympathizing with Draco Malfoy, and now it's the lunatic." Ron sighed, putting another huge bite into his mouth.  
Hermione glared at him. "Ronald Weasley! That's very rude! He's not a lunatic." She hissed.

He just shrugged and kept eating.

"I wonder what Snape wanted." I interrupted before they could start arguing again.

"He was obviously furious." Hermione shrugged helplessly. I sighed, thinking about all the things that were happening. What with the heir of Slytherin running around, and students being attacked, a furious Snape and a few other crazy things; we had a full year ahead of us.

**POV: Albus Dumbledore**

"Severus, I know how hard this has been on you, why don't you take the rest of the day off? So you can have a nice long weekend with your son. Take your boy home, rest, relax." I told him with a note of seriousness I hadn't used in a while.

Severus sighed wearily, slumping down in the seat on my office. "I don't know Albus. I don't know what to do, we've taken him to every healer, every specialist on the Madness, and they all say the same thing. The all say the best they can do is 'temporary relief' and 'temporary cures' and 'temporary this' and 'temporary that'. Temporary, temporary, temporary! It's driving me mad! I want to _do_ something more than just temporary! I want to help him! I want to get rid of his problem completely!" He cried pleadingly.

I sighed, closing my eyes and steepling my boney fingers. After a moment of silence, I reopened my eyes and peered at the troubled young man through my half moon spectacles. "In life, there are things we can and can't do, Severus. Some things, are just beyond our control. You have to accept that the best you can do, _is _temporary. Doing anything more is simply beyond your abilities."

Severus shook his head, not accepting my response. "But I w_ant _to do more! Why is there no lasting cure?" He pleaded. "I have labored countless hours in my lab trying to find something, anything to help him, and so far, I've found absolutely nothing! And Mirianda, oh my sweet Mirianda, she's spent half her life working with patients with the same mental illness, spent so many of her days not being a normal child, locked up in a lab with other professionals, and she's no closer to finding anything than I am!" He cried.

"Severus, listen to me. There are things in life that are simply unchangeable. Things that are left to chance, and things that are left to fate. Your son, is tragically been sucked into the cruel grasp of fate. You have to accept that you can do no more than you already are." I tried to convince him.

Severus sighed, shaking his head slowly, his eyes downcast. "You want me, to accept the fact that my son is dying, before his time. And I'm not willing to do that." He growled at me. "Falin, is convinced he's evil. He hit the fifth stage today. He attacked a student." He told me quietly. I didn't respond, remaining visibly blank, but inside, my mind was reeling. I opened my mouth to speak."They're both fine, Albus." Severus interrupted, anticipating my question. "But as I said, Falin is convinced he's utterly sinful. And, no matter what I say, he will not accept anything else. If there, is nothing I can do to get rid him of the Madness, I want to… to at least be there for Falin, to help him. I know he's having trouble dealing with this." He murmured.

"As I said before, Severus, take the day off early, I'll find someone else to teach potions. Take Falin home, bond with him. Let him know you're there for him." I told him.

He sighed again. "Thank you, Albus." He said wearily. I smiled at him sadly.

**AN: So, whaty'a think? Can Sevie-poo save his son from this Madness? Please review!**


	33. Year 2: Chapter 15

**Chapter fifteen:**

**Bitterness; My Family**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"It'll be okay Falin." Lumin murmured, hugging her brother and sitting next to him on the bed in the hospital wing, their legs dangling from the side. Falin just nodded, looking glum.

"So, explain it to me again?" I turned to professor Snape, who was standing by his children, a blank expression on his face.

"There are… stages, of the illness Falin has." He began quietly, watching his son, who's face scrunched up as his father spoke. "The most recent stage is known at the period of darkness. It's where the person begins to experience dark thoughts and have the need to do dark things." He sighed.

"It's a sign of how _evil_ I am." Falin snapped bitterly.

"You're not evil, Falin." Lumin murmured to her brother, hugging him closer.

"No, you're not." I agreed, putting a bandaged hand on his shoulder and rubbing it reassuringly. My hands were only slightly healed from the bloody Gryffindor first-year who'd spilled some kind of potion over them earlier.

"I am-" Falin argued.

"You're _not." _Snape interrupted his son, looking at him seriously. "You didn't attack him on your own accord."

Falin glared up at his father. "But I could have stopped any time I liked. I was aware the whole time, and I _enjoyed _it." The fire disappeared from behind his eyes and he stared blankly ahead. "I enjoyed it." He whispered, his body shaking slightly.

Snape interrupted his son again. "The Headmaster has given me permission to take you home early, Falin. We're going to take the weekend and have a long talk… we've been needing one for a while now." He told his son quietly. Falin nodded slowly and slid off the bed gingerly.

"But what about us?" Lumin asked, looking up at her father with her big green eyes.

"You will stay here with Mirianda." He told her.

Lumin pouted, but agreed. "But I want to see mum, and Susan and Kelly and Serenia." She grumbled, also slipping off the bed.

"Come on Falin, we'll apparate after we get out of the school grounds." Snape held out his hand and Falin hesitantly slipped his into it.

"When will you be coming back?" Lumin asked.

"We'll be gone over the weekend, so Monday." He replied.

Lumin pouted again, looking incredibly cute while she grabbed her father's free hand and hung on it. "But I just got here! I wanted to stay with you! I haven't seen you since summer break! And even then, you weren't home long." She whined.

"I'll be back on Monday." He promised.

Lumin pouted again, hanging on her father's arm. He pulled his arm out of her grasp and put it around his slim daughter, hugging her. "I'll see you in three days." He murmured. She slipped her arms around him briefly, then turned to hug her brother. He pushed her away.

She stared at him, looking confused. "Wha-" She began. He gave her a dark look, pushing her further away.

Snape glanced at his son who was walking ahead, shoulders hunched and tensed up. Snape sighed and shook his head. "Be good." He told his daughter, squeezing her hand as he walked passed. I came up beside her as she stared after her family, her shoulders drooping.

"You okay?" I murmured. She was silent for a long time. I put a bandaged hand on her shoulder and she jumped, seeming to break out of a daze.

She looked at me, then pulled her arms up over her chest and crossed them. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine." She murmured, pulling away from my hand.

"Come on, Lumi, let's get back to the dorm." Miriad murmured, taking her hand and gently pulling her. I watched them as they left.

Perios sighed and came to stand next to me, her arms folded over her chest. "Come on, Draco." She sighed. "You have classes to get to." She grabbed my bag and handed it to me, then grabbed her own and brushed past me. I sighed, throwing the bag over my shoulder and followed her out.

**POV: Mirianda Perios Snape**

"Father, wait! Father!" I called after father and Falin as they were almost completely out of the castle. They both stopped and glanced back at me as I ran to catch up with them.

"Do you want me to come with you, or what?" I asked, panting and glancing down at Falin, who wore a scowl on his face.

"Stay with Illumine." Father told me, also glancing down at his son.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"We're fine." He insisted.

I glanced at Falin again. "Father, I really think I should-" He interrupted me.

"I know you're the expert here, Mirianda, but Falin and I really need to have some alone time together." He told me harshly, then, seeing my expression, softened his tone a bit, resting a hand on my shoulder. "Thank you, but Falin and I need this, I'll owl you if I need you." He took his son's hand, stepping just beyond the wards surrounding the castle and disapperated. I sighed, shaking my head.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

We apparated to the back yard of an old, empty house in our town. The town of Devil's Abode. I know it's not a great name, but it's a great town. Quiet, not-too busy streets, quaint, old buildings that weren't too close together, an old playground just in the middle of the town square, old, cobblestone streets in the busiest part of town, and dusty dirt roads for the rest, surprisingly friendly people, -with exception of old man Rhoorest, but then, no one was sure what his deal was. He was just creepy.

I sighed, holding hands with my father as we trudged down the familiar dirt road towards that familiar old house I had grown up in. Indeed, I had spent the last six years of my life in the old place, but it was still nice. Annenia kept it under control. Oh, that's right. Annenia. She was our muggle landlord, and also… father's wife.

I was only about six when we moved into the old place with the muggle family. At the time, the place had felt foreign and scary. But now, it felt more like home than anywhere else. As we neared the home, I noticed that Annenia, or Anne, as she liked to be called, was out in the yard, working on her garden, little four year old Serenia 'helping' her, though all she was doing was getting in the way. As Annenia moved to pluck a weed, she caught sight of us walking down the road and she straightened, a broad smile going over her pretty face.

"Severus! Falin! Good to see you! What are you doing back? Aren't you supposed to be at Hogwarts?" She greeted us both with a warm, motherly hug, kissing her husband. I smiled, despite my mood and hugged the cheerful woman back. As usual, she smelled of the earth, rich and sweet, with a mixture of peach that I so loved. The woman was practically a mother to me, ever since my own mum… well, I'll not get into that right now.

"Daddy!" Serenia jumped up and hugged her father, then turned to me. I hugged her back reluctantly. I really did love Serenia, though she was only my half sister, daughter to father and Annenia, not father and… my mum.

"Everything's okay, I hope?" Annenia glanced up at father, wrapping her arms around him.

I looked back to catch his expression. It was serious. "I'll tell you later, Annenia." He told her gently but firmly, resting his lips on her forehead briefly.

The woman just smiled and nodded. "Well, come in! Come in, the girl's are at school, but they'll be back soon." She picked up Serenia and walked us into the house, and I noticed right away that she'd rearranged the furniture again.

"Come have a seat." She invited and we sat down and made ourselves comfortable. After all, it _was _our home of six years. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. I had really been homesick the first year at Hogwarts. "Tea, Sev'?" She offered.

"No, thank you." Father smiled.

"What about you, hun, tea? Lemonade?" She asked.

"No thank you." I murmured as graciously as possible, but it was difficult being in the mood I was in. Serenia crawled over to me and climbed into my lap. I did my best to be kind to the little girl.

I studied her familiar features, wondering if she'd grown any since I had last seen her, about a month or so, before Hogwarts had started up again. She was the same, pretty little child with dark, _dark_ blue eyes, almost a navy blue. A mixture of Annenia's dark blue eyes and fathers black eyes. Her hair was straight, and a very dark brown, almost black but not quite, a mixture of Annenia's dark brown hair and father's black. She was a lovely little girl, and I couldn't help but adore her. She had been the tying point between our two families. The thing that brought us together and made us a family. She was the cornerstone to the foundations of our family, keeping us together, because she was caught in the middle. A child of both families, related by blood to all of us. I drew comfort from the fact that our family's bond was so strong, just because of a mere child.

"Well, I have housework to be getting to, there's food in the fridge and the cabinets, just help yourselves if you get hungry." Annenia smiled, knowing we would, then walked back out after plucking up a protesting Serenia. I stared after the woman. She and father had fallen in love about four or five years back, after her first husband, Randy died. All of the children on both sides of the family had protested the romance, except for Kelly. As the oldest, she knew the most about such things. She said we were being selfish by trying to keep them from loving each other. Because both had a broken heart that needed mending. And each had the power and the will to mend the other's. And so, our two families merged and became one.

"Come on, let's get to our half." Father murmured, standing. I stood as well and we headed to the half of the house that was 'ours' The house was large, and half of it was made specifically so that guests could have a kitchen, bathroom, master bedroom, a small children's room and a small sitting room. It was identical to the other half, only a bit smaller. It had been our main place of residing for the first year we were there, until mother left, and Randy died, and father and Annenia fell in love. So much had changed, I realized, even though everything in the actual house was the same.

We went in and closed the door, entering the kitchen and sitting in the familiar chairs. I looked around to see it was exactly the same as we'd left it. I sighed, leaning back in my chair and closing my eyes. It felt good to be home. "Falin." I snapped my eyes open and glared at my father on the other side. "Tell me what you're feeling." He asked quietly.

I hesitated before I began. "I'm just so… angry. And, there's absolutely nothing to be angry about. But, it's just like, anger is just… boiling through me. And I want, _so badly_, to hurt something. It's like an itch you just _have _to scratch or it'll drive you mad. I can't really explain it!" I sighed.

"You just did." He told me reassuringly. "We both knew this stage would come eventually." He stared at me seriously, his voice low. I stared at the table, my fists clenched. "Quite frankly I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier than it did. But now that it's happened, we should be grateful that it will be over soon. It's just a period, it's a non-lasting symptom." He murmured.

I was silent. Wordlessly, father rose and went out of the room, into the sitting room just to the side of the kitchen. He came back in a few seconds with a large book in his grasp. "Remember this?" He asked mirthlessly, with a wry smile on his face as he plopped the heavy book on the table with a thud. I coughed as it threw up dust.

"How could I forget it?" I grumbled, glaring at the offending book.

"The Mooney Madness and what it does, by Mirianda Perios." Father read out the title every time, though I begged him not to. It was annoying. I had long since stopped, as I knew it did no good, he read it anyway. The book was written by Mirianda, my older sister no less. She had been obsessed with my illness since she was old enough to understand what it was. Most of the reason she knew so much about medicine was because of her obsession with the Madness, and, during all the time she'd spent researching it, had learned a great deal of other things as well, completely ignoring all other types of magic, her main focus was on healing.

Father opened the book and checked the index, his finger sliding down the page and stopped over 'stage five: the dark period' it was near the middle of the book. "Page four-hundred and six." He murmured, flipping until he reached it. He cleared his throat and began reading.

"Stage five: The Dark Period. – Also known as the period of darkness. The victim will begin to take on dark tendencies, such as dark thoughts and practices. Victims have been known to be unreliable, brash, mean, or even cruel during this stage. Victims have described feeling unexplainable hatred towards others, and extreme annoyance or irritation towards things they can normally tolerate. Could be harmful to both victim and those surrounding, but doesn't usually last more than a few months. The symptoms can be reduced by medication, daily meditation and therapy. In the worst cases, the victims have been known to violently attack other persons. It's best to keep them confined during the worst parts of this stage to avoid accidents."

I was silent as he read, drinking in every word. When he stopped, I looked up. "Great, so I have to stay here for a few months until the bloody stage goes away?" I grumbled, more irritated by the situation than I normally would have been, but coping with it better because of the medicine Mirianda had prescribed and helped father brew.

"It depends on how badly it impinges you." He replied. "So far, after taking the extra medication, you've only been in a foul mood. If you think you can handle it, you can go back. But if you don't, by no means think that I'm forcing you to. You can stay here if you like." He told me. I thought it over for a while.

"I think I want to stay here." I finally decided.

He nodded. "Very well, I'll arrange to have Mirianda come back to relieve me on Monday." He told me, closing the heavy book.

"It seems a shame, dragging her all the way back here. I mean, she only just got to Hogwarts what, yesterday?" I asked.

"It was actually three days ago; and yes, I have to admit, it was ill-timing, but there's no way we could have known you were going to hit the fifth stage today." He told me quietly. "And there's nothing we can do about it."

I was silent again. "Why? Why is there never anything we can do about it? Do you know how many times I've heard that term, 'there's nothing we can do'? How many times I've heard 'we can do nothing more' or 'you're doing the best you can, and that's all you can do' or 'nothing else can be done'? Do you know how bloody discouraging that is?" I cried, flailing my arms wildly for emphasis. "It's damn depressing." I muttered, folding my arms over the table and resting my chin on them.

He stared at me solemnly, choosing to ignore my coarse language. "I know, Falin. It's frustrating. I had a similar conversation with professor Dumbledore earlier, only I was the one needing reassurance. I was the one complaining about never being able to do better than temporary. I want so desperately to help you, Falin. But no matter how _bloody_ discouraging, or _damn_ depressing it is," I struggled not to giggle when he swore. It was weird hearing him swear, as he didn't do it often. "it _is _the best we can do, and we have to at least be grateful for the blessings we do have. We could be a lot worse off, you know that right?" I glared at him.

"How?" I grumbled moodily.

"Well, what if we couldn't afford medicine to keep the Madness at bay? You'd have died long ago from it. Or what if your sisters had it too? What if-"

I interrupted him. "Okay, okay, I get it." I muttered crossly. He stared at me solemnly, seeming to be somewhere else, as if he were in deep thought. I recognized his deep thought face anywhere.

While his mind was occupied, I delved into it, reaching for whatever I could find. Once again, I stumbled across a few snippets of recent conversation.

_…I don't remember inviting a class discussion, shut up and get back to work. _–Typical father.

_Ah, good morning Severus. How are you this fine evening? – _Typical Dumbledore. Sickeningly sweet and formal.

_There are things in life that are simply unchangeable. Things that are left to chance, and things that are left to fate. Your son, is tragically been sucked into the cruel grasp of fate. You have to accept that you can do no more than you already are. _–Dumbledore. And there it was again, the dreaded 'no more can be done than that which you are already doing'.

_I-it was a S-slytherin… he… was small, a-and, had black hair. And, h-his skin was white and it was ice cold when he touched me. He looked like a ghost. _– the voice was painfully familiar, that of the Hufflepuff boy I had injured earlier. I really did feel bad about that.

_No! Let me go! _– I was startled to hear my own voice, and even more surprised that I barely remembered that moment, I had been almost lost in the boiling hatred, that I hadn't really known what I was doing. I blinked, and suddenly, I was back in the kitchen, father staring at me after gently pushing me out of his mind.

**POV: Severus Snape**

"I still don't know how you manage to get past my barriers." I grumbled, knowing full-well why he was able, but choosing to not remember that part of my past.

Falin laughed mirthlessly, his tone dull, strained and angered, contorting the laugh to make it sound spiteful. "It's because you're weak." He told me tauntingly, shaking his head. "The world is a pathetic place, full of pathetic, weak people, who do pathetic things. Why can't the world be full of people who care? People who give a damn about others and help them? Why can't the world give for once, instead of take?" he cried, and I felt his pain. I too, had constant qualms with the world and its general greediness.

I sighed, giving him a sympathetic look that I knew he despised. As a rule, Falin despised sympathy in all its sickeningly patronizing forms. At least it was better than the smug _'I-told-you-so'_ that I usually gave him. "I don't w_ant _your sympathy, father, I want your guidance. I have plenty of sympathy from the rest of the world. But you, you're my father! Can't you do more than sympathize?" He demanded, trying hard to keep his mood under control, but not quite managing to keep the malice out of his voice.

"Falin, I can't control what the world does, and you _know _I'm trying to help you. I'm just as frustrated as you are, but I can't do more than I am, Falin. You have to accept that the world isn't always a 'can do' place." I told him.

Falin sighed, his shoulders drooping. "But you _can_ do more, father! Ever since I was born, all you've done is either ignore my problems, or make them worse!" He glared at me.

I stared at him, shocked that he thought that way of me. Was that really all I had been doing? Making it worse? "What makes you say that?" I asked quietly, earning a scowl from my son.

"I'll give you a few examples," He began and I groaned inwardly. "Mother," He held up one finger. "Mother, and, um, did I mention mother?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "Falin, I've already told I'm sorry-"

"NO!" He screamed, jumping up so fast his chair flew out from behind him, hitting the floor with a crack. I stared at him, startled by the force of his outburst. He was such a soft spoken boy, I didn't think I'd ever heard him shout before. "No," He continued, softer this time, darker, more dangerous as he stalked toward me, a haunted look on his pallid face.

"Sorry, _isn't, _good enough, father." His voice shook with the intensity with which he spoke. "It never has been, and it never will be." He continued, his voice still strained. "My mother, _tortured_ me, and you did what?" he asked, his tone still dark and quiet.

"Falin-"

"_ANSWER_ ME!" He screamed, picking up the first thing he could reach and hurling it at a wall. It shattered and the pieces fell to the floor. I flinched at his scream, staring at the broken cup. He'd probably gotten his fiery temper from his mother, the woman who had both loved, and tormented the boy. I looked back up at him and he was panting, a look of pure hatred on his face, his fists clenched so hard I saw little drops of blood forming where his nails dug into his skin, his breathing heavy, his shoulders hunched, rising and falling rapidly with his labored breathing.

"I," I had to clear my throat, as it was raspy. "I… stood by idly, and did nothing." I whispered.

He kicked one of the legs of the table and angrily slumped to the floor, pulling his knees up and hugging them, hiding his face. "You stood by… and watched." He said, his voice shaking and full of hurt, slightly muffled as he buried his face into his knees. "You did, absolutely, _nothing." _He let his head fall back, resting it against the side of the table, staring up at the ceiling, his mouth open slightly.

He had little red tears on his face. He shook his head, smiling wryly, his eyes moving to meet mine. "You did nothing." He whispered, then chuckled mirthlessly. "I remember this one time, mother had me backed in a corner, and was beating the life out of me. And what did you do? You just stood by, watching, your face hard as a stone, emotionless, as always. But no, don't do anything Severus! You wouldn't want to lose favor with the dark lord!" he shook his head again, the fake smile fading as he stared blindly ahead.

"Did you enjoy watching my pain?" He whispered. "Was it fun to see me be tortured?" I flinched at the questions, and was about to answer no, absolutely not, when he continued talking. "You where the reason why I became this way. Every night, my life is tormented by nightmares, nightmares that are my reality. Do you feel nothing for what you have done? Have you ever thought how your actions might affect others?" he turned to look at me with a teary face, a look of despair on his face that twisted my heart and threw it out a window.

"While I trusted you, you stood by idly while mother plotted my demise." He continued, looking away. "You told me you cared for me, but it was all a lie. I shouldn't have trusted your sweet lies. Was it your plan to let mother destroy my soul? What was your purpose for making me suffer? I feel helpless in this dark hole that you have created, and as the years pass by, it only grows bigger. Being nurtured by my growing sorrow... While mother may have been the one torturing me, you hurt me more than she ever could have, because you stood by, and watched, and did nothing."

"Falin, I'm sorry. I've told you that so many times," I told him quietly, my voice full of unshed tears, tears I would never be able to cry. "And I know that's not enough, but what else can I do?" I begged, looking at my son with despair in my eyes. He glanced at me, then shook his head slowly and continued talking.

"Today I look at my life and wonder. Is life worth all this pain I have been through? My whole being has been twisted by your selfishness. My understanding of life is so much different than others... What they see as torment, I see as pleasure... I used to wish for my salvation. But now I only wish to feel my own suffering. I have grown to love the feeling of torment, as it's the only thing I have ever been able to feel. I love to see the scars on my skin, and feel the scars on my soul. If only you knew the real me. You would cry and pity me... But I wish you never to know... Because I still cling to that hope. Of you becoming the father you never were..."

I closed my eyes, my face twisted in grief, my soul rocking with sobs while my body still remained cold and hard, refusing to allow me to break, while all I wanted t do was hold my son and cry, beg him to forgive me, plead with destiny to allow me to take his place. But he continued tormenting my soul as he continued talking, pouring his pain out on me. But he was right, I deserved it after all the pain I'd cause him.

"Imagine yourself alone in your mind. You're dangling from a fraying thread like a sleepy hanging bulb, slowly dimming. Empty, alone, with the monsters within your mind, always screaming." He started softly, still staring into the distance. "You just want to give in to the Madness so it will leave you alone, but, it never does." He shook his head. "Now imagine that's you. Every day, every hour, forever sinking. You think that there's no one who knows how you feel. You're just so alone. But the feelings– they're real. Useless. Neglected. Forgotten. Distressed. Alone. Afraid. Abused. But mostly depressed. And you're friends go on like nothing has changed. 'They must not care' Your thoughts whisper." He continued hugging his knees, unaware of the turmoil taking place in my heart as it twisted more and more with his every word.

"The lies your mind creates to explain your emptiness. You can't escape it. Trapped in your own skin, you're ugly, you're hated… but you mask it with a smile and a laugh. You hate what you feel, so instead you feel nothing. Your insides are numb, your outside's in pain, your confidence is constantly crumbling. You look to other things to stop the pain. Cutting, but it gives you no relief, and the people around you shout abuse your way 'You're hurting yourself, stop it!' That's all they ever say. No matter how you plead that you're broken inside, they turn their backs, they run, they hide, they say you're just foolish and it's all in your mind. What they don't know, is inside, you're already dead, just waiting to die on the outside too." He whispered, staring at his little black boots.

"Falin, stop," I begged, my voice choked. He turned to glare at me sharply.

"No." He said forcefully, standing up. "You need to hear this, you need to know what kind of a hell I'm living in!" He growled at me, ignoring the look of despair on my face. He continued talking, glaring at me the whole time, his voice forceful and dripping with hatred.

"Hours are swallowed, listless weightless waves of soft nothingness. Images begin to drop with your eyelids. And you can't bear waking from the restful sleep, when you're lucky enough to get it! The hurt that never shows itself is quiet in its dormancy. And you're so sorry that the timelessness will end like everything else. Like everything else, the palliatives are fading as a laugh from years ago. And the hurt that never shows itself makes you ill, churning through your body, begging to be released. But you hide it, because you know others will be frightened by it." His voice had grown quiet again, as if he were being haunted by his nightmares all over again.

"That's who I am, that is what I go through every day of my life. No one understands how alone I feel. When you look in my eyes and one might see happiness inside but within my bones, I'm falling apart. I help you through hard times, as you do I. But you really don't know how much I hide. Even though you try, I really don't think you understand… I can't bear the hurt, I can't _stand_, the pain. It's like a dull nothingness, an aching bitterness, a feeling of numbness I can't explain. This is a life in which I walk alone, full of shattered hopes and broken dreams. Always angry for no reason at all… constantly wanting to find some kind of relief. Fighting with myself again, and again, sometimes I just want… I just want it all to stop. To end." He slumped back down to the floor, drawing his knees to him again and hugging them as if they were a life preserver.

"But inside me is the worst of all. I don't know how long I can keep up my little charade. Memories of happiness are few and far between, and rarely ever stay with me. But horrible twisted thoughts always find their way into my mind. Nothing I can do will ever make you proud of me… There's no silver lining in your clouds, leaving me as the rainstorm filled with dark black skies hovering over you, a haunting rainfall full of lies and hate. I only wish I could make you see I'm trying hard so I can be someone you can trust and love!" He gave me a despairing look.

"Falin I do lo-…. Trust you." I told him quietly. After all those years, I still couldn't say it. I couldn't tell him I loved him. It was too strong a word, too meaningful. And it would be too hurtful a lie if it weren't true in the slightest. I didn't want to hurt him more than I already had. He gave me a hurt look.

"Instead you tell me, though not directly, that I'm not good enough. You've never actually said it, but I know it's what you're thinking. In everything you do, everything you say, I can hear it. Everything I do is a wrong decision. But I'm only one big mistake, anyway! If I could I'd erase myself from your life, from existence. I wouldn't have to live this fear anymore."

"Falin, you're not a mistake!" I told him, my voice harsh only because I was under a lot of stress. "I don't want to hear any more of this talk, you hear me? Now listen-"

He cut me off. "No you listen! I have a lot I need to talk about, and all you've been doing through all of this is think about yourself! If I'm affecting you this badly just by telling you how I feel, what does that tell you about how bad I _actually_ feel?" he cried at me. I was silent for a long moment, and he took it as a sign to continue.

"I also wish I could be always happy, fun, and good-looking. Instead I look at myself in the mirror, disappointed in the reflection that appears; a dull, lifeless, joyless, ugly ghost child. An apparition. It's hard to live when you don't love who you are, wishing that you could change it all. Every day I make a mental note of how much would I miss, if I decide to go. And how much hurt makes me lean towards the edge, slowly creeping closer. How much longer can I last like this?" He cried at me.

I stared at him solemnly. "That all depends on you." I told him quietly.

He slumped down, staring dejectedly at the floor. "We're two people in pain, but in two different kinds- you cry for me; but I'm of a different mind. I'm the product of your pain, in many different ways." Falin started again. "The one thing you want is never to be blamed for what you do. You don't want to be blamed for my pain. Circumstances happen, and salt is added to my wounds; you can't console me, and feel our friendship will end. So you sit back and watch, and cry your _bloody_ silent tears, on the outside you're cold and emotionless, but inside you cry with me. And now, I'm tossing back in your face the coldness you've shown me over the years, and I will sit as always, afraid to be alone in this bloody, godforsaken place that is my mind. So in the end, who's at fault?" He looked back at me and I closed my eyes, not able to look at the long, red streaks on his perfectly milky white skin.

I just wished I could break down let it all out, finally be found. I was tired of hiding from what hurt. Either way, I still felt like the scum of the earth, the way I treated Falin. I hated the fact that I couldn't cry, I'd trained too long and hard to keep my emotions bottled up. But it was all somewhere inside, refusing to come out, choosing to keep quiet. If I could only have shown my true feelings, my head might have stopped its constant drilling. How great it would have been to relax, look forward to the future and forget about the past. I was so ready for that moment, when I'd finally let the pain show. How much was it going to take, for me to finally give in and let my wall break? One day, I vowed, to look at my son, feel all the pain I've caused him and fully breakdown, finally feel myself cry.

I slid from the seat to the floor, sitting beside Falin but giving him his space, as he was still angry with me. "Falin." I murmured, locking my hands and resting them on my knees. "Why haven't you told me before that you feel this way?" I asked quietly. He sniffed, wiping furiously at his eyes with the back of his hand, only further agitating his raw cheeks, leaving read stains on his white sleeves.

"Because I knew it wasn't something you wanted to hear." He croaked, staring blindly ahead of him.

I sighed. "So you withheld the truth, to spare my feelings, thus bottling up your own, and allowing them to hurt you?" I murmured. He nodded and I sighed again, resting my head on the side of the table, also staring blindly ahead.

"Falin, haven't I told you countless times that you can come to me whenever you need to, and talk about anything?" I murmured. He nodded again. "So, why didn't you?" I asked.

"Because, I was afraid of you. And I was mad at you. And I just don't understand everything." He glanced at me warily.

I sighed again. "As I said before, I have apologized many times, and I know it will never be enough, and you have plenty of rights to be mad at me, but is there no way to redeem myself?" I asked him quietly.

He stared at me for a long moment, then shifted closer to me hesitantly. I didn't move. I let him come to me. He finally gave in to the longing to be loved and leaned into me. I put a careful arm around him and held him close, sighing and rubbing his back gently. "I just… I'm just so tired." He murmured, closing his eyes and wearily leaning into me.

"I know, Falin. It's okay to sleep now, Falin. Just rest."

**AN: So… hehe, what do ya think of Falin and Severus' family? :D And by the way? I hope you enjoyed that chapter, because it's 6,123 words long! Please review!**


	34. Year 2: Chapter 16

**Chapter sixteen:**

**Mudblood**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

With Falin gone, I was left with the company of Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle, Lumin and Miriad again. I sighed, walking with Miriad and Lumin down a dark hall of the dungeons, heading for the Slytherin dorms when I spotted Crabbe and Goyle being interrogated by one of the older Weasley children. I honestly couldn't keep track of them all, so I wasn't sure what his name was.

"Crabbe, Goyle, where have you two been? Pigging out in the great hall all this time?" I called sternly, walking briskly down the hall, ignoring Miriad and Lumin as they trailed behind me. Crabbe nodded and I turned to Goyle. Something was different about him. "Why are you wearing glasses?" I asked, staring up at him.

"Ah, um, reading." He told me, pulling them off and putting them in his pocket.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Reading?" He nodded. "I didn't know you could read." I told him, staring at him in surprise and confusion. He nodded again and I made a face that told him I was slightly impressed. I turned back to Weasley, a scowl of defiance back on my face.

"And what are _you_ doing down here, _Weasley?_" I growled at him.

"Mind your attitude, Malfoy." He said through clenched teeth, glaring down at me. I raised my eyebrows, still glaring, then pushed past him, Crabbe, Goyle, Lumin and Miriad following close behind.

We went in the common room and I sprawled myself out on one of the leather couches, smirking when Miriad and Lumin scowled, as I had left no room for them. Lumin, despite the look I gave her, slid onto the seat by my legs, and Miriad sat down on the other couch.

"Well sit down." I told Crabbe and Goyle as they stood there dumbly, looking around as if they'd never seen the common room before. They both slowly sat next to Miriad, who scooted over slightly so that Goyle wasn't touching her. "You'd never know the Weasley's were purebloods, the way they behave." I shook my head, staring at Lumin as she squirmed to get comfortable beside me. She shot me a look and I sighed, moving my legs some for her.

"They're an embarrassment to the wizarding world, all of them." I continued, looking over at Crabbe, Goyle and Miriad. I narrowed my eyes at the look Crabbe was giving me, clenching his fist. "What's wrong with you, Crabbe?" I asked him, furrowing my brow. Goyle elbowed his friend and Miriad leaned forward to peer at the boy from around the large bulk that was Goyle.

Crabbe flinched when Goyle's elbow met his arm. He cleared his throat. "Stomachache." He murmured, sounding a bit odd, but I didn't care.

I made a face at them and shook my head, looking at Lumin again. "You know, I'm surprised that the daily prophet hasn't done a report on all these attacks. I suppose Dumbledore's trying to hush it all up. Father always said that Dumbledore was the worst thing to _ever_ happen to this school."

Miriad nodded, then looked sharply at Goyle as he cried out, "You're wrong!" Rather brazenly. I stared at him in surprise, my lips parting ever so slightly as I stared at him in shock for a moment.

My face hardened and I turned on him, scowling, then slowly rose from my seat, glaring down at him. "What?" I growled, staring at him as he shifted uncomfortably. Miriad scooted even further away from him, staring at the floor. Lumin jumped up to, also glaring at Goyle. "You think there's someone here, who's worse than Dumbledore?" I challenged the nervous boy. Crabbe quickly shook his head no, and Goyle stared at the floor for a moment.

"Well, do you?" I cried.

"Harry Potter?" Goyle looked up at me hopefully, and I heard Lumin snicker behind me. A sly grin went over Miriad's face.

I stared at him for a moment, my face slowly going blank. I leaned back slightly, staring at him, then smirked, letting out a short chuckle. "Good one, Goyle. You're absolutely right." I looked around for a moment, then back down at them.

"_Saint Potter_." I spat, glaring at a wall to my left. "And people actually think, that he's the heir of Slytherin?"

I shook my head angrily and Lumin snorted. "Not a chance. The bloody prat's too much of an angel." She grumbled angrily, slumping back down on the seat. I glanced at her, smirking slightly. She might not be too bad after all.

Crabbe and Goyle looked at each other, then back up at me. "But then you must have some idea who's behind it all?" Goyle asked.

I shook my head, scowling and moved back over to the couch. "You know I don't Goyle," I sighed, walking past the couch and over to a table, "I told you yesterday." I then jumped up and sat on it, grabbing a little green box I found there. "How many times do I have to tell you?" I raised the box and shook it by my ear, making a face when it rattled.

"Is this yours?" I asked, looking at them. Goyle shook his head and so did Lumin, but the others didn't respond, just kept staring at me without objection as I stuffed it in my pocket after glancing around the room. "But my father did say this." I continued darkly, and the others stared at me hungrily, feeding off the information I was giving them.

"It's been fifty years since the chamber was opened. He wouldn't tell me who opened it, only that they were expelled." My voice grew quieter and quieter, more conviction in the darkness of its tone. "The last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a mudblood died." I saw Miriad flinch, as she was a mudblood, but I continued on nonetheless, unbothered. "So it's only a matter of time, before another one gets killed this time." I let a tiny smirk play at my lips, raising one of my eyebrows briefly. "As for me, I hope it's Granger." I said, my voice barely above a whisper as I smirked. I hadn't really meant it, as I hadn't forgotten how Granger had cared about me the year before when I had been ill, but Crabbe and Goyle both still thought I hated her with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, so I said that for their benefit, had to keep on the act that I still despised mudbloods.

Without warning, Crabbe shot off the couch, growling and coming straight for me. My eyes widened and I moved back on the table, knocking something over. Just in time, Goyle caught Crabbe and held him back with the help of Miriad. "What's the matter with you two?" I cried. "You're acting very… odd." I stared at them as they looked embarrassed and glanced at each other.

"It's just his stomachache." Goyle told me, then turned to Crabbe. "Calm down." He hissed.

I shook my head, making a face, then stuffed my hand in my pocket. Feeling the little box I had found earlier, I pulled it out and looked around to see if anyone was watching. Slowly, I began opening it. Inside was a strange little muggle thing. I scowled at it, shaking it again and holding it up to my ear. "Hey, what's wrong with your hair?" I glanced up when I heard Lumin's curious question to see Crabbe and Goyle rushing off.

"Hey! Where are you two going?" I called after them. Miriad was turned in her seat, also staring after them. I shook my head. "Nimrods." I muttered, looking back at the muggle trinket.

Lumin was still staring after them, her brow furrowed. "What's gotten into them?" She wondered out loud.

"Who knows." I grumbled, not really caring.

"You stupid, vile, cruel, evil little prat!" I was startled into dropping the muggle thing by Miriad who was standing right in front of me, eyes flaring.

"What did you just call me?" I cried, jumping up to glare at her. She was a little shorter than me.

"Guys, please don't fight." We both ignored Lumin as she scrambled over and stood between us.

"Prat! P-r-a-t, _prat." _She spelled it out.

I glared at her. "What's your problem?" I demanded.

"To say you wish someone dead, is a low, dirty evil thing to say!" She practically screamed, drawing the attention of the others in the common room. I glanced about nervously as accusing stared bored into me.

"What? All I said was I hoped Granger was the mudblood the heir of Slytherin killed, it's not like I said I wished it was you!" I growled at her.

"Well you might as well, because I'd be just as _mad!" _She growled and began hitting my arm with her heavy potions book. I cringed, holding out my hands to try to stop it and getting a few bruised knuckles, stubbed and bent fingers for my efforts.

"Stop hitting me!" I cried, making the others in the room laugh. With no head of house around to keep things in order, no one seemed to care that they could get in trouble. My heart stopped. No head of house. That meant I was in big trouble, without the trusty old potions master around to keep me out of trouble.

"Prat! Prat, prat, prat _prat!" _She cried.

"Stop!" I tried again as she kept relentlessly beating me with the book. I was loathe to hit a girl, mudblood or not, but I was just about ready to. She raised the book to hit me again and I shot my hands out, grabbing her wrists with such force that the book slipped from her grasp and clattered to the floor. I ignored the dull throbbing in my hands and I squeezed them around her wrists, eyes flaring. The room was dead silent now, and the look of anger on her face had quickly been replaced by utter horror and fear, multiplied when she realized no one dared to help her, for fear of a most painful death, should they lay a hand on Lucias Malfoy's boy.

I backed her up against a wall, glaring at her. I heard her let out a gasp as the air was knocked out of her when I thrust her hard against the stone wall. "Listen to me, mudblood." I hissed, my voice wavering as I tried to control the fury behind it. I wasn't a violent person, unless angered.

"The only reason I tolerate you, is because you're my best friend's petty _girlfriend_." I growled. "Personally, I think he could do much better."

"Draco, let her go." I didn't have to turn to recognize the voice of that damned Perios.

"Shut up, Perios!" I screamed at her without turning my head, seeing Miriad flinch as I had screamed right in her face. The room was still utterly silent. I stared right at Miriad, who was staring right back, tears in her eyes. I could feel the veins in her wrists beneath my fingers throbbing, and her hands were turning blue. Only then, did I realize how tight a grip I had on her and I let her go, still glaring. Her hands dropped to her sides, color draining back into them.

I glared at her, then stormed away, out of the room, leaving everyone staring after me.

**POV: Illumine Shalom Snape**

"Are you okay?" I asked Miriad worriedly.

"Give me your hands." Mirianda told her, taking her hands and rubbing them.

"What are you doing?" Miriad asked curiously.

"Helping the blood to get circulating properly again." She explained. I remembered her showing me that one before.

"Are you really only fourteen?" Miriad asked as we sat down on one of the leather couches, Mirianda still massaging Miriad's hands.

Mirianda smiled, glancing up at her. "Yep. I just happen to be obsessed with healing and medicinal potions. Everything to do with the mind and how it works, and how it affects the body when distressed or tampered with." She told her, looking back down at her hands.

"That's cool." Miriad complimented.

"Yeah. I'm especially astounded with all of Falin's magical healing abilities. He has the natural gift to be able to send his mind into another person's body and search for what's wrong, and heal it. I call it the Mental Medicine." She bragged about our brother all the time, not adding that part that would explain just _why _Falin had all those abilities, or the fact that the _only _thing Mirianda was good at was healing spells and aging spells.

"No way!" Miriad gasped.

"Yes, he honestly can. I fell from a tree once and had broken ribs and internal bleeding, and he put his hands on me, closed his eyes, and fixed it, just like that." She snapped her fingers. I smiled, remembering that and how scared to death mum and father had been.

"Yes, Falin's mind may be a delicate place, but it's certainly powerful." Mirianda sighed, leaning back on the couch. We leaned back as well, silent for a few moments as we all stared blankly ahead, each lost in our own thoughts. "Well, it's past curfew, girls. Let's get to bed." Mirianda sighed, standing. We followed her up to the dorms.

**AN: Yikes, Draco's got himself a temper! And just how powerful do you think Falin is? And why? Why does he have all these strange, mysterious powers? Review!**


	35. Year 2: Chapter 17

**Chapter seventeen:**

**Family Reunion of Sorts**

**POV: Severus Snape**

"I owled Mirianda and Lumin, they're coming down for the weekend for the family reunion." Annenia told me as we sat at the dinner table, eating.

"Please tell me your mother isn't coming this time?" I begged her. She just smiled at me sympathetically and kept eating. I scowled down at my plate. Bloody woman.

"Awesome! I haven't seen Mirianda in a while, she's been too busy at work, leaving before I get up to go to school and getting back after I'm already in bed, she's a busy girl, Severus, you should be proud of her." Kelly complimented, stabbing at her food.

I smiled at my oldest stepdaughter -who was sixteen- as she played with her food. "Thank you, Kelly." I murmured.

"Falin, you're awfully quiet, don't tell me your father's been making you stay up all night, working on your O.W.L.s." Susan teased, looking at her stepbrother who sat across from her. Susan was the same age as Falin, only a few months older.

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm fine." Falin murmured, looking back down at his plate.

Susan glanced at me in confusion and I just shook my head, my eyes also going back to my plate. For a few moments, there was nothing but silence with the clink of utensils against glass and an occasional gleeful noise from little Serenia as she ate. We all turned to look as the front door opened and my two daughters came in, all smiles, with two children close behind them that I recognized instantly. Draco and Miriad. What were they doing there?!

"Lumin! Mirianda!" Kelly and Susan cried at the same time, jumping up and rushing to their stepsisters.

"Kelly! Susan!" The girls exchanged hugs.

Annenia stood and hurried over. "Come in and sit down, dears, while the food's still hot." She told them, taking their jackets and hanging them in the hall. I noticed all four of them were wearing muggle clothes. Draco, whom I'd never seen wear something so plain before, looked rather odd in the unfamiliar clothing.

"That was weird, I've never ridden in a muggle transport before." Draco announced, pulling up a chair next to Falin. I narrowed my eyes at him, but said nothing.

"And who are you, young man?" Annenia asked, sitting back down and passing around the food.

"Draco Malfoy." He told her, reaching out and shaking her outstretched hand, as they were only two places from each other, and had to reach across Falin, but he didn't even notice.

"EH, nice place you got here, Snape." Draco grinned, looking around.

"Yes, very lovely home, professor." Miriad agreed, sitting across from me and between Kelly and Serenia. She was far more polite, even though Draco had supposedly been brought up in the best of manners.

"Hewo!" Serenia cried and Mirianda turned and smiled at the little four year old child as she handed her a spoon.

"Why hello, who is this?" She asked, smiling broadly and making faces at the little girl.

"Ah, that's Serenia, darling." Annenia smiled. "And this is, Falin, Kelly, Susan, Mirianda, and Lumin, but you already know Lumin and Mirianda, don't you?" She smiled.

"Yes ma'am, and Falin too. Oh, I'm Miriad Hensul, by the way." She told her, smiling. "How are you feeling, Falin?" She asked, leaning forward slightly and staring at the quiet boy at the other end of the table.

"Just fine." He replied in a monotone voice, not looking up from his plate. Miriad stared at him for a moment, then looked back over at Serenia, who was talking to her rapidly in her small voice.

"So professor, why is it you live in the muggle world?" Draco asked, true curiosity behind his question, rather than spite as I would have first thought had been there. I glanced over at Annenia and she glanced up at me, pretending to not notice the question and kept eating.

"Well, Draco, we came to live here many years back, hiding from Voldemort when he was in power." I told him quietly, not quite telling the truth, but needing to be careful what I said. Mirianda, who sat between me and Draco, choked on her drink when she heard the name, and Lumin, sitting to Annenia's right, paled slightly. "Come, children, no need to get yourselves so worked up over a bloody name." I scolded, continuing to eat, unbothered.

Kelly, Susan and Annenia, all muggles, knew only a few inconsequential details about the dark wizard, and also remained unfazed, if a bit confused. "So, professor, if you don't mind my asking, who are these people?" Miriad asked, leaning forward slightly and speaking softly so as to not offend anyone. She was sitting across from me. I looked up at her.

I felt myself stiffen as I looked her in the eyes. Memories flashed, and suddenly, I was a twelve year old boy again, smiling at a pretty red-headed Lily Evans. "Professor?" Miriad's concerned voice brought me back to the present and I realized I was staring at her, eyes wide. I set down my spoon.

"Forgive me, miss Hensul, I had a momentary lapse of concentration, what was your question?" I asked, turning my attention to Serenia and pulling her bowl out of her hand before she had a chance to tip it to the floor.

Miriad smiled briefly, staring at me with respect, and a tinge of fear, as most students did. "Kelly, Annenia and Susan," She glanced at Serenia who sat at the end of the table, to her right and my left. "And Serenia, who are they?" She asked. "How do you know them?" I stared at her again, silent for a brief moment.

"They're my family, miss Hensul." I told her quietly.

"Family? I didn't know you had a family, well, other than Falin that is." Draco piped up and the table grew silent. "Well," Draco glanced around nervously, setting down his spoon. "And Lumin, and Mirianda…." He sighed. "What? I just, didn't picture you as a man with a family." He grumbled, taking a spoonful and stuffing it in his mouth moodily.

"Have you not ever heard the term, 'do not judge a book by its cover'?" I growled at the blonde boy and he blushed.

"Sorry." He mumbled over his mouthful.

"I think it's brilliant. Everyone needs a family to look out for them. My parents are muggles, they don't understand really, but they try." Miriad spoke softly, staring pointedly at Draco, who scowled back.

Mirianda cleared her throat, also setting her food down. "Great food, Anne, what's for desert?"

**POV: Mirianda Perios Snape**

"So, Annenia's your mum?" Draco asked. We were all crowded in Kelly and Susan's room, as it was the biggest of all of the children's rooms. Kelly and Susan sat on the top bunk, and I sat on the bottom bed, Serenia and Lumin in our laps, Miriad sat at a desk chair, Draco sitting _on _the desk, and Falin sat on the floor, his back leaned against the bed, his head leaning on my legs and I absent-mindedly played with his baby-soft midnight hair. Iothi and Lerilia, Kelly and Susan's cousins, also sat on the floor, backs up against the dresser. They, along with other family members had arrived just in time for desert.

"Yeah. Well, she's Kelly, Serenia and Susan's real mum. She's mine, Lumin and Falin's stepmum." I replied.

"So, Snape isn't Kelly, Susan and Serenia's father?" He checked.

"No, I mean, he's Serenia's father, but not Kelly or Susan's." I told him.

"So let me get this straight; you, Falin and Lumin are siblings by blood?"I nodded. "Kelly and Susan are siblings by blood, and are your stepsisters?" I nodded again. "And Serenia's both parent's child and is related to you all by blood, but is your half sister?" he asked and I nodded again. Draco made a face. "That's bloody confusing. Not even my family tree has that many twisted branches." He laughed, intending it to be a joke, but everyone just stared at him until his smile faded and he swallowed, staring awkwardly at the floor.

"So, great family reunion, huh?" Miriad piped up.

"Of sorts, and yeah, we haven't seen _you_ in a while." Kelly smirked, grabbing my arm and playfully shaking me back and forth. I laughed and over-exaggerated flopping around. Kelly and Susan were as much my sisters as Lumin was. I loved them dearly.

With Kelly the oldest, at sixteen, me next, at fourteen, then Susan at twelve, then Falin only a few months younger at twelve, then Lumin at ten, and Serenia the youngest at four, we were a full family. Iothi, our wizard cousin was seventeen, along with his sister Lerilia who was seven. They were both the children of Iosi, Annenia's muggle-born witch sister. "So you're muggles?" Draco piped up, staring at Kelly and Susan, who shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah, whatever. I suppose." Kelly answered, staring at him.

"What's it like, being a muggle?" he asked and I mentally started strangling him.

Kelly and Susan glanced at each other. "Normal." They both replied at the same time.

Draco scowled, then nodded towards Serenia. "What about her? She a squib?" He asked.

"No, she's already shown magical ability." I shot at him, glaring, even though she hadn't yet, I had to stick up for my little sister.

"Even if she were a squib, it wouldn't matter, you filthy first-class pureblood." Miriad growled. He scowled at me, but said nothing, turning to Miriad.

"You should know all about blood purity, Hensul, being a mudblood and all." He growled at her. Her face turned dark red, glancing around. "And you two, your mum's a mudblood too?" He stared at Iothi and Lerilia, who also turned a bright red.

"One cannot help the circumstances with which they are born, Draco, we mustn't judge and make others feel inferior." Falin scolded him in a monotone voice, adding to the conversation for the first time since we'd come back from Hogwarts.

Draco glanced at his friend. "Guys, please don't argue! It's not fair to Kelly and Susan, they don't know much about wizarding blood and such." Lumin begged.

"Whatever, don't even know why I agreed to come" Draco muttered.

"You came because I invited you." I reminded him.

"Oh yeah, why did you invite him again?" Lumin shot at me.

"Because, he's Falin's best friend, and I thought it would be _nice_, spending the weekend with friends and family." I glared pointedly at Draco. "Can't we all just get along until it's over?" I asked.

Draco sighed, slumping against the wall. "Fine." He grumbled.

"You're too kind." I couldn't help but add sarcastically.

"Okay, why don't we play a game?" Iothi interrupted before Draco could throw in a scathing reply.

"Great! How about exploding snap? Or wizarding chess?" Draco's eyes traveled over to Kelly and Susan. "Oh yeah, they can't." He added brightly and I glared at him again.

"Why do you have to be so difficult, Malfoy?" I sighed.

"I thought his name was Drake." Susan piped up.

"No, it's _Draco_." Draco snapped. "Draco _Malfoy_. Perios and I aren't on a first-name basis." He told her.

"Oh." Susan glanced at us awkwardly. "So, would you call my whole family Snape?" She asked, knitting her brow in confusion. "That might get confusing, wouldn't it?" She asked.

"No, usually if there's more than one to keep up with, I use their middle names. When I first met Falin, he was Cerenbus to me, and Snape is, of course, Snape to me, your mum would probably be Missus Snape, you would be… what's your middle name?" He asked.

"Susan." She told him.

"So your name is… Susan Susan Snape?" Draco gave her a weird look.

"What? No, I mean, no, my middle name is Claire, Susan Claire Evers." She told us.

"So you would be Claire, or Evers, and what about you?" He looked at Kelly.

"Kelly Iosi Evers." She told him. "I was named after my aunt Iosi and my grandmother Kelly. My aunt Iosi is a witch, you know." She told him, glancing at Iothi and Lerilia.

"So you'd be Iosi. And what about her?" He pointed to Serenia, ignoring what Kelly had told him about her aunt being a witch.

"Oh, that's Serenia Eileen Snape, she's named after Severus' mother." Kelly told him.

Draco nodded. "She'd be Eileen." He told her.

"Isn't that awfully confusing though? Why not just refer to us by our first names?" Susan interrupted.

Draco shrugged.

"You'd think if you weren't on a first-name basis with someone, you wouldn't know them well enough to be on a middle-name basis with them either." I giggled.

Draco just shrugged again. "Depends on what name they give me." He replied.

"Wizards don't do that." Iothi protested, but Draco just ignored him.

"What surprises me, though, is how Snape could possibly have fallen for a muggle." Draco continued, scowling and shaking his head.

Susan and Kelly, not knowing a lot about magic, but knowing enough to realize that was an attack on their mother, scowled at him. "He fell in love with her, because she's a brilliant, beautiful, wonderful woman! He's lucky to have a wife like her!" Kelly growled.

"Whatever." Draco sighed.

I glanced at my watch. "Damn, it's late, Falin, go to father and get him to give you your medicine, you know what? I'll go with you." I jumped up, pulling him to his feet and pushing him out of the room.

**POV: Kelly Iosi Evers Snape**

Without Mirianda to play the peacekeeper, things got heated. "I don't give a damn about blood, Malfoy! Shut your trap!" Miriad shouted at him.

"Guys!" Lumin cried, standing between them, a hand on Miriad's shoulder and the other on Draco's chest, pushing them away from each other.

"Well I do!" He cried back.

"Why? It doesn't matter! I can't help that my parents were muggles! And even if I could, I wouldn't! I love my parents! There's nothing wrong with them!" She shouted.

"Draco! Draco, please? Falin would be mad at you if he knew you and Miriad hate each other!" Lumin pleaded with the blonde boy.

"Lumin, I respect you right now, please don't make me hate you too." He growled at the little girl.

I finally jumped up. "Hey!" I shouted over the sound of their arguing. They all stopped and turned to me as I clutched little Serenia in my arms as she looked around in confusion. "I have no idea what you guys are arguing about, but whatever it is, it sure as hell isn't bad enough to get into such an argument about it!" I cried.

"You," I turned on Draco. "You need to stop obsessing over 'blood purity' whatever that means, and you," I turned to Miriad. "Grow a backbone, girl! Don't be so damned sensitive, don't let him get to you! If he's bothering you, just walk away." I told her and she stared at the floor, her face red.

Draco rolled his eyes and plopped back down on the desk. Miriad slowly sat down as well and I did the same. The room was instantly filled with awkward silence as we all stared at something, anything, so long as it wasn't each other, which would do nothing but increase the awkwardness.

There was a light tap on the door. "Time for bed." It was mother. We were all relieved to finally be allowed to go to bed. Susan and I shared a room already, but Lerilia stayed with us this time. Miriad stayed in Mirianda's room just beside ours, Lumin and Serenia shared a room, just across from Mirianda's. Draco stayed in Falin's room, which was right next to mother and Severus' so that that Severus could wake up easily in the night should Falin have another nightmare. Iothi was forced to sleep downstairs on the couch.

Aunt Iosi and uncle Rayph had one of the guest rooms, grandma Loretta, mother's mother, the one who despised Severus, and grandpa James had the other guest room, and Jacob, my boyfriend slept on the floor in the living room downstairs, next to the couch Iothi was on.

"Good night, Susan, Lerilia." I murmured.

"G'night." Susan replied, her voice muffled, sounding as though she were speaking with her head in her pillow. Lerilia didn't reply, as she was probably already asleep. I sighed and rolled over, falling into a deep sleep.

**AN: So…. How do you like Falin's family? There's more to come in the next chapter… hehe, and a certain woman's name will be finally revealed… Falin's mum, perhaps? Yep! So, send in your thoughts now on who you think it is, just from the way Falin has described her in the past! Ten virtual chocolate to whoever gets it right! REVIEW!**


	36. Year 2: Chapter 18

**Chapter eighteen:**

**Mother Dearest**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

Being with Falin's family only reminded me painfully of how much I hated my own family. I had always thought that all Falin had was his father. And then I suddenly learned he had a sister. And another sister. And a stepmum, and two stepsisters, and a half sister. And grandparents. And aunts and uncles and cousins and sister's lousy boyfriends. And they all loved him. Their family was happy, though not carefree or without faults, but they loved each other. Interacted in friendly manners, teased each other without getting mad, and if they accidentally hurt one another, they would apologize.

Not like my family. My family didn't love each other. They just tolerated each other. Interacted in professional manners, never playfully teased one another, and if they hurt one another, by accident or otherwise, no regret was ever shown, and no apologies were ever exchanged.

I was glad at least, that Falin, a broken soul, had a kind and loving family to help him. If he were living with abusive parents and siblings, I don't think he would have survived much past his birth.

"Falin? Are you sleeping?" I asked the darkness.

"No, I'm training to die." Came the soft, sarcastic reply. I sighed and rolled over on my side of the bed. I faced him to see he was laying on the very edge of the very small bed, his back to me, curled up. I sighed again, shifting and trying to get comfortable. It was really cold in Falin's room, probably because he enjoyed the cold. I hogged the blankets, since Falin didn't seem to want them.

"Falin, why's it so cold in here?" I finally asked into the darkness, staring up at the ceiling, literally seeing a little cloud forming from my breath.

"Because I like it cold." He replied, his voice so soft I wasn't sure if he'd actually spoken, or if my mind had come up with his answer for him. I made a face and pulled the blankets up over my head, pulling my legs up and hugging them, curling my numb toes.

I shivered again and squeezed my eyes shut. The rest of the night was silent and uncomfortable. When Falin did finally fall asleep, all I heard through the night was whimpers and moans, as if he were having another nightmare. I sighed and hunched up further, afraid to wake him. "Good night Falin." I whispered.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

"Come on, let's go to the park!" Susan suggested, taking my hand and smiling.

I turned to Annenia. "We could take the younger children if you like." I told her quietly.

She smiled. "Yes, dear, that would be lovely." She said appreciatively. It was the morning after the family reunion, and the adults were sitting in the living room, talking quietly.

"Come on then." Kelly took Lumin's hand and I picked up Serenia as she clung to me while Iothi, who was seventeen, picked up his little sister, who was only seven. Jacob, Kelly's boyfriend took Kelly's other hand. We all filed out of the house and walked down the familiar old dirt road, heading for the park in the middle of the town square, chatting quietly amungst ourselves. The town square was small, with only a few buildings, most of which were boarded up and full of cobwebs. The only building that was still active was the grocery store, and it was towards the far end of the square, only visible if one wandered past the imposing graveyard.

I couldn't help but smile when I caught sight of three familiar faces that were sitting at the park on the swings, talking to each other. "Gregory! Richard, Molly!" I called to them and they turned to stare.

Wide smiles plastered themselves onto their faces. "Hey, Falin! Back from the dead already? Long time no see! I thought your father shipped you off to some boarding school in the Americas!" Richard's familiar playfully taunting voice called.

I laughed, shifting Serenia to my other arm and man-hugging Richard and Greg, and smiling and hugging Molly. "No, the schools not in America, I'm home for the holidays." I told him.

"Holidays? What holidays?" Greg asked.

"Family reunion, can't miss it." I told him, rolling my eyes.

"Oh, man! I'm so sorry! Family reunions are hell!" Richard cried.

"I know, I know, but I'll be fine. Oh hey, this is my older sister, Mirianda, remember me telling you about her?" I offered, taking my sisters hand and drawing her over to them.

"Oh yeah! I remember you, haven't seen you in ages!" They all hugged her and she laughed.

"Great to see you guys too." She told them.

"And my cousins, Iothi and Lerilia." I pointed to them and they smiled and waved.

"Hey Serenia!" Molly cried, coming forward and taking the little girl from my arms.

"Molly!" Serenia shrieked with delight.

"I take it Annenia brings Serenia to the park often?" I laughed. Molly smiled and nodded, playing with the little dark-haired girl.

"And, these are my friends, Draco and Miriad." I introduced. Miriad smiled at them and Draco shook their hands, begrudgingly.

Richard laughed at Draco. "What's with your hair? You bleach it or something?" he took a lock of Draco's fine, white hair between thumb and forefinger and rubbed it. Draco slapped his hand away.

"No! This happens to be my natural hair color, you filthy little mugg-"

I pushed between them, facing Richard and chuckled nervously. "What he means to say, is yes, that's his natural hair color, and no, you can't touch it." I turned to Draco, giving him a glare. "Must you make it a point to be enemies with _all _my friends?" I hissed. He just shrugged. "What, am I not allowed to have any other friends than you, is that it?" I asked.

He grinned. "No, you can have other friends. You just have to love me the most." He told me, grinning at me like an idiot, showing his pearly white teeth. I rolled my eyes, pushing him away.

"What kind of a name is that, anyway? _Draco." _Richard rolled the name around on his tongue.

"Really? You're questioning _my _name, but not Miriad's? Or Mirianda? Or Annenia, Iothi, Serenia, Lerilia, Severus, Illumine or Falin?"

Richard shrugged. "He had a weirder name when I met him. So, when are you going back?" He turned back to me.

I opened my mouth to reply, but Draco cut in. "Wait wait, hold up. Weirder name when you met him? What does that mean?" He asked.

I sighed, staring at the sky, feeling memories force their way to the surface. "Falin… isn't my birth name." I told him quietly.

He furrowed his brow. "Well… what is…?" He asked.

"Malum Lixam Snape." I growled out, clenching my fists. Everyone had suddenly grown silent.

Draco glanced about at all the hardened faces. "So…?"

"So?! SO?" I cried, startling him. "Malum Lixam," I spat the name. "that, happens to be Latin for _evil follower!_ Do you know how hard it is growing up knowing even your name thinks you're evil?" I shrieked at him and the already pale boy paled further.

"Falin, I-I didn't know-" He stuttered and the others remained silent, staring at the ground awkwardly.

Only Serenia was blissfully unaware of the situation, the angel child who had never known pain, or fear, or the burden of growing up knowing you were destined to service the dark lord. She had been nothing short of pampered, as father was determined to redeem himself and be a good parent after his miserable failure for the first seven years of my life, nine years of Mirianda's, and five of Lumin's, wanting to be adored by at least one of his children, who knew nothing of his previous self.

I glared enviously at the lucky child, my eyes torn away from Draco, staring just past his head, where Molly distractedly played with the child, all the while glancing up at us every so often, having heard the entire conversation. I slowly turned my empty black eyes back to him, and he was staring at the ground, looking thoroughly ashamed.

"I'm sorry, Falin." He murmured to me.

I sighed, my hunched shoulders slumping in defeat. "No, you're fine, you didn't know." I mumbled softly. "I think I'm going back home, I don't feel well." I told them quietly, turning away from them and trudging back in the direction of the house.

For the first few minutes I walked in silence, only slightly aware someone had followed me. "You should have stayed with the others, don't let me drag you down into the pits of despair." I told him quietly.

"Falin, I'm not letting you walk home by yourself." Draco told me quietly, coming to walk next to me now that he knew I didn't need my silent space anymore.

"Why not? I can care for myself." I shot him a look that dared him to disagree. He gave me a despairing look, but said nothing.

"I love your family, Falin." He changed the subject instead. "You're really lucky to have such great sisters, and a mum and dad that love you…"

"Annenia's _not _my mother." I snapped. He stared at me for a moment as we walked. "She's a brilliant, wonderful woman. But she's not my mum, and she never will be." I told him quietly.

"You don't talk about your mum much. What was she like? Do you remember her?" He asked gently. I winced, but couldn't very well fault him for being curious.

"She was brilliant. And demented. Beautiful, but vial. Kind, but cruel. I both loved and hated my mother. And yes, I remember her. I can see her face right now in my mind, as clearly as I can see yours." I told him, looking at him. He looked back at me, his face soft and gentle. I could tell he was desperate to ask who she was, but remained silent out of respect for me.

"Her name… was…"

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"Her… her name… it…" He stuttered slightly, unsure whether or not he should tell me his mother's name.

I quickly rested a hand on his shoulder. "Don't tell me if you don't want to." I urged him.

He glanced at me, his face desperate. "No, no I need to tell someone, it's been a secret for far too long, and you're the only one I trust enough to tell." He murmured, and I silently drew pride from the fact that he trusted me so much.

By this point, Falin and I had stopped walking, and were standing in the middle of the empty cobblestone streets, unworried of listening ears as there was no one to hear us for at least a mile, back where the park was. Falin folded his arms over his chest in an attempt to comfort himself, his head tilted to the side, his eyes staring at the ground, unfocussed.

"Her name… was, B- Bella….Bellatrix… Black." He glanced up at me quickly to catch my shocked expression before I had time to wipe it off my face.

"What?!" I cried. I tried to picture her and Snape, and simply could not do it. "Y- I mean, she, but… they…. You're my cousin!" I shouted at him. He stared at me blankly for a moment.

"What…?" He asked, eyes widening slightly.

"She's my aunt! She's my mother's sister! You- you're my cousin! We're cousins!" I grabbed his shoulders and shook him, my eyes wide. He stared at me in as much shock as I stared at him with. "You! It was you!" I cried, my eyes widened in horror.

"What was me?" He asked, more calmly than I could ever have managed.

"You were my cousin that lived with us for six years! You and Mirianda, and Lumin…" I trailed off, staring at the ground. "You were the cousin I hid in my closet every time your parents tortured you! Oh god, why didn't I realize it before?" I cried, my hands finding their way up to my hair and pulling at it in stress and frustration, as it was there to pull on. I hadn't slicked it back, since we were supposed to fit in with the muggles, and, apparently, twelve year old muggle boys didn't normally slick their hair back. I looked back up at him and his eyes were wide, lips parted ever so slightly.

"I barely remember that…" he breathed. I looked back up at him, cupping his face in my hands and staring him right in the eye, feeling his icy skin beneath my fingers. He stared back, and I could feel his heart beating wildly in the veins on his neck at the feel of my hands on his face and the sight of my narrowed, searching eyes. He tried to pull his face away but I made him look at me. I stared deep into the little black eyes, my mind going back to that long forgotten past.

_"P-please? She hurt me… I-I don't want to go back out there." A tiny black-haired boy whispered so quietly I had to lean forward to hear the pitiful voice._

_I smiled at the tiny boy, staring into his black pits of nothingness. "Sure! Your sister is already in here." I told him, my voice high and squeaky. I was pleased the tiny boy was finally talking. He had never been much fun. The tiny, sickly pale child moved into the room, his bottom lip bloody and many, many bruises lining his otherwise pure white skin. All he was wearing was battered old black slacks and an overly-large black shirt that kept slipping off his shoulders, revealing even more horrid purple bruises on the ashen skin._

_I stepped aside and allowed him to enter, his blank, black gaze locked on me. "Do you have anywhere I can hide?" He breathed as his older sister stood up and hugged her brother, who winced as his already sore body couldn't handle much more pressure._

_"Well, when I play hide and seek with Miria, I hide under the bed, or in the closet." I told him._

_Mirianda's face lit up. "So that's where you disappear to! I'll have to remember that!" The five year old girl told me. _

_I narrowed my eyes at her. "Drat, I just gave away my best hiding places. Oh well, you can hide in there if you want." I told the tiny three-year old as he stared up at me._

_"Many thanks." He murmured, his voice a tiny squeak as he padded into the closet. I excitedly showed him every place he could hide and he chose a space behind one of my clothes racks. "Can you see me?" His tiny voice was muffled by all the clothes in front of him._

_"No." I told him after inspecting the scene for a moment._

_"Go keep playing, pretend I'm not here." He told me so quietly I could barely hear him__._

_My face fell. "You don't… want to play with us?" I asked. _

_He was silent. "No." He finally mumbled. I pushed aside some of the clothes and peered at the ghostly face. His midnight black hair blended with the darkness, in fact, almost seemed a part of it._

_"Why not?" I asked, disappointed. _

_"I can't. I have to stay alive." He murmured, yanking the clothing from my hand and fixing it so it was covering him from view again. I sighed and slumped my shoulders and went back in my room to play with Mirianda, flicking the light off and closing the door, leaving the closet pitch black._

"It was you." I breathed, still staring into his hollow, blank eyes. I dropped my hands from his cold cheeks, flexing them to try to rid the numbness. "And one day… when we were six, your father found you hiding in my room. And your mother was furious, and got father to hit me as a punishment. After that… he did it regularly." I sighed.

"It's my fault." Falin whispered, staring at me in shock.

"No! Falin-"

He cut me off. "Your father started abusing you because I got you in trouble! If I had never tried to hide from my mother, your father would never have started beating you!" he cried.

"But Falin, you couldn't have just let your mother hurt you! You'd probably be dead by now!" I told him. He was in tears now.

"No! It's my fault!" He cried, shaking, pulling his hair. I grabbed his cold hands and pried his fingers from his hair, not wanting him to damage his sensitive scalp. I held his hands, squeezing them.

"Falin, look at me!" I told him and he dragged his gaze to me, tears streaming down his cheeks, leaving red streaks that looked rather painful, his face twisted in pain as he sobbed his heart out.

"Falin, it's _not _your fault. I would rather, take the beatings for you, than go back in time and change it, even if I could, I wouldn't. I'll take the beatings with dignity now… knowing I had the honor of saving my best friend from further harm or even death." I told him seriously, my voice soft. He stared at me, still shaking, tears still burning red lines down his face.

I stuffed my hand in my pocket and drew out my handkerchief. I rubbed my thumbs over the soft material, then raised it and gently dabbed the painful tears from his face. I was startled when I pulled the kerchief back and it was covered in blood. I looked back at his face, peering at the tears carefully. "Are you okay-" I began and he waved it off, smiling wryly.

"It does that." He whispered, taking the kerchief and dabbing at his eyes less gently than I had, and wincing when it hurt.

"Your eyes bleed?" I scrunched up my face, staring at him.

He gave a short, mirthless laugh. "Yeah, no one ever notices because they just think the red on my face is from how hot the tears are, I mean, after the bloods gone, yeah, but…" He sighed, handing the bloody kerchief back to me. I stared down at it, a shudder passing down my spine as I stuffed it back in my pocket, hurrying to catch up with Falin as he had already started back home again. He was getting weirder by the moment.

Our thoughts were entirely our own as we each walked in silence, only broken by the soft scraping of shoe on stone whenever our feet slipped. "Mother was horrible to me." I looked up at Falin's soft whisper. He was staring ahead, his eyes locked on something I couldn't see, a traumatizing memory, a haunting past. "But she was willing to try. After we left your home, that is… we went to live with a family of muggles…"

"The Evers." I guessed and Falin nodded.

"Mother… she was like a different person. Still demented, of course, but… she'd changed. She was, good to me. She actually cared about me. But father," He shook his head sadly. "Father didn't believe she'd changed. She left, after the house was attacked by some death eaters Voldemort had sent to kill me, Mirianda and Lumin-"

"Why?" I interrupted. "Didn't he know you were his loyal follower's children?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, he knew. Oh ho, he knew about us." He laughed mirthlessly, an almost wicked cackle. "Boy did he ever know who we were." He shook his head, glaring in front of him. I stared at him curiously. "He wanted father and mother to create the ultimate heir for him, to be his right-hand wizard. Their first try brought them Mirianda, whom the dark lord didn't like because she was a girl, he wanted a male heir. Second try; me. All goes fairly well for the first three or four years, and suddenly, boom. I have a mental illness. So, the dark lord has them try _again, _and they have another girl..."

I nodded slowly. "So Snape and Bellatrix didn't love each other…" I began.

"Quite the opposite, actually. They hated each other, loathed even. They still do."

I nodded again. "But why would he have you killed? Voldemort, that is?" I asked.

"Because, he had somehow learned that father was going 'soft' and falling for us. And we were of no usefulness to him anymore, so he wanted to get rid of us in the quickest way possible to avoid losing one of his favored death eaters. Unfortunately, the muggle family got caught up in the middle of it, and Annenia's husband was killed." I nodded again.

"So, what about Bellatrix? Why did she leave?" I asked.

"Father sent her away." Falin replied quietly. "I'll never forgive him for sending her away. He still didn't trust her, no matter what she said. He thought that she was the one to tip off the dark lord about him going 'soft.' When he forced her to leave, her sorrow drove her to insanity. She's still a Death Eater, one of the most loyal of the lot."

"And barking mad, as rumor has it." I commented. He turned and gave me the dirtiest look. My face turned bright pink. "I mean, it's a crying shame is what it is." I mumbled, staring at the ground as it slowly went from cobblestone to dirt. We were almost back to Falin's home.

"Right, well. Brilliant." I sighed, catching sight of the old house. I turned to Falin. "So… do you, love your mother?" I asked quietly.

He stared at me for a moment. "My mother both cherished and tormented me. Therefore I both loved and hated her. She couldn't make up her mind. I'll never forgive her for damaging me the way she did… but. I think, had father given her the chance, she would have tried harder, when she came back." He told me. Silently, I had to disagree. I knew Bellatrix. As my aunt, I knew her well. She was absolutely insane. I didn't, however, want to shatter the little hope Falin had left. I just prayed that he never found out what his mother was really like.

**AN: SO! What do you think? Eh? EH? Was it what you were expecting? What do you think will come next? OH! And I need to know if you guys think I should start a new story as the continuation to this one, since there are already like 36 chapters, and there's still six movies to go… so, it all depends on whether you guys are willing to have that many chapters. Yeah. Okay! Please review! I really need your opinion on that!**

**OH! And special recognition to my awesome pal, pinkwood17 for guessing Falin's mother correctly! Loads of virtual chocolate for you, my friend! :)**


	37. Year 2: Chapter 19

**Chapter nineteen:**

**Mooney Madness; Devil Worshippers; Damn You, Lucius**

**POV: Annenia Nysisian Snape**

"Boys! What are you doing back? It's such a long walk from the park! Why did you come back alone?" I cried when Falin and Draco walked in the front door. I looked up from the book I had been reading. Severus also turned. We were sitting on the couch reading the book together, my sister Iosi and her husband, Rayph sitting across from us, also reading. Mother was in her rocker, glaring at Severus while she knitted an outfit for the new baby she was convinced we were having despite my futile attempts to convince her Severus and I were content with the children we already had. Father was going around the house, fixing things regardless of the fact that I told him Severus could do it. At that, he just scoffed and told me that someone who spent as little time at home as Severus did, ought to spend it with his family rather than spend it fixing things.

Severus stood. "Falin? Is everything alright?" He asked. Falin didn't reply, instead pushed past his friend and into the other half of the house, slamming the door. Severus and I turned to Draco as he hung up his coat.

"Draco? Have you and Falin been fighting?" I asked.

"No. He's just not feeling well." Draco replied, kicking off his shoes and following his friend into the other half of the house.

Severus sighed and slumped down on the couch. I sat next to him, slipping my arms around him and leaning my head on his shoulder. "It's alright Sev'. You can't expect him to tell you _everything, _he's almost a teenager." I told him.

I felt him flinch beside me. "That's what I'm afraid of." He murmured.

"Attitude." Mother spat. "Spoiled brat, is what he is." She commented. Mother had never liked Falin, mainly because he so resembled his father. I glared at her, but she continued on regardless. "Ah well, not the boys fault, I suppose. He just wasn't raised properly. He and Illumine and Mirianda… now Kelly and Susan, now _there's _some grade A children. I suppose if Mirianda, Falin and Illumine had a better father, like Randy had been, they would behave better…" At this, Severus stood abruptly.

I grabbed his sleeve and made him sit. "Now mother, don't give me that! You never approved of Randy because he was from America, why are you suddenly so fond of him?" I scolded, hurt she had brought up my late husband. She knew that was a sore subject for me.

"I always liked Randy." Mother protested, grumbling. "At least he wasn't a _vampire." _She glared at Severus.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Don't be so superstitious, mother, Severus isn't a vampire! Honestly! You sound like a child!" I told her.

"I'm not the child here, Annenia, _you _are."

"I'm not a child-" I whined.

"Then stop acting like one." Mother snapped. "You need to get that child on a reign, Severus, or he'll run wild all his life." She turned to Severus, who was sitting in silence, his face a hard stone. I always hated it when he got like that. And mother always got him that way faster than just about anything.

"Mother, Falin is a very… unstable... child. He's not likely to 'run wild'." I did air quotes to emphasize my meaning.

"Don't give me that, Annenia, we all know how the saying goes, like father like son. He's going to be a very bad influence on Illumine and Serenia, if he hasn't already on Illumine. On second thought, he's already gotten to her. You need to do something about him before it gets to Serenia too! She's at a very impressionable age."

I sighed, shaking my head and leaning my elbows on my knees, running my hands through my hair and staring at the carpet. "Mum, Falin isn't a bad influence on Serenia." I told her tiredly.

"I won't have it, Annenia, I won't have that boy turning my little angel into a monster, I _won't have it!" _She stomped her foot on the floor. "And what with another on the way, you best get that one straight." She told me.

"I'm not pregnant, mum!" I cried, thoroughly frustrated.

"Nonsense, child. I'm not entirely for it, as you seem to be struggling with the one's you already have, but back in _my _day, we had more than just six children. Have to have a few decent ones to carry on the family name. And what with you only having one son, and him turning out the way he has-" _That _crossed the line.

"Turning out _what_ way?" Severus demanded.

"Sev-"

"NO, Annenia, I want to know what your mother thinks. Tell me, _Loretta, _just what kind of a child do you take Falin to be?" He demanded, glaring at her.

She shifted in her chair, staring at Severus from behind her glasses, a permanent scowl lining her aged features. "A brat." She replied simply. "A spoiled brat, that's all there is to it."

"Why you little-" He jumped up and I grabbed his sleeve again, but this time, he yanked his arm from my grasp. Iosi and Rayph, who had been ignored through this entire conversation, slumped into their seats, looking very much like they wanted to disappear.

Mother stared up at Severus, unimpressed. "You see what I mean, Annenia? Bad temper, foul taste in clothing, never goes out in the sun, wears all black. A vampire, I tell you." She told me.

"Mum!" I cried, exasperated. "I've known Severus for six years! If he were a vampire, I think I'd have found out by now." I told her.

She simply scowled at me in reply. "And I've known _your father _for sixty years, and he never once mentioned that he was a squib, or whatever you call it. He never told me his parents were wizards. Just a bunch of devil-worshippers if you ask me." She muttered.

I let out a frustrated cry, plopping back down on the seat. Severus was still standing, fists clenched, glaring a hole in mother. "Sev, sit. She's a stubborn woman, just let it go…" I sighed, covering my face and very much feeling like pulling my hair out. Or mother's hair… yeah.

Severus slowly sat back down, still glaring at mother, who was busily working on the baby outfit. I silently wondered how she would react when several months passed by and still no baby…

**POV: Illumine Shalom Snape**

I sighed, staring around at the others. They were talking quietly about nothing of interest. After Falin left in a bad mood, the rest of us hadn't bothered to try to have any fun. Whenever the Madness affected Falin, it affected us too. Especially Mirianda, who sat on the park bench, her nose buried in her medical journals, making notes, checking symptoms, and every other obsessive thing she did.

Miriad was idly walking around, staring at the ground, looking to be inspecting a flower patch, but anyone who looked closer could tell she wasn't even looking at it. Her eyes were unfocused as she was in deep thought. Iothi was distractedly showing Lerilia how to catch lizards. Richard and Gregory talked quietly as they sat idly on the swings, the only ones who knew the least about Falin's problem, therefore were bothered the least. But they knew something was up, and that hindered them from putting much enthusiasm into their conversation.

Molly was playing with Serenia in the sandbox, but also seemed distracted, not really staring at the little girl, but staring blindly at the sandcastle they were making, monotonously raising handfuls of sand to pile on top of it, her eyes unfocused like Miriad's, as if she were also in deep thought.

Kelly and Susan were sitting side-by-side on the river bank, just barely visible on the town limits, a good ten meters away from where I stood. I was the only one not pretending to be unworried, other than Mirianda who was frantically consulting her books. I stood in the center of the town square, just about ten feet away from where the park stood, staring into one of the old, dilapidated stores, thinking about when Falin could possibly go into the next stage. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I stormed over to Mirianda and plopped down next to her.

"Well?! Has he gone into the next stage yet?" We all feared 'the next stage' every time a new one showed up. Because the more stages he passed, the closer he got to the last stage. Which was _not _a good thing.

"No, he's still in the fifth stage, the Period of Darkness." She replied, scooting closer to me and holding the book down so I could see.

"What's the sixth stage again?" I asked, lightly reading over what she had written for the Period of Darkness.

"The Depression Stage' I'm worried about this one, because Falin's already depressed about this whole situation, it'll just make it worse." She sighed.

"Can you read it to me? I want to hear it." I whispered. She looked at me for a long moment, then cleared her throat and turned the page.

"Stage six: The Depression Stage. -The victim will find himself sinking into the depths of depression and despair. Like normal depression, only impregnated with nightmares, visions and hallucinations from the previous 'Post-Traumatic Stage' (see page 213) this, being a Stage, will continue to haunt him to his death…." She stopped, her eyes scanning ahead, her shoulders slumped.

"What?" I tried to peer over her shoulder, but she snapped the book shut.

"Just a lot of scientific details and notations." She murmured, stuffing it back in her bag. "I'm gonna go on down to the lab and see what work I can get done." She told me, stuffing her hand in her bag and pulling out some official looking clothes and a lab coat, a few books clattering out with them. She hurriedly stuffed them back in. She glanced around, then headed to the abandoned bathroom shack. I shuddered, silently wishing her luck that she didn't run into any disgusting animals inside.

A few minutes later, she came back out, wearing a knee-length black skirt, a dress shirt that was tucked into the skirt, high-heels and a lab coat, her hair pulled back from her face in a stylishly proficient manner. To pull off the look, she had put on her aging spell, and looked like an adult woman. "At least you don't have to worry about wondering what you'll look like when you get older." I commented and she gave me a quick smile, collecting the rest of her things.

"Yeah. Well, tell dad I might not be back for dinner." She told me, stooping down and kissing my forehead before glancing around, and apperating away. I sighed, slumping in the seat, letting my hands lie limply at my sides. I flashed my eyes open when my hand brushed something. I turned to see that Mirianda had forgotten one of her books.

I snatched it and stared at the plain, navy blue cover, then looked at the spine.

**Mooney Madness and what it does by Mirianda Perios**

A rush of excited adrenaline pumped through me as I opened it to the first page and began reading. There were many hand-written notes on the sides that Mirianda had added, since it was her book.

**I, Mirianda Perios, have mastered myself in the study of mental illnesses and their affects on the mind. After learning that my little brother, Kasan (name changed to protect identity of patient) had the Madness, I was compelled to learn all I could about it. I have spent the last six years of my life in a lab and traveled the world to spend my time the company of patients with a rare mental illness referred to as 'Mooney Madness'. The technical term, Furor Concinavit Rev.**

**After spending many years inspecting the DNA of the infected persons, I have discovered similarities in each and every one of them. Their minds are all deteriorating at a much faster rate than the normal, unaffected mind does. The unaffected mind deteriorates at approximately ten percent the rate as the mind of someone with the Mooney Madness.**

**Mooney Madness is not dissimilar to the madness that affects the minds of Werewolves post-transformation, minus the transformation.**

**"'Well, you see. Moony Madness is a very rare disease of the mind… and those who do have it, can go their whole lives without being bothered by it, or even know they have it. A person is born with the seed of the Madness already planted in their mind. But, a select few exposed to the proper conditions for the Madness to spread, it will slowly eat away at the mind until there's nothing left.'" Said the med-witch that diagnosed Kasan, my little brother and now one of my patients. "'There is no permanent cure, it will eventually kill him.'"**

**While that med-witch is set on believing there is no permanent cure, I have devoted my life to finding one. And, since I have accumulated a vast knowledge of the disease, I felt compelled to write a book to help the families of those who have the Madness as well.**

**Most born with the Madness that are subject to the 'proper conditions' die when they reach the age of fourteen or fifteen, depending on when the first stage of the Madness presents itself. All in all, the victims don't usually last longer than ten years after the first stage. It is my life ambition to prove this inevitable theory wrong.**

**There is a series of ten known stages of the Madness. There are Points, Periods, and Stages. Points, are a point in time, meaning non-lasting, symptoms usually dissipate after a day, but may be recurring. Period, meaning symptom lasts a while, but will eventually be left behind, while traces still may be left. Can last as long as three months, but usually no longer than one. Stage, showing that the Stage of the Madness is long-lasting or even permanent.**

**Ten such Stages are as follows:**

**1. The Silence Period (for more information, see page 76)**

**2. The Snapping Point (pg 155)**

**3. The Post-Traumatic Stage (pg 213)**

**4. The Harm Stage (pg 325)**

**5. The Dark Period (pg 406)**

**6. The Depression Stage (pg 487)**

**7. The Suicidal Period (pg 545)**

**8. The Vacant Period (pg 612)**

**9. The Depression Stage; part 2 (pg 700)**

**10. The Unraveling Point (pg 756)**

**After the start of the first stage (the Silence Period) there are permanent cures that can ensure the Madness will never haunt the victim again. Unfortunately, in most cases, the Silence period is taken by the parents of the victim as a normal childhood stage and not the beginning to a life-long battle of the mind. Should the Madness be caught in its first stage, it can be successfully dealt with and completely removed from the mind.**

**However, in the unfortunately common event that the Madness goes unnoticed until the Snapping Point, nothing can be done from that point on to stop the mind from unraveling. As of yet, no known permanent cure has been discovered.**

I slammed the book shut, unable to read any more. I wiped furiously at my eyes as tears began to form. "What's the matter?" I jumped at the voice to see Gregory sitting next to me, staring at me. I stared back at the gentle boy. I smiled at him sadly, my eyes tearing up again.

"Just a sad book." I told him quietly, my voice watery as I stared down at the book, tracing my finger over the plain, navy blue cover.

"Favorite character die?" He smiled at me carefully and I nodded rapidly, still fighting tears. Yes. My favorite 'character' was going to die. My dearest brother. My sweet protector. My guardian angel. I was going to lose him. That thought made another sob stick in my throat. I covered my face with my hands, leaning forward, hugging the book to my chest. I had always known the Madness would eventually kill him, but the words in the book confirming that, just made it seem all the worse.

"Lumi…?" Gregory's face fell. He knew this was more than just a sad book. "Lu- Lumi?" He put a hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head. "I'm fine." I told him, pulling away from the older boy. "Thanks." I whispered, standing and hastening away. Kelly and Susan, who had already made their way back over to the park, hurried to catch up with me.

"Lumi? Are you okay?" Kelly asked, putting an arm around me. I leaned into the older girl as we walked home, letting the tears roll down my cheeks.

I felt Susan put her hand on my shoulder."Come on, Illumine, you can tell us." I knew she was taking this seriously when she used my full name.

Iothi and Lerilia caught up to us, Iothi was carrying Serenia and holding Lerilia's hand. "Why are we going home so early?" Iothi panted. We all ignored him.

"What's this?" Kelly asked, rubbing her thumb over the top of the book I was holding. I held it closer, hugging it to my chest in a protective manner. Kelly tried to pry it from my fingers. She got it far enough to where she could read the title. "Mooney Madness and what it does? Lumin, you know you're not supposed to be reading this." She told me, looking at me sternly. I just nodded.

She sighed, holding the book and staring at the offending, hard, navy blue cover. She sighed and tucked it under her arm. "Please give it back." I protested weakly.

"No, squirt, it upsets you too much." Kelly told me gently.

"But I _need _to know! Falin's known since he was six!"

"That's because it's _his _problem."

I gaped at her reply. "It's not just his _problem. _It's _our _problem. He's our brother, and we have to stick with him and do everything in our power to help him." I hissed, snatching the book from her and running ahead.

"Lumi," Kelly sighed. "Lumin, wait!" She called after me, but I ignored her.

I didn't stop running until I was back in the house. I went in, ready to slam the door when I heard a familiar name mentioned. It was Falin's name. I stood there, heart pounding from running, trying to breathe as shallowly as possible, but hardly managing as I was out of breath from the long run.

I closed the door as softly as possible and hugged the wall so that I wouldn't be seen. Yes, they were talking about Falin. Grandmother was complaining about him again, mum and father were sticking up for him as usual, and grandmum won in the end. Again, as usual. I always felt like they never defended him enough when it came to grandmother.

"Just a bunch of devil-worshippers if you ask me." She muttered. I bristled at this, not hearing mother's response. I listened for a while as they argued back and forth. I chose that moment to enter the room, glaring coldly at grandmother.

"Lumi." Mum's face lit up and I walked over to her and sat in her lap, hugging her neck.

"Hello mum." I grumbled. I had always been able to accept Annenia as a substitute mother, as she was a hell of a lot better than mother had been, while the others simply refused to accept her as their mum.

"You see what I mean? Manners." Grandmum shook her head. I shot her another glare. "And there it is again." She sighed, her eyes going back to whatever she was making. "You know, I think the reason Falin and Illumine are such brats is because you never take the belt to them, Severus." At this, I blanched, feeling myself go completely numb.

I heard a dull thump and turned slowly to see that Draco and Falin were behind us. Draco was white as a sheet and Falin had all out passed out onto the floor. I scrambled off mum's lap and father shot off the couch, hurrying to the two boys, me and mum not far behind.

"Falin?" Father knelt down beside the boy, putting a hand on his shoulder and shaking him lightly.

"Draco? Sweetie, are you okay?" Mum had also knelt down in front of a frozen Draco, who was staring blindly ahead, his face drawn of color. I stood awkwardly to the side, casting anxious glances at my brother's limp form.

"Falin?!" Father's voice had grown more desperate. "We need to take him to the medical center." Father finally decided, scooping up Falin's tiny form in his arms and standing.

"Draco too, he's not responding to me." Mum replied, waving a hand in front of Draco's face, then snapping her fingers and even taking him by the shoulders and shaking him. Nothing worked.

"Come on." Father told her. She took hold of Draco and moved him over so that they were standing by father and Falin. She took his hand and they disapperated in a cloud of black smoke, leaving us staring after them.

Grandmother's old, batty voice cut through the cold silence of the room. "See what I mean? Devil worshippers."

**POV: Severus Snape**

It was a long wait, in the waiting room. We had to sit there in silence in the insufferable company of a dozen other people, most of which had some odd disease or other that, by the end of the day, I was certain I had picked up about half of them.

"Mister Cerenbus?" I stood up abruptly, starling Annenia, who had been sleeping with her head in my lap. She jumped up too, wobbling on her feet slightly and clinging to me for support. I clung to her as well, but mostly out of concern and anticipation for what the med-witch was about to tell me.

"Yes? Yes, what is it? What wrong with them?" I demanded.

"They're both fine." She sighed. I sighed with momentary relief, but couldn't help but notice the strain on her face.

"Yes, but?" I prompted.

"The one boy, the one you said was called Shypp?" I had given Draco a false name, no need for them to trace him back to Lucius and back to me.

"Yes? What about him?" I demanded.

"Come here, please. I'd like to show you something." She told me quietly. Annenia and I shared a confused look, but followed her as she led us to a small room. Inside, was little Draco, looking pale and drawn. He had a sheet pulled up all the way up to his neck, making me wonder…

Silently, the med-witch walked up to the bed and drew back the sheet all the way down, stopping at his waist to reveal a slim, pale child with many, many, many bruises, cuts and scrapes of every kind lining the otherwise perfect skin. Annenia gasped and I just stared, my eyes roaming from his shoulders to his waist and back again. He was simply covered in bruises. Most of which were fading, albeit slowly.

"This child, plays either really dangerous sports, or is abused." She told us seriously.

"Oh my…" Annenia whispered, her fingers digging into my arm as she clung to me.

"And, considering the physical condition of the child," The med-witch continued, referring to how slim Draco was. "I'd say this here is abuse." She told us.

"I'll kill Lucius for this." I hissed, gently running my hand over the boy's pale, thin arm.

"We'll patch up his wounds, but… mister Cerenbus? There's more." The gravity with which she spoke forced my eyes to meet hers which were staring at me, full intensity, and full of disgust. "This boy has been sexually assaulted. More than once." At this I snapped.

"What?" I cried, making both women flinch. "Damn you, Lucius, you sickening prick." I hissed, turning back to Draco, my heart, once again, breaking for a child who's life was bitterly unfair. I didn't think my heart could take much more of this. One would think that after a life of such misery from loving too easily would make the heart cold and hard, but it only served to soften mine with every heart-wrenching thing, and make it ache all the more.

It was true, I had closed off my heart from my own emotions, but my compassion for others –only those who deserved it- only grew. "I'll talk to his parents about it, possibly put a stop to the sexual harassment but… physical punishments isn't uncommon in the wizarding world, especially among the upper class. This won't be frowned upon, as utterly sickening as it is." I told her sadly.

She sighed and nodded. "Just wanted to draw your attention to it." She told me. "Now if you'll excuse me, we have a lot of work to do on this boy. As for the other one, he seems fine, I just think he had a bad fright and passed out from it, he should be fine to take home right away." She glanced back at Draco and sighed.

We left, going back into the waiting room to once again wait in silence. Only this time, we had more things to worry about. I glared ahead, my mind reeling. Draco, sexually assaulted? _Damn you, Lucius, you better not be the one who's doing that to your own son, you filthy son of a- _my thoughts were cut off by a med-witch as she brought a very pale looking Falin, who hurried to me right away.

I took the trembling child in my arms, staring up at her questioningly. "He was begging to see you. He started throwing a fit when we told him to wait a little bit longer, so we brought him out." She told me.

I held the tiny boy closer and he hid his face in my chest, his whole body shaking. "You won't let her, will you, father? You won't let her belt me?" He whispered.

"No, Falin, I won't." I murmured, suddenly realizing _that_ was what had upset the boys so much. They both had pasts that involved abusive parents, Falin to the extreme, and Draco seemingly still having to deal with it, as recent as his bruises looked. I held the tiny boy to me ever closer, praying he never experienced what Draco had experienced.

A rush of boiling hatred went through me at that thought… the thought of an adult man forcing his lips upon my son's lips, and possibly doing more… I hugged Falin all the tighter, a new rush of anger flowing through me as I thought that _had _happened to Draco. More than once, as the med-witch had told me.

A new feeling of injustice rolled over me, and the need to avenge the poor boy was overwhelming. I would go and speak to Lucius, and he would get a piece of my mind shoved in his face.

**AN: YAY! Draco's problem has finally been brought into the light! Now, what will our dear Sevie-poo do to stop this nonsense? And what will be Falin's fate? (go to my page, there's a poll, please vote on it!)**


	38. Year 2: Chapter 20

**Chapter twenty:**

**Lucius Malfoy**

**POV: Severus Snape**

"I trust you have a good reason for showing up on my doorstep unannounced, Severus?" I stared at the well put together man across from me as we sat in his overly large, well furnished sitting room on the first floor.

"Of course." I assured him. "This matter, I'm afraid, simply couldn't wait. It's about Draco." I saw Lucius stiffen. Like a dear in the headlights. I had him now.

"What about Draco? Is he alright?" I could have laughed at the irony of the question, had it not been for the unbearable urge to scream at the man for acting so damn sincere.

"Yes, he's… actually no." I reconsidered. The boy was abused, and had been bloody raped, s_everal times. _He wasn't alright at all! Lucius clutched desperately at the delicate looking glass in his hands, the drink inside it forgotten as he stared at me. I could have punched him for how well he was feigning his concern.

"Damn it, Severus, my boy! What's wrong with my boy?" He growled at me after I had been silent for a few moments.

"He was just let out of the St. Athynan's magical hospital." I replied quietly.

"What? Why? Is he okay?" He clutched at the glass so hard I silently mulled that it could break at any moment. He was too distracted to even ask about the hospital, as I knew he had probably never even heard of it, as it was located in the muggle world, despite it being a place for magical people. To muggles, it appeared to be a mental facility that was off limits from outsiders and was located in a slightly remote region.

"Don't worry, he was fine, just a minor incident where he was startled into a mesmerized state of mind, nothing the healers couldn't handle." I waved that away and Lucius seemed to relax slightly.

"So… you came all the way here, just to tell me that? Wha-" I cut him off.

"No, I didn't. I'm afraid there's more." I interrupted, my face a cold, hard stone.

The brief smile that had been on his face instantly vanished. "What? What else is wrong?" he demanded.

"Draco… the, healers found out that Draco, has been sexually abused. More than once." I told him gravely. His face paled and the cup slipped dramatically and fell to the floor, shattering and spilling red liquid all over the expensive carpet. The blonde man didn't seem to notice.

"What?" he whispered, stared at me with wide eyes. I nodded. "But… who…?" He whispered, staring blindly past my head.

I'd had enough. "Damn you, Lucius! Why do you have to act so bloody innocent?" I hissed, jumping from my seat and glaring at the man. He looked thoroughly startled.

"What? What are you talking about?" He demanded, also standing.

"You think I'm going to let you get away with this? You're destroying that boy, you, you bastard!" I hissed.

"What?" He sounded outraged. "You, you think I would- NO! I would never! He's my son, for god's sake, Severus! I would never violate him that way!" He cried. I stared at him in shock.

"It… it's not you…?" I asked, the anger lost from my eyes.

"No!" He slumped back down on his seat, staring ahead of him furiously.

"Well, who else could it be, then? Who else has contact with the boy on a regular basis?" I asked wearily, sitting back down as well.

"The house elves, the family healer, his caretaker, his tutor, his broom teacher, his tailor… honestly though, Severus, do you really think I would allow someone like that near my son? I trust everyone who's around him completely! How do we know that this isn't happening at school?" I considered this for a moment.

It simply wasn't possible for it to be one of the teachers, so it had to be one of the students, probably one of the older students taking advantage of the overly-handsome boy. "I suppose that's a possibility." I murmured, leaning back in the chair, rubbing my chin as I thought.

"I want you to find out, Severus. I want this to stop." His voice shook as he spoke, and I found it startling how genuinely the news had affected Lucius. I had thought Lucius was a cold hearted bastard. I hadn't thought him the type to really give a damn about his son. Hell, I had thought for a while there that _he'd _been the one to rape Draco.

"I will, Lucius." I promised. "Believe me. I will."

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

**…two days later after Draco and Falin are let out of the hospital…**

I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, staring at the floor. I shot Falin an accusing glare but he just gave me a look and shook his head, shrugging. I looked up at Severus Snape as the man loomed over me, adorned, as always, in black.

"I…I don't know." I whispered.

"Draco, please, I'm trying to help you! We can put a stop to it if only you tell us who's been doing this to you." Snape pleaded gently. I shot Falin another cold, hard glare and he stared back at me, as if wanting to say, 'why aren't you telling him!?'

Little did either of them know, if I got that man in trouble, he'd hurt my mother. He had threatened me many times of hurting her, and I just couldn't risk it. I stared at my feet silently, refusing to answer.

Snape sighed, slumping in his seat. "You're not going to tell me?" He asked pointlessly, already seeing that I refused. When I didn't reply he sighed again, more wearily this time.

"So you're really going to make me question the whole school?"

I snapped my head up to stare at him. "You won't tell them-" He cut me off.

"No, I won't tell them who I'm referring to, but I was kind of hoping to not have to question the whole school, Draco, there are at least a thousand students here. I get it… if you don't want to tell me exactly who, but… could you at least narrow my search some? House? Year at least?" He pleaded.

I sighed, my mind going into over-drive as I thought. He would eventually find out it wasn't any of the students. Then what? Getting him to search the students would at least buy me some time, but not much. Only a couple weeks at most. I'd have to send him on many wild goose chases, with false trails and leads if I wanted to keep him at bay for even longer, but that would accomplish nothing but buy me a few more weeks, maybe even a month. Again, what then?

"He, wasn't, any lower than a second-year." I began quietly, ignoring Falin's accusing stare. "And he was either, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw or Slytherin." I told him quietly. Snape sighed wearily. I had just cut out the Hufflepuff house, and everyone else who was in first-year. That really had done nothing for him, which was what I was looking for.

"Very well. I'll start questioning them." He told me. "I really wish you'd make this easier for me." He grumbled.

As soon as he left, Falin turned to me, and I to him. "Did you tell him?!" I demanded. "How does he know?"

Falin shook his head. "No, I didn't tell him. Had I told him, I would have told him who had done it. And what the hell was that? Why didn't you tell him? The only reason I didn't tell him myself is because I assumed you had a good reason for not telling him. You _do _have a good reason… right?" He demanded.

I nodded. "Yes. My teacher's threatened many times before to hurt mother if I ever told on him. I can't risk it!" I told him, desperately clutching at his sleeve.

"Draco-" He began in a tone that told me he didn't agree.

"Please, Falin, she's the only person who loves me." I begged.

He stared at me for a moment, then sighed. "Fine. But Draco… this can't go on forever." He told me quietly. "I know." I sighed. "I just… don't know what to do."

**AN: Poor Draco. :( I know how he feels, scared to tell anyone about something cuz you're afraid of hurting someone you love. Please review? :D **


	39. Year 2: Chapter 21

**Chapter twenty-one:**

**Idioms and Idiots**

**POV: Jordan Stecks**

**…about three weeks later…**

In the most recent of weeks, since Cerenbus had left Hogwarts after being physically dragged out of Charms class by professor Snape, rumors had been spreading like wildfires.

"I bet Snape slaughtered him." I jibed, reclining on my bed.

"But that would go back on the earlier rumor that Snape was Cerenbus' father…" Molohov objected.

"No way, I heard of death eaters killing their kids all the time, you know, only the disappointments though. That Cerenbus there was an insignificant piece of work. I'd do the same if I were Snape." I laughed.

"Yeah? Well I heard Cerenbus beat up a Hufflepuff first-year, and his dad was so mad at him, he dragged him to his office and beat the you-know-what out of him, then sent him home to recover so no one would see his wounds and ask questions." Perem piped up.

"Maybe. That makes more sense." I agreed. "But sending him home only makes for more unanswered questions, like, why? What's their excuse going to be?" I asked. Molohov shrugged. I leaned back again, recalling that we'd had this same conversation every day for the past three weeks…

"I still wonder… why would Cerenbus beat up a first-year? I just don't take him as the bullying type."

"Take who as the bullying type?" We all jumped up and spun around to see none other than Cerenbus in the flesh, looking pale as ever. If it were possible, he looked even whiter than usual, more sickly. As if he'd been ill recently.

"Well, you're looking… um, fastidious this morning. Done anything… uh... turbulent… lately?" I asked, grinning at him, expecting him to have to ask me what I meant.

"Utilizing gargantuan idioms to romanticize fabricated intelligence? What a prejudiced, relegated exploitation." He gave me an odd look.

"What?" I cried, sharing a glance with an equally surprised Perem and Molohov.

"You heard me." He replied smoothly.

"Yeah I heard you, doesn't mean I bloody well understood a word you said." I cried.

"Well that's your own fault for not being grammatically inclined, now isn't it?" He smiled at me.

"Maybe, but I have to say, I'm rather impressed with your wide vocabulary." I admitted, then called him a few choice words and grinned when Perem and Molohov snickered.

"As I yours. You seem vivaciously proficient in the scrupulous miscellany of the vulgar phraseology system." Cerenbus replied, unfazed.

"Okay…" I gave him another odd look.

"Tell me, do you ever wonder why people treat you the way they do, or do you just accept the fact that you're hated?" Perm asked, and I smirked, giving him a high-five.

"Tell me, do you ever wonder why you get the grades you get, or do you just accept the fact that you're stupid?" Cerenbus shot right back.

"Ohhh! Snap!" I laughed, turning to Perem and punching his arm. He just scowled.

"Good day." Cerenbus told us distractedly, walking away, leaving us staring after him.

"Okay then…" I sighed, rolling my eyes and plopping back down on my bed. "The probability is now so believable… it's unbelievable! I mean, the guy's a complete lunatic!" I gestured after him wildly.

Molohov nodded. "And we can rule out Snape killing him at least." He added.

"We can't entirely rule out Snape beating the hell out of him though, I mean, it's obvious he's not right in the head." Perem emphasized my words by tapping on my forehead. I shoved his hand away and he laughed.

"Whatever, just keep an eye on him, guys. He's a pretty shifty character. I don't trust him."

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

Although I had outwardly appeared to not at all be fazed by their words, they had hurt me. I didn't know why I let them hurt me, I mean… I knew I shouldn't care what they thought of me. "Say what you want, and do what you will, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." I whispered, then began repeating it to myself and felt better after a few minutes.

I sighed and rolled over when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I smiled up at Draco as he sat down on the edge of my bed. "You okay?" He checked. I nodded, smiling. I had returned to Hogwarts a week earlier than I had expected, therefore I had been out of school for almost a month, but not quite. Draco had gone back after the weekend, after father had interrogated him about who had been hurting him.

"I still think you should tell father." I told him quietly. He just made a face and shook his head, putting his bag down on the floor next to mine and drawing his knees up to hug.

"No." He whispered. "No, I can't."

I sighed. "Draco, he's been interrogating the whole school, he's almost done. And when he finishes, who do you think he's going to go to about lying?" I saw him flinch at that.

"I know, I've been sending him on wild goose chases to make it take longer… but I haven't thought that far ahead yet. I'm not sure what I'll do. He'll be furious with me for letting him think it was a student." I couldn't help but agree with him there. "But hey, good news, my dad's getting me a new teacher!"

I smiled. "Really? That's great! Why'd he sack the old one?" I asked.

Draco shrugged. "He was tired of me asking for a new one."

I laughed at that. Draco could be infuriating at times when he wanted something. "That's great." I told him, smiling.

"So, you want to spend the summer in my mansion…?"

**POV: Severus Snape**

I sighed, going back into my office. It was already Christmas, I couldn't believe the year was finally almost over! Falin would be turning thirteen on June twelfth. That made my life a whole lot easier, as he never expected me to be able to buy him more than one present. –to me, June was close enough to Christmas to count, much to Falin's dismay-

I took the boys to Hogsmeade and let them pick what they wanted. Draco bought his own –thankfully, I don't think I could have afforded it- and Falin picked out a few gifts for his sisters and I got a little gift for Annenia. We invited Draco over for Christmas, but he seemed shaken about something that morning, and we decided to ask again later.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I stared silently ahead of me, clutching at the letter that I had received earlier at breakfast the day after professor Snape took us to Hogsmeade. I had eagerly opened it, praying it was from mother. It had, instead, been from father. I swallowed, my heart quickening just thinking about it.

_"Oh! I got a letter!" I cried, snatching it from my owl. _

_"Me too! Who's yours from?" Falin asked excitedly, ripping his open. I watched his face light up as he read it._

_"Probably mum." I told him. He smiled knowingly, remembering how she would often send little –expensive!- gifts along. _

_My smile instantly vanished when I looked down at the now open letter. It read:_

**_Draco-_**

**_You know who it is, as I don't spoil you with useless treats as your mother does. _**

**_ I'm sending you this to inform you that I will be waiting to pick you up at platform nine and three quarters for the holiday week starting tomorrow. Don't be late. I have something to give you when we get home._**

**_Don't let this minor setback keep you from your studies, or you _****will ****_face the consequences._**

**_-Lucias Malfoy_**

_My world went blank for a moment as the letter slipped out of my hand. My eyes went blind and stared blankly at nothing, the constant chatter in the room had faded to a dull buzz. After a few moments, Falin had attempted to speak to me, but his words fell on deaf ears, and to this day, I do not know what he had tried to tell me._

_I had abruptly stood, climbing over the bench and walking briskly out of the great hall, heading for the bathroom. As soon as I was in there, I put a spell on the room to silence it._

_I immediately broke down in tears, wailing in frustration at the cruelty of life. I lay there, crumpled on the floor, sobbing into my hands for who knows how long._

_I got myself so worked up, I flew into one of the stalls, feeling the little I'd eaten that morning rising in my throat. I retched, turning my stomach inside out in the process and feeling the facsimile of misery afterwards._

_After regaining my composure –somewhat- I went to the sink and stared helplessly at my reflection. My perfectly kept hair was disheveled and in a non-presentable heap on my head. My pale face was streaked with tears and my eyes were red._

_I leaned down, turning on the water and splashing my face. After gargling the disgusting taste of bile out of my mouth, I then got to work fixing my hair, which took about as long as a girl would take with hers. I stared helplessly at my red eyes. I sighed, shaking my head and walking out, waving my wand to un-silence the room as I went, feeling my stomach churning and my mind dwindling on the edge of despair. _

_I had forgotten about Christmas break! I had been so looking forward to spending it in the company of friends at Hogwarts… I even wouldn't have minded spending it with the losers who bullied me as long as my father wasn't there. But lo and behold, my father would hear nothing of it. _

**POV: Harry Potter**

I watched the scene unfold before me as Malfoy wailed in psychological torment. I played with the idea of walking over and trying to comfort him, but I had a good idea that that would only make things worse. Much worse, being as he hated me.

So instead, I just pulled the stall door shut again and listened. I listened to the wails only one in great grief could ever muster from within themselves. Silently, I wondered what could possibly be so upsetting to cause Malfoy, _Draco Malfoy _of all people to break down like this.

I listened until I heard his distress make him ill in a stall not far from my own. While he was still in the stall, I hurried out of mine and out of the bathroom before he could discover me there.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I stared blindly at the letter in my hands, crumpled up and tearstained. Now, I was hiding away in the abandoned girls levorotary, pondering how much time I had left before Christmas break, and how long I'd have to stay home.

I felt the uncontrollable need to sob again as I reread the words, 'I have something to give you'

That could only mean trouble. And pain, lots of pain. I swallowed hard, leaning against the walls and not bothering to try to stop the tears as they came.

"Why are you so sad?" Moaning Myrtle asked. I sniffed, looking up at the ghost as she hovered shyly in front of me.

I sniffed again. "I have to go home for Christmas." I whispered. She cocked her transparent head.

"Why does that make you sad?" She asked.

"Because." Was all I replied with.

"Just be happy you're alive." She whimpered, and, with that, she let out one of her signature cries and flew away, diving into one of the toilets and making a splash. I stared after the lonely ghost, wishing I could be so lucky to join her.

My eyes flew open, an idea suddenly forming in my mind. I felt the gears turning fast in my mind as thought after thought raced through me. I jumped up, nervous excitement giving me energy. I fumbled clumsily with my wand as my shaking hands pulled it out of my pocket.

I felt disappointment overtake me. I didn't know any killing spells! Desperation made me look around the room for any other ways I could do the deed. I stopped myself, staring at my reflection, feeling horrified. Why was I letting such thoughts take over my mind? I needed to get help!

I shook my head, leaning against the sink and breathing haggardly. There was no one who could help me. In my desperation to indeed go through with the act, I took out my quill and parchment out of my satchel. I spent a good long half-hour writing down things I wanted my friends and enemies to know, and letting it all out only fueled my self-hatred even more.

Finally done with it, I folded it and stuffed it in my pocket.

I looked back up at my reflection, seething. I gasped in breaths of air, shaking as sobs choked me. I was helpless. Hopeless. A fit of unbridled rage forced one of my slender, pale fists to smash into my face in the mirror.

In a flash, the mirror shattered, sending shards scattering everywhere and embedding several pieces in my hand, a few flying shards also scraped their way into my face.

I let out a cry of pain, echoing in the empty levorotary, mocking me. I stumbled back, crying out and clutching my hand as blood gushed out of it. I whimpered, my head reeling as it hit the cold, hard floor. The ceiling seemed to be spinning as I stared up at it. I smiled, feeling numbness take over my body from the lack of blood.

This hadn't exactly been what I'd had in mind… but it worked about as well as anything else.

I stared, then blinked, and suddenly, a dark pair of worried eyes stared down at me. I heard them mumbling something, but it was another lifetime away, and I didn't pay it any mind. I smiled again, letting the weakness flow out of me, feeling so light I could float on a cloud.

I saw a flash of white and peace took over my mind. Sweet peace…

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I had searched and searched for a long time for Draco without success. I had already checked the boys bathroom and levorotary, but not the girls.

I stood outside the girls levorotary, ready for whatever punishment I might receive for going in. When I entered, what I saw was not what I expected. I had expected to see girls parading about in nothing but towels, ready to scream wildly at any boys who tried to enter. But that's not at all what I saw.

What I saw, was indeed a horrid sight, but one I was all too familiar with. A limp body lying in a pool of its own blood.

"Draco!" I cried, rushing to his side, trying not to stare at the ugly wound on his hand that was bleeding profusely. I untucked my shirt and ripped a long strip from the bottom, binding it around his bleeding hand and holding it there with a good amount of pressure, avoiding the shard that was still lodged in his hand.

I stared at his peaceful face as he smiled up at the ceiling, worrying me further. I looked up at a sound and saw a girl standing in the doorway, a very shocked expression on her face.

"Miriad!" I recognized her right away. Her face paled. "Go get Madam Pomfrey!" I begged, and she paled a few more shades, but she did run out, and I prayed silently that she had indeed run to get help, rather than run to hide from the scene she had just witnessed.

I returned my attention back to Draco, holding his hand higher than his his heart and squeezing one hand over his wrist to further stop the flow while the other put pressure on the wound. "Draco, you bloody idiot, what the hell were you doing?!" I hissed, not expecting an answer.

The sight and smell of his blood dizzyingly reminded me of many of my own incidents, and I found myself trying desperately not to pass out.

I felt my fiery blood run cold and heat throbbed in my hands and head. I felt it coming. I knew if I didn't do something soon, I would pass out. I stared impatiently at the door, willing it to open. When it finally did, I allowed myself to lose consciousness from sheer relief, my body falling limply over Draco's.

**AN: Dun dun DUNNNNNN! Why Draco? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? :"0 lol, anyway… please review? I'd love to know what you think of this story… all reviews are accepted, mean ones with far less gratitude and enthusiasm, but welcome all the same… so, yeah.**


	40. Year 2: Chapter 22

**Chapter twenty-two:**

**The note**

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I woke sometime later to a throbbing headache. I moaned, raising a trembling hand to clutch at my head.

I blinked my eyes open and looked around a few times before realizing where I was. For an instant, mad panic swelled through me, and I despairingly wondered if I had forgotten to take my medication that morning at breakfast.

But then, there was something else prodding at the back of my mind, trying to remind me of something. I looked around again and caught sight of Draco laying on the bed next to mine, his right hand thickly bandaged. And then it hit me. I remembered what was going on. I hated myself for the relief that I wasn't there on my own accord.

I shifted and something slid off my chest and hit the bed beside me. I shifted again and grabbed it. It was a note. Over the front of it, in Draco's recognizably beautiful artwork he called handwriting, it read;

**For the eyes of my finder only**

Curious, I opened it.

**Dear whoever finds me,**

**I'm sorry you had to see me like this. I'm sure the Draco Malfoy you know is far from committing such an act. But I couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't bear to have people think I was a bully, or a snob. And judge me for it. And my scars go much deeper than just that, I assure you. **

**Over the past few years or so, I've been forced to realize many things. Some shocked me to the point of tears, others were simply dreadful truths that I'd known all along, but had refused to recognize until now. Over time, all of which I've come to accept.**

**One of the main questions I've been struggling with was this: What is my place in life? What is my purpose? They say home is where the heart is, and I've known for some time that my heart indeed is not at home, with the person I've had to call father my whole life but never loved me like a father should. My heart is not in my home, and it never was.**

**I know a lot of people who have left life recently, you're likely reading this, knowing I'm just another forgotten name to be added to the list. Yes, my time has come to leave as well. I must follow the path I was meant to follow, wherever that path may be. So, for now, I bid you farewell as I leave this abandoned life for what's likely to be the very last time.**

**I wanted to write this farewell to you, because I know you deserved an explanation. I hope my bloody body didn't frighten you. And if you find me when I'm still alive, I beg of you, just let me die. If you really care about me, you will.**

**If you are a certain Gryffindor girl, please know, I don't hate you, blood isn't everything, and I'm grateful you cared. If you're a certain Slytherin girl, whom likes my best friend, same for you. I have always liked you, I wish we could have been friends.**

**Draco Malfoy; demon by blood, angel by nature**

**If you are a certain Slytherin boy, whom has eyes like the blackest nights; please rest assured that your secret died with me, and, as promised, will be carried to my grave. Thanks for supporting me, and trying your best. You're a great friend, and I'm sorry I let you down. But… you know what happened to me. You understand what I've gone through.**

**Just please understand that, it wasn't you. You couldn't have done anything more than you were to stop this from happening. It would have happened sooner or later. I felt sooner better than later, so as to just rid the world of my filth…. I couldn't stand another day like this.**

** After I'm gone, please give this to my father for him to read. I have a few things I'd like to say to him.**

**Farewell forever,**

**Draco Malfoy; conceited by name, tortured by heart**

**P.S. I have included some personal thoughts below for my father's eyes only.**

I swallowed hard, wondering what was in Draco's life that he felt giving up over. I glanced over at him.

It must be pretty bad, after all… I hadn't given up on myself yet. If he were worse off than I was, he must be in pretty bad shape. I sighed and refolded the note, curiosity biting away and begging me to read what he'd written for his father, but I respected his desire for privacy.

I lay my head back down on the hard pillow, staring blindly at the ceiling once more. I had almost been too late to save him. I couldn't make that mistake ever again. I couldn't lose Draco. He was the only thing keeping me sane.

**AN: Sorry it's kinda short... next chapter ought to make up for it though. And special thanks to Lady Vyxen for your constructive criticism. I will take it to heart. :)**


	41. Year 2: Chapter 23

**Chapter twenty-three:**

**Thank you**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I woke up to a soft light. I smiled, sitting up in the white room. I looked around, and saw that I was surrounded by angels. All my friends and family that had ever passed away were there before me. And among the faces, I saw Falin. I smiled again, joyful at seeing him.

I blanked. Wait… Falin wasn't dead…. I blinked several times and the luminosity that everything seemed to have been bathed in was suddenly gone, and the super-natural glow was replaced by the dull, natural light of day.

I furrowed my brow, staring up at Falin as he stared back down at me with a blank expression, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

I didn't understand… wasn't I dead? Maybe I was, I was just seeing Falin for one last time before I died? Yeah, maybe that was it. The thing was, he didn't look sad enough to be mourning my death. Maybe, he wasn't sad I was gone? I felt my heart drop at the thought.

"You're not dead, Draco." I was startled out of my thoughts by his words, which were terse and straight to the point. I furrowed my brow again, sitting up. I felt something on my hand and looked down to see that it was completely wrapped in white bandages that had a dry red stain from where blood had tried to leak through.

I looked back up at Falin, who continued staring at me blankly. "Why?" Was all he asked. I let my gaze drop, wishing my attempt had worked, so I didn't have to be in the sorry situation of having to explain to my best friend why I wished I were dead. "I thought we trusted each other?" Falin began. "I thought, I could trust you to come to me and tell me if there was something on your mind that could possibly drive you to do something like this. I thought, that you trusted _me _enough to come to me and talk. Why?"

I slumped my shoulders, feeling defeated. "Falin, I-" He cut me off, taking out a note from his pocket. It took me only a few seconds to realize it was my suicide note.

His eyes scanned the page. "'Just please understand that, it wasn't you. You couldn't have done anything more than you were to stop this from happening. It would have happened sooner or later. I felt sooner better than later, so as to just rid the world of my filth' Draco! What were you thinking!?" he cried.

He held up the paper and stabbed at it angrily with his finger. "This, is what you resort to? You pull the, 'it's not you, it's me' card on me? What are you, a troubled teen breaking up with his girlfriend? Draco! No matter what you think, there is always someone out there with a far harder life than your own, and there always will be! Suicide, is _not_ the answer!"

I swallowed hard, shifting uneasily. "It never has solved anything before, and it never will! 'And if you find me when I'm still alive, I beg of you, just let me die. If you really care about me, you will'" He was reading from the note again.

He looked back up at me. "Draco! If you had done what you wanted to, let me rephrase that, if I had let happen, what you wanted to happen, and just, _let you die, _that would have been letting the pain win, that would have been letting your teacher, that would have been letting your _father, _win. And I won't let you do that, I won't let you give up, because I care about you too much to 'just let you die.'"

I was staring at my lap now, thoroughly ashamed of letting my pain influence my actions. He stared at me seriously, letting his words sink in. He moved forward, grabbing my arm and pulling my sleeve back. I winced, staring at the bruises. Falin then pulled his arm forward and put it next to mine, ripping his own sleeve back.

I stared from my arm to his. Mine, had dark purple blotches on the otherwise unmarred skin. His, however lacking the bruises, had line upon line upon line of scars, barely visible over the milky white skin. There were, however, many fresh ones that looked as recent as months ago.

"You see them, don't you?" He traced his right finger over the scars on his left wrist. I also noticed many names written in smeared black ink over them. Some were hard to read, others were barely visible. I saw my name at the top of the list. "You know what they are?" He asked, and I shook my head rapidly, dreading what he was about to tell me. "They, are the result of self-harm. That's right, I used to cut." He yanked his sleeve back down.

"But it never helped anything, never saved me, never changed anything. It just made a big mess that I had to clean up so my father wouldn't find it. Made more trouble for myself than anything else." He moved away from the bed, looking away from me and crossing his arms. "Nine hundred and eighty-seven." Was all he said, shifting his weight from one leg to the other before turning to look at me, the same serious expression donning his features.

"That's how many times I cut before I realized it didn't help a thing. When I realized I was letting my pain win. I was doing it all through last year, up until a certain point, where a certain boy made my life completely different, just by being a part of it." His expression changed to despair. "I reverted back to it sometime in the summer. I refrained from it right after we saw each other in the train station. After you said I was your best friend." He closed his eyes and I saw a red tear slide down his face.

"When you promised you'd write." I winced, suddenly remembering that I hadn't written him all summer.

"Falin, I-"

He cut me off gain. "It doesn't matter. I stopped doing it sometime last month, the day Miranda and Lumin came. It doesn't help anything. My point is, self-harm does nothing but make things worse. And suicide, certainly doesn't help either, because it just leaves a mess for your loved ones to have to clean up. A mess you made. Don't do anything like this again, okay Draco?" He pleaded, coming up to stand in front of me.

I stared up at him, then let my gaze drop, lingering over my bandaged hand, then looked back up at him, staring deep into his soulless eyes. And then it hit me. His eyes weren't soulless. They had more soul in them than any person alive. More heart, more love for the simplest of things than any other being to ever walk the earth.

"No, I won't do it again." I told him quietly. He stepped forward, taking my uninjured hand in his and leaned his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. I closed mine too, feeling his hot forehead slowly cool back down, feeling his warm, clammy hands return to their frigid state as he calmed down.

"Thank you, Draco." He whispered. I felt a lock of his raven hair fall forward and tickle my face. I smiled sadly.

"No, thank _you_."

**POV: Severus Snape**

For the sake of the boy, I fully supported the notion that what had happened that day in the lavatory was a complete accident. Falin had informed me of Draco's family problems, however had been brief in explanation, seeing as he wanted to preserve the sacred trust in their bond. He didn't want to divulge too much information without first asking Draco's consent.

I came to understand Falin's sudden interest in Draco, after he had told me a few things Draco had had to deal with in his life. Many things Falin had experienced in his own lifetime. An overwhelming sense of pity for both boys and their wretched lives came over me, and the unexplainable desire to protect them both came along with it.

I sighed, watching Falin help his sister carry her books out of the classroom the morning after Falin was let out of the hospital wing. I watched Miriad Hensul and Mirianda follow them out. They had somewhat worked out their qualms with one another and got along quite well, hanging about each other quite often.

Draco himself still was not fond of having to share Falin with three extra people, of course, but he had gotten used to the idea that no matter what he did, they loved Falin too much to leave him. For in the walk of life, as it goes, Lumin and Mirianda had a pretty good idea of just how rocky a road it was for Falin. Miriad, I only assumed had been filled in on a few of the nuances as far as Falin's life went. Draco himself probably knew Falin's every secret. I wouldn't put it past the boys to share every ploy, travesty, clandestine, dream, hope, secret wish, love or fear they had ever produced, dreamt, hoped, wished and felt.

I was overly-pleased Falin had found someone he could confide in, but I was a little wary that it was Draco whom his heart was being spilled to. I had nothing against the young platinum blonde… it was his parentage that I had qualms with. Lucias and Narcissa Malfoy –two of Voldemort's most loyal followers. Not two of his most passionate followers, obviously, but most definitely loyal.

And being that Voldemort believed Falin to be dead, he now had his devil's eye on Draco. Young, sweet, innocent, little Draco. It was a shame, an utter suffocation on life that the beautifully innocent boy had to have been born of the pits of humanity, much like Falin himself. Had I had the power within me, I would have saved Draco as well, but it was beyond my wherewithal.

I had been taking chances when I had told the Dark Lord my son had already died from his mental illness, and I had nearly crossed the line when I had told him that Lumin was born to the same fate, and that Mirianda had disappeared.

It was hard to keep my mind free of thoughts of them during death eater meetings, as they occupied my thoughts twenty-four/seven the rest of the time. But I managed.

I sighed, closing and locking the door to my office. It was the end of the school year, and it was time to head home.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I was up in the dorms, packing up my bags when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked back to see Stecks standing there, smiling. I glowered at him and brushed his hand off, my eyes going back to my things as I packed them. I glared murderously at Stecks as he moved around me, plopping onto my bed as if it were his own, tossing a little ball back and forth from one hand to the other.

"May I help you?" I asked coldly.

"Well," Stecks began. "You see, we were thinking…" Oh great, this couldn't be good… "We should try to get along, you know? I mean, after all, life is a very short thing. Why waste it hating each other every waking moment?" Stecks voice was extremely condescending.

"Oh, you discovered that you only live once? Please tell me more about your scientific discoveries." I snapped, glaring at the boy.

"Try looking at the world from our perspective, ghosty." Molohov clapped me on the back, making me stumbled forward slightly, eyes wide as the wind was soundly knocked out of me. "We're just trying to make the school a better place by reducing bullying." He smirked at me with about as much good intention as a hungry lion.

"I tried my best to see things from your point of view, but your point of view is stupid." I replied, still trying to even out my breathing.

"Wow, you seem to be in a good mood." Molohov said sarcastically, leaning on my bedpost.

I glared at him. "No, I'm not in a good mood today. There's a reason why I growled when you came within five feet of me." I replied smoothly, my black eyes narrowed as I stared at him.

He laughed, nodding. "Aw, you're cute when you're mad." Stecks teased. "Yeah? Keep it up, I'm about to get bloody adorable!" I hissed, clenching my fists.

Stecks shook his head, eyes slightly wide. "I'm making extremely civilized conversation here and you're biting my head off." He cried. I fixed him with my best icy glare. He sighed, turning and planting his feet firmly on the floor, perched on the side of my bed. "Look. All I'm saying is I think we should lay off each other, okay?" He told me.

I stared at him with narrowed eyes, unsure whether or not to believe his sincerity. "Fine." I grumbled, my eyes going back to my trunk. Truthfully, _I _had never done anything to them. _They _had been the ones picking on me. So I was more than willing to agree with them if it meant they would leave me alone next year, but I wasn't about ready to let my guard down…

Stecks grinned and jumped off my bed. He slapped my shoulder again as he passed, once again knocking the breath out of me. "Great, see you next year man."

**AN: So, do you think Stecks is serious? And it's the end of the second year, next up will be the summer break/third year. Summer break is going to be paid more attention to than the last one, as it will be full of, ahem, a few… interesting things you won't want to miss. **


	42. Summer break: Chapter 1

**Chapter one:**

**Summer Break; Teacher**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"And, we can explore the gardens, and go flying…"

"I hate exploring, and I'm scared of heights."

"And we can go to Hogsmead and Diagon Alley…"

"I hate shopping and public places."

"Well then, we can boss around the house elves and pick on the peacocks."

"I'm not a slave driver and I happen to like peacocks."

"Then we can have a sing-along and dress like hobos."

"You really don't want to hear me sing, and I already look like a hobo."

"AHH! Stop being so picky!" I cried, staring at Falin Cerenbus Snape as he sat across from me in the carriage. We were on our way to my mansion after a long year at Hogwarts. Falin had gotten permission to come and spend the summer at my home with me, with the understanding that Mirianda, Falin's older sister, had to come every so often to check on him and restock his medicine supply, and that I was to owl Snape the moment something weird happened or if Falin's mood changed, he stopped taking his medicine… etc.

Ever since Snape had found out that I was sexually abused, he had been questioning all the students at Hogwarts, under the false belief that it was one of them who did it. I had fed that assumption like a dying fire. I didn't want him to find out it had actually been my personal tutor, the one father had hired to teach me before I was old enough to go to Hogwarts. He had been living with us for six years, abusing me practically every day for those six long years, and still, father didn't know the man had been sexually abusing me from the start. He trusted the man completely, and nothing I said ever changed that.

"Don't give me that, I've heard you sing before, you sound like an angel fallen from heaven." I grinned at him, mischief sparkling behind my molten silver eyes. I _had _heard Falin sing before. And it was true, he had the voice of an angel, but refused to admit it, and vehemently argued against me whenever I tried to convince him to join the choir at Hogwarts.

"There's a reason angels fall from heaven. You know. The one's who can't sing?" He told me seriously. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Ah, here we are." I smiled as the gigantic house pulled into view. Falin was absolutely speechless as we stepped out of the carriage, clutching our bags from Hogwarts.

"Whoa…" He breathed, a grin spreading over his face.

"Come on, just set your bags down here, the house elves'll get them. Katty!" I called and my favorite house elf instantly appeared. She had been my second favorite, second only to Dobby before that blasted Potter tricked father into setting him free.

"Master called for Katty? How can Katty be of service, sir?" Katty asked.

"Take our bags to my room." I told her.

"Yes sir, Katty will take master and master's friend's bags to master Draco's room." She snapped her fingers and was gone instantly, the bags as well.

"Come on!" I cried, snatching Falin's hand and pulling him up the drive.

We laughed as we ran, but then I slowed as we reached the house, and my heart started pounding again. I nervously fiddled with the bandage on my hand. My knuckles were still healing from a few months back, when I had punched a mirror and would have bled out had Falin not found me in time. I still wore the bandage, despite the fact that I was told I could take it off. I was too scared to see if my hand was scarred from the glass.

I sighed. "Come on." I told him quietly.

"Your dad got you a new teacher, right?" Falin leaned over to me as we waited for the door to open.

"Yeah, he did. He owled me about it just before we left school." I replied.

A house elf opened the door and I smiled at her. "Master Draco's back from school! And he's brought a friend! Oh, Winky's delighted to see master Draco and his friend!" She cried.

"You too, Winky." I told the excitable house elf, handing her our jackets.

"Whoaa…" Falin stared in wonder at the inside of my huge house. I looked around too, but with less excitement. It was all familiar to me. "Man, Lumin is going to be so jealous. She wanted to come too you know." Falin told me as we were led into the sitting room.

I smiled and nodded, the magic of the moment slowly fading as we sat and waited for father to come and greet us. I felt my heart jump when I heard the door to father's study open and heard voices coming out and hear their feet tapping lightly on the floor.

"See? Master Draco is back from Hogwarts!" One of the house elves was telling father as he came out.

"Yes yes, go away." He shooed the house elf and came out to greet us.

He completely ignored me, turning instead to Falin. "Ah, yes, you must be Falin Cerenbus? Wonderful of you to come." He smiled at the pale boy and shook his hand. I was no longer staring at my father. I was staring at the man behind him. I stared up into the cold grey eyes of my teacher as he stared back at me, a wide smile plastered over his frighteningly sharp features. Only, his eyes seemed fixed on Falin this time, rather than me. He seemed to be surveying Falin in, what I found to be, a most unnerving fashion, though Falin seemed quite unbothered by it.

I began feeling despair writhe its way into my chest. I had thought my tutor would be gone by then, since it was summer. But father insisted that I take summer lessons to get head starts on the next year. Father had promised me a new teacher! So much for weeks of begging, pleading and tantrums, only to result in punishments, and, what'ya know, same old stinking teacher. I wanted to scream at father, 'I thought you got a new teacher!?' but I refrained, knowing I'd pay for it later if I did.

"Orl Schond, pleased to meet you, young man. And, what is your name?" He asked in his thick Irish accent, taking Falin's hand in his own in a firm grip I knew all too well.

"Falin Cerenbus, sir." Falin replied, unwavering.

Father sent us a forced smile that looked genuine only by years of practice. "Well, Orl, it seems you can teach mister Cerenbus over the summer as well, as he will be staying with us." Father sent us another fake smile, his voice smooth and silky. Like a serpent.

"Wonderful, I look forward to… teaching him." Orl replied, smiling at Falin with about as much good intention as a politician.

Father, seemingly pleased at this, turned and walked away, leaving us alone with the man whom still had Falin's hand locked in his own firmly."Well, come along boys, we have work to do." He told us, turning and walking up the stairs, pulling Falin along with him. I would have turned and run, had fear for my friend not driven me to follow them.

"Falin." I whispered to him as we went up the long staircase. He glanced at me. "That's my teacher." I hissed.

He glanced at the man, then turned back to me. "I thought your father got a new one…?" He whispered.

"He told me he had but…" I shook my head and his eyes suddenly grew wide, but it was too late, we had arrived at the classroom and Orl had pushed us in, closing and locking the door.

"Hello, boys. Welcome to my domain." He whispered, staring at us. "And I must say, Falin. I thought Draco was the most angelic boy I'd ever met." He told him, pulling his hand up to kiss it. "But now I know I was wrong." He whispered. Falin chuckled nervously, desperately trying to pry his hand free from the man's strong grip.

Orl wasted no time at all on starting on Falin. In one, swift movement, Falin had been pinned against the wall, my teacher's body shoved against his. Falin screamed, but I knew it did no good. The room was charmed to make screams sound like indistinct murmuring and a few understandable words that sounded like someone teaching.

I covered my ears as I heard Falin's piercing scream be cut off to a muffled cry, closing my eyes as tears streamed down my face. I knew the feeling, the feeling of helplessness that is brought down upon you when being over-powered by someone. I opened my eyes to see one of the most horrible things I had ever seen. Orl's face was smashed against Falin's, his lips forced mercilessly against the tiny boy's, pale, thin lips. Falin desperately struggled, but he was pinned, he couldn't escape.

I felt horrendous! Like a hag, or the scum of the earth. I had invited Falin over for the summer to have fun because I had believed father had gotten me a new teacher! But now that was all ruined, and the only thing Falin had never had happen to him was this. He'd never been sexually harassed, and now, he was going to be permanently scarred, as I was. And he was going to lose the little bit of hope and joy he had left in his life.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I was wildly alarmed when I felt the man shove me harshly up against the wall, causing the back of my head, the most sensitive part, to hit the hard surface smartly. I cringed, dazed, but had little time to do anything more than scream as the man's lips were soon cruelly smashed upon mine, his tongue searching every corner of my unwillingly open mouth.

I whimpered as I felt his hands traveling my body, the back of my head throbbing. I felt my hot tears coming on, and silently willed them on. Maybe they would frighten the man away? But they did no such thing. Other than burn the hell out of my cheeks. Somewhere nearby, I could hear the sound of sobs over the ringing in my ears.

I flailed my arms uselessly, pushing against the body that was crushing mine against the wall. I couldn't breathe, as my lungs were compressed and my mouth was blocked by the man's ruthless kiss. He pulled back for need of air and I gasped in as best I could, whimpering and begging him to stop, sobs rocking my sore body.

I wailed as I felt his lips against my neck, feeling his hands undo the buttons of my shirt. "No, no please!" I begged, my voice choked and watery as I stared at him, my eyes wide and filled with bloody tears that nearly blocked my vision. I clutched desperately at his fingers as they undid the last buttons. I felt his lips roam down my bare chest once he had fully unbuttoned my shirt and ripped it off, leaving me in nothing but my trousers and boots, my pale chest pumping up and down with my labored breathing. I whimpered again, pushing at him desperately. Was this how I had made Draco feel when I had lost my mind?

I stopped struggling, suddenly wondering if I deserved this, after the way I had treated my best friend. Was it my punishment? I felt my heart beating rapidly as the man's lips met my own again, only this time, my lips were unresisting, and my body was completely still. I was frozen to the spot and allowed him to do to me what he wanted, feeling as if I owed Draco. Maybe if the man had his way with me, and liked me better, he would give Draco a break?

I closed my eyes, still feeling the burning tears, and the aching chest as my lungs were deprived of oxygen and my heart beat rapidly against it, but I resisted the urge to fight back. This was my punishment. I had to take it. For another few minutes, the man's lips worked hard against my own soft, thin lips, thoroughly enjoying himself as he ran his hand through my soft, midnight hair with one hand, making me cringe as he pulled at my hair, making my sensitive scalp bleed. I felt the hot drops sliding down my forehead as his other hand roamed my body.

"Mm, that's nice. I like you, you don't fight. You know your place." Orl whispered into my ear after finally pulling his lips away from my own, making me stiffen and let out a whimper. "But let's see how good you really are." My eyes flashed open at that, and I began rapidly shaking my head, knowing what he meant.

"No! NO!" I screamed as I felt myself being picked up. I kicked wildly, pounding my fists against his back as I was slung over his shoulder and carried out of the classroom and into his personal room. "Let me go!" I wailed, feeling an aching dread rising in my chest as his boney shoulder dug into my stomach. I hadn't gone that far with Draco! Did I deserve this too? Surely not… "Please, please, no…" I begged, my last sight being Draco as he kneeled over on the floor, his face in his hands as he sobbed his heart out, before a heavy door was closed and I was thrown onto a bed, the dark man looming over me.

**AN:** **Please don't hate me for doing this to Falin! But it had to be done… me sorry! :"( please review? **


	43. summer break: Chapter 2

**Chapter two:**

**Fault**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"I don't have time, clean up the mess in my room, boy or you're next." My teacher hissed at me as he fixed his clothes, heading out of the classroom and locking the door with magic. He was probably going to tell father he'd assigned us homework to do and we shouldn't be bothered, by house elves or anything, as he had left food for us –which he hadn't- and we wouldn't need them. But he used that excuse a lot.

I silently dreaded what I would find as I cautiously made my way over to my teacher's private room which branched off from the classroom for easy access. After hearing Falin's constant, horrid screams accompanied by loud, wailing sobs for the whole half hour they'd been in Orl's room, I was terrified of what kind of a state the poor boy was in. His screams had abruptly stopped about five minutes before Orl came out, which only served to worry me further.

"Falin?" I whispered, looking into the dim room. The room was in turmoil, the bedspread on the floor, the sheets a tangled mess. But among them, lay a sickly pale form. A dizzyingly familiar body. Falin.

I rushed over to the bed, struggling up onto it as it was high off the floor. I crawled over to him, worry creased on my brow as I felt a cold, hard stone settle at the pit of my stomach. I placed a gentle hand on his bare back, as he lay, naked on the bed, the bloody sheets covering his legs only. I sniffed, feeling tears forming in my eyes as I pulled it up to cover him better. Silently, I remembered the first time Orl had done this to me. I had been in so much pain. It had been nearly impossible to hide it from my parents. Especially mother.

"Oh Falin. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I whispered, my voice choked with tears. I leaned over him, hugging his thin body and leaning my head on his back, feeling his bare skin tremble against my face and hands. But it wasn't ice cold, as it was supposed to be. He was warm, and clammy. Worry started to take over me again. What if he was ill?

"Falin? You gotta wake up, buddy." I croaked, shaking him carefully. He let out a tiny sound, so small I could almost swear I had never heard it, but then I heard it again. A tiny whimper of pain. A heart-wrenching sound. The same sound I had made the first time this had happened to me.

"Falin?" I whispered, leaning my head down in front of his face, which was drawn and pale. His eyes fluttered open and stared at me, but seemed to have trouble focusing his beautiful little black orbs. "Hey." I whispered softly, brushing the back of his head gently, making him cringe. "Hey, buddy, it's okay." I told him softly. He squeezed his eyes shut again, a few bloody tears streaking down his face and dripping onto a patch of white on the sheets that wasn't already covered in blood.

"It, hurts." He slurred.

I nodded. "I know." I whispered, gently stroking his hair which was damp from nervous sweat and lord knows what else. "Come on, I have to get this cleaned up or else he'll come back in and…" I swallowed. "Do it again." I whispered. Falin flinched. "It's okay, I'm here." I murmured as he whimpered frantic protests.

I felt him try to move, and I saw his face twist unimaginably in pain. I looked around hurriedly for his clothes and saw them strewn in random places around the room. I slid off the tall bed and hurriedly gathered them while Falin tried again to move. I went into the bathroom and grabbed a clean towel to wrap him in before he bathed, so he wouldn't bloody up his clean clothes.

I helped him off the bed, albeit slowly, and wrapped the towel around him, letting him lean on me as I helped him into the bathroom. "Might wanna make it quick, in case… in case he comes back." I told him as I drew the water for the bath, making it as cold as possible. I personally had taken a very hot bath after my first time, as it had soothed the ache, but Falin needed to be cooled off, so I helped him into the ice cold water, then hurried back into the room to clean up the mess, checking in on him regularly to find him most times with his head leaned back, staring blankly ahead of him.

I discarded the sheets, putting them in the 'dirty pile' in Orl's closet for said purpose. He made me clean up after every time he did it to me, so I knew where it was. I soon had the room spotless again, and went back into the bathroom, finding Falin exactly as I had left him, sitting in the cold water, head leaned back, eyes unfocussed and staring blindly at nothing.

I put a hand to his forehead, relieved that he was cold again. "Falin- Falin you, you gotta clean yourself off." I murmured, shaking him. He didn't respond. I sighed, trying to get him to respond once more before grabbing a washcloth and scrubbing him down head to toe, as the blood was crusty and wouldn't come off by itself. I was, truthfully, very glad Falin seemed unaware of his surroundings at that point, as it would have been rather awkward otherwise.

I was gentle as possible on his face and head, as there were long red streaks from where he'd been crying, which were obviously raw, and his scalp was bloody from his hair being pulled by that… that _bastard. _

I then drained the water, staring at the swirl of water as it left the tub, my mind in a helpless buzz of anger and worry. I helped the dazed boy out of the tub and dried him down, doing basically all the work of clothing him, as he was almost entirely unresponsive.

"Falin? Can you hear me?" I begged as I helped him back out into the classroom. He didn't' respond, which worried me further.

"Come on, Falin, you gotta wake up." I told him, sitting him down. At this, he winced, as I knew it was very painful to sit afterwards, but I knew it might at least wake him from his trance. "Please Falin, answer me!" I snapped my fingers in front of his face. "I know you're in shock right now but…" I swallowed. "You gotta wake up!" I felt tears rushing down my cheeks again.

I wrapped my arms around his thin frame, burring my face into the crook of his neck and sobbing. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, he's not supposed to be here… he wasn't supposed to be here, I'm sorry!" I whispered repeatedly into his ear. After a while, Falin woke from his trance. He sat in silence as I hugged him, staring at the floor, his face twisted in pain, bloody tears streaking down his deathly pale skin.

"It's n-non your… f-faullllt." He slurred.

"No, it is! I Shouldn't have made you come." I whimpered, burying my face deeper into his baby soft midnight hair.

"You din't m-make me come." He reminded me quietly, sitting awkwardly in the chair to try to reduce the pain as much as possible.

"I want you to go home, you can't stay here all summer like this!" I told him.

"N-no, I can't go h-home! Father w-w'll ask why, an-n-n I…" he swallowed. "I don't want to… t-talk about-t this." He whispered, still stuttering. I felt a shiver pass through his body and I hugged him closer. "Is thin what you've h-had to go through f-for the past s–s-six years?" he whispered, staring at me as best he could albeit me still hugging him.

I pulled back slightly, staring at his tiny, pale hands as they twisted in his lap. "Yes." I replied quietly.

"If you can-n handle it, I can t-too." He told me quietly, but determinedly.

"What? No! I don't want you to have to go through this! You have enough in your life to worry about!" I told him.

"But you-"

I cut him off. "Because I have to! There's nothing I can do to get away from it, but you can!" I told him. "Please, please leave." I begged, taking his tiny hand and squeezing it gently.

"I'm n-non leaving." He told me firmly, his voice shaking slightly, still slurred and hoarse.

"But Falin-"

This time he cut me off. "I'm non letting y-you face thi-ss on your own, Draco." He told me, letting out a short cough and his face twisting in pain. I saw blood dripping from his mouth and I cringed, wondering if he'd bit his tong. After he recovered, he kept talking. "Besides, w-while I'm here, your father can't hur-urt you, and your teacher obviously like-ss me m-more, maybe he'lllay offyousome if he h-has me…" He whispered, some of his words running together. I was horrified by that thought.

"NO! I-I don't want that! I don't want him to hurt you again!" I cried, very shaken by the thought as I took out my handkerchif and began dabbing atthe blood dripping down his chin.

"I'm non leaving youhere to f-face this onyourown, Draco." He whispered, staring ahead, as if ready to go into a daze again, still running words together. I clung to him, feeling my chest ache with my heart. It had never been my intention to drag him into this with me! I just wanted him to be safe… and happy. But it seemed that I had ruined any happiness he had ever had. It would be gone now, and there was nothing that could be done.

**AN: NOOOO! I feel so bad now... but you'll see! I have a good reason behind it all! Please trust me! Review? :) **


	44. Summer break: Chapter 3

**Chapter three:**

**The Painful Truth**

**POV: Severus Snape**

"You're sure nothing's wrong?" I asked for the umpteenth time that day.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm okay." Mirianda mumbled, staring at her plate, rolling her spaghetti over her fork, but not eating it. I glanced at Annenia and she too was staring at Mirianda with concern, as Mirianda normally loved Annenia's spaghetti.

"Very well… just, let me if there's something bothering you… you know you can talk to me-us… right?" I checked and she nodded.

"I'm fine." She insisted. I sighed, knowing I couldn't _make_ her tell me what was wrong. She was a stubborn girl, nothing could.

It was then that I took in the fact that she was indeed just a girl. She posed as a woman practically every day of her life, and sometimes I had to remind myself she was still just a child.

Annenia cleared her throat. "Okay, well, while Falin's away at a friend's house, and Kelly and Susan off at summer camp, we get some bonding time." Annenia changed the topic, smiling at our lessened group.

I looked around the table. It was just me, Annenia, Mirianda, Illumine and Serenia. "Yay!" Illumine shouted.

"Yippee." Mirianda sighed, setting down her fork. "Can I go to my room?" She almost begged. I stared into her deep, electric green eyes and sighed, nodding slowly. She shot out of her seat and raced for the stairs, thundering up them and slamming her bedroom door.

Illumine stared after her sister in confusion. "Daddy? What's wrong with Miria?" She asked.

"I don't know, Lumi." I sighed. "I don't know."

**POV: Lucius Malfoy**

**…one week later…**

I stared down at the many papers on my desk and sighed wearily, only just refraining from banging my head off the desk in growing frustration. A timid knock on my door gave me the excuse of pushing the papers to the back of my mind as I stood to answer it.

Expecting to see Narcissa back early from wherever the hell she was, or Schond, or even one of the house elves, I was slightly taken aback by seeing Draco standing there, looking terribly upset. I sighed and gestured for him to come in. "Shouldn't you be with your little friend?" I asked tiredly, plopping back down at my desk.

Draco was fidgety, adding to my irritation as he shifted from one foot to the other, chewing on his lip and playing with the cuffs of his sleeves. "Father?" He began carefully, staring at the floor. I blinked solemnly, a blank expression on my face. I wasn't really in a bad mood, I was just tired, but my tiredness could easily change to anger if Draco frustrated me enough, this he knew.

"It, it's Falin… actually. He's, he's hurt." He whispered.

I furrowed my brow. "He's only been here a week, what could possibly be wrong? He seemed fine at breakfast…" I trailed off, remembering how quiet he'd been. I had known he was a naturally quiet boy, but he had seemed to be in pain, and hadn't even touched his food. At the time, I hadn't really cared. But I had to admit, I _had_ noticed that, as the week progressed, he seemed to be lower and lower in his mood.

"What's wrong with him?" I finally asked.

Draco shifted uneasily, staring at the floor. "Mister Schond hurt him." He whispered.

My temporary interest in the problem vanished, my irritation flared up and turned into anger. "Draco! How many times have I told you not to make up lies about that man!?" I cried, jumping up so suddenly I spilled my ink all over the papers.

"See what you did? You made me spill my ink over my important documents! This is what happens when you come to my office and tell lies!" I slapped him with the back of my hand and he fell to the floor, whimpering. "Get out of my sight!" I screamed at him and he scrambled to his feet, unable to get away from me fast enough for my liking and received a kick on the way out that made him stumble and run headlong into the doorframe.

He paused for a moment, dazed, before stumbling out and closing the door quickly but quietly. "Brat." I hissed, up righting the ink holder and sighing at the sight of my ruined papers.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I held my sore side with one hand and nursed my throbbing head with my other as I trudged sluggishly up the stairs. Falin was laying on my bed, his face drawn and pale. Ever since he'd come to stay with us, my teacher had been doing to him what he had always done to me, only ignoring me nearly completely throughout the week, with exception of a few kisses here and there.

Falin had been dragged into Orl's room several times every day for the past week, kicking and screaming, weaker and weaker with every time. I shivered and slid into the bed with my hurting friend. "I'm sorry, Falin. He still doesn't believe me." I whispered, pulling the clammy, warm boy to me and hugging him. He was shivering, but was sweating. He had a fever, and yet, father didn't notice. Unfortunately, mother was away for at least another week, so she wouldn't be there to notice either.

I pulled him to me and he wrapped his arms around me, barely registering the fact that I was there, but seeming to need the comfort. I pressed my cool lips against his warm forehead for a moment, recoiling slightly at how hot he was. Panic pulsed through me briefly as a shiver went through his small body. I needed to get him help!

A sudden idea popped into my head. Surely father would change his mind if I showed him Falin's condition? But how would I get father to come up to my room…? I sighed. I'd have to take Falin down to him. That might be difficult, considering the tiny boy was nowhere near fit enough to be moving about.

"Come on buddy, let's put a stop to this."

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I was dimly aware of Draco as he slid his arms around me tighter. I shivered at his touch, my mind flashing with memories of hands gripping at me, grabbing me and trying to rip my clothes off… I tensed up, but my clothes remained on my body.

Draco made me stand up, but allowed me to lean on him heavily. "Come on." He told me quietly, his arms still firmly around me. I moaned, squeezing my eyes shut and grinding my teeth together to ward off the pain. My insides hurt, like a burning, dull ache. "Come on, just got to take you to father." Draco murmured in my ear.

I latched onto him, letting him do most of the work, only helping him by clumsily putting one foot in front of the other while he held most of my weight. As soon as we were out of the room, we stumbled over to the banister and peered down. My eyes widened at the sight. Draco's father, my father, and Orl Schond were sitting in the living room, having a casual conversation, even laughing!

I felt like I was going to be sick at the sight of Orl Schond. I pushed out of Draco's embrace, stumbling a few feet before collapsing. Draco hurried to my side and yanked me to my feet, literally dragging me back into his room and closing the door, then helped me get to the bathroom at my slurred request. I fell to my knees in front of the toilet and retched into it, my head reeling.

Draco held my hair out of the way and murmured to me, gently rubbing my back. I felt hot tears coming on and I retched again. I opened my eyes and saw stars in front of them, so I just closed them again and felt my stomach do a triple summersault. I moaned, retching again.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I gagged at the sight of Falin, but refused to allow myself to get sick as well. I couldn't believe it! Snape was making friends with Orl! Now he wouldn't even believe us! The thought made me want to wail in frustration, but instead, I concentrated in murmuring comforting words to Falin as he heaved his guts out.

I stared in concern at the mess int he toilet bowl. There was a good amount of blood in the mixture. I rubbed Falin's back carefully, hoping he was alright.

After a while, he stopped and instead, just lay there on the bathroom floor, panting and shivering, his head in my lap. "How you feeling?" I asked him quietly, playing with his baby soft midnight hair. His response was a weak sound that was barely audible. I sighed. "I know that feeling." I murmured, shifting and continuing to rub at his head carefully, putting a pale hand to his even paler forehead, relieved that his fever had reduced some.

I stiffened as I heard the door open. I froze as I heard an all-too familiar clunk clunk clunk of boots on the hard floor. Orl Schond. My heart leapt in fright and I pulled up my knees, hugging Falin's limp form ever closer. Orl chuckled wickedly. "There you are." His deep voice drawled. I let out a frightened cry, holding Falin all the closer, who was shivering and cowering in fright, latching himself onto me.

"Stay away!" I screamed, kicking at the man as he bent down to grab at us. He let out and angry growl, ripping Falin from my grasp. Falin let out a whimper as the man attached his lips to Falin's after pushing him hard against the doorframe, his hands tearing at the tiny boy's clothes. Falin bit the man's lip and Orl growled, throwing the frightened boy out of the bathroom. Falin hit the floor with a muffled thud and stopped moving.

"Your turn." Orl told me with a toothy grin that made my insides hurt, his bottom lip bleeding. "You didn't really think I'd forgotten about you, now did you?" He smoothed a hand over my chest, then leaned forward and began kissing me.

I squirmed wildly, heart pounding, ears ringing. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't I just have a normal life?!

**POV: Severus Snape**

"Yes, he's a fine teacher, he is. Simply excellent, has a clean record and an amazing teaching history." Lucius was telling me, praising the man I had just met. I nodded slowly, agreeing. The man had seemed most pleasant. Lucius moved forward some, a look of anxiousness taking place. "So? Have you found out who it was?" He begged and I shook my head solemnly.

"Draco either lied because he was too scared to tell the truth, or because he was blackmailed, Lucius. It wasn't any of the students." I told him quietly.

Lucius sighed wearily and slumped down in the settee in which he sat. I stared at him solemnly, wishing very much to ask him how Falin was doing, but as far as he knew, I had only ever seen the boy at Hogwarts and had no relation to him whatsoever. I had silently been hoping that the boys would come down at least for a few minutes so I could at least _see_ him, but, according to Orl, both boys were upstairs working on homework together. He had gone up after excusing himself, saying he needed to check on their progress.

A few seconds later, I got my wish. Only, Falin was stumbling down the stairs in an almost dazed sort of way, his eyes unfocussed. I jumped up, forgetting Lucius was there and ran to the boy. "Falin! Are you alright? What's wrong?" I cried, grabbing the boy and noticing right away his disheveled appearance. His shirt was torn and a few buttons were undone, his hair was messy and he had blood all over his lips and trickling down his chin that didn't look like his own. He was trembling and looked rather ill. He refused to look at me and leaned away from my embrace, his eyes glassy.

Lucius came over. "What? What happened?" he demanded, eyeing the boy in horror. I put a hand to his forehead, which was shockingly warm.

Falin coughed, gagging and looking ready to be sick. "Dr-Draco…" He choked out, spitting some blood out of his mouth. I glanced at Lucius and in a flash, he was up the stairs, me right behind him after scooping up the tiny boy. Lucius' cry of horror made me go all the faster.

I sat Falin down on the floor gently when we reached the room. I came up behind Lucius who was in the doorway of the bathroom. I tried to see around him. He was throwing fists and punches wildly at an unseen person. I grabbed him and pulled him back, for fear it was Draco he was beating upon. What I saw when he was out of the way was the most horrific thing I had ever seen.

Orl Schond was on top of Draco, his pants undone, Draco's clothes were torn and laying in heaps on the floor. The boy was on his stomach, bawling and trembling. I grabbed hold of Orl by the front of his shirt and flung him out of the bathroom into Lucius' waiting hands.

"What the hell are you doing to my son?!" Lucius roared, shaking the man back and forth, his eyes blazing.

"I-I…" The man stuttered, eyes wide. Lucius thrust the man to the floor. Orl desperately tried to do up his pants, but Lucius was on him, beating his face in. He stopped and turned to me as I was trying to console the wailing Draco after wrapping the bare child in a towel.

"Sev-Severus." Lucius was shaking with rage. "Get them out of here, Severus. The boys, t-take them to your place. I have to…" He glanced down at the man on the floor, panting and shaking, his eyes wide. I nodded, scooping up Draco after making sure he was completely covered by the towel, then carried the boy out of the bathroom.

"No, no!" Draco shrieked, trying to pull away from me.

"It's okay, Draco, it's okay. I won't hurt you." I murmured to him, hurrying over to my son who was also on the floor, crying as well. I scooped him up and he latched onto me. I was gone in a flash, apparating straight into my living room, startling Annenia who had been sitting there.

She jumped up, eyes wide, little Serenia in her arms. "Severus! What-" Her eyes caught sight of the two wailing boys in my arms, one of which all he wore was a towel and the other's clothes were torn. I hurried up the stairs, Mirianda, Annenia and Lumin at my heels.

"Severus! What happened?" Annenia demanded, clutching Serenia tightly as I hurried the boys into Falin's room. I set Falin down gently on the bed and his sisters were on him in an instant, hugging him and trying to calm him down. He did slowly calm down. Draco, however, was a different matter entirely. He was wailing and clinging to me, his body shaking and convulsing.

"I-I-I w-want my daddy!" he wailed like a five year old, his little fingers curling around my hair and pulling it painfully. Annenia, finally silent, took Lumin and Serenia downstairs, sensing that this was a matter not for young ears. Mirianda held her trembling brother as bloody tears rolled down his cheeks. He stared at me as I held Draco, his eyes wide and pleading. I wanted to hold my son, but Draco needed me at the moment.

"D-daddy! Daddy!" Draco wailed. I was ashamed to admit that I felt more than a little betrayed that it was not to me that Draco immediately thought of when distressed, as I had been there for him for so many years, more of a constant rock than anything, but a father figure if one were to stretch our relationship. But, as they say, blood is thicker than water and, as tragic as it may seem, no matter how much Lucius belittled and mistreated his son, he would always come first and foremost in Draco's eyes.

After a while, Draco calmed down and fell fast asleep after Annenia dressed him in some of Falin's clothes. Falin, however not at all calm, told me everything that had happened through the week, stuttering uncontrollably, his eyes constantly turning in and trailing in different directions, the way they always did when he was on the verge of an attack of the Madness. I felt he was leaving a few things out, but… I didn't interrupt him, as I was afraid of confusing or scaring him into silence. I had been horrified when he told me that Orl Schond had been sexually abusing Draco for six years. Six bloody years!

I barely slept at all that night. For one thing, there was little point leaving Falin and Draco alone in Falin's room as they would only panic when they woke again and for another, I was absolutely dreading having to explain to Lucius exactly what Falin had revealed to me. How the hell do you go about telling a parent that their child had been raped daily for the past six years? And right under their nose too?

For at least the tenth time that night, I helped Falin get quickly to the bathroom where he emptied the contents of his stomach. After seeing blood in it that time, I knew there was something wrong. I apparated him straight away to St. Athynan's, where they told me to go back home as they needed to keep Falin for a few nights for observation. While very worried about him, I knew there was nothing I could do and I needed to stay with Draco.

"Father? A man called Lucius Malfoy is here to see you." Mirianda poked her head in the door around nine in the morning, speaking as quietly as possible.

"Thank you, Mirianda." I told her tiredly, standing. I glanced back at Draco's sleeping form uncertainly as he lay on Falin's bed. If he were to wake while I was gone…

"I'll stay with him." Mirianda offered, taking my place at the side of the bed and looking down at Draco with a motherly sort of smile on her face. I smiled, knowing she'd make a wonderful mother one day.

Content that the boy would be alright with my very qualified daughter, I left the room, heading down the stairs to see a distressed looking Lucius sitting in the living room, his head in his hands, Annenia standing uncertainly in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. Lucius raised his head slowly as he became aware of my presence. He eyed me darkly- half angry, half exhausted- then sat back in his chair. "How is he?" he asked quietly, after a long pause.

I considered him for a moment, trying to decide whether or not to answer truthfully, but the pained expression on the elder Malfoy's face told me that lies, or even half-truths, would only worsen things. "Not good," I told him, almost apologetically. "Not good at all. He just cries and cries and calls for you…he's sleeping now, but it is not a peaceful sleep. He won't be comforted by anyone except you."

I watched Lucius closely, wondering what his reaction would be to that piece of information. But, apart from a slight twitch of one eyebrow, he made no indication that he'd even heard what I had said. "How are you?" I asked as gently as I could without being patronizing.

Lucius' grey eyes flicked sharply to me, then lowered them and shrugged. "Fine. Don't look at me like that! I am fine!"

"You obviously aren't," I snapped. "And you need to be. Are you listening to me, Lucius? You _need_ to be!" Lucius stared at me, obviously taken aback by the tone of my voice. But now was not the time to tip-toe around or be unnecessarily polite. Lucius had to pull himself together and if he couldn't manage to do it himself, then I'd have to make him.

"You have a little boy upstairs," I continued firmly, pointing to emphasize my words, "who has had terrible things happen to him, but all that is going through his already confused mind is that his father doesn't want him anymore."

Making a jerky movement with his neck, Lucius turned his head away from me and said through gritted teeth. "I did what I had to do. If I had kept him there…you would have still blamed me!" Grey eyes flashed up, suddenly furious, "I just can't do anything right, can I? Even when I'm trying, you're still there, _judging_ me and _criticizing_ me! Well who made you such an authority?" He was shouting now, hands clenched into fists by his side. "I suppose you think it's _my_ fault that Orl Schond did what he did, don't you? _Don't you?_"

I stared at the livid, distressed man before me, then dropped my gaze. Truth be told, I _did_ hold him responsible for Draco's vulnerability. But for all his faults, I knew that Lucius would never stand for someone hurting Draco. It had always been one rule for him and another for everyone else…and this was no exception. I was silent for too long, however, which the older man instantly translated as disapproval.

"You have _absolutely _no idea," he yelled. "how much I try! You think I don't care! You think I'd just sit back and allow somebody to… do _that_ to my boy!" His voice began to crack and he turned sharply away from me, struggling to regain control of himself. "And you know what the worst thing is?" There was no anger anymore, just pain."The worst thing is you're right! You're _absolutely_ right! It _is_ my fault!"

"Lucius, I didn't mean-" But he was completely oblivious of my presence.

"I _should've_ noticed…it should've been so _obvious_ what was going on… how could I have let this go one for so long?! If only I had paid him more attention! I should've listened to him when he tried to talk to me!" Lucius sat down heavily on the couch on which he had previously been seated and hid his face in his hands. "What have I done?" he moaned into his palms. "What the hell have I done to him?"

I lowered myself into the chair opposite and spoke carefully, "It is _not_ your fault. You did _not_ allow that to happen to Draco, therefore you are not to blame. However," Lucius eyed me warily. "You have _got_ to get past this and sort yourself out because if this how _you're_ feeling, then just imagine how terribly this is effecting Draco! He needs you to be in control, or at least pretend to be." My tone was taking on an almost pleading edge to it. Never had I imagined that I would be telling a Malfoy to take control.

"Do you know mister Cerenbus? Falin Cerenbus' father? We'll be needing to inform the boy's parents of this, matter." Lucius quickly changed the subject and I felt the blood drain from my face. In all the upheaval of the night before, I hadn't asked Falin if anything had actually… happened, to him. I had had the odd feeling that Falin had left something out when he'd been telling me… but was that it? Oh god I hoped not…

"I talked to the boy, he never mentioned that Schond hurt him in any way." I murmured, staring at the floor, refusing to believe that the same thing had happened to my boy as to Draco. But the sheer likelihood of it was overwhelmingly… possible. I had simply thought that he'd seen Draco be abused and raped by Orl and it had caused him great trauma and that was why he was throwing up… but… I could have been wrong.

"Denial, Severus. You saw the condition of the boy as well as I did. I also noticed his behavior throughout the week was slowly getting worse." He murmured.

"You mean-"

He cut me off. "Yes, I think young mister Cerenbus was… hurt, more than once, all throughout the week." This thought made anger boil through me at an alarming rate.

I waved my hand in dismissal. "I'll, try to get a hold of his father." I muttered. Trying to drag my mind away from it, I got back on the topic of Draco. "You ought to have heard him last night, Draco, I mean." I continued with a wry smile, banishing all thoughts of my son. "It was not me he wanted, or Falin, or Narcissa, it was _you_. Merlin knows why, you've given him little enough reason, but you are the only person he wants right now."

"No." He told me quietly. I frowned, not understanding.

"No what?" I asked him to clarify.

"I can't see Draco."

I furrowed my brow. "I don't understand, why?" I asked.

"I don't want to see him, Severus. I'm not ready. He has to stay here. I can't handle him right now." He told me quietly.

Anger flared up in me, all patience and pity evaporating. "Have you not been listening to a word I have said? _Your son needsyou_! I am not going to let you just thrust him aside anymore, _especially_ now! You're his father for god's sake, you need to face up to your responsibilities and stop expecting me to be there to pick up the pieces when _you_ mess up!"

I felt like screaming with frustration; what would it take to make this thick, narcissistic imbecile realize that he had a small boy who was staggering on the edge of ruin and if he didn't accept responsibility, that boy was going to fall and never recover? "For once, this is not about you, so stop being so _bloody_ selfish and take Draco back home to where he needs to be!"

"I can't do it," Lucius whined. "You _know_ I can't do it. Severus! You know I have a short temper and at the moment…after last night…what if I just end up losing it and I hurt him seriously? You know how to look after him properly, he trusts you."

I had to admit I was impressed. To actually be able to recognize his faults was a massive change for Lucius and, truthfully, it was that Draco be kept away from the manor- away from the place where _it_ happened and away from his father's temper. But equally, Draco had to have the reassurance that he was still wanted and being forced to stay away from his home and his parents was not going to help that in the slightest.

Lucius rose suddenly, with the declaration of, "I'd better be going. Narcissa will be wondering where I am."

A lie if ever I heard one.

There was no point trying to stop him, as a Malfoy's mind could not be changed. Lucius thanked Annenia for her hospitality as he passed her in the kitchen, stopping at the door and opening it. Lucius was about to take the first step out when,

"Father!"

We all turned to see Draco at the top of the staircase- one small hand clutching at the banister. Mirianda right behind him. Then suddenly he had sped down the stairs and had attached himself to Lucius' middle. "I _knew_ you'd come back!" he cried, tears of relief in his eyes.

"Let go, Draco," said the older Malfoy with strained patience, trying to pry his son off him. "I said, let go!"

Draco backed off; delirious relief replaced suddenly with a frown. "But…but you've come to take me home, haven't you?"

A pained expression shadowed across Lucius' eyes. "I think it best," he said, "if you were to stay here for a while."

Draco's eyes widened with horror and he flung himself at his father with a cry, "No! Take me with you! You _have_ to take me with you! Please Father don't leave me!" He begged.

"You are _staying_ here!" Lucius told him, his voice strained.

"No!" Draco cried.

Annenia stepped forward and tried to coax the distraught child away, but he only wanted Lucius. "Take me home!" He wailed.

"_Do not disobey me_!" Lucius cried, his hand lashed out and collided sharply with Draco's cheek, knocking him to the ground before I could even lift a finger to stop it. Illumine and Mirianda, who were standing nearby, drew their wands in a flash, but Lucius had already backed away from the door, his eyes fixed upon me. "See?" He cried, gesturing wildly at his son. "This is _your _fault." He hissed, his eyes lingering over the boy as he lay on the floor, sobbing. "I'll be in touch," Lucius said curtly before turning on his heel and apparating away in a billow of black robes.

**POV: Annenia Nysisian Snape**

"Oh sweetie, shh, it's okay." I told the little blonde child as he clung to me and wailed. I had sent Severus, who had been too angry at mister Malfoy to do anything but pace the kitchen floor, outside so as to not distress the child further. Mirianda, who had sent Illumine to watch over Serenia in Lumin's room, kneeled beside me, staring at Draco with an odd expression on her face, closely observing my every movement, watching my every comforting touch.

"You're so good at this." She murmured softly, timidly raising a hand to rub at the younger boy's back the same way she'd seen me do it.

I smiled at her. "A mother's instincts." I told her. Her smile faltered and turned into a deep frown, as though she were in deep thought. I stared at her in confusion for a moment, still gently rubbing at Draco's back. "Miria? You've been distant for several weeks now, when are you going to tell someone what's wrong?" I asked gently and she flinched, then sighed, leaning back some.

"I've been too scared of your reactions. Especially father's." She glanced out the open door at the distant figure of her father as he paced the front yard, inspecting every plant in the garden in an attempt to calm himself.

I tipped my head to the side, gently holding Draco as he continued to sniffle and tremble. "What is it honey? You know you can talk to me and-" I glanced out at Severus as well. "Depending on the problem, I'm sure we can keep it between us."

An appreciative smile found its way to her face, but it was a sad kind of smile. "No, I can't hide it forever, so it's best if I tell you both. Soon." She murmured. "When the time is right."

I nodded, my eyes going back to Draco. "He's such a pretty little child." I murmured, hugging the delirious boy as he clung to me, burying his face in my shirt, tiny fist wrapped around a handful of my hair. Mirianda agreed quietly, even though Draco was only two years younger than her, he was small enough to be more.

"I'm going to go check on Lumin and Serenia." She murmured suddenly, standing. I watched her as she slowly ascended the stairs, taking them one at a time.

I sighed and looked back down at Draco, who was calming down slightly. "Are you hungry sweetie?" I asked the distraught twelve-year old. Or was he thirteen yet? He was so small…

He looked up at me, his eyes red. He nodded slowly. I stood up, helping him to his feet and had him sit down at the table. After making sure he was okay, I went to the fridge and got out something for him that would be gentle on his stomach. I had known Falin had been throwing up the night before, so much so that Severus took him to St. Athynan's in the middle of the night, but I wasn't sure about Draco. He might have been upset enough to become ill if I gave him something too hard to eat.

I handed him some plain yogurt and a spoon. He stared at it for a moment, then looked up at me. "What's this?" He asked.

"Yogurt…" I said as patiently as possible. What kind of a child had never had yogurt before?

He sighed and started eating it. "It's bland." He complained quietly as he ate.

"I know, but I don't want to give you anything with more flavor in case it upsets your stomach." I told him, sitting across from him at the small kitchen table. He nodded, eating another spoonful. Severus came back in at that moment and plopped down next to Draco. He stared at the boy for a moment, then sighed.

"Sorry about your father, Draco." He murmured.

Draco sighed. "It's fine. Father just needs his space. I shouldn't have made him angry." He murmured, staring at the table.

I sighed and played with my mug, running my finger through the handle and pushing it around once or twice, listening to the thick silence as Draco tried to finish his yogurt and Severus watched him, making the poor boy uncomfortable.

"Why didn't you tell anyone about this sooner, Draco?" He finally asked. "Why let it go on for six years without telling anyone?" I saw Draco stiffen.

"I… I-I tried to tell father… the first time it happened… but he wouldn't believe me." He replied quietly. Severus stared at the table, his eyes flicking back and forth, as if inspecting the grain of the wood, but I knew him well enough to know he was looking past what his eyes saw. He was delving deep into his own mind, his gears turning, his mind processing every bit of information he had gotten recently.

"And… Falin?" Severus' words came out a desperate whisper, as if he were terrified by the answer.

Draco stared at the cup in front of him for a long moment before he replied. "Yes." He whispered. "He- he was… hurt too. At least twice, every day-" I saw Severus cringe at this. "He wouldn't let me tell father because he felt he owed me… for what happened last year when he lost his mind. He didn't want to leave me there by myself." He whispered.

"Oh god." I let my head hit the table top with a dull thunk, ignoring the brief bolt of pain that shot through my forehead that I knew would lead to a migraine later. _Damn you, Falin, surely you have more sense than that?! _I thought, knowing the same thing was going through Severus' head.

Severus facepalmed, shaking his head, probably trying to clear it, unsuccessfully, obviously. Draco was staring at his yogurt cup, thoroughly shamefaced. I raised my head slowly, sighing and standing. "Severus, can you apparate me to St. Athynan's? I want to see what they have found out about Falin." I decided, standing.

Mirianda chose that moment to walk downstairs. "Annenia, father, I need to tell you something." She declared.

Severus looked up. "Miria, now's really not the time-" He began. She interrupted him.

"Father, I'm pregnant."

**AN: uh-ohhhh! What's the deal with this new blow, huh? And how will Severus take it? Hehe, find out next!** **Review!**


	45. Summer break: Chapter 4

**Chapter four:**

**Reactions**

**POV: Severus Snape**

"You're _what?" _I boomed, jumping from my seat and making everyone in the room flinch, especially Mirianda. I prayed, and if ever there was a being of most high that granted serenity, oh how I prayed for it…

"I-I'm pregnant." Mirianda repeated, her voice a soft whisper as she stared at the floor.

I stared at her, eyes wide. "For the love of- oh god, I don't need this right now!" I cried, running my hands through my hair. "Mirianda! You- but… you're only fifteen! Despite the fact that you live the life of an adult does not give you the right to have... to-" I glanced at Draco, who looked like he wanted very much to be swallowed up by the floor.

I decided that finishing my sentence in front of Draco would be inappropriate, so instead, I slumped wearily back into my seat, burying my face in my hands. "Mirianda, I-I trusted you! You were the good one, the mature one… I needed you to be mature! To be responsible!" I cried, pulling my hands away and staring at the distraught looking girl before me.

"I-I'm sorry, father." She whispered, ready to burst into tears. I rubbed furiously at my stinging eyes. Lack of sleep, doubled with stress, anger, and now this sudden blow of news was really taking its toll. I leaned forward, burying my face in my hands again.

"How far along?" I asked wearily.

"Three and a half months." She whispered, her voice thick and raspy. I glanced up at her, knowing she should be showing signs around then, but her clothes were baggy and I couldn't tell.

"Who?" I demanded, looking back down.

"Daddy, I don't want you to hurt him-"

I cut her off. "WHO?" I demanded forcefully, this time dragging my hands from my face and glaring at her full intensity, slamming my fist down on the table and making Draco's cup rattle.

She bit her lip, looking back down, hugging herself carefully. "K-Koteis Maburdan." She stuttered. "He's one of the people I work with." She whispered.

"And how old is this… Koteis Maburdan?" I asked icily, dreading that he was a middle-aged pig with a wife and children, who had been looking for a quick bit of fun with an easy target.

"Nineteen." She replied. Well at least he wasn't a hell of a lot older than her, but what much of a difference did it make? I was going to kill him either way…

"Excuse me." I mumbled darkly, rising from the table.

"Severus-" Annenia moved forward.

"No! Daddy! Please! Don't hurt him!" Mirianda begged.

"I won't hurt him, Mirianda, I'll make it quick and painless, I promise." I told her in a gruff tone, trying to make a break for the door, but Annenia and Mirianda kept getting in my way.

Mirianda shrieked. "NO! Don't kill him, please!" She wailed, tears streaming down her face as she clung to my arm.

"Severus, Severus! Calm down!" Annenia pleaded.

"Calm down? _Calm down?!"_ I thundered. "You want me to calm down? I just found out that my son has been bloody raped every day for the past week, and now that my daughter is having a child, and you want me to bloody calm down?! I have e_very _right to be angry!"

"Yes! Severus, you do," She agreed hastily. "but please, losing your temper is only going to make things worse!" She reasoned, guiding me back over to the table and sitting me down.

"Not so fast." I snapped when I caught sight of Mirianda trying to sneak away. "Come here." I told her. She turned slowly and did as she was told, coming to stand in front of me, staring at the floor, tense and afraid. I sighed, taking in the full image of my child. My daughter. My sweet, innocent child… how could I let this happen? I squeezed my eyes shut, then sighed again, making her come closer. I felt her tense up even more when I put my hands around her and began feeling of her stomach through her suspiciously baggy clothes. Indeed, she was… oh god. I sighed wearily, rubbing my temples. "I can't take much more of this." I muttered dryly.

"Mirianda, you're too young to be a mother." I told her seriously.

"I know…" She whispered, then glanced up at me worriedly. "You won't make me get rid of them, will you?" She hurriedly put her hands to the very small bump on her stomach as if to protect the growing life within her.

I sighed again. "You're too far along to get rid of it, it would be no less than murder to do so now." I replied tiredly. I couldn't help but notice the look of relief on her face. "But," I added and her face went pale again. "That's not to say I won't make you put it up for adoption after it's born." I told her seriously.

"No! You- you wouldn't!" She cried, desperately clutching at her stomach again.

"Severus-" Annenia tried to cut in but I waved her away.

"Annenia, why don't you take Draco up and check on Lumin and Serenia." I told her.

"But-"

I cut her off again. "That _wasn't _a suggestion, Annenia." I shot her a look and she huffed, taking Draco's hand and pulling him behind her. He didn't resist at all, rather seemed eager to get away from the tension in the room.

I turned back to my daughter. "I'm not saying for sure that I'll make you give it up, Mirianda, but when the time comes, you'll have to prove that you're ready to be a mother. Because I will _not _be landed with having to care for this child when you come short of your ability to be a proper mother." I told her. She nodded somberly, staring at the floor, rubbing her stomach. "I just can't believe you would be this careless!" I told her and she nodded, her face twisted in grief. "Oh child." I murmured, pulling her to me. "I just want what's best for you." I whispered, hugging her. She hugged me back and cried into my shoulder, her long, stick-straight, jet black hair falling into my face.

"I know." She whispered, her voice full of tears. "I'm sorry father." She pulled back, rubbing her eyes. "Are you mad?" She asked, her voice quiet and teary.

I stared at her for a moment, brushing a long, straight lock of black hair back from her face. I sighed again and stood, looking down at her. "No." I told her quietly, then turned to walk away, then stopped, glancing back at her. "Just disappointed."

**POV: Annenia Nysisian Snape**

"It's my fault!" Severus fretted.

"Sev', it's not your fault-" But he completely ignored me.

"I expected too much of her, I shouldn't have let her spend her life as an adult, it made her grow up thinking she could do adult things…" I saw him physically shudder at that thought, and I was tempted to as well. "Why can't I be a better father? I'm supposed to protect my children, and here, one of them it on the brink of self-destruction, has a mental illness and has been bloody raped, and now this! Mirianda! What in the bloody, fiery pits of_ hell _am I going to do?!" He clenched his fists and slammed himself down on the porch steps, leaning forward, squeezing his eyes shut.

I sighed and more gently lowered myself onto the steps beside him. Mirianda had come up to relieve me after Severus had been done talking to her, and I had come down to find him sitting on the back porch, his knees up and spread, his head down between them, pulling at his hair.

"Sev'." I put a hand on his shoulder and the only indication I got that he'd heard me was a low grunt. "The question isn't what you're going to do, it is 'what are _we _going to do'. Even after all these years, you still won't accept the fact that we're a team, we're in this together!" He grunted again in reply.

"Severus, look at me!" I clutched at his arm and yanked it so his elbow slipped of his knee, making him lose the grip he'd had on his head. He looked up at me, scowling. I sighed, knowing his anger wasn't directed towards me, more of towards himself. I just happened to be the unlucky one, or rather, the foolish one, to try to comfort him.

"I know this is hard, Severus. But it's life, and there's nothing that can be done now. It's already happened. The only thing that can be done now, is us being there for your daughter as she goes through this." I told him.

"I know, I know, but… I should have known better! It's my fault she was in the situation in the first place." His voice shook as he spoke.

I sighed, rubbing his arm comfortingly. "Don't blame yourself, Sev'. It's hard to say no to temptation. The temptation was there, and there was no way for you to know that." I tried.

"No, I know… but I should have protected her, I should have realized the danger of allowing her to play the role of an adult." He fretted, shaking his head.

I sighed, pushing a strand of his jet black hair from his face and made him look at me. "I love you." I murmured, pressing my lips lovingly against his. He kissed me back, putting an arm around me. I sat there, waiting for him to tell me he loved me back. But he didn't, as usual. I sighed, knowing he was trying, but he still couldn't say it.

"Well, I'm going to go in and make dinner." I murmured, standing and going inside, trying not to dwell on the fact that Severus and I had been married for six years, and yet… he not once had ever told me he loved me.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"I don't need counseling." I grumbled, physically cringing at the mere thought.

"I think you do." An adamant Snape argued, staring at me seriously. I sighed, slumping down into the plush softness of Falin's bed as I stared at the man clad in black seated before me on a chair that permanently resided in Falin's room beside the bed, presumably for late nights of Snape sitting up comforting his son after particularly bad nightmares.

"You've been seriously hurt, practically every day for the past six years… the emotional scars are going to be worse, or at least equal to the physical ones… you need to get help. Professional help."

I shook my head stubbornly at his words. "I don't think that father would-"

Snape cut me off. "With no holds barred, I don't give a damn about what that man thinks. Forgive me for my crude assessment of your father, Draco, but he's a self-centered ba- ahem, imbecile." He grumbled, only just saving himself from cursing most foul.

I gave him a horrified look. "Don't look at me like that, Draco. You know best what he's like… if he could turn a blind eye to what's been happening under his own roof for so long, lord knows what else can conveniently go unnoticed under his watch. Tell me, has your wellbeing been on his mind at all in the last six years? Or ever at all?" He gave me a serious look.

I stared at him with wide eyes for a moment before flicking them to my lap, my head hanging slightly. Snape let out a gruff sound from the back of his throat that sounded like half-amusement half-disgust. "That's what I thought." He grumbled. "Now, if I'm not mistaken, a bit of physical abuse has been taking place as well?"

I flinched at his words, glancing up at him. "It was Schond." I said quickly, possibly too quickly, as he narrowed his eyes.

"Are you sure? Draco, I seem to remember you lying to me before about matters of importance such as this." He raised his eyebrows and I felt my face burn, knowing it was probably a bright shade of pink.

"I'm sure." I mumbled hoarsely. Snape continued staring at me skeptically, but said no more about it.

"Well…" He began at a more awkward note. "Since your father has refused to take responsibility for the matter…" He sighed, visibly sinking in the seat. "I am left in the uncomfortable position of asking you exactly what Schond has done to you in his many years he's spent as your private teacher." He mumbled. I flinched again, tensing up. I stared at my hands uncomfortably. This was the kind of thing I would have trouble even admitting to father. Had he ever listened to me when I tried to tell him, I would have told him precisely everything Schond had ever done, but he'd always pushed me away, or beaten me for making up 'lies' about 'that man'

"He kissed me a lot." I whispered, absent-mindedly raising a trembling hand to touch my dry lips.

"Did he ever… take off your clothes?" Snape asked uncomfortably, obviously finding himself in a position he'd never thought he'd have to be in.

I tensed up further. "Yes." I whispered hoarsely. "And he… he…" I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling very vulnerable, casting a wary glance at Snape, as if _he _would suddenly jump up and try to do to me what Schond had done. I mentally scoffed at that. I was being stupid, I had never been like this about other men before… why so suddenly was I viewing everyone with trepidation and skepticism, as if I couldn't trust them. I trusted Snape, perhaps more than any other man I had ever known. And yet, I was suddenly afraid he would do the unthinkable, though I _knew _beyond a shadow of a doubt he would never in his wildest dreams do anything like that to me. Or to anyone, for that matter.

"He… you know." I struggled with the words.

"He what, Draco?" Snape seemed intent on dragging it out of me, however awkward a topic it was.

"He… he just… put his- in my… please don't make me say it out loud!?" I begged, staring at my lap.

"I see." He murmured, staring at his hands. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, he looked back up at me. "Draco… please, did… did Schond… do that to Falin? What… what he did to you….?" He looked at me so desperately that I couldn't bring myself to lie to him, only for him to probably find out the truth later.

"Yes." I whispered, hating the look of despair that crossed the man's face.

"How-" Snape had to clear his throat, as his voice had been high-pitched and hoarse. "How often?" He whispered.

"Every day-"

He flinched, clenching his fists.

"Twice a day…"

He flinched again, tightening his fists.

"Sometimes three…"

He squeezed his eyes shut, his fists balled so tightly his knuckles were white.

"Sometimes more-"

"OKAY!" He interrupted me, physically shaking. "Okay." He said more wearily, rubbing at his temples. "Thank you." He murmured, abruptly standing and exiting the room.

**POV: Severus Snape**

I walked briskly through the kitchen after another fifteen minutes of silent contemplation in my office. "Annenia, I'm going to Saint Athynan's to see about Falin!" I told her as I went by before stepping out the door and glancing around. As usual, no one in sight. I apparated quickly away and found myself in the lobby of St. Athynan's, a hospital that I was too familiar with for my liking.

"Tynan Cerenbus, here to see Falin Cerenbus." I told the woman, using the same alias I had been using for the past seven years.

She smiled up at me sadly. "Hello, Tynan, how are you?" She asked as she signed me in, documenting the fact that I was there and what time. It was sad that we knew each other so well as to be on a first-name basis with one another. It was no offence against her personally, but being that I saw her once a week sometimes because of Falin, I really wished I'd never have to see her again.

"Yes yes, hello Floria…. Falin? May I see him now?" I asked impatiently and she smiled again.

"Right this way." She opened a door for me and I went in, allowing her to lead me through a familiar hallway, past many, many examination rooms, all of which had occupied Falin at one time or another.

"Here we are." She whispered, stopping at a door and opening it. I pushed past her to see my child, my only son laying on the bed, drawn and pale, hooked up to many things, some of which were muggle medical instruments, as St. Athynan believed that some muggle medical things were better than magical. Whether or not I believed this, I cannot say, but I had learned to get used to the idea.

"Is he awake?" I whispered, not daring to speak loudly, for fear of waking him from a peaceful dream, as he had far too few of those.

She sighed. "No, we have him on a sleeping draught, as he seemed to be having nightmares, and kept getting out of bed… does he sleep walk?" She asked, glancing at me. I nodded and she continued. "He kept doing it, so we thought it best to giving a sleeping draught." She murmured, coming up to stand at one side of the bed.

She sighed, looking up at me as I followed suit, standing beside her and staring down at my son. "Did you find what was wrong?" I asked, noting that she was staring at me from the corner of her eye. She let out another sigh, pulling down the clipboard she'd previously had hugged to her chest.

"Yes, and… I'm afraid you're not going to like it." She murmured, staring at the papers. I waited patiently for her to speak again. "It seems your son has been sexually assaulted. He's been raped."

**AN: So, it's confirmed, Sev' knows! How's he gonna handle it? More importantly, how's Falin gonna handle it? Find out next!**


	46. Summer break: Chapter 5

**Chapter five:**

**A Child Only Once; Fate's Cruel Clutches**

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

**…a week and three days later…**

I had been wandering around in a daze for almost a week before my fragile mind broke out of its scattered state and I fully became aware of my surroundings after being let out of St. Athynan's after behind held there for three days.

If it weren't for the brief grimaces whenever I moved, one would never know I was in pain. I had learned to hide it so well, and anyone who wasn't watching too closely, would never notice. Fortunately for me, more mind was being paid to Draco and Mirianda. It took me a while, however, to fully grasp the new situation that had arisen.

"But… you're only fifteen." I reminded, giving Mirianda an odd look.

"I know." She sighed, folding some clothes and putting them in a basket.

"But how can you possibly think you can be a good parent so young?" I pressed, taking a shirt and folding it.

Mirianda let out an exasperated sound, tossing a shirt into the basket and causing it to unfold. "Falin, you're only twelve-"

"Thirteen."

"You don't know anything about parentage…" She glared at me, picking up the heavy basket with a little difficulty and heading for the stairs. I hurried up to her and stood in her way. She glared at me as I took the basket off her, giving her a stern look that said 'you know you shouldn't be straining yourself' before carrying it up.

"Maybe I don't." I continued, hearing her following me up the stairs. "But mum was only twenty-eight when she first had you, and look how swell _that _turned out." I pointed out sarcastically, rolling my eyes and going into her room.

Mirianda snorted. "Dad was only eighteen when I was born. What's your point?" She snapped. I sighed, setting the basket down on her bed and we both began putting her clothes away.

"My point is, he was three years older _then_ than you are now, and you're a girl-"

She shot me a cold glare. "What does _that _have to do with anything?" She snapped.

"Everything." I gave her a look that clearly said 'don't you have any common sense?'

She rolled her eyes. "So yeah, fine, it does make a difference. So what? I can handle it." She told me stubbornly, plucking up the basket again. I shot her another glare and pried it from her grasp after seeing the look of strain on her pretty face. I moved around her, heading for father and Annenia's room. I set the basket down on their bed and we got to work hanging up father's cloaks and putting away Annenia's things.

"I have no doubt that you can," I continued. "But like I said, fifteen is too young to be a good parent, and I do believe father made it quite clear you have to take _full _responsibility for it, as he won't be covering up for you." I gave her a serious look.

She sighed, her shoulders slumping. "I know." She murmured, a hand finding its way up to her stomach, where a quite visible bump was starting to form.

I stared at my slightly older sister for a moment, tilting my head to the side. I dragged my gaze back down to the cloak in my hands, running my fingers over the soft material. "So… out of curiosity," I began carefully, keeping my eyes locked on father's cloak and playing with the hem. She glanced up at me, but I refused to look at her. "What are your thoughts on teenage parenting?" I asked, still playing with father's cloak. Mirianda was silent for longer than I was comfortable with, so I did finally drag my gaze up to her. She was staring at me, eyes wide.

"Oh god, you didn't?" She breathed.

"What?" I furrowed my brow. She hurried over to me and took me firmly by the shoulders. My eyes widened at the look on her face as she shook me.

"You got some poor girl pregnant, didn't you?! Please tell me it wasn't Miriad? Oh god, you did, didn't you?!" She cried.

"I most certainly did _not." _I brushed her hands off. "_I'm _not that careless." I knew I hurt her feelings by saying that, but I couldn't take back the words. "I just… can't help but think… I'll never get to have that. A family, a wife, kids..." I sighed, sinking down onto the edge of the bed, staring at the floor, ignoring the shot of pain that went up my spine from sitting. I'd been in serious pain ever since… well, you know what. But I was too scared to tell anyone.

Mirianda sat down next to me, her face softened considerably. She put a hand on mine, which was on my knee, nails digging into my skin. "What makes you think that?" She asked softly, rubbing the back of my hand gently.

I shot her a pained look. "Don't give me that, Miria, you know better than anyone what happens to people with my mental illness, you know this very well could be my last year…" I told her quietly, my eyes searching the floor.

She squeezed my hand, unable to argue as she knew I was right. "Don't dwell on it, little wolf." She murmured, putting her arms around my shoulders and hugging me. I slid my arms around her middle, careful of her small bump and hugged her. I loved it when she called me little wolf. It was another meaning of my name, and Mirianda often used it as my nickname.

"I hope I get to meet your baby." I murmured thoughtfully gently resting a hand on my sister's slowly growing bump.

"I'm sure you will, the baby'll be here in about four months." She assured me, putting her hand over mine.

"Have you told Koteis about it yet?" I asked curiously. I felt her stiffen. "Miria…" I pulled back slightly, giving her an accusing look. "You haven't, have you?" I asked flatly. She stared at our hands which were still on her stomach.

"No." She whispered.

"Mirianda, you need to tell him." I told her seriously.

"I know…" She whined. "I just… I've just been too scared." She fretted, pulling me closer.

I was silent for a moment. "Do you want me to go with you when you tell him?" I offered. "You could just say I was one of your patients…"

Mirianda shook her head slowly, running her fingers gently through my hair, mindful of my sensitive scalp. She loved playing with my baby soft black tresses. It always calmed her. I nuzzled my face into her shoulder, an action I would never admit to any of my friends.

"No. If I want to continue any kind of relationship with this guy, I can't keep lying to him. I'll have to tell him my real age, and… everything." She murmured, absent-mindedly running her hand through my hair, unknowingly making me wish I could purr like a cat. It felt amazing. I nodded, understanding what she meant.

"Do you think father will allow it? 'Any kind of relationship' I mean." I asked. Mirianda froze, then continued playing with my hair.

"Yeah, actually I think he's going to demand that Koteis marry me when I'm old enough." She told me.

I smiled sadly. "I wish you could get married now. You know… so I could go to the wedding." I whispered. I felt her lips press warmly against my cheek. For an instant, memory of Orl Schond relentlessly kissing my face flashed behind my eyes. But I was fine, I insisted to myself. It was just my sister.

I blushed furiously, banishing all thoughts of Schond before playfully shoving her away. She laughed, pulling me into a suspiciously gentle hug that instantly turned into a bone-crusher. I coughed, choking. "OKAY! Ow, OW! You win!" I gasped and she let go, giggling.

"Come on, little wolf. We have laundry to finish."

**POV: Miriad Hensul**

I stood timidly in front of the familiar old door to the quaint old house I had walked by at least a thousand times in my lifetime, but had never dreamed my future boyfriend had lived there until the family reunion a few months or so before. I glance back at my mum as she waited in the car just in front of the driveway. After going to Falin's house for his family reunion, I had realized that I only lived a few blocks away. I convinced my mum to drive me down so I could see if he was home.

After a few moments, the door opened a peek. I smiled brightly as the door opened all the way. "Miriad! So good to see you dear, is there something you need?" Annenia greeted, the nice way of asking 'what the hell are you doing here and what the hell do you want?'

I smiled shyly. "Well, actually, missus Snape, I would've called first, I hate inviting myself like this, but I live just a few houses down, and I don't know your number, I was just coming down to see if Falin wants some company?" I told her, smiling hopefully.

She smiled warmly. "Sure, honey, come on in. Let me just get him." She told me, smiling and waving to my mum. I smiled and turned, giving my mum the thumbs-up to let her know she could leave. She smiled and waved, honking the horn lightly as she turned the car around and drove away.

I walked quietly into the house, re-familiarizing myself with the arrangements and decor. Annenia walked me into the living room where Susan sat with Serenia. They both looked up and smiled. "Just make yourself at home, dear, I'll get Falin." Annenia told me. Susan looked up from the book she had been reading to Serenia.

"Hey!" She called, smiling brightly.

"Hey." I replied, smiling shyly.

"Miri!" Serenia shrieked, jumping up and racing to me. I smiled at the delighted child and scooped her up into my lap.

"So, where's Kelly?" I asked Susan, smiling at Serenia as she took a handful of my hair and started playing with it.

"She's at summer camp." Susan explained. "I would be too, but I got into a fight with one of the other campers and we both got sent home early." She scowled and I offered my sympathy. I heard feet on the stairs at that moment and turned to see Falin standing there, frozen in the middle of the staircase, one small, pale hand gripping the banister, little black eyes wide and shining.

"Miriad!" He cried with the same delight his sister had shown. In four quick leaps, he was down the stairs. He plopped down next to me, pausing for a moment, wincing for some odd reason, then quickly wiping the brief look of pain from his face. He looked at me excitedly, the dull look of pain in his beautiful black eyes quickly being pushed away to be replaced by excitement. "What are you doing here?" He asked excitedly, his voice sounding strained.

"I live here." I told him. "Well, a couple houses away." I corrected quickly. "I just wanted to come and see if you wanted to hang out?" I asked a little too hopefully. His face brightened considerably.

"That'd be great!" He exclaimed.

I smiled, taking his cold hand in mine. "Come on, you wanna go to the park?" I asked.

His smile vanished. "Can't." He mumbled. My smile faltered as I played with the idea of asking why, but decided against it.

"Okay, how 'bout we go out to the garden?" I suggested.

"Can't." he sighed, shoulders dropping, eyes dulling.

I blinked, surprised. "O-okay… so, you pick what we do." I invited.

He smiled again half-heartedly. "We could play a card game." He suggested lamely.

"Okay." I plastered a smile on my face, only agreeing so he wouldn't feel bad.

"You wanna play poker or something?" He suggested, moving over to a cabinet and pulling out a deck of cards.

"You know how to play poker?" I asked dubiously. He nodded. "But… it's a muggle game!" I protested.

"I know. Kelly and Susan taught me how to play when I was six. They actually taught me the day I first met them." He told me, dealing out the cards and handing me a stack of poker chips.

"Okay." I smiled at him wickedly, taking my hand. "But prepare to lose royally."

**POV: Mirianda Perios Snape**

I smiled, watching the way Falin's eyes lit up when he laughed, seeing the searching way he looked at Miriad, the way he blushed whenever their hands touched when they reached for cards at the same time. "Spying on your little brother?" I jumped at the voice, turning to stare at Annenia as she stood behind me, hands on her hips and an amused smile only just barely concealed behind a stern expression.

I blushed and turned to peek around the corner again, hiding in the kitchen so I could watch them play. "He really likes her." I murmured, distracting her away from me spying on them.

"I know." I could tell she was smirking by her voice.

"He's such a strong boy…. After all he's been through, he hasn't given up. He just… accepts it, and just… lives." I murmured. "I wish I could be more like him." I said longingly, leaning against the doorway and staring at my brave little brother.

"We could all use a little of Falin's bravery." Annenia agreed. I felt her rest her hand on my shoulder and squeeze it reassuringly. I turned to offer her a grateful smile.

"He's not a normal child. He doesn't fear death. He embraces it." I murmured thoughtfully.

"I suppose that's better than him being so afraid of dying, that he doesn't live at all." She replied quietly.

I nodded slowly, understanding. "But he thinks this is all some sort of fate, that can't be escaped. He won't accept that this is just how things are, how life can be so cruel to even those who've done nothing to deserve it." I murmured.

"Sometimes letting a broken person believe that this is all part of some great, horrible destiny does less damage than telling them that this is just how life is." She told me softly, staring around me at the children in the living room.

I sighed, crossing my arms and leaning against the doorframe again, standing further in the kitchen than the living room so we would remain unnoticed. "But it's not fair!" I fretted. "That we're going to lose him. He's such a beautiful child, with a wonderful life ahead of him. Why does he have to have such a terrible fate? I don't' want to just let him go." I whispered, feeling my eyes sting with tears I'd held back for years now. As Falin's life steadily grew closer to an end, and I was no closer to finding a cure, thanks to my carelessness, the reality of losing him was really beginning to sink in.

"I know you love Falin, a lot. But sweetie… at one point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life. Sometimes you have to let go of the people you love most. You're always going to love them, but you have to let them go because it's the right thing to do. It hurts like hell for awhile, but after awhile the pain starts to fade." She told me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I let my shoulders slump, my arms fell to my sides, staring at the floor.

"I know." I whispered. "But it's so hard." I choked.

"Oh, I know sweetie, come here." She told me, pulling me into a hug. I cried quietly into her shoulder, feeling my body rock as she soothingly rubbed my back. I clung to her desperately, letting the tears roll out. I was really hormonal, thanks to the pregnancy, and therefore, more emotional than usual. I was normally able to hold the emotions back longer than that.

I smiled at her sadly, pulling back. "Thanks." I whispered, wiping my eyes.

She smiled. "No problem."

I smiled too when I heard an explosion of laughter from the living room. I let out a quiet, short laugh, peeking around the corner again to see them giggling and fighting playfully over the pile of poker chips in the middle of the coffee table. Susan held Serenia in her lap as she sat across from them, excitedly telling Miriad to 'whip him to a pulp' I chuckled, knowing they were both formidable players, as I had played Falin for many years, and Miriad a couple times at Hogwarts.

"Go join them, Miria." Annenia urged quietly, nudging my shoulder.

"No, I'll leave it to the kids." I murmured, watching them.

"Mirianda, may I remind you that you're a kid too?" She smiled kindly. "Go on." She pushed me forward gently. I took a few halting steps forward. I appreciated the fact that she was still encouraging me to be a child while I still was one, while my father was pushing me to be an adult, saying that since I insisted upon doing 'adult things' I needed to learn responsibility like an adult.

"You're a kid only once, Mirianda. You still have plenty of time to be an adult." She murmured, pushing me further. I smiled and went all the way in, sitting down timidly next to Falin, who moved closer to me instinctively. I smiled and put my arm around him. I looked up at Annenia who still stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. I smiled at her gratefully and she winked at me before disappearing into the kitchen.

**POV: Severus Snape**

Lumin and I walked hand-in-hand down the familiar old dirt road, the only sound the crunch of gravel beneath our feet and the occasional song of a passing bird. Devil's Abode was renowned for its peaceful, empty streets. I gazed to our right, seeing many old buildings, some of which were on the verge of collapsing, others looked as though a strong wind could blow them down. But every building in the quaint old town had been well-built and had been there for well over fifty years.

I pulled my gaze over to our left, where the town square came into view, the street opening up to a nice, big courtyard that had a little park right in the middle of it. The gentle summer breeze caused the turnabout and swings to move in a ghost-like manner as if there were invisible children playing on them. It was really quite eerie if you thought about it, considering how desolate the town was.

Lumin and I both had stopped walking and were simply staring at the scene before us, the breeze ruffling our black hair and robes. I felt Lumin's hand tighten around my own and she moved closer to me. "It's so quiet." She whispered, her voice, however soft echoed loudly and seemed quite out of place in the otherwise silent, god-forsaken town square. I agreed silently, surveying our surroundings. Her unelaborated description of the town square was adequate and precise. It was indeed, quiet.

Lumin looked up at me, clinging desperately to my hand. I looked down at my small daughter, my expression automatically softening as I took in her innocent beauty. She was the carbon copy of her mother, from her long, curly black hair, high cheek bones and electric green eyes to her sly nature, cunning and ambitions.

"Daddy?" She whispered, her sweet little innocent voice a melody to my ears.

"Yes, Brilliance?" I rumbled, offering my child a small smile. She smiled, loving it when I called her that. Her name, Illumine Shalom meant 'Brilliant Peace' It was tradition in the Snape family to have meanings behind names. My own name meant 'Stern Man'. However amusing it was to my children, I never saw the irony.

"Weren't there more people living in Devil's Abode when we first moved here?" She asked, looking around , mourning for the lonely ghost town that had been her home for a good bit of her life.

"Yes, there were." I confirmed as we continued on, walking through the little graveyard many had complained about when they lived there. They claimed it to be wrong that the people were forced to walk _through_ it to get to the only grocery in town. Lumin clung to me, eyeing the polished headstones warily.

"Why have so many people left?" She asked, looking up at me again with her big, beautiful eyes that could make the hardest heart melt. I shrugged, my eyes lingering over a particular stone that had etched into it: Randy Evers. I dipped my head in respect to the stone, knowing the man that rested there was my wife's former husband, a man I had once considered a friend.

"Most of them got tired of living in the quiet. They were the young ones who wanted to move with the times and the rapidly progressing cities while Devil's Abode never changes. They felt too good to live among the stoics, the ones content to stay with their feet firmly on the ground and not with their heads in the clouds. The rest, just died." I replied thoughtfully. Lumin nodded.

"But what about old man Rhoorest?" She asked. "He's been old since we moved here six years ago… almost seven years now. How come he's not dead yet?" She piped up innocently, making me snort in laughter. Oh how innocently a child could say the cruelest of things!

"Old man Rhoorest is a strange man." Was all I could offer in reply, amusement clear in my voice as we approached the only building that had lights on, the grocery store, the last thriving business in the town other than the school and a select few other buildings.

I pushed open the old door and Lumin padded inside, me right behind her. "Hey there, Lumi! Severus!" The cheery owner of the store smiled brightly at us.

"Hello, Sjaanje." I greeted the kindly Russian boy. He was one of the few younger fools who hung around despite the majority of the population leaving.

"Here you go sugar, saved one, just for you." He handed Lumin a licorice string, much to the child's delight. Her eyes lit up as she took it.

"Thank you!"

"No problem, darling." The young man looked up at me, his startlingly bright blue eyes sparkling and full of life, despite his dreary existence in the pits of the world. "The usual grocery's, Severus?" He asked, writing down some notes on a paper, probably keeping track of his sales. I nodded, resting a hand on my daughter's shoulder as she happily nibbled on her treat.

"Coming right up." The young man, probably in his early twenties, turned and grabbed two pre-packed bags. Idly, I realized we'd gotten into a routine with the young shopkeeper. "Here you are." He set them on the counter and I paid him. "Keeping those siblings of yours in check, there missy?" He asked, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Yes sir." Lumin replied seriously, making the jolly young man laugh.

"Vunderful." He told her in his thick Russian accent. I offered him a rare smile and took the heaviest bag, letting Lumin take the smaller one.

"Bye!" She called cheerily to the young man, waving as she skipped to catch up with me.

"See you, hun." He waved back and we left.

"See? Not everyone had left." I offered.

Lumin's smile vanished. "I hope SJ never dies." She fretted, calling the young man by his nickname, as she'd never been able to pronounce 'Sjaanje'

"He's got a few good years ahead of him." I assured her, amused. He was still in his prime, he'd be there long after I myself was gone, though I couldn't be but seven years older than him.

"Falin doesn't." Lumin said flatly, her voice strained.

I froze, turning to face her sharply. She looked up at me with the face of pure misery, and I couldn't find the heart to scold her for her words. I sighed, my shoulders slumping. "We don't know that." I murmured weakly.

"Yes we do." She argued. "Well, Mirianda does anyway. It says so in her book." She whispered. We were both silent for a long time as we continued walking, and suddenly, Lumin grasped desperately at my arm with both hands. "I don't want Falin to die! You won't let him die, will you? You'll protect him?" I looked down at my daughter in despair, wishing very much for the moment that she were a little older, so she would understand. But no amount of explaining would ever make her be able to grasp the concept of incurable disease, make her understand that she was going to lose her older brother, the one she loved and admired so dearly. She loved her brother _so much. _His death quite possibly could grieve her more than even myself.

I sighed and stopped walking. I took the bag from Lumin's hands and set them both down before getting down on one knee before the distressed child. "Illumine," I started seriously, taking her little hands in mine. She stared at me with wide, trusting eyes, the facsimile of innocence. "Oh my sweet Lumin. You're so young, to have to know about such things as this… but it simply isn't fair that we conceal the truth from you any longer." I whispered, running a hand down her pale cheek.

"Kelly and Susan told me you've been reading Mirianda's book?"

She nodded.

"So you have a small understanding of what's going on with Falin…" I pushed a strand of her dark curls from her pretty little face. I mourned for the cheerful look that had once been on her face, only a few minutes before. It had been replaced by a look of utter despair. Her full, dark lips were quivering and twisted into a pout and little tears were in the corners of her big, emerald eyes, threatening to spill.

"Lumin, Falin's illness _is _incurable." I told her quietly, feeling her stiffen. "Mirianda and I have been trying to find a cure for seven long years, and practitioners have been searching for a cure ever since the disease was first recorded, several hundred years ago." I murmured sadly, openly showing the pain the words brought me.

Lumin's pretty face was twisted in grief as a small sob broke from her lips, tears trailing down her face, her cheeks flushed and warm. "I know, Lumin. I know." I whispered, drawing the upset child into my embrace as she sobbed into my shoulder. I slid an arm around the child and picked her up with one hand, the other reaching down and grabbing the bags as I carried them all home.

I felt a dull ache forming in my chest as Lumin's small fists curled around handfuls of my robe, angrily taking out her despair on it as she continued to sob, her tears staining my shoulder. As she continued on her relentless weeping, I felt something burry itself deep inside my gut. A feeling of boiling hatred. Not towards the child in my arms, or towards Falin or even the Madness itself. But towards myself, for not protecting my children better. For being so helpless when it came to Falin, so clumsy when it came to Kelly and Susan, so detached with Mirianda and so clueless with Lumin. A part of me was terrified of messing up with Serenia, who, as Annenia's mother had so colorfully stated, was at an impressionable age. What if I messed up again? What if I couldn't protect the only child I had left that hadn't been grabbed by fate's cruel clutches?

**AN: Dun ****_dun DUUUUUN! _**** BOOM, in yo faces! Hehehehehehehe, sorry. Okay, thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, and I know there are a lot of people who haven't been, so if you are guilty of such a heinous crime, redeem yourselves by reviewing now! :D**


	47. Year 3: Chapter 1

**Chapter one:**

**Back to Hogwarts; Do You Hate Me?**

**POV: Severus Snape**

Needless to say, poor Draco stayed with us all summer, growing rather accustomed to our daily routines. I found myself enjoying the company of the boy, though he still blatantly refused therapy. The rest of the summer had been long an uneventful, Mirianda had invited Koteis Maburdan over and had told him then that the child she carried was his. He had taken in rather well, though was very shaken, and begged for my forgiveness when he was told how young Mirianda was. I, regardless of wanting to murder him in the past for what he did to my daughter, accepted his apology on the condition that he marry Mirianda and help her raise the child when it was born.

Through the summer, Falin, however quiet, was showing no signs of going into the next stage. Equally, our fear for him was growing as the year progressed. Being that the Madness first showed itself when Falin was four, and victims with the Mooney Madness only lived approximately ten years after, it was believed that he would die in the time surrounding his fourteenth birthday. I simply refused to note passing of time as his birthday, and possibly death-day, grew nearer.

"Please, Draco, just keep an eye on him for me, will you?" I asked after class on the first day, indicating my sickly pale child as he made his way out of the classroom, Lumin on his heels. Draco nodded, smiling at me sadly and following the boy out.

I sighed and leaned back in my chair. What with Mirianda being seven months into her pregnancy, she was unable to attend Hogwarts that year to keep an eye on Falin, nor was I willing to let her. Therefore, she was at home, being pampered and cared for by Annenia and Serenia while Kelly and Susan were at muggle school, and Falin Lumin and I were at Hogwarts.

I sighed again as the next class of the first day filed in. It was going to be a long year…

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

"Hey, Cerenbus! Malfoy! Wait up!" Draco, Miriad and I turned our heads to stare at Stecks, Molohov, Flejj and Perem as they made their way up to us. I groaned, rolling my eyes.

"I swear, you guys get uglier every year." I spat at them, eyeing them over.

Stecks laughed, shaking his head. "Hey, what happened to our truce?" He asked, grinning at me.

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. "I don't trust you to keep your word." I told him flatly.

"Is that so?" He grinned again and I nodded stiffly. "Well, I just wanted to say sorry… you know, for being such jerks last year." He told me, shrugging nonchalantly, looking sincere, but questionable.

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion again.

"That's great!" Draco smiled, obviously taking Stecks' word.

Stecks smiled and patted his shoulder. He turned back to me, his eyes roaming my body from head to toe. "See you around." He murmured with a thoughtful expression. With that, he and his gang left.

Draco was smiling at me now. "Isn't this great? We don't have to worry about bullies anymore!" He grinned.

I stared at him blankly for a moment before I solemnly replied from the deepest parts of my wisdom, hoping he would listen and take to heart what I was about to say."Be careful who you trust, Draco… because the devil was once an angel."

**POV: Severus Snape**

It was only a week into the school year when I first began seeing a strange pattern in Falin's behavior. "Falin, please talk to me." I asked once again, as I had asked every night since the day after we had arrived at Hogwarts, and I had noticed a change in his behavior. Once again, he would brashly tell me to just 'give him the bloody potion' and would walk away. But what he didn't know, was that by trying to push me away, I only became more fearful for him. I had a feeling he was in the depression stage, as Floria had warned. I knew I needed to keep an eye on him, as the next stage of the Madness could be drawing nearer.

Falin stared down at his cold hands that were locked gently in my own, and I felt his fingers curling and uncurling slowly in my grasp. I raised a hand to his cheek and gently lifted his chin so that his face was turned up towards mine, but he still stubbornly kept his eyes down, purposely avoiding my gaze.

A new sense of frustration swept over me, brought on by the helplessness I felt whenever he did this to me. It was trying my patience, and he knew it. He was just waiting to see how long I could go before I actually made him tell me what was wrong. I had long since reached that point, but I had been restraining myself purely because I respected him and his privacy.

But enough was enough, and I needed to know what was wrong. "Falin." I dropped the gentleness out of my tone, it was now a warning. I felt him swallow as my hand was still clamped gently but firmly on his chin to prevent him from hanging his head again.

I cursed under my breath. "Why must you be so stubborn, boy? What have I done wrong in all my years of raising you that makes it so hard for you to confide in me?" At this, his black eyes flicked up to meet mine in a hurt, defiant manner, a look that clearly said, 'you know what you did'. I flinched at the look, but said nothing.

Slowly and monotonously, he began telling me just exactly what was bothering him, and I slowly began to shrink in horror at how plainly and simply he was saying such things, as if he were reciting a boring nursery rhyme for the thousandth count. "I have been thinking lately, and I have come to realize, that my future isn't set in stone, no future is, even prophesized fates can be changed. I have the chance to change my own destiny, even if only slightly. If I was born just to die, then so be it. But I'd rather die at my own hands and spare my father the trouble, so I can choose when, where and how it happens."

I stared at him blankly as the words he said sank in. Was Falin trying to tell me he wanted to kill himself? It was happening, he had finally reached the Suicidal Period, as I had feared, he was already past the stage of depression. He was already beginning to have suicidal tendencies, brought on by the damned-to-hell Madness.

He stared at me listlessly, looking drained of emotion and will-power. How had I not seen it before? Why had I done nothing? He was wasting away already right before my eyes and still, I had allowed him to get away with not telling me what was wrong.

He was trying too hard to get rid of his problem, and I could tell that the thrill of a possible escape was haunting him as much as the Madness itself.

Falin lifted his spectral face as he shifted under my gaze. His eyes were odd; dull and yet somehow emotional at the same time. There was a vulnerable, wretched look in them that I had never seen there before. I had seen Falin miserable, and terrified; but this look was atypical. It was not the look of a hurting child trying to be strong. It was a look of utter submission, the look of a child who had finally given up.

"Do you hate me too? Like everyone else? Do you _hate_ me?" The voice was Falin's, but it wasn't spoken in a tone I had ever heard him use before. It was almost childish. I had grown used to him speaking in a wisdom that surpassed even some adults, but through the voice he had just spoken, I was bitterly reminded of just how young he was.

And the voice in itself was heart-wrenching, when I heard how different it was, and I realized it was his actual voice, and the voice he had been speaking through for the past few years was actually just a cover-up, to protect himself, to hide the weakness that was there. What was worse about the strained voice was, there was no defiance behind the tremble, no fight behind the hurt. It was, like the look in his eyes, miserable.

"I'm a horrid child," Falin continued flatly, in the same subdued, miserable tone. "You don't love me, you hate me. Just like everyone else. You're going to send me away to a place where they keep crazy people, because you hate me, and because I'm crazy." He stopped, and his voice suddenly became despairing. "Please don't send me away, daddy! I can't help it that I'm crazy."

I felt something twisting itself into my gut, it was like an icy fist had hit me with full force. A fatherly fury welled inside me that wanted to protect my son from whatever madness drove him to speak such things. And he had never called me 'Daddy'. It was always 'Father' if it was anything at all.

Perhaps the distressed, forlorn child before me would have touched me less intimately had I not taken the time to truly get to know him. If I had accepted him for the brave mask he so often wore. Perhaps if I had only cared for Falin out of responsibility, as his legal guardian, not out of affection as his loving father. If I had not spent myriad hours bonding with him and trying to save him from himself, I would have given in and let Falin leave the room with reassurance that he was wrong, and that I wasn't going to send him to a mental facility where they would probably end his misery then and there.

I cared about him more deeply than that, more deeply than I had ever cared about anything before. And it surprised my own mind to think that the feeling I felt towards my son could be described in one word. One simple word I had only ever felt for a select few other individuals in the world, one tiny word I had never uttered to another human being ever before, and feared I would never have to courage to.

I took the small boy, drawing him closer to me and holding him in my lap. I hugged him gently for a long time, just stoking his baby-soft midnight hair and feeling his ribs as they struggled to go up and down evenly. After a while, something clicked, and I found myself hugging a weeping child, letting out frustrated sobs into my chest, tiny fist clutching angrily at my cloak and twisting it about.

Falin sobbed and hid in my embrace, the only safe haven for him at that time, hiding his face against my chest. After he had successfully let out all his pent up emotion, I found myself holding a very weak and exhausted boy, who still trembled slightly and rocked every now and then as air was sharply brought into his lungs.

I inwardly cursed myself for allowing him to suffer silently for so long. Surely I must have noticed before now that what he really wanted… what he really _needed _was for me to forget about my pride for a moment and just hold him. To just _be _his father. Because that's what he needed, his father.

After a while, he leaned his face away so he could stare up at me, new red streaks the tears had carved into his cheeks standing out starkly on his pale skin. I stared right back down at his glistening black eyes as they pleaded with me for the answers to the questions I could feel swarming his mind.

'Why does everything bad have to happen to me?'

'why me?'

'did I do something wrong to deserve this?'

'do you hate me?'

'please save me'

I swallowed hard, clutching at his slender shoulders carefully as I held his full weight at my own benevolence, to drop to the floor, to throw to the mercy of the wind as he was light enough to be carried by it. But for that moment, I was content in just holding him, silently letting him know what I was still unable to tell him aloud.

"Falin, you haven't done anything wrong." It took all my self-composure to keep my voice steady as I said that, though it did waver at the end. He was just an innocent child! He had done no evil thing in his life that was worth being plagued by such a terrible twist of fate. If anyone should be haunted by karma and her biting sting, it should be me! Why Falin? He was the essence of purity. And yet, the scars of the madness had managed to even strip that of him. For the scars on his flesh that had once been clean and untouched, held a thousand untold truths.

And, although this may sound childish, coming from me, it just wasn't fair!

"Then why is my own mind against me?" The whispered question, so innocent, yet so powerful, was enough to make me break into unshed tears as I felt my heart wrench violently for the desire to protect my child from himself.

"I don't know."

**AN: Okay, for your information, the 'one word' Severus found he could describe for Falin is love, just in case you didn't catch that. I love this chapter, it's so sweet and shows Severus' loving side. I hope you enjoyed it, so please review. **


	48. Year 3: Chapter 2

**Chapter two: **

**Suffering in Silence**

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I slept with father that night after he gave me my potions, allowing him to comfort and hold me, even though images of Orl Schond were still fresh on my mind. I snuggled next to father on his warm bed, feeling him wrap protective arms around me and pull me closer. He had never allowed me to sleep with him before. Even when I had been little, and had nightmares. He would stay in my room with me, sitting by the bed, but he would never curl up with me and hold me, like I had really wanted him to do. The way mother had once done…

I felt a pained jolt go through me as I thought of my mother. Father had always told me that my mother had died giving birth to me, and why he ever assumed I would believe that, I cannot say. For one, if she had died giving birth to _me, _she wouldn't have been able to have Lumin, and besides, I remembered my mother. Clearly. Vividly. She had been beautiful, but strange. She and father had never gotten along, in fact, they had hated each other, even after I had told them I wanted us to be a family.

Mother had been a harsh woman for the first five or so years of my life, but had begun to grow a soft spot for me, and had even cared for me more than father had. But father had refused to believe she had truly changed. So he sent her away, and I had long since forgotten her motherly warmth. I had forgotten what it was like to have her hold me, but I remembered her gentle touch. I remembered her voice. And I missed it dearly. I had long since locked away the memories of her cruelty, as they only brought me pain.

I squeezed my eyes shut, snuggling closer still to my father and letting a tiny whimper escape me. "It's okay, Falin." I heard him murmur. It was moments like this, moments when father proved he still cared, that I cherished. I would never tell him that I wished he cared more, because I felt like he didn't want to. And I didn't want to make him do anything he didn't want to do. Even if it meant hating me.

**POV: Severus Snape**

"Daddy?" Falin whispered in the silence, his voice thick from crying, and he had yet to replace his childish whimper with a strong, wordy murmur.

"Yes Falin?" I asked, my hand reaching up and stroking at his head gently and he leaned into my touch.

"Do you want me to kill myself? Because I won't… if you don't want me to." He whispered. I pulled him closer, my heart wrenching at the question. It struck me suddenly how important the next words I uttered would be. Falin was a child, a child that had been badly hurt, and he was depending on me, the adult who had come to rescue him, to make it right. Regardless of my own past, and my feelings of inadequacy when it came to parenting, I was really all that Falin had, other than his siblings, and he needed me. I wondered if I could stand the weight of that responsibility, but knew it would be even harder to live without it.

"No, Falin. I don't want you to do that. I want you to stay with me." I murmured. I surprised him, and myself, by pressing my lips to his slightly warm forehead. "Do you feel alright? You're a little warm." I asked softly, worried.

"I'm fine." He mumbled, rubbing his head against my chest.

"Okay." I replied quietly.

We were both silent for a while. "Daddy?" He asked again.

"Yes, Falin?"

He was silent for a few moments. "Is it… normal, for a thirteen year old to want to die?" He whispered. I was silent for a long time, almost to the point where he thought I might not answer.

"It can be." I replied at last.

"What about you, what were you like at my age?" He asked. I made a face, staring up at the dark ceiling, thinking about just how bad my life had been when I was his age. But it surprisingly hadn't been as bad as his wretched life.

"I had similar problems as you, but they weren't a result of a mental illness." I replied carefully.

"What were they from then?" He asked curiously, taking my hand and playing with his fingers, only just barely able to see them in the darkness of the room. I was silent again, my eyes darkening.

"A number of things. Being bullied, having and abusive father…" I sighed, mulling over my past and finding only pain and heartbreak there.

"Does it get better, as you get older?" He asked.

"I suppose. For some." Was my soft answer, and Falin was obviously disappointed with my concise answer, probably longing to hear all the nasty little details of my childhood. Not that I blamed him, of course, I would be exactly the same if our roles were reversed. Nothing more the mankind's avid curiosity for which we are renowned.

"But, what about you?" He pressed. "Did it get better for you?"

I shifted beside him in the bed. "Go to sleep Falin." I murmured.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I felt my heart drop. I hadn't wanted to end the conversation! We hadn't talked like this in…. well, ever! I wanted to keep talking with him about me, about him, about us. But he seemed content to just go to sleep, and I didn't want to lose the comfort he was already giving me just so I could get what I'd wanted for so long. So I was silent.

"Goodnight father." My old voice droned, back in place to hide the hurt behind it.

He was silent for several moments. "…goodnight… Falin."

**POV: Severus Snape**

I woke at the crack of dawn, as I usually did, and shifted slightly, glancing down at the tiny form I held in my arms. Falin was fast asleep, curled in my embrace, face hidden under his jet-black hair and buried deeply into my own. I smiled sadly, brushing it off his face and watched him as he slept.

I carefully pulled away from him, then rested my hand on his forehead, which was still just as warm as it had been the night before. I felt he was running a fever. I went into the drawers of my desk and drew out a potion to help with that. I mixed it into a cup of warm tea I prepared, also mixing it with the anti-depressant I had stayed up making all night for him after he had fallen asleep.

I woke him carefully, just before the other students woke, so he could go in and feign sleeping in his own bed. I gave him his medicine to help his hallucinations, the medicine to help ease the stress, the serum to calm the Madness, the potion to bring the fever down, and the extra bit in his tea to help with the depression. I had never asked him how he felt about taking so much medication, as he had always automatically had to do it. He had never complained about it, therefore I had assumed he was fine with it. Though Falin never complained, about anything. Ever. He could be suffering, physically, mentally, emotionally, or all three but would still keep his mouth shut and suffer in silence.

It was a trait he'd probably gotten from me, as I was prone to do that as well. Not a trait I was particularly pleased with him having. I would have preferred it if he'd come to me more often.

"Thanks." He murmured, setting the empty cup down on my desk and hurrying out. I sighed and watched him as he left, then started getting ready for a new day.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"Falin?" I turned when I head Falin's name. I saw Miriad Hensul standing in front of my best friend as we walked towards class. I glanced at Falin, who was giving me the look. I got the hint and smirked, walking a few feet away with my back to them, my finly tuned ears picking up their conversation.

"But Miriad, how can you love me when you know who I am?" I heard Falin whisper. I moved over to the corner and peeked around, staring as they stood in front of each other, faces incredibly close. I smiled, knowing Falin really needed this.

"I kissed the scars on your skin, I still think you're beautiful. I don't care who you are, or why you were born, all I care about is that you're a good person, and I love you." I heard Miriad reply in a breathy voice. And suddenly, they were kissing. I smirked hiding behind the corner and peeking again to see them locked in each other's arms, working their lips expertly against one another's, like they'd been waiting for this moment for too long to hold anything back. I smiled and pulled back, heading for my next class, deciding to give them some privacy.

**POV: Miriad Hensul**

I slipped my arms around his neck as i felt his slid around my waist, pressing our bodies together. The kiss was beautiful, passionate, but immature. We had no idea what we were doing, as we'd never done anything like this before. But what we did know was that it was right. It was _so _right.

I smiled through the kiss, very much liking the bittersweet cold from his soft lips touching the warmth of mine. We were the perfect balance for each other of cold and warmth, dark and light. We didn't need each other to be whole, we just needed to balance each other out. And we did so perfectly.

When we finally pulled apart, we were breathing shallowly so as to not disturb the moment. I rested my warm forehead against his cold one and felt a bolt of electricity go through me at our contact. I intertwined my fingers in his as we stood there, locked in each other's arms, eyes closed. I moved my head and rested it on his shoulder, shivering as a chill went up my spine from the feeling of his cold skin in such close contact with mine. I could literally feel cold seeping from his skin through the thin material he wore.

I finally pulled back, smiling at him, my eyes shining. "See you." I whispered, brushing my lips against his once more before stooping down and grabbing my books and running off down the hall, feeling his eyes following me.

**AN: Heheheeheheheheheheh. *cough cough hack choke wheeze* AHEM. Sorry. okay. I really love this chapter, because it shows how much Severus still cares, and how much Miriad cares, and Draco, well, Draco still cares, but he's a nosy parker, now aint he? XD okay, please review and let me know what you think.**


	49. Year 3: chapter 3

**Chapter three:**

**The talk**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

It was late in the middle of the night, after the third day of school that year, and I was in the middle of an uncommonly pleasant dream. Harry potter and myself were having another almighty duel, and I was beating the Lumos out of him if I might add.

I was startled awake, however, by a persistent poking to my ribs. I opened my eyes to see Falin leaning over me, eyes wide and fearful, poking relentlessly at me. "Shove off!" I muttered, half-awake and slapping his hand away as it poked me for the umpteenth time.

"I need to talk to you." He told me quietly, urgently, staring blankly at the floor. I sat up in my bed and got up immediately, worried. "What's wrong?" I whispered as he took my hand firmly in his and began leading me out to the common room. We sat down on our favorite couch, still holding hands and he started talking.

"Today I realized I'm the biggest hypocrite of them all. I tell you to keep holding on that there is a light at the end. That everything gets better as you continue to wait. I always tell you to have hope. That you need to keep trying because it is too early to give up, that you have so much to live for. Then there is me, and I am barely holding on." Falin whispered, staring at me.

I blinked, wondering what his was getting at, and silently wondering what he needed to talk about in the middle of the night. I thought deeply about what he was saying as he continued.

"All I ever prayed for was an alternate ending to the horrid nightmares I'd been having, but all I ever received was the same alternate ending to my once pleasant dreams. At night my true feelings come out. I'm done pretending for the day and I just don't care anymore. I'm too tired to pretend that I'm alright. My father tells me I'm not myself when I'm tired, but it's when I'm not tired that I'm not myself. Right now I'm more myself than ever. And yet, no one seems to realize that." He stared blankly at the floor, his face paling a few shades with every word. I felt my heart sink lower and lower as he spoke. What was he talking about?

"To be honest, it's not just that I don't want to sleep, and risk facing whatever nightmares my mind might create. It's that I don't want to have to deal with the vile sensation of waking up after a beautiful reality to this horrible if, this is how it's meant to be, what if this is my fate? What if being messed up is how I'm supposed to be? What if I'm meant to take my own life, you know, like populace hegemony or survival of the optimum? What if this is life's own sick little way to make sure the world doesn't become too tainted with all the pits of humanity? It leaves me wondering one thing though, why me?"

I felt my heart break that he thought such things, that he thought the world felt it should be rid of him, when in reality, he was the only thing I was living for. Was he seriously thinking about killing himself? And what did he mean by being 'messed up'? If anyone was messed up, it was most certainly me!

"It's so hard for me to understand why I can't believe in anyone anymore, predominantly myself. And I always used to think no one could ever love me. And now, I have proof. And what I don't understand, is why I don't believe it when you say you're my friend." He whispered, dragging his gaze up to me. I moved sub-consciously closer to him and tightened my grip on his hand, trying to show him that what he thought was wrong, and I began telling him what I thought.

"Once everyone leaves, you think that everyone comes into your life just to leave you."I began quietly. "So you push everyone out and don't let anyone else in. It's like, once you've been hurt, you're so scared of becoming attached. You act like it's you against the world, but really, it's just you against yourself. Because your smile can hide a thousand lies, but nothing, nothing can hide the pain that is clearly behind your eyes. You have to know what it feels like, to know what it looks like." I told him quietly, knowing how he felt.

"Despite your optimistic outlook on life, some people are just trying to get through the day without falling apart." He told me evenly.

I looked up at him sharply. "You think I don't know what it feels like to barely hang on?" I challenged.

He shook his head slowly. "Not what I meant at all." He replied.

"You've changed. You used to be the strong one." I told him quietly.

He stared at me solemnly. "Yeah, I've changed. Heartbreak does that to people." He whispered. He turned to stare blankly at the floor again, solemnly thinking for a few moments of strained silence. "Pain and loss, they define us as much as joy or love." He began quietly, his eyes roaming the darkness.

_"_After I die, I'll want to go back, I'll want them all to know how broken they made me. I'll want to show them all just how wrong they were and just how blind they had been." He whispered, no longer talking to me. Why did he keep talking about death? "They say that if I drown myself in the sorrows of my mind, that you will find me in hell, burning for the sin of wanting to escape the agony of being amongst the living. And that's not fair!" He fretted quietly, shaking his head.

"I always used to think I wanted to be great, to be well-known and respected world-wide. I always thought that would happen, too. But I dwelled too much on dreams. And, I realized life never really gets you what you want." He said quietly.

"After you die, you'll be remembered, but not how you wanted. You're not capable of your dreams if you keep changing them, and chasing does nothing but wear you down. Dragging through another day of searching for yourself, without a hint of success… what good does that do? What you want and what you need aren't always what you are, and what you are isn't determined by you, it's determined by what you do. And determined by what I have done, no one will remember me for anything worthwhile."

I stared at him blankly for a moment. "Why are you telling me this?" I asked quietly.

"Because I'm conflicted!" he cried, jumping up and startling me. He paced the floor in front of me. "Part of me wants to be gone already, to leave nothing behind but a memory. But the other part of me, doesn't want the memory left to be a bad one. I want to leave behind a reason to be missed!" He cried.

"So, when my time comes, please… Draco, just forget all the wrong things I've done! You can help me! Please, just… help me leave behind some reasons to be missed! Just… keep me in your memory, just the good stuff! Leave out all the rest!" He almost begged. I stared at him, feeling hollow and empty from what he was saying.

I began speaking to him slowly, unsure of what I was saying at first, but as I continued, the words seemed to flow into place, and started making sense.

"From time to time in life, you find a special friend. Someone who makes your life better just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is a light even in the darkness, you just have to want to find it. This is forever friendship." I told him quietly, noting his puzzled expression at how the conversation had changed so suddenly, but I just kept talking.

"When you're down and the whole world seems gloomy and bare, your forever friend lifts you up and makes that gloomy and bare world suddenly seem brilliant and complete. Your forever friend gets you through the tough times, the depressing times and even the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows, unwilling to let you go the wrong way by yourself. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you back to where you're supposed to be." By this point, I was getting a little choked up, and it took all of my self-control to not break down crying.

"Your forever friend holds your hand," I squeezed his hands for emphasis. "and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you don't have to worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end." I felt tears spilling down my cheeks after I'd finished, and he was staring at me blankly.

"You're my forever friend, Falin. I can't live without you." I told him, taking his hands and making him sit down. "Please, I don't want to hear anymore talk about dying, okay?" I begged, pulling him close and crying into his midnight hair as it softly brushed over my tear-streaked face. He had stopped me from killing myself, and saved me from my tormenter, the man who had been hurting me for six years of my life. And I could never repay him. But I could save him. If I could only convince him to stay, perhaps I would feel as if at least a little of my debt had been paid.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer still, feeling the tears come faster and faster as I had yet to get a response from him. "Falin?" I whimpered, still crying, desperate for him to agree.

"Draco." He pushed me away carefully, and I watched him with a sinking heart as he stared at me with pain in his eyes. "I have something… important to tell you." He told me quietly, raising a hand to my cheek and rubbing his thumb gently to wipe some tears from under my eyes, but that didn't stop the rest from coming and dripping over his hand.

"The condition I have… Moony Madness, as it's called, you know what it is, right?" He asked. I nodded slowly, feeling his cold hand as it gently pushed back some hair from my face. He hesitated for a moment. "How much did father tell you about it?" He asked.

I shook my head slowly. "Not much, just that… it's like what happens to a Werewolf post transformation, where he loses his mind." I whispered, still crying.

Falin swallowed, staring at me, resting his wrist on my shoulder so that he was clutching lightly where my shoulder meets my neck. I raised a hand to his and clutched at it desperately.

"Moony Madness… is not… just a disease of the mind. It's also a cancer of the soul. No matter… how many potions I take to keep my mind whole… it will continue eating away at me. And eventually, the medicine will stop working, and I'll lose myself to the madness." He told me quietly, and I let out a choked sob, shaking my head fiercely, not accepting what he was telling me.

"Yes, Draco. Yes. It's the truth." He told me, raising a hand back to cup my cheek. "It will happen, sometime close to my fourteenth or fifteenth birthday. No one with my condition has ever survived past ten years after the first stage shows itself. And when it does, my father will have to kill me humanely before I kill him, someone else, or myself."

I was shaking uncontrollably as sobs erupted from my mouth. He swallowed again. "I have accepted it. And you have to as well. Death is merely a better life that you have to wait many painful years to get. I am glad I know when I'm going to die. Because I know to keep on smiling until that day comes, because I know it will, and every day, is a step closer to freedom from pain." He murmured. I shook my head again, drawing my best friend to me, as if the closer I drew him, the further away I could keep him from his unfair fate.

"That's why I've been considering suicide." He told me, speaking into my shoulder. "So that I can chose my own fate, so that I can shape my own destiny, and not have to face the fact that my own father will have to kill me to keep me from killing someone else. The thought alone, that at any moment, I could lose my mind and hurt someone I love… It's. Heartbreaking." He murmured, pulling away slightly and staring at me.

"They say… the worst feeling in the world is being hurt by someone you love. But I disagree. The worst feeling in the world is hurting someone you love. And I don't want to do that. Not to you, not to anyone." He pulled away from me slowly. "So, since it's inevitable. I'm going to take what little control I have, and get it over with. The only control I have of yet, is _when_ I will die. I don't have to wait until I'm fourteen and force the deed onto my father."

I shook my head. "Falin! You don't want to hurt me, and yet, that's exactly what you're doing!" I told him, feeling hurt that I was weeping my heart out in ultimate sorrow, anguish and bitter grief and he hadn't shed a single tear. I knew at that moment that he was quite sure about what he wanted.

I clutched at him desperately, shaking him, hoping to knock sense into him. "Falin! You think I don't know what it feels like? Having your future preplanned for you? I'd like to have the freedom to choose too, you know, but there are other alternatives to suicide! 'Suicide isn't the answer!' You remember telling me that, don't you? That's exactly what you told me that night, after I had gotten that letter from my father. You told me if I had done what I wanted and killed myself, I would be letting my father win!

"If you do this, I'll tell you now, you'll be letting the sickness win, and that's not what I want to see happen to you! Yes, your death will bring me great pain and sorrow, but, when the time comes! There is no need to rush into the inevitable, simply because it is inescapable! Ultimately, death itself is unavoidable, people are just too caught up in the moment, to realize that, and they take life for granted! Don't take away the only thing you have left. Until the time comes, you can choose your own destiny, shape your own path.

"I know the year… or even months you have left aren't long enough to do much, but use them to the fullest! Use them to fulfill what you were born to fulfill and leave it at that, because, after that, there's nothing you can do! You have to just, accept the things you can't change, have the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to tell the difference. Don't try to change what can't be changed, Falin." I stared at him earnestly, gripping his shoulders tightly.

He stared at me, eyes finally brimming with tears, mouth slightly agape as though he wanted to speak, but what I'd said had silenced him. He was speechless. I stared at him seriously, knowing I'd done all I could. If he still wasn't convinced after all that, then there was nothing else I could do to change his mind.

He began shaking his head slowly, red tears dripping out. "I-I'm sorry…." He began, barely above a whisper.

i felt my heart sink as my shoulders slumped. "Falin, please." I began in a quiet, raspy tone. "I don't want to lose you before your time." I whispered. He stared at me, then let his gaze drop and nodded slowly. I closed my eyes and let a few remaining tears slide down, relief making me weak.

I drew him to me in a gentle, loving embrace. After a while, we curled up on the couch, this time, he was in the front, my arms wrapped protectively around his tiny form. I noticed with growing concern, that the boy was just as small as he had been when I'd first met him, two years back. He hadn't grown an inch. He was still just as short, small, and thin as he'd been when he was eleven.

"Love you." I whispered to my newfound brother, pulling the tiny boy closer to me and tenderly kissing his soft, cold lips. I saw a sad smile take over his features as he nuzzled his face closer to mine, feeling his cold hand cup my cheek as he kissed me back, very much needing that moment of brotherly comfort. After he pulled his lips away we both lay there in silence for a while, our foreheads pressed together, eyes closed as we absorbed the comfortable silence. His whispered reply was all I needed to hear to lull me to sleep.

"Love you too."

**AN: To clear things up, I'm not at all implying any type of gayness here… the 'love you' was a friendly, brotherly kind of love, Draco kissing Falin was a comforting gesture ONLY, Falin kissing him back was a desperate move for more comfort, and this was all simply a beautiful bonding moment between two best friends and… I think I'm gonna cry! :") Please review with what you think will happen next! Will Draco be able to save his best friend the same way Falin saved him? Find out next! **


	50. Year 3: Chapter 4

**Chapter four:**

**Still Struggling; A Glimpse Into the Mind**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I yawned, waking to find a tiny boy snuggled up next to me, face nuzzled into my hair which I had allowed to hang loosely that year. I had grown tired of the slicked-back look, having worn it like that for two years already. It had taken me forever to wash out the disgusting oil that kept it so neatly in place. Besides, it had gotten a little longer, and I liked it loose.

I smiled at Falin as he clung to me, feeling very much like I was holding a five-year old and not a teenager that was only seven days younger than me. We had been born very close together. My birthday was June fifth, and his was June twelfth. We were going to have a joint birthday party that year, had it not been for… the incident… with Orl Schond.

No matter how much I tried, I couldn't get Falin to admit that he'd been stupid to stay at my mansion after what happened. He kept just waving it off and saying that it all worked out in the end. Which… it sort of did. Orl was gone for good, -lord knows just _what _father did to him- and I had a new tutor. –mercifully, a half-sane one- and I'd never have to deal with the problem again, though it did still haunt my nightmares.

Had it not been for my pride, I would have taken Snape up on his advice to see a therapist about it. But after saying no the first time, I wasn't about to change my mind. I had my pride.

I sighed and nudged Falin awake. He sluggishly got off the couch and I followed suit. We sighed and got ready for the day.

**POV: Severus Snape**

**…at the end of the day…**

I stared at my son that night, as he stood before me after giving him his potions. He was, once again, pouring his heart out to me and unknowingly ripping my already shattered soul into a few smaller pieces.

"Just like a ghost I drift through the days, trying to find reasons to live, thinking of ways to free myself from the pain. Nothing ever changes, no matter how many potions I take. Pain gives me numbness, and happiness I can easily fake. Father, you didn't pay attention. You didn't even look. If you listened, you'd know who I really am. You'd know my pain. But you turned away. Eating disorders, and cutting. Everything is over. Nothing worth keeping. So when I die, you can have the guilt. Pay the price of the coffin you built for me before my time. I'm done with tears, and everything else. This is the end." He told me bravely, though he looked seconds away from tears.

"Falin, why are you giving up so easily? And what makes you so sure I've not been trying my very hardest to help you?" I cried. "I'm always here for you, you never come to me!" I gave the boy a despairing look.

"Where were you when I was all alone? Why weren't you there after I begged you to save me from mother? How could you leave me there by myself, you were all I had!" By now, tears were burning red lines down his cheeks, but he ignored them. I stared at him, feeling my heart break, but not wanting to interrupt.

"I had enough people to hurt me, I needed my father! You promised you'd always be there to pick me up when I fell, you told me if I ever needed anything, all I had to do was call. I must have called you a million times that night, I just needed to hear your voice I needed to know you were there, but you didn't even answer, didn't even hear…" He whispered, staring at the floor.

"I needed you daddy," That hurt. He knew I had never considered myself much of a father to him, and therefore, when he called me anything but 'father' it was taken deeply to heart. "I needed you to love me more but you weren't thinking about me when you sat there and did nothing. I hated you because you left me there with no one but mother, even now you haven't apologized for anything you've done. You say I need to forgive you but how when you never even said sorry?" I was starting to understand now. I had never apologized to Falin for all those years of doing nothing whenever his mother had her way with him. I'd apologized in a way, bit not any acceptable way.

"Who stuck by you right or wrong, wasn't it me? Just like the typical man you are, you couldn't love me or appreciate the things I did. I don't even know who you are, you're not the man I looked up to as a kid. And even he was a poor excuse for a father. I want him back though, he's better than you, at least he cared a little bit! I don't want my father, I want my dad!" He cried, more and more tears scorching his face. I made a move to wipe them, but he hurriedly stepped back, shaking, fear flashing behind his eyes.

He continued on despite that, though his voice was lower and trembling. "Don't you see? Nothing else mattered, he was all I ever had, despite the fact he never put me first… father, how could you leave me there by myself? Since the first day we left mother, after she changed, there's been this space I've so desperately trying to fill, no one understands anymore and these cuts are the only way I numb the pain. I found a way to fill the space but its only temporary they can't erase the pain, not forever." He shoved his scarred arms forward and I stared gravely down at the many scars. Too many to count, though according to Draco, he had them numbered.

His arms dropped wearily to his sides, and his voice continued with a tired note. "I just wish this would all stop, I wish I could make it all okay. You were my protector father, you weren't suppose to hurt me, you were suppose to be my hero. But you did hurt me, and you can't take it back, it'll never be the same. I've become so insecure and you're the one to blame even if you realize you were wrong and told me you're sorry tonight." He refused to look up at me. He folded his arms protectively in front of himself and stared at the floor instead.

"It's done so much damage trying to fill that space… nothing you do will ever make it right. I made some big mistakes trying get your attention, and I'm sorry, I can't take it back no matter how bad I want to. I'm ashamed of my choices, you can be mad and hate me but if I deserve that father, so do you..." He whispered, this time, he did drag his gaze up to meet mine, and I was meet by an overwhelming wave of boiling hatred and confusion from Falin.

"I've tried. Time and time again, I've tried. To not cut, to not be weak, to not fall into temptations. The Madness single handily abolished whatever pieces of my heart were left. You see the struggles I've been through. You still leave me, like I'm nothing. I'm sorry for being weak. I'm sorry for existing! I'm sorry for loving you, I'm sorry for you having to love me. I'm sorry about the struggles I put you through. But I'm most sorry for, is wasting your time." He told me desperately.

"Falin, you could never waste my time-" He cut me off, continuing as if I'd never spoken.

"I'm sorry I apologize too much. I'm sorry that I can't live up to your expectations. I'm sorry I broke down. I tried to hold out, to be strong. I physically and mentally can't. I'm sorry I can't be the ideal, perfect child everybody makes me out to seem. I'm sorry you can see scars. But that's the only thing beautiful about me. I've lost total control. Don't know where or how to start. Don't know if I want to start. Maybe I should just give up… I cry too much. Too many tears in only a short time." Tears were streaming down his face again.

"Falin-" I tried drawing him to me, but he violently pushed me away and kept talking, his voice raising higher and higher until he was yelling.

"I'm sorry I couldn't put my fake smile on, I'm sorry I can't find it anymore! However, what I'm sorry for the most, I'm sorry for affecting you. Everyone. I'm sorry for getting in your heart and in your head. And once again, I'm sorry for apologizing so much." He whimpered, staring at me in despair.

After a few moments of silence, he began talking again, quietly this time. "Some will say that suicide or cutting is selfish. Selfish for the loved ones. Isn't it selfish for the loved ones to continue to let the person they're supposed to love live through life in so much pain? I'm not committing suicide, but I just might. Too many thoughts, too many unseen cuts to the human eye. That's why I'm breaking down, giving in, and giving up. You can't cheat life out of its sick little game, it will come back to haunt you in the form of an eternity in hell." He spluttered, choking on the tears.

I opened my mouth, but the right words escaped me, so I sat there in silence, unsure what to do or say. After a few moments, Falin just nodded. "Okay. I understand." He whispered, then turned and walked slowly away, head hanging, shoulders slumped, and I heard choked sobs coming from his direction.

"Falin, wait!" I called after him. He didn't stop, he just kept going, his pace quickened and slammed the door. I made no attempt to follow him.

I sighed wearily, turning and resting my elbows on my desk and holding my head in my hands. How was I ever going to make things right with Falin? How was I going to make up for all those years I could have done something, but didn't?

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

After that talk, I fled straight to Draco, my confident. I had a lot I needed to talk about. I knew I shouldn't wake him again, but I had to. He willingly walked with me to the empty, cold common room after he saw my tears. He gave me a little while to calm down, wrapping an arm over my shoulder and lending his comfort even though he wasn't sure what was wrong yet.

"I don't know why I feel this way. I never asked for pain, tears, or suffering. I suppose I was normal at one point in life… maybe I was full of smiles, laughter, and happiness, but I can't remember." I began quietly, my voice full of tears. "I wish I knew the cause of this change in my life, find a way to make it all stop. It all began when I was three or four. It was a gnawing, a tug, a dark thing pulling me under. I screamed in silence, and tried to deal with it all on my own." I continued in the same soft manner, trying to keep the tears at bay. I leaned my head on Draco's shoulder, almost forgetting he was there as I continued, staring blankly ahead of me as I was dragged back in time.

_Countless tears had fallen, and many sleepless nights had passed. A lonely day at home when I was eight lead me to explore. Just walking around, looking, and thinking. I was thinking about life, and about hurting. It was then when I found the muggle pocket knife. A small blade, with a deadly sharp edge, an edge that I thought would make my life better. I hid in my room, lost, and alone, wondering what my father would think. I sat in the corner of my room and wondered if the little blade could solve my problems. I stretched out my arm in front of me, and put the edge to my wrist. I was scared, but something was giving me that nudge, that thought that if I cut myself, all the pain would go away. As the blood poured out, it was as if the dark thing inside me was satisfied, the pain was numbing._

My eyes darkened, and I could feel the familiar throbbing of longing in my arm, as if my flesh could remember all the damage I'd caused it, and wanted more.

"Over time, it had gotten worse. When I started sometime last year at Hogwarts, I was on the verge of killing myself, thinking of ways to do it, ways to make it easy, and how to cause the least pain to my father, even though I was convinced he didn't care. The little demon inside me had awakened." I felt him stiffen beside me, as though the thought of me trying to kill myself had entered my mind in his presence bothered him.

"I had gotten defensive and angry. Refused being looked at, examined, and refused to take potions, or undergo counseling. It makes me wonder, if it's going to happen again. It gets harder to deal with my emotions, and being a hormonal teenager doesn't help. I want to forget the hurt, the pain, the suffering that I'm going through and that I have caused. I think the thing that I regret most, is how much I've hurt my father. I've been nothing but selfish, and have walked over him, and if I keep it up, I know he won't be there for me when I need him most. I just wish I knew what to do, what path to turn to. I need to find something to numb the pain permanently, a way to make the demon go away forever. I'm afraid of what will happen, if I don't get help soon…"

He gave my shoulders a reassuring squeeze. "Falin, if I've learned anything from being around you all these years, it's that your father cares about you, a lot. He'll never abandon you in a time of need. He'd do anything for you." He told me. We were both silent for a moment. "But… Falin?" I looked up to meet his uncertain stare, as if he couldn't seem to decide if what he was about to ask me would hurt my feelings or not. "Why… do you still do it?" He asked. I sighed.

"Most of it's the Madness. It won't let me go. But sometimes I cut myself just to feel the pain… then I hide my scars because of all the shame, because I promised to stop and failed to keep that promise." I told him rolling up the sleeve and staring at the blurs that had once been names. "The pain is awful, but I still do it just to feel sometimes. Because pain's the only thing I can feel. I have to make sure everything's still real. My life has been horrible, I do it to forget… I cut my wrist, then I cry as I sit alone, hoping for someone to save me from this so I can finally say I've won. I want to quit this habit but I still reach for the blade, I cry out in pain, my arm turns that familiar red shade and I get that adrenalin rush. The blood runs over my hand. But I know I shouldn't keep doing it. I'm not only hurting myself I'm hurting others too. I have to stop. I need to become someone new, but I can't." I whispered.

"It's okay." Draco said awkwardly. I knew he felt like I had felt after trying to comfort him after finding out he was sexually assaulted almost daily at home. I had never had to deal with anything like that before… certain incidents. But as a result, I had had no idea how to comfort him, because I didn't know how bad it made him feel. –unfortunately, I now know the exact hell he had gone through- He probably was having trouble understanding how something so gruesome could bring me relief, therefore he didn't know how to comfort me.

But I accepted the comfort, however awkward it was, and drew solace from the fact that he wasn't judging me. "Thanks Draco." I whispered, wiping my face. I regretted that action. My cheeks were raw from the scolding tears. I winced as the hard fabric of my sleeve raked over the burns. I cursed.

"You okay?" He asked without moving. In order to look at me, he would have had to move, and we were both comfortable at that moment.

"Em fine." I mumbled.

I sighed, pulling away from him. "I'm tired." I told him quietly, as the sleeping draught father had given me was dragging at my limbs and making my eyelids heavy.

"Okay." He helped me back to our beds. He sat on the bed beside me for a little while and even crawled under the covers with me so we could whisper for a while.

Draco spoke something, but it was so low I couldn't understand it.

"Mm?" I had closed my eyes, and had barely heard what he'd said.

"Stay strong, Falin." He whispered again. I nodded tiredly, feeling exhausted and ready for some sleep after a long day of depression and anxiety pulling me down. I felt a little better after Draco talking with me, but I was still depressed majorly and physically and emotionally drained. I silently hoped I wouldn't be transported back home, but I knew it would be too good to be true to get a full night's sleep.

I was dimly aware of Draco's lips pressing against mine briefly just like the night before, then of him getting up and moving to his own bed, but I was far too tired to pay it much mind. I closed my eyes, and instantly, I was in another place.

_Expecting it to be the same, familiar grand home I normally was in, with Nyphera and my other siblings in reality, I was shocked and slightly devastated when a different place came into view all together. I silently despaired. Not another one! I prayed that it was indeed reality, or at least a pleasant dream. I couldn't bear for another nightmare…_

_I looked around the room, my mind flashing but I didn't remember anything about the place, it was unfamiliar. I'd never been there before, and yet… it was familiar? In a way… I jumped, startled when a door opened and a young girl stepped in, staring at me with bright green eyes. "Nyphera?" I whispered._

_She smiled when she saw me and closed and locked the door with a wandless command. "Rysek? How are you feeling? Do you remember me?" She whispered._

_ "Where am I?" I demanded._

_"Rysek, please, calm down." The girl with red hair pleaded._

_"Where am I!?" I screamed at her, going around the room and pounding on walls like a frightened animal._

_ "Rysek, you've had an accident, you hurt your head, please, Rysek, do you remember me?" She begged._

_I stared at her, taking in her full image. Her long hair reached down to her elbows, cascading from her scalp in a waterfall of delicate orange-tinted curls. Her skin was soft and light with a healthy glow, much in contrast to my own sickly appearance. Her face had many freckles which added to her aura of complete innocence, while my skin remained spotless. Her long, childlike lashes completed the loveliness of her speckled green eyes. She was an angel. A familiar angel._

_"Y-you're, Miriad… or, or Sia." I whispered._

_She shook her head. "No, my name is Phaen, you've been calling me Miriad and Sia all week." She told me quietly._

_"No, this isn't real… I'm dreaming again!" I cried, glaring at the figure that stood before me._

_"No, you're not, your name is Rysek, you've been through a lot of trauma, let me help you." Phaen begged. I glared at her, stumbling backwards, gripping the wall._

_"My name is Falin, I don't belong here!" I screamed, pounding on the door when it wouldn't open._

_"Rysek, please, don't make me call your mother." Phaen pleaded._

_I shrank back in horror. "NO! Not mother, no, please." I begged._

_"Then calm down, let me explain." Phaen whispered desperately, her hands out in a surrendering manner. I stared at her, panting as I had my back against the wall, looking very much like a caged animal._

_I nodded slowly. "Explain." I told her, my voice shaking._

_"You hit your head, really hard. You've been having hallucinations. This is your reality. This is real. You keep talking about another reality, where your name is Falin-"_

_"My name _is_ Falin." I interrupted._

_"No, it's not. Your name is Rysek." She told me, coming closer. I pressed against the wall, my feet working desperately against the floor, trying to get further back._

_"I won't hurt you, Rysek." She told me._

_"But… it was so real…" I whispered. "I was, I was just at Hogwarts… I had just gone to bed, and suddenly, I woke up here." I told her._

_She nodded. "Yes, you've been saying that same thing for weeks now. You had an accident. The doctors say you knocked something loose in your head, but it's going to be okay." She told me, rubbing my arm._

_I stared at her, wide-eyed. "It's going to be okay, Rysek." She murmured, leaning forward and kissing me. I froze, eyes wide, staring at her as she kissed me passionately. I wasn't sure how to respond, so I pushed her back roughly. She stared at me with a hurt expression. "What?" She asked._

_"Why did you do that?" I demanded._

_"B-because… I'm your wife."_

**AN: So, basically, if you're wondering what all this crap is about… Falin has hallucinations, and dream-like realities in his mind. He's had them ever since he was eight, when he hit the 'Post-Traumatic Stage' I'll have more on that later. And again, the kiss with Draco and Falin, it's just a comforting gesture, okay? I don't know if your cultures do it, but mine does so… yeah. Please review? :)**


	51. Year 3: Chapter 5

**Chapter five:**

**Naked in the Girl's Dorms; Potions Problems**

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

"Falin! Wake up, Falin!" I blinked open my eyes and found I was back in the same old dream, I stared up at father as he stared down at me, eyes wide and searching. I tried to sit up quickly, but found I could not do it, as I was strapped down. I blanked for a moment, looking down to see I was tied to the bed. I looked around and saw I was in the hospital wing, again.

I sighed, my shoulders slumping in defeat. "What happened?" I asked tiredly, feeling weak, as if I'd been up all night. "I had… actually. Phaen and I had… um, had some fun. I don't want to go into any details. It was her idea. What? Don't look at me like that… she's my wife after all…." I mumbled after he gave me an odd look, but he didn't seem to really understand me since I had mumbled the whole thing rather fast, my words running together horribly. The entire thing had been answering my own unvoiced questions, but I was in an odd state of mind. I was talking to myself again. Damn it!

"We… found you in the girls dormitory, not wearing anything and smiling like a lunatic…"

I flinched, hoping I hadn't thoroughly embarrassed myself… _"Shit,_ I was naked?" I cried. "Oh god, I hope none of the girls were awake…" I shivered, thinking about them laughing and pointing, watching me do something completely stupid in my sleep. That thought made me cringe again.

Father nodded slowly, once again, choosing to ignore my choice of words. "None of the girls reported you doing anything odd, they all seemed adamant that they found you this morning, just lying there on the floor." He sighed.

I made a face, shivering again. "So, why am I tied up?" I asked, staring at the leather bonds.

"Precautionary measure. It seems I'll have to up the dosage on your medicine." He told me.

I nodded. "It doesn't help, I go home every time I sleep." I told him.

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "Home…?" He questioned.

I smiled. "One of my many homes. You remember me telling you before that my mind exists in several realities?" he nodded and I continued. "Well, I usually wake up in the other realities and they're stubbornly insisting that their world is real. I'm just not sure anymore." I sighed.

He stared at me for a moment, then sighed, nodding. "Yes, I remember you telling me about them before. I believe they're repercussions of the Post-Traumatic Stage. " He replied.

"I have a home, I can't believe I forgot about it. Phaen says I hit my head and that I've been going in and out of consciousness throughout the past week, constantly talking about other things that don't make sense." I sighed.

"Who's Phaen?" Father asked curiously.

"She's my wife." I answered right away with confidence, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Father froze, staring at me for a moment. "What? Relax, she's not in this dream, she's in reality." I informed him, nodding.

He sighed, shaking his head. "We've been over this, Falin. _This _is reality. That was a dream." He told me.

I shook my head stubbornly. "No, it was real. She's real! My wife is real, don't you dare say different!" I glared at him, clenching my fists.

I saw his shoulders slump in a defeated manner. "Falin, listen to me. I am real, this is real. You're not dreaming. What you experienced last night is a repercussion of the Post-Traumatic Stage of your illness, you understand me? That was just a dream, it wasn't real. Phaen, isn't real."

He saw the hurt expression I gave him and sighed. "It's okay Falin, I know you're confused, but trust me when I tell you that _this_ is real." I stared at the ceiling for a moment, thinking about what he was saying.

"But Phaen, she, it was so real…" I breathed, remembering the vivid dream. Her scent, her touch, her warmth… I hadn't imagined it all, had I?

"I'm sorry Falin, but you must forget about it, it was just a dream." He murmured, stroking back a lock of my hair. I smiled at his touch. The one thing of familiarity. The one constant reminder. Yes, this had to be real. Father had to be real. He was too constant and unchanging to be just a dream. And yet… Phaen, she had _felt_ so real…

I sighed, nodding. I'd have trouble accepting it, but I knew that my mind would confuse itself again, and that at one point or another, I'd find myself convinced once again that one of my dreams was reality. I could never really be sure.

**POV: Severus Snape**

I sighed, stroking back a lock of hair from my son's face once more before I had to leave, the next class was starting soon. It was heartbreaking, seeing him there, tied to the bed like some kind of animal, hearing him rave on about some dream or another he perceived to be reality. It hurt me deeply that he thought I was just a dream. That I wasn't real enough to him to convince him that reality wasn't a nightmare.

I sighed and pushed thoughts of him away, allowing my mind to go blank, my expression to harden. Throughout the entire first class of the day, I ended up giving five Gryffindor's detention, two Ravenclaw's lost fifty house points each, and six Slytherin's had to be sent to the hospital wing due to the Gryffindor's stupidity. All in all, it was a normal day.

"Mister Weasley, keep your ingredients in check, we are, in point of reality working with volatile ingredients today, however you are able to make nonvolatile ingredients erratic is beyond my reasoning." I growled as he set up his cauldron. The boy turned a bright pink as the Slytherin's snickered at him. "Today we will be making an aging potion, it may be a bit past your 'level of expertise'," I rolled my eyes at that. "but then, I don't expect any of you to actually get it right."

I knew my son would have perfected the potion right away, it was a shame he was in the hospital wing. No, I couldn't think about that, I had to concentrate on the students I had. "Turn to page ten." I grumbled, hating being forced to growl out low numbers for the first half of the school year.

"Miss Granger, you will be assisting mister Perem today." I drawled, glaring at the Slytherin boy as he made a face at me. "I don't want him to poison any more of my students." I growled, sending a glare his way. He hadn't taken potions the year before, as he'd been banned at my request from it. This year, he was –regrettably- allowed back in.

Granger's face turned red as she glanced across the room. "Do I have to?" She whined.

"Yes, you _will_, or I will revoke your homework privileges." I had learned in the two years prior that assigning extra homework to her as a punishment was not a punishment in itself but almost a reward. Her face paled and she quickly gathered her things and moved over to the Slytherin half, where Stecks was forced to move over and take the seat she'd evicted on the Gryffindor side.

Weasley, who now had to share a table with Stecks, raised his hand. I rolled my eyes to the heavens for a brief moment before nodding stiffly in his direction. "Sir, may I switch as well?" He asked.

"No, I need Stecks to keep an eye on _you _since Granger is preoccupied at the moment." I replied.

Weasley furrowed his brow. "Keep an eye on me, why?" He asked.

_"Because_, mister Weasley," I began in a tone that clearly said I questioned his mental capacity. "I, nor anyone else in this class wish to _die _in a fiery explosion!" I snapped. "Open your books!" I swept to the front of the classroom, my eyes scanning the room for anyone who dared not obey.

Granger raised her hand again and I nearly sighed, mentally preparing myself for something impeccably long-winded. I would have simply ignored her had my mind fully been in place that day. "Yes, miss Granger, what is it?" I asked.

"Professor, this potion is highly experimental, and it's not even in our books, why are we doing it?" She asked.

I stared at her with a bored expression for a moment before completely ignoring the question and turning back to the board, writing the list of ingredients on it. "As I have said before," I began, not looking back as I continued carelessly scribbling the ingredients down, hearing the students behind me hastily collecting the proper ingredients as I listed them. "I don't believe any of you are capable of completing this task, a shameful waste of ingredients if you ask me, but the Headmaster suggested I teach it to you anyway, and I do not question his motives, however odd they are." I turned back to the class, folding my hands neatly in front of me, leaning against my desk as my midnight black eyes searched the students as they worked.

"You may begin."

The first mishap came from the Slytherin half of the room, where Litlley's cauldron began melting. I stopped it with a quick swish of my wand and instructed her to get a new cauldron and begin again. The second mishap was a small explosion from Longbottom's cauldron, but not enough of one to cause any damage. I flicked my wand and the potion inside was gone. "Begin again, Longbottom." I growled, somewhat pleased at his failure, however mourning the pitiful waste of potions ingredients.

The third mishap came from the Slytherin side. It started as an odd popping sound. I raised my head, listening for a moment before swiftly moving over to Weasley's cauldron, where he was pale as a ghost, staring into the cauldron as it simmered. I pushed him back. "Are you mad, boy? Keep your face away from there in case it explodes!" I growled at him, inspecting the potion with my face a safe distance away.

I stared at it for a moment, an odd look on my face. "I can't believe your luck, mister Weasley." I ground out, turning to face him with skepticism. "I dare say you have done a perfect job." I glowered at him for a moment.

He was staring at me with wide eyes. "R-really, sir?" He stuttered. At least he was having as much trouble believing it as I, however I was still convinced Stecks had assisted him, for reasons unknown.

I was about to move away when another pop caught my attention. I furrowed my brow and leaned forward slightly to inspect it again when there was a flash of red and I was suddenly covered in something scolding hot. I let out a startled cry, my grip on a textbook I had been holding failing and causing it to fall to the floor. My ears were able to pick up dull sounds of startled gasps and a few 'are you okay?!'s.

I felt the potion burning into my skin and I let out a pained cry, trying to shake it off, all sense of reason leaving my mind. I stumbled back, feeling slightly dazed. "Professor! Professor, are you alright? Hold still!" I barely processed the words as I felt an odd tingling sensation that accompanied the relentless burning. I felt something soft wiping frantically at my face as I kept my eyes firmly shut to avoid any of the potion getting into them.

"Get—get Madam Pomfrey." I managed to gasp before my mind went totally blank.

**POV: Hermione Granger**

I stooped beside the still form of professor Snape as Draco Malfoy and Jordan Stecks raced to the hospital wing. "Oh my god," Ron ran his hands frantically through his hair, staring down at Snape. "I've killed him, I killed the potions professor!" He shrieked.

"He's not dead, Ron!" I cried. "Harry, get everyone to turn off their flames, we don't need any more explosions, Ron, keep the other students clear, make sure there's a clear path for Madam Pomfrey when she arrives." I told them and they both moved off to obey. I turned back to the potions professor, who lay on the floor, his head and shoulders slumped against the side of his desk.

I swallowed hard and continued carefully dabbing the potion off his face with a cloth meant for wiping your hands. I furrowed my brow in concern, seeing how red the skin was underneath, as if it were severely burned from the scolding hot potion. I blinked, startled when I saw something odd… it was, as if his skin were shimmering, and rippling, as if there was something… crawling under his skin.

I jumped, startled when I was pushed out of the way by Madam Pomfrey, who hurriedly levitated Snape onto a conjured stretcher and quickly left the room, shouting for everyone to get out of her way, him levitating behind her. I stared after them for a moment, hearing Madam Pomfrey's voice echoing down the halls as she grew further and further away, still yelling for students to 'bloody move!'

Ron and Harry came up beside me, also staring after them. Ron pulled at his hair again, whimpering. "I'm so dead." He fretted, actually tearing up. I sighed, not able to argue with him, so instead, began cleaning up.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

"Madam Pomfrey! Madam Pomfrey! Hurry! It's an emergency! Professor Snape's hurt!" Draco and Stecks screamed in unison after bursting into the hospital wing, which had been, for several long hours before their arrival, utterly silent, only adding to the pulse of shock that went through my body when the room was suddenly filled with the sound of doors being thrust open and loud voices echoing through the otherwise silent room.

Madam Pomfrey reacted instantly, grabbing her skirts so she could run, following Stecks who immediately raced off, heading, presumably, for the dungeons. I pulled frantically against my restraints. "Draco! My father, is he alright? What happened?" I pleaded as he came up to me, worry lining his face.

"I have no idea, honestly, Falin. Weasley's cauldron exploded right into your father's face…" I winced at this, looking away and fighting back tears. It only just then dawned on Draco that I was tied to the bed like some kind of lunatic at an institute. He walked awkwardly over and fiddled with the strap that held my left wrist down, glancing at the ones on my ankles and other wrist.

"Um, Falin? Why are you tied down…?" He asked, his eyes roaming back up to me.

I sighed, staring at the ceiling, not daring to look him in the eye. "The next stage is coming, the eighth stage." I whispered. "I was found on the floor in the girls dorm this morning… uhh…" I swallowed, feeling incredibly awkward. I coughed, trying to cover my words and making them run together so Draco couldn't understand them.

"Sorry, didn't catch that?" He gave me an odd look.

"I, mayhavebeennaked." I mumbled again, my words spilling out fast. Draco pondered me for a moment, then shook his head helplessly. I sighed, rolling my eyes. "I was bloody naked, okay? So father just wants me to stay here until he finds a bloody potion to help." I snapped.

Much to my annoyance, Draco was giving me an amused grin. "Naked in the girls dorms, Falin? How desperate are you?" He chided playfully. I glared at him, about to retort when the doors burst open for the second time that day, Madam Pomfrey levitating a stretcher into the room.

I fought mightily against my restraints, painfully twisting my neck, shoulders and arms as I tried to get a good look at him, but Madam Pomfrey had him behind a closed curtain before I could. I coughed and let myself fall back onto the bed again. I glanced at Draco nervously as I heard her bustling about behind the curtain, along with the sound of material being torn and spells being cast.

I fidgeted on the bed, flexing my hands in the cuffs and wondering if I could break them if I really, really tried…. Suddenly, I heard what sounded like an odd, 'flashing' sound and a gasp. Madam Pomfrey burst out of the curtain and went straight to the fireplace, grabbing a handful of floo powder and throwing it in.

"Albus! Minerva, come to the Hospital Wing, quickly now! It's an emergency!" The urgent way she spoke made me fight the bonds with more conviction.

"What the hell is going on?! Is he okay!? FATHER!" I screamed, writhing. Madam Pomfrey only spared me a quick glance before ducking back inside the curtain. At that moment, Dumbledore and Professor MacGonagal came in, looking worried.

"What is it, Poppy?" MacGonagal asked in her thick Irish accent, thickened greatly by the obvious nervousness with which she spoke.

"Yes, Poppy, what's the matter?" Dumbledore asked, his twinkle gone and replace with a worried glint.

"Come take a look at this." She invited, looking flustered, and I, once again, struggled against the straps.

"Tell me what the hell is wrong with him! Let me go!" This time, I wasn't so much as cast a withering glance before they entered the curtain. I heard a gasp from MacGonagal and a stunned silence from Dumbledore.

"What… happened?"

**AN: Dun Dunn DUNNNNNNNNN! What happened to Snape? Our darling Sevie-kins! OH NO! I promise to tell you in the next chapter if you're a good little doggie and review! (hint hint) ;)**


	52. Year 3: Chapter 6

**Chapter six:**

**The Effects of the Potion**

**POV: Severus Snape**

I blinked open my eyes, my head fuzzy and groggy. I looked around quietly to see fuzzy shapes that I only had to blink a few times to recognize as Poppy, Minerva and Albus…

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, then winced when the skin on my face felt as if it were stiff and dry, like it had been burnt to a crisp. I cringed, trying to move, but searing pain shot through me. "Severus, just be still." Poppy told me, gently resting a hand on my shoulder. I flinched when her hand touched bare skin.

I looked down to see the pale flesh of a young chest. I blinked, feeling like I looked thinner than last time, as in… smaller. I blinked in confusion and looked around groggily. "Severus? Can you hear me?" I stared at the old man before me, groping for a name that I had previously fitted to him.

Professor Dumbledore. Right? "Professor?" I asked, and my voice didn't sound like my own. He stared at me with his bright blue eyes full of concern, and at the moment, not twinkling. Albus' eyes stopped twinkling every time hell froze over. Which was never. I blinked again, looking up at Poppy as she stood over me.

"What happened?" I asked, shifting, very much feeling like the shoes and trousers I still wore were much too big. Had I lost weight? I shifted again. "Please, what happened?" I begged as I stared at them with wide eyes, while they stared back in shock.

"You don't remember?" Professor MacGonagal whispered. I shook my head stiffly, finding it very hard to do.

"Good lord, what are we going to do, Albus?" MacGonagal pleaded, grabbing at the headmaster's arm.

"I don't know. In the mean time, Poppy, fix up his burns, they look rather serious, and… Minerva, kindly borrow some clothes from one of the students to fit him?" He glanced at me warily before moving out, leaving MacGonagal and Madam Pomfrey standing over me, both with worried faces.

"In the name of god, what the hell happened?" I demanded, feeling the pain of my skin stretching as my mouth moved. Madam Pomfrey sighed, moving over to me and conjuring a mirror with the flick of her wand and holding it up to my face. I stared in horror at the reflection I saw.

A twelve year old boy!

**POV: Minerva MacGonagal**

"What in the name of the fiery blazes of _hell_ happened? Why do I look like that? For the love of _god, _Minerva, what the bloody hell happened to me?" Severus cried, frantically waving his arms around after sitting bolt upright, a look of horror claiming his face.

I sighed at the distressed potions master, having never seen the normally composed man behave this way before made all my confidence drain. "I don't know, Severus, I wasn't there. Apparently, there was some sort of accident in the potions classroom." I told him quietly after conjuring some clothes that should fit the now small boy. He was incredibly small, however his face held a mature look to it that could be no younger than twelve, and his resemblance to Falin was unmistakable. In fact, he could easily pass for the boy if he were smaller, thinner, several shades paler and with a sickly look to his features…

"Here." I set the clothes on the edge of the bed. "Put them on after Poppy finishes with your wounds." I instructed him. "And then we'll see about figuring this out."

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"We were working on aging potions… professor Snape said they were too complex for us to be able to make properly, but the headmaster insisted he teach them anyway. Weasley's cauldron exploded, and Snape just sort of… fell over." I explained haltingly to professor MacGonagal after she had come out of the curtain, looking very pale.

"Thank you, mister Malfoy." She told me absently, her eyes locked on Falin as she moved around me. "Mister Snape, why are you tied to this bed?" She demanded as the boy was still frantically trying to escape.

"Father? What's wrong with him?!" He begged, now thoroughly in tears, the horrid red marks burning down his temples because he was laying back.

"Pleas calm yourself, Falin. Your father isn't in any immediate danger… however, it is rather… odd, what has happened to him." She told him, gently patting his shoulder. This did little to contain the boy, other than to allow him to stop struggling. I could see his wrists were raw from the restraints rubbing harshly against them as he had been trying to escape.

"But what happened?" He begged, his voice strained and wavering. MacGonagal sighed, glancing towards the curtain.

"You'll see soon enough." She murmured.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I strained my neck as far as it could go, staring at the curtain, waiting for it to open, my heart beating frantically in my chest and making me feel sick. I felt it jump as the curtain opened, but the only figure that came out was Madam Pomfrey. "He's changing." She murmured, stepping away.

"Please, can you let me loose for a minute?" I begged and she sighed, flicking her wand. I was off the bed in an instant, using all my self-control to not burst in on my father as he was supposedly 'changing'

I tapped my foot impatiently, unconsciously clinging to Professor MacGonagal as she was the closest person to me. Draco was standing nervously to the side, also staring and waiting. MacGonagal suddenly turned to him. "Go to your dorm." She snapped in a tone that made Draco dare not disobey. He cast one last longing stare at the curtain before leaving.

Movement caught the corner of my eye and I snapped them over to meet that of a very familiar face. My own. I felt my jaw snap open as I stared, eyes wide. "Bloody hell…" I breathed, pulling away from MacGonagal who had briefly put an arm around my shoulder to comfort me. I moved over to stand in front of the nervous looking boy who had my face.

Abruptly, I grabbed the front of his shirt roughly, eyes blazing. "Who the hell are you and what have you done with my father?" I shrieked, making his eyes widen. He pushed me away, fixing his shirt.

"Falin! For god's sake, boy, it's me!" He cried, his voice the mockery of my own.

I glared at him. "I don't believe you." I hissed.

I turned to Madam Pomfrey. "Where is my father? I _want _my father!" I demanded, pointedly ignoring the tall boy who looked just like me other than height. He was bigger than me, and looked his age, whereas I looked _half_ my age.

"Falin, that _is _your father." She told me quietly.

I turned back to the boy, looking up at him and staring him in the eyes. His coal black gaze met mine and we had a staring match. Finally, I moved my face back some, which had become incredibly close to his. "Hold on." I told him, pulling him into a hug, making his eyes widen slightly. "It is you." I breathed, feeling the familiar warmth that was only slightly different because I suddenly found myself able to fully wrap my tiny arms around his thinner body.

I buried my face into his chest which was much closer to me now that he was shorter than he had been. He wrapped his arms around me and I once again felt the familiar warmth. I pulled back after a moment, still clinging to him, feeling rather odd that I was hugging a boy that looked to be my same age and calling him 'father'

"What happened?" I asked.

"Potions accident." MacGonagal clarified. "Apparently, you were working with a rather unstable aging potion and Weasley's exploded onto you." She continued, talking to father and I shook my head, rolling my eyes. Made sense it would be Weasley.

Father was nodding slowly. "Yes, yes I remember that now." He replied. He looked to Madam Pomfrey. "You can reverse it, right?" He almost pleaded.

She sighed, shaking her head slowly. "We can't make an antidote until we know every ingredient and portions mister Weasley used." She told me. "Chances are, though, that it will slowly wear off." She tilted her head and eyed him carefully.

Father sighed and slumped his shoulders. "Well, what do you suggest I do until then, Minerva?" He asked, making the woman look slightly taken aback at being addressed by her first name by a child.

"Just… just come with me." She murmured after a moment.

"Minerva, I really think he ought to stay here-" Madam Pomfrey began.

"Is his life at risk in any way?" MacGonagal interrupted.

"N-no…" Pomfrey replied, taken aback by her tone.

"Well then, I'll just be taking him to Dumbledore for advice." She took father's shoulder and began ushering him out of the room. I made to follow her, but was held back by Madam Pomfrey.

"Sorry, Falin, but you need to stay here." She murmured, making me lie back down. I sighed as she re-strapped me to the bed, my eyes locked on the door as the two figures disappeared out it.

**POV: Severus Snape**

"Falin! There you are, how is your father?" I jumped at the hiss and turned sharply to look at Draco Malfoy, our eyes level much to my bewilderment.

"I'm not-" I felt a sharp tap on my shoulder and winced, looking up at Minerva.

"Severus will be fine, Draco, I'm just taking Falin up to speak with Dumbledore about the matter." She replied for me, her hold on my shoulder tightening as she moved me forward at a faster pace.

She didn't stop until we were climbing the moving stairs to Albus' office. "What was that for, Minerva? Why did you let Draco think that I'm Falin?" I asked, hating that I had to look up at the woman to be able to see her face. She stared down at me, her hand still firmly clamped on my shoulder. I felt the unbearable urge to brush her hand off, but thought better of it.

"Honestly, Severus, do you want the whole school finding out about this little problem? We'll have it fixed soon enough, no one will ever have to know it happened." She told me as the door opened.

"Ah, Severus, good to see you're well." Albus was back to his old self again and the twinkle –good lord have mercy- was back in his eyes.

"Please, kindly refrain from dispensing the pleasantries, Albus, this is serious, what are we going to do?" I asked him firmly, staring up at the man whom had his sanity questioned by more than not, and I was not ashamed to admit even I questioned it on occasion. It was occasions such as this that I did.

"I already have a few trustworthy friends working on finding an antidote, Severus, there's nothing more we _can _do." He replied somberly. I sighed wearily, unconsciously leaning towards Minerva much in the same way Falin had. Anyway, it wasn't as if I could lean away from her, what with her almost painful grip still on my shoulder. Good lord, woman had a vice grip for a hand!

"Minerva, kindly escort the boy to the Slytherin common room and have him wait there." Albus told her.

I gaped at him. "What do you bloody mean 'the boy'?! I'm not a child, Albus!" I cried as Minerva physically turned me around and began pushing me for the door. I caught one last glance of Albus' damned-to-hell twinkle before I was pushed out the door.

**AN: hehe, I knew you'd like this! Please let me know if I be right? What happens next? SPECULATIONS!**


	53. Year 3: chapter 7

**Chapter seven:**

**Twin; Odd Behavior**

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

"So, not only do you have five sisters I didn't know about, but you also have a bloody twin?" Draco hissed, eyeing father as he sat next to me in the common room. Madam Pomfrey had let me go after giving me my medicine that had finally finished brewing.

I glanced up from the homework I was doing. "Sorry, I didn't tell you?" I offered as I glanced uncertainly at my father, who's expression was unreadable, but somewhat resembled mild contemplative thought. He had told me that should anyone ask, he was my twin brother. I had asked why, but he'd been brief in his reply.

"What's your name?" Draco asked warily, eyeing my father carefully.

"Tynan." He replied quietly, staring at the floor uncomfortably. I flinched, shooting him a glare. _Tynan? Really?_

He just shrugged and stared at the floor. I let out an exasperated sigh. "Yep. Tynan." I grumbled, also staring at the floor, my shoulder pressed up tightly against 'Tynans'.

"_Merlin, _Falin, does your father even _know _how to keep his stuff in his pants?!" Draco erupted. I glared at him, rolling my eyes, but said nothing, feeling Father tense up next to me.

"Hey Cerenbus! Come here!" I looked up at the voice, glancing around before I spotted Stecks, Molohov and Perem. I narrowed my eyes, but excused myself from them and moved reluctantly over.

"Yes?" I asked warily as I came closer.

"Come on, let's hang out." Stecks invited, grinning at me. I narrowed my eyes, glancing over at Draco, whom seemed to be trying to pry answers out of father, whom was only giving him little one-worded responses.

I sighed, then shrugged. "Okay." I replied, ignoring his wide grin and going against my better judgment as I followed him.

"Come on." He glared at Perem and Molohov until they left, shaking their heads. I followed the sandy brown haired boy up to the dorms, where he plopped down on his bed. "So," He began, stuffing a hand into his bag and pulling out some candy, then proceeding to stuff it into his mouth.

"Who's that new kid you're with? He your brother?" he asked, his mouth full.

I nodded stiffly. "Look, Stecks. If the whole reasoning behind your being nice to me is to get gossip information, I'm not giving you any…" I began and he waved it off.

"No way. Sit down." He offered, scooting over some, but I remained standing and he just shrugged.

"So what happened to your dad? Is he okay?" He asked with genuine curiosity behind his voice, but I wasn't sure about sincere concern.

"I would love to enlighten you, but I'm not in the mood." I replied sullenly. He laughed and stood, moving over to stand closer to me than I was comfortable with.

"You look like an angel. Tell me, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" he whispered, raising a hand to brush at my cheek and flinching slightly when his finger met my ice cold skin.

"Did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?" I shot right back and he laughed.

"You're so gay." He murmured, still much too close for my liking and it suddenly struck me why he was suddenly so attracted to me. Sick, gay pervert!

"You wish I was." I replied with a smile. "Believe me, I've been called worse by better." I added, and with that, I turned to go but he caught my wrist and pulled me back. I glared at him, trying to twist my wrist out of his hold, but found he easily over-powered me.

"If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty." I told him dryly, glaring at him. He could go from bullying, to friendly, to flirtatious in a mere second. It was disturbing, and he kind of reminded me of Orl Schond. I felt myself freeze at that thought, but pushed it away, not wanting to lose concentration. It was like he had duel personalities, much like my own. Only his varied much more.

"Merlin! Did you wake up on the wrong side of the coffin this morning?" he grinned at me, not relenting on his angry grip on my wrist.

"Oh love, you're rich, go buy a personality, and a better comeback than that." I replied, smiling insincerely, briefly raising a cold hand to brush at his cheek before slapping it lightly. "Now kindly release me." I told him, grasping at his fingers and trying to pry them off. He wouldn't let go, so I decided to try a different approach. After all, if you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em!

I smiled at him, staring up into his steel gray eyes. "You know what I would find if I looked up 'idiot' in a dictionary?" I asked.

"A picture of you?" He gave me a sly grin, feeling very much like he'd won the argument.

"No, stupid, the definition of idiot. That's what a dictionary's for. Honestly, don't you know anything?" I replied, giving him a scolding look.

He furrowed his brow, glaring at me. "Don't insult me, you stupid little-" he began, but I cut him off.

"No, no, I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you." I assured him, patting his shoulder, all the while twisting my wrist every which way, but his grip was relentless.

He narrowed his eyes at me until they were slits. "Don't patronize me." He growled and I merely shrugged, still trying to break free, all the while distracting him by keeping his eyes locked on mine.

A sudden idea popped into my head and I pulled my free hand up to smooth it down his cheek, moving closer so that our noses were inches apart. "When I look into your eyes…." I breathed, staring deep into his silver pools as they widened and he leaned closer as well. "I see, right straight through to the back of your head." I continued. He had momentarily loosened his grip on my wrist long enough for me to slip out it without him noticing.

He narrowed his eyes again, glaring. "No, get back here!" He called, but I was already halfway down the stairs, grinning smugly.

_Owned._ I thought happily.

"Don't know what your problem is… but I bet it's hard to pronounce." I stopped long enough to sneer before going all the way down.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I stared after Falin for a moment, then turned back to Tynan and sighed. "So, where were you at the family reunion?" I asked.

"Hate family reunions." He grunted. I blinked, not able to fault him for that, I hated them too. I glanced back up and Falin was disappearing up the stairs with Stecks. I sighed and hoped there were others up there so they wouldn't be totally alone. I vowed to go check on him in a few minutes

"Yes, but where were you?" I pressed.

He shifted, staring at his lap. "Girlfriend's house." He replied after a moment's contemplation, as if he were trying to decide whether or not to tell me. I blinked. Lucky git!

I sighed wearily. "So, any other family members I should know about? More brothers? More sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts, mothers, fathers…?" I grumbled.

"No." He replied flatly. Well damn, he was worse than Falin had been when I'd first met him.

I sighed again. "So, your reason for not coming to Hogwarts any sooner than now is what…?" I asked. He didn't reply for a long moment.

He was silent for a long time again. "Couldn't. I'm a squib." He finally growled and I felt a flash of instant dislike for him, even though the distaste had been there since I'd first met him.

I muttered a few choice names under my breath, all of which I made sure he could hear. If he did, he made no indication of it. "Don't know what your problem is… but I bet it's hard to pronounce." I heard, then looked up to see Falin coming back down, a smug look on his face.

He sighed contentedly as he plopped down next to his brother, a smile spread over his face. "Well, what did Jekyll and Hyde want?" I asked expectantly and Falin let out an amused snort.

"He's a gay bastard." He muttered, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes, slumping in the seat. I stared at the two boys as they sat in virtually the same position, similar expressions on their faces. Crap, they _were _twins!

"Gross, he wanted you?" I laughed, shaking my head and glancing in the direction of Stecks' friends.

"Yeah, it was disgusting." He rolled his eyes again. Tynan turned and stared at his brother, who's face flushed. "Don't worry, he's been handled." Falin grumbled, looking away. Tynan let out an exasperated sigh and slumped even further into his seat.

"So… since you're a squib, how come they let you into Hogwarts?" I asked and Falin flashed a glance at Tynan, who gave his brother a barely perceptible shake of the head, and they locked black eyes, both glaring. Tynan cleared his throat. "Heard father was ill, came to check on him." He replied gruffly.

"So basically, you don't give a damn about your family reunion, and apparently your family doesn't give a damn about you enough to tell me about you but you suddenly show up because of a little potions accident?" I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" He challenged and I shook my head slowly.

At that moment, Stecks chose to come downstairs and come over to us. Falin groaned and rolled his eyes, putting an arm out to stop Tynan from moving. "I got this." He murmured, standing.

"Hey Falin." Stecks smiled at the pale boy dreamily, making my bones shiver.

"I like your approach, now let's see your departure." Falin replied on the draw. I snickered, but Stecks seemed unfazed.

"Come on, let's go up to my bed." He murmured, moving closer to Falin, who took a step back.

"Ho, stop right there, if I throw a stick, will you leave?" He made a disgusted face and put out his hand to hold Stecks an arm's length away.

"Honestly, Stecks, I never thought you the gay type." I muttered, shaking my head.

"Yeah, I am. And it's time for the whole of Slytherin to know." He pushed away Falin's arm and put his arms around the pale boy's waist, moving to the center of the room and whistling loudly to get everyone's attention. Falin just stood there uncomfortably, making no attempt to break free.

"ATTENTION EVERYONE! Thank you. I would like to announce my undying love for Falin Cerenbus. May we forever be together as one." He smirked, eying the other students. Most of them burst into laughter, others gave the fox whistle, others shook their heads in disgust and turned back to what they were doing. Some even came forward and congratulated Falin and Stecks.

Falin rolled his eyes and pushed Stecks' arms away. "I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public." He grumbled, moving back over to sit down beside Tynan, who looked mildly interested in his surroundings, watching his brother closely, as if measuring how he handled the situation.

Stecks' shoulders slumped and he stalked away, grumbling angrily at his friends.

I grinned, deciding to tease Falin about it. "Well, you know what they say, love is blind, and you'd have to be blind to love that git." I told him, savoring the withering look he gave me.

"Love isn't just blind; it is also deaf, mute, and stupid. And Stecks'll have to do a lot better than that for me to even consider liking him, and that's if I were actually gay." He snorted and I laughed, shaking my head and staring at the floor for a moment.

"Hey Miriad." I turned and saw Falin smiling shyly at Miriad, who had come into the room, looking flustered and pale, her eyes drooping as if she'd not gotten enough sleep.

Miriad turned to stare sharply at Falin, her eyes wide, going pale as if she'd just seen a ghost.

Falin's smile faded. "Miri? Are you okay…?" He began and Miriad broke away, taking off like a madwoman, charging up the stairs to the girl's dorm.

Falin stared after her, eyes wide. "What, did I grow a bloody horn or something?" He cried, feeling of his head to find it was perfectly normal.

I snorted, shaking my head. "Girls are weird." I shook my head, glaring at a random wall.

After a while of silence, I notice Falin had begun twitching oddly every few seconds, his lips moving silently. "No, no I don't think they know yet." He murmured. "But they should, why don't they know yet?" He asked himself and I furrowed my brow, staring at him. He had been acting so normal a moment ago… what was going on?

"Falin…?" I asked curiously.

Tynan turned to stare at his brother as well. "Falin, what's wrong?" He asked, his voice thick with concern.

Falin laughed and shook his head, then nodded, smiling. "No, we can't tell them, they don't know." He murmured. "Shh, don't let them hear." He whispered. "Shut up, all of you, shut up!" He muttered, beginning to bang on his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Falin! Fa-Falin, what's wrong?" Tynan demanded, jumping up and grabbing his brother's thin wrists. Falin stood wobbly to his feet, his brother towering over him even though they were obviously the same age.

Falin pulled his hands free and stared at Tynan for a moment. "No, no! YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!" He screamed, backing away in horror, his eyes wide. Everyone in the room had turned to stare.

I jumped up. "Falin, what are you talking about?" I demanded, faintly hearing an 'oh no' from Tynan's direction.

"Falin, just calm down, listen to my voice, okay? Just _my _voice." Tynan told him, holding out his hands in a peaceful gesture, all the while slowly advancing on Falin who'd backed himself into a wall and was pulling at his hair, making his sensitive scalp bleed, looking ready to either scream of burst into tears.

"NO! You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!" Falin screamed, moving along the wall quickly, Tynan trying to keep up with him, but Falin had made a break for the portrait and was out in an instant.

"Draco! Help me! He's gone into the eighth stage!" I heard Tynan scream as he followed his brother at a run.

I raced after them, ignoring the startled cries of my housemates. "No, Falin, come here, right now, Falin." I slid to a halt, staring in horror as I saw Tynan trying to coax Falin away from the edge of one of the moving staircases as it slowly slid from one platform to another, Falin staring down into the pit of black below.

Falin glanced up, then back down and the moment his eye's weren't on his brother, Tynan leapt forwards and tackled him, pulling their weight backwards with all his might. My eyes widened as they both tumbled into me, thoroughly squashing me. I let out a moan, and we all lay stunned for a moment.

Tynan broke out of the stupor first and moved to put his full weight on top of Falin, who was practically limp. Wordlessly, Tynan turned his brother onto his back and slid his arms under him, one under his back and the other slid under his knees. He lifted the tiny child with ease and began carrying him. I wondered briefly why he didn't just levitate him, then I remembered –he was a squib!

I scrambled to my feet and stumbled after them. "What the hell just happened?" I demanded quietly, noting Falin's blank expression. He was staring right at me, his eyes glazed over and not actually seeing me.

"He's gone into the eighth stage, the 'Vacant Period'" Tynan replied quietly, holding his tiny brother in his arms.

"That at first, him talking to himself, that was from the 'Post-Traumatic Stage'. He's always had voices in his head, and multiple personalities. It just kicked into overdrive right now since the eighth stage has set in. His mind wasn't able to compensate for the new problem and was overwhelmed trying." He told me solemnly, glaring at a couple Gryffindors as they stared at us.

We went into the Hospital Wing which was oddly silent, the curtain around Snape's bed was still drawn. I cast it a curious glance, but didn't dare go near it. "Poppy!" Tynan called, setting his brother down.

In an instant, Madam Pomfrey came out of her office. "Oh, Se- um, hello dear. What's wrong?" She asked, staring worriedly at Falin.

"I'm afraid he's gone into the eighth stage." Tynan whispered, running a hand through Falin's hair as the boy stared blankly up at the ceiling.

Madam Pomfrey sighed. "Poor child." She murmured, then moved and got out her injector and put it into Falin's vein. Falin didn't so much as bat an eyelid. "Alright, here's the list of new potions and medicines he'll be needing." She sighed and handed the list to Tynan, who took it and winced as he read the long list.

"Thank you, Poppy." He murmured, rereading the list. He turned to me and sighed. "Go back to your dormitory. I…" He glanced at Falin. "I'm staying here." He murmured.

I sighed and nodded, then left with one last, long stare at my best friend.

**AN: His 'twin' Tynan is just Severus in the child form, just thought you should know. Poor Falin, he's getting closer and closer to the final Stage! Please review? **


	54. Year 3: chapter 8

_**Chapter eight:**_

_**Empty Shell**_

_**POV: Severus Snape 'Tynan'**_

I sighed, staring at my reflection, pleased at least that I'd already started aging slightly. "Yes, I think it's working." I told Poppy as she stood before me, wand in hand and slowly being lowered.

"Wonderful." She told me with a sigh, putting her wand away. I put the mirror back down, hoping I'd turn back into an adult soon. I needed to be an adult for Falin.

And being a child again only brought back painful memories of my actual childhood. It was just something I didn't want to have to go through.

"Falin? How are you feeling?" I asked slowly and carefully. Falin was sitting across from me, staring at nothing, his head tilted oddly.

"Fine." He replied as if in a daze.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Fine." He repeated in the same flat, lifeless tone. I sighed and moved over to sit next to him, putting an arm around him. This was it. He'd lost his ability to express his emotions. He was nothing but an empty shell.

I sat there with him for a long time, gently holding him and stroking his head. He just sat there, entirely unresponsive, staring blankly ahead of him. I closed my eyes in grief, wondering how long he had left before the next stage kicked in. "Falin I know you can hear me." I began quietly. "And I know you understand me perfectly, but can't reply. But that's okay." I told him quietly, rubbing his head.

"It's okay Falin, you're safe. I'll protect you." I murmured, hugging him, silently despairing that I'd just made a promise I couldn't keep. How could I protect Falin from his own mind?

Falin's head fell sideways onto my shoulder at what looked like an painful angle, but he made no attempt to move it so it would be more comfortable. Falin suddenly sat up straight, clutching my hand tightly that I held his in. I straightened, looking at him. "Falin?" I murmured. His eyes never looked at me, they were staring around the room.

He moved closer to me, as if in fear, clinging to my arm. "I see dead people." He whispered, then his hand went limp in my grasp and he stared blankly ahead once again. I sighed, slumping my shoulders, knowing he'd go back and forth between unresponsive to delusional. Truthfully, I wasn't sure which of his personalities I preferred.

"Mother's home." He suddenly intoned, adding a cackle to go with it. His face went blank again. "Daddy's evil little follower…." He sang in a whisper, his face completely emotionless, his eyes wide and glazed. I swallowed hard, clutching his hand more tightly. He looked up, his head tilting back slowly. With his free hand, he shot it up to point at the ceiling.

"THAT'S WHERE I'M GOING!" He screamed, then began laughing maniacally. He laughed for a good thirty seconds, then stopped suddenly and went blank again. I stared at him in despair. "Before he died, he came down and lied, ooh, give me a song to siiiiing!" He laughed again and I squeezed my eyes shut, pulling him to me and hugging him. He almost immediately went limp.

_"_Sorry, she's dead, can I have her call you back?" He tilted his head, staring dazedly in front of him. "Who sent you? Are you my stalker?" He suddenly cried, staring at me wildly, eyes wide, pulling away from me.

"No-" I barely got the words out of my mouth before his next personality jumped in.

"Do you hear that?" He asked, tilting his head as if listening.

"Hear what?" I asked, also listening.

"Oh, never mind, it's gone now." He told me in a daze. He burst out into a fit of hysterical laughter, laughing so hard to the point where his face flushed red. He stopped so suddenly it startled me, his face going totally blank. "No." he droned.

I shuddered, hating to see him this way. "I know where you live!" He said in a demented voice. He grinned wildly, then his face went blank again and his head turned to me so slowly I barely noticed the movement until suddenly, he was staring right at me, little black eyes emptier and more hollow than I had ever seen them, as if his soul was completely gone and all that was left was an empty shell…

"Your soul is mine." He droned, his voice sounding almost demonic. I flinched as his eyes began to twist and go in completely different directions, his face twisting into a demonic grin. "Your soul is mine." He said again, this time adding a demonic cackle at the end.

His whole body suddenly tensed up and went rigid, his eyes widening in horror. "No mother! It hurts!" he shrieked, writhing. I put my arms around him but found that in my weakened state my strength alone was not enough to hold him. At that moment, Poppy walked in.

"Is the serum ready yet?" I begged a second before noticing the injector in her hand.

"Hold him still." She informed me. It was a wild struggle, but I soon had him pinned to the bed, my main focus in keeping his arm still. I leaned my forearm against his chest, hoping I wasn't hurting him too badly while my free hand pinned down his arm long enough for Poppy to inject him.

"Will it do _anything _to retrieve his mind?" I pleaded, watching as he grew still once again and slipped back into his daze, staring blindly ahead.

"I'm afraid not. The only thing that will help him now is constant help. You can_not _leave him, Severus. Not even for a moment." She told me seriously. "I've been doing my research on this illness of his, and it seems the eighth stage is one of the worst." She informed me.

I nodded slowly, looking down at my hands and inspecting the unfamiliar youth to them. I had been young before the potion accident, of course, but losing a good twenty years was indeed leaving a mark. I sighed. "They say everything happens for a reason. I'm beginning to believe that theory." I muttered, clenching and unclenching my fists. "I'll be able to stay with him constantly in this form." I looked back up at her and she was smiling sadly at Falin.

"You two really look alike, you know." She murmured.

I sighed, nodding. "Thank you Poppy, I'll just take him home until either my potion wears off, or he can think on his own again." I murmured, pulling the boy from the bed. "Use your legs." I told him when he was limp in my arms. He obeyed immediately, straightening and standing stock still, like a statue.

I sighed again and slipped my hand into his. "Come on."

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I walked like a zombie next to father, my hand limp in his, staring absently ahead. I felt it incredibly difficult to focus, as unhelpful thoughts kept swimming around in my head, things that had absolutely no connection to my current problem. I was finding it frustrating to no end that I could do no more than blindly follow my father's instructions, taking in only enough information to follow his orders without question as I was absent in the mind.

I stepped one foot in front of the other automatically, not blinking as my eyes were glazed and I couldn't see anything anyway. I stumbled occasionally, but made no attempt to right myself. I would have fallen to my face several times without noticing it had it not been for father's hand.

_You're useless. _I flinched at the sudden voice.

'_I know'. _I replied in my head, really not wanting to get into all that right then, as I was already struggling to keep a blank mind.

_You're stupid. _The voice wasn't about to give up that easily.

_'I know.' _I replied simply, stumbling again and barely registering the feeling of hands catching me and dragging me to my feet.

It seemed like only seconds passed by, and suddenly, we were out of the castle's wards and I felt the familiar tugging feeling brought about by apparition, and we were suddenly in our living room. A girl sat at the couch and jumped up. Her voice was familiar, but not worth focusing on, so I let my mind wander elsewhere.

After a few moments, I was pushed up to my room. Only just barely registering it as my room, I looked around with bored curiosity, my fragile mind fleetingly wondering how I had gotten there, as I was supposed to be at Hogwarts. I closed my eyes briefly to blink and I was suddenly on the bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling, not noticing two figures as they stood over me worriedly.

I closed my eyes again and I was suddenly back home. I smiled when Nyphera was before me. "Nyph." I greeted my sister and she smiled at me briefly.

"Falin." She returned, but wasn't smiling.

I frowned. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Falin, it's happening. The eighth stage." She told me quietly.

My eyes widened. "So that's what's been going on in my dreams." I murmured.

She nodded, finally smiling. "Soon your body will die in the dream and you'll finally be free from that horrible place, so you can stay here, in reality. With me." She told me, reaching out a hand. I smiled and took her hand in my own.

"I wish I could have left a long time ago." I told her quietly.

"Don't worry. You'll be here soon enough."

**AN: So, again, the last part with Nyphera? That is his mind playing tricks on him again. My poor Falin. Speculations! And also, after the end of this story, should I post the Prequel or the Sequel? You decide! There's a poll on my page, go check it out!**


	55. Year 3: chapter 9

**Chapter nine:**

**The Vacant Period**

**POV: Annenia Nysisian Snape**

"Severus! Do you mind telling me why you… why you're- why…" I snapped my mouth shut, eyeing the small boy that stood before me, his eyes glinting in a challenge. I placed my hands on my hips, towering over him, my eyes stern. "Severus Snape! Why the _hell _are you a twelve year old boy?" I demanded, all my self-control finally leaving me.

Severus sighed, slumping down on the floor just outside Falin's room and putting his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Anne." He murmured, his voice sounding exactly like Falin's. "There was an accident in the potions class." He looked up at me, then seeing my expression hurried on. "But don't worry! The potion will wear off."

I narrowed my eyes before nodding and sliding next to him on the floor. We were camped outside Falin's room, as it wasn't a good idea to leave him alone when he was like this. "Okay, Severus. Now onto Falin. Has it happened?" I asked, taking on a worried tone.

He nodded somberly and I closed my eyes, feeling grief ache at my heart. "He went into the eighth stage just a few hours ago. I thought it would be prudent to bring him home." He murmured.

"You did the right thing, love." I murmured, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly. He nodded slowly, staring blankly ahead.

"I just wish, there was something more I could do! I hate feeling so helpless!" He cried, standing up abruptly and pulling at his hair. I stared up at him, my eyes roaming his features. Oh yes – he most certainly looked like Falin, especially when in distress.

"Sev', there's nothing you can do about it-" I began but he cut me off.

"Don't. Don't say it like that, Annenia, you know how many times I've heard that bloody phrase?" He physically shuddered and squeezed his eyes shut.

I sighed again, slumping my shoulders in defeat, leaning back against the wall. "How else shall I say it, Sev'? There _is _nothing more you can do." I told him and he cringed again.

"I know." He murmured after a moment of silence. He slumped down beside me and leaned into me. I felt odd, putting my arm around the small boy, feeling much like I was comforting Falin, and not my husband. I pressed my lips on his warm forehead, and for an instant, I became worried, until I remembered that it _wasn't _Falin. Falin's skin was supposed to be cold. Severus' was normal.

I sighed, smiling wryly. "You're a cute kid, you know that?" I told him mischievously, running a hand through his hair. He sent me the dirtiest look that I would have cringed under were he an adult. But now, it was just cute. I laughed again, hugging him. "My adorable little husband." I giggled, then suddenly became serious. "This is adorable, but it _will _wear off, right?" I demanded.

"Yes, Annenia, it will wear off. I've already aged some since I first was hit with the potion." He replied wearily.

I smiled again. "Great, so I get to enjoy every minute of this." I smirked, rising from the floor. He sent me another dirty look and I laughed again, ruffling his hair. "Alright, I'm going to bed squirt. You need to get to bed too." I told him, smirking as I padded down the hall and into our room, feeling his eyes follow me.

**POV: Severus Snape**

I shook my head, scowling. Bloody woman. I sighed and stood, going back into Falin's room. I froze as I opened the door to utter chaos. His bed was on its side, his dresser was tipped over and all his things were scattered across the room.

"What is the meaning of this?" I cried, walking in to see the boy standing amongst the debris, admiring it.

He turned to look at me, a blank expression on his face. "This- A pronoun or adjective used to indicate a specific person or thing close at hand." Falin replied in a monotone voice, staring at me.

I face-palmed, shaking my head. "No, Falin, _this, _what is all this? What are you doing?" I demanded wearily.

"I am re-arranging my room…. Do you like it?" He replied, his eyes scanning his messed up room.

I sighed, slowly shaking my head. "You've upturned your bed, where will you sleep?" I asked.

"Just here." He replied, moving over to his footlocker and getting inside, snuggling with one of his pillows.

I sighed again, slumping my shoulders and moving over to him, kneeling on the floor just beside the footlocker as he curled up inside it, completely serious about sleeping in it. I snatched his other pillow from the floor and set it down, resting my own head upon it and staring blindly up at the ceiling.

Finally, unable to sleep, I sat up in the darkness and pulled out my wand, and, in a flick of it, brought Mirianda's book to me. I grabbed a blanket and threw it over my head so Falin wouldn't awaken at the glow of my wand as I lit it up and opened the book. My finger traced the index until it stopped at 'The Vacant Period, page 612'

I sighed and opened the heavy book, flipping until I reached the Vacant Period. My eyes widened at how many pages Mirianda had written on it. I began to read.

**Stage eight: The Vacant Period. –The Vacant Period is very similar to the muggle mental disorder Paranoid Schizophrenia. Characterized by a breakdown of thought processes and by a deficit of typical emotional responses. Common symptoms are delusions and disorganized thinking including auditory, paranoia, bizarre delusions, disorganized speech, and it is accompanied by significant social or occupational dysfunction. The Vacant Period- **

I widened my eyes, blinking rapidly and shaking my head before I went forward a few pages and began reading again.

**Another side-effect is a certain vacancy of the mind, giving the stage its name. The victim will not be able to maintain eye contact, or uphold conversation, and will instead change long-winded answers into one-worded replies. Can be very unreliable during this stage. Though the seeming incompetence only lasts about a month, the 'vacancy' will remain, such as the inability to hold eye contact or converse normally, as well as the paranoia and unpredictability. **

**A person diagnosed with Mooney Madness, after they hit the Vacant Period may experience hallucinations (most reported are hearing voices), delusions (often bizarre or persecutory in nature), and disorganized thinking and speech. The latter may range from loss of train of thought, to sentences only loosely connected in meaning, to incoherence known as 'word salad'in severe cases. Social withdrawal, sloppiness of dress and hygiene, and loss of motivation and judgment are all common in the Vacant Period. There is often an observable pattern of emotional difficulty, for example lack of responsiveness-**

I rubbed my eyes tiredly before I flipped a few more pages anf began reading again.

**In one uncommon subtype, the person may be largely mute, remain motionless in bizarre postures, or exhibit purposeless agitation, all signs of catatonia. (abnormality of movement and behavior arising from a disturbed mental state (typically Mooney Madness). It may involve repetitive or purposeless over activity, or catalepsy, (a medical condition characterized by a trance or seizure with a loss of sensation and consciousness accompanied by rigidity of the body.) resistance to passive movement, and negativism. After hitting the Vacant Period, victims often find facial emotion perception to be difficult.**

**Victim will sometimes hold rigid poses for hours and will ignore any external stimuli. Victim may also show stereotyped, repetitive movements. They may show specific types of movement such as waxy flexibility, in which they maintain positions after being placed in them through someone else in which they resist movement in proportion to the force applied by the examiner. They may repeat meaningless phrases or speak only to repeat what the examiner says.**

I sighed, leaning my head back and rubbing my sore eyes once again. I blinked several times, my eyes dry from staring at the page for hours in the dim glow of my wand. I flipped the pages again and read some more, picking up on a random line.

** -and there is also loss of patterns of thoughts, feelings and activities. Additional mental and behavioral problems often affect the victim, and may influence quality of life, caregivers, and the need for institutionalization. As the Stage worsens individuals may neglect themselves and may become uninhibited or become incontinent of movements and/or speech. Behavior may be disorganized, restless or inappropriate. Some victims become restless or wander about by day and sometimes at night. When victims are put in circumstances beyond their abilities, there may be a sudden change to tears or anger (a****_ "catastrophic reaction"_****) A common symptom of the Vacant Period for Mooney Madness sufferers to deny that relatives, even relatives in their immediate family, are their own relations.**

I sighed wearily, closing the book and pulling the blanket from my head, taking in a sharp breath of the fresh, cold air of Falin's room. I snuggled myself up under the blanket further to warm myself, as Falin's room was simply freezing. I closed my eyes after a while and fell asleep.

**AN: As you can see, I've done a lot of research on mental disorders, and put a lot of time into this particular Stage of the Madness. This Stage is based off of the real-life mental disease known as Paranoid Schizophrenia, which is a simply dreadful thing. I completely take it seriously, as I have an aunt that has it and it's terrible. I'm not at all mocking it in any way, please don't take it that way. I don't think any of you will… but I just wanted to throw that out there. Please review? Speculations/praise/constructive criticism all accepted!**


	56. Year 3: Chapter 10

**Chapter ten:**

**Hopeful Dreams**

**POV: Severus Snape**

"Sev', Severus! God, man, wake up!" I was rudely awaken by a persistent hissing and shaking. I blearily opened my eyes and was instantly blinded by Annenia shining a light in my eyes.

"Bloody hell, woman, what do you want?" I hissed, shielding my eyes. It was two months later, and I was still a bloody child, having only aged about a year or so, nothing noticeable, and Falin was still recovering from the Vacant Period, having not fully regained his mind yet.

"Severus, it's Mirianda, she's gone into labor." Annenia hissed urgently. _That _woke me up. I shot off the floor, grateful I hadn't removed my shoes or any of my clothing as it was too cold in Falin's room to do something so stupid.

I rushed out of the room, down the hall to Mirianda's room, where the door was open and the light was on, Mirianda was sitting up, her eyes squeezed shut, her face scrunched up as she moaned in pain. "Mirianda." I went straight to my daughter's side, eyes wide with worry.

"Falin? Where's dad-AH!" Her question was cut off by a squeak of pain. She seemed so disoriented that she'd completely forgotten about my potions accident.

**[1] **"Never mind, let's get you to Saint Athynan's." I told her, helping her stand. I took her arm and apparated in a cloud of black smoke and we stood suddenly in the lobby.

"Floria!" I cried, helping my daughter over to the desk. Floria's eyes widened and she instantly summoned a stretcher and I levitated Mirianda onto it, Floria took her from there to the back room. A few minutes later, she came back, eyes wide.

"Good lord, Falin, I didn't know your sister was pregnant!" She cried. "Your father's been in here a few times in the past nine months and he's said nothing about it!"

I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut and leaning apprehensively against the desk, leaning my forehead there too. I was too worried about Mirianda to get into simple chat.

"Falin? Are you alright, sweetie?" She asked, suddenly right beside me, resting a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine, Floria, I want to know if my child is alright!" I snapped, staring up at her defiantly, my body rigid with worry for my daughter and her child.

Floria flinched, quickly drawing her hand away, her eyes wide, obviously taking my words to a completely different level and I inwardly groaned. "You- you're fathering her child-" She stuttered, eyes growing even wider. I made a face at her, somewhat between amusement and disgust, rolling my eyes and turning back towards the room she'd disappeared in, my face scrunching up further in worry.

Floria moved back to sit down and I felt her wary gaze flicking to me every so often but I ignored it, chewing on my lip in frustration, a habit I had given up _years _ago, but seemed to have taken it back up as a child.

"Please, may I be with her?" I finally begged, unable to take the peaceful silence any more.

She sighed before casting a quick sanitation spell over me and letting me in. I hurried through the door and back to help comfort my daughter as she fought for a new life to be brought into the world.

**POV: Annenia Nysisian Snape**

"Shh, honey, just keep your eyes closed and pray with mommy." I murmured to Serenia as she squirmed in my arms. I continued whispering in prayer, squeezing Serenia's hand in one and Falin's in the other as we sat in silence. Both children were fidgety and kept making little noises.

"Lord, let both the child and mother get through this ordeal unharmed, let the child be healthy and strong-" I continued quietly. Several hours passed, and both Falin and Serenia had fallen asleep when Severus apparated back into the living room where we'd seated ourselves.

I looked up to see he was a few years older than he'd been, and he had an odd look on his face.

"Severus!" I jumped up, startling the children awake. "Are they alright? What happened?!" I demanded.

"They're both fine. Healthy baby girl." He murmured and I sighed with relief.

"Then why aren't you happy?" I snapped after a moment of watching him slowly trudge over to the couch and plop down, staring blankly ahead.

He shook his head slowly. "Still trying to grasp the concept of being a grandfather." He murmured.

I sighed, nodding.

"Why is there two Fawins?" Serenia's voice cut in, staring from Falin to Severus and back again, then looking at me with wide eyes.

I smiled at the little girl. "That's daddy." I pointed to Severus and the tiny child scrunched up her nose.

"But dat's Fawin, and _dats _Fawin too." She protested and I sighed. We'd been having this argument since Falin and Severus had gotten back from Hogwarts two months ago. It was starting to get annoying.

"Just go back to sleep honey." I told her and she obeyed. I eyed Severus for a moment. "I think apparating makes you age more." I decided after a moment.

"Huh? Really?" He looked into the nearest mirror, as there was one on the mantel behind him. "Oh, I think you're right. Great, Annenia, now I know what to do. That's odd though…" His voice only sounded half interested, as his mind and heart was probably still back at the hospital with his daughter and granddaughter.

"What did she name the child?" I asked after a moment of silence.

"Jaybin Dynil…. Hopeful Dreams."

**POV: Mirianda Perios Snape**

I smiled, tears of weak relief in my eyes as I stared down at my beautiful daughter. She was so precious, so perfect, so beautiful. She looked so much like her father, as her wispy curls were a dark brown like his, unlike my own jet black stick straight hair. She was so perfect, so beautiful. And praise god, perfectly healthy.

I smiled and kissed her little pink head and she cooed, moving a little at the feel of her mother's touch. "My Hopeful Dream… you're just what I need right now." I murmured, cradling the small bundle.

I looked up when the door opened softly and a very anxious looking Koteis Maburdan came in, eyes wide. "I came as fast as I could when I heard the news." in his thick Irish accent, his voice thick and breathless, either from running or working himself into a panic.

I smiled at the brown-haired man and beaconed him forward. He took a few careful steps, then came all the way over, staring at the bundle in my arms. A small smile lit up his features as he stared at his child. He raised a hand and delicately stroked it down her little cheek.

"She's beautiful." He whispered, resting his other hand protectively on my shoulder. I nodded. "What's her name?" he asked after a moment of staring, transfixed by the tiny life before him.

"Jaybin Dynil Maburdan." I whispered, also staring. I looked up when I felt his eyes on me. They were wide and disbelieving as he'd heard his last name placed.

"You mean, you mean you accept-" He choked, staring at me with tears in his eyes. I nodded, also wiping tears from my own eyes.

"When I turn eighteen, I will marry you. I will." I told him, smiling through the tears of joy in my eyes.

A wide smile found its way to his face and he came forward and kissed me, then leaned down and gently kissed his daughter's tiny pink forehead. I smiled, laughing through the tears as we sat there and held each other, our child in our hands, and our bright future ahead of us.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I stared at father's shoulder, my head tilted at an odd angle to avoid eye contact.

"So, when can I go back to Hogwarts?" I slurred, moving my gaze to his other shoulder and tipping my head to the other side.

"When you are fully well again." He replied gently.

I made a face, not liking his answer. "But I want to go back now!" I cried, moving my gaze down to his knees and tipping my head back slightly, my eyes crossing. I shook my head and opened my eyes and they were normal again.

"I'm sorry, Falin, but you can't go back until you are fully well again." Father replied.

I sighed and nodded. "Yes father." I mumbled.

"See? There's a good attitude, you're getting better already. Keep it up, son." He told me, patting my shoulder and I brightened up a bit.

I thought for a while. "Wur… where is Miria?" I asked after a moment of looking around with mild interest.

"She's in the hospital, remember? She just had her child last night." He replied quietly. I wanted to look up to see his expression, but I kept my gaze at his knees.

"Oh. What'd she name it?" I asked, flicking my gaze up to the ceiling and tipping my head to the other side.

"She named _her _Jaybin Dynel, remember?" He asked.

"Oh." I stared at the floor, my head moving from side to side. "Okay. Goodnight father." I lay down on the floor and closed my eyes.

**POV: Severus Snape**

I stared down at my son as he slept, my heart aching. He was recovering, albeit slowly, I knew he'd never be the same boy he'd been before the eighth stage had hit him.

I sighed and gently pushed back a lock of his hair, affectionately smoothing my hand down his cold cheek as I watched his sleeping face twitch. I slid my arms under him and gently raised him up onto the couch. I stared at him a moment longer, then remembered the meaning of the name Mirianda's child had been given. "Hopeful Dreams, Falin." I murmured before sitting down next to him and falling asleep.

**AN: [1] I don't know if it's safe apparating a pregnant woman, but for the sake of the story, we'll just leave it alone. SPECULATIONS!**


	57. Year 3: chapter 11

**Chapter eleven:**

**Hippogriff; Back Again**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

It had been three months since Falin, Tynan and their father had been gone. It was announced that professor Snape had been sent to St. Mungo's for special treatment, and all that we'd been told was that he wasn't dead. That wasn't a whole lot to go by, and Weasley was about ready to pull his hair out in worry that he'd be blamed if Snape was permanently injured.

I'd been forced to hang out with Lumin, Goyle and Crabbe again, and I was reverting back to my old ways what with Falin not there to keep me out of trouble.

We were in our Care for Magical Creatures lesson, and Goyle had just dared me to ride the damned Hippogriff. After seeing the way Potter played with it like a tame kitten, I figured it would be easy.

"Eh, you're not dangerous at all, now are you?" I smirked, sauntering towards the Hippogriff Potter had just ridden.

"Malfoy, no!" I ignored Hagrid as he cried out for me to stop.

The Hippogriff reared above my head and my cocky grin vanished as I stared up at it in fear. I raised my arm to shield myself a second before it's talons came down upon me, contacting sharply with my arm and knocking me from my feet. Blinding pain shot through my arm as I writhed on the ground, fear completely gripping me and all sense of reason escaping my mind as it was plunged into a memory. I was in my father's mansion again, and he was pounding down on me full force with his staff.

"You're killing me! It, it hurts-" I wailed, rolling back and forth and gripping my arm, feeling blood seep from the wound into my shirt sleeve.

"Calm down, it's just a scratch!" The voice I heard came from my father's lips, but it wasn't his voice, and suddenly, I was back in the clearing with the Hippogriff, the attack fresh on my mind, but the memory even fresher.

"Hagrid, he has to be taken to a hospital!" I heard a voice cry, but I was too out of it to realize who as my mind was fuzzy and dazed.

"I'm the professor, I'll take 'im." Hagrid leaned down and lifted me less than gently in his gargantuan arms as I lay there, my face twisted in pain.

"You're going to regret this, you and your bloody chicken!" I cried to no one in particular, slightly delusional from the pain. I squeezed my eyes shut as the stars crowded my vision.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

"Are you sure you're completely ready to go back?" Father checked, staring down at me seriously.

I kept my gaze locked between his eyes, unable to look him directly in the eyes and nodded. "Yes, father. It's been three months, I'm ready to go back." I told him, sitting on the couch, holding little Jaybin in my arms as Mirianda watched me closely from the sidelines.

Father sighed. He was a young man of about twenty six now, and he looked almost as he did before the accident. He was prepared to go back as well. "Alright, but I'm keeping an eye on you, and Lumin and Draco are _never _leaving your side." He told me.

I nodded, looking back down at my little niece who was a full month old. I smiled at her and she stared back, her bright blue eyes shining up at me. I smiled and traced a finger up and down her chin and she made a tiny face that somewhat resembled a smile, but not quite. I smiled again before handing the tiny child over to her mother, who winked at me.

I smiled again and stood. "Okay, father. Let go us- let's go, I mean." I mumbled. I was still having trouble speaking, but I was basically gotten over the period of the Madness, it only leaving traces in my speech, thought process and other little things. But I was well enough to return. If father had his way, I wouldn't go back at all, but socializing with other's my age was a good way to tame the Madness, according to Mirianda, and father wasn't about to pass up on anything that might slow it down.

"Alright, come on."

I took father's arm and we were gone in a flash of robes, and suddenly, we were just outside Hogwarts' wards again. I stared around at the familiarity of it all, the only difference being that everything was covered in a thick layer of fresh snow. I closed my eyes and breathed in the crisp air, smiling lightly.

"Come on." Father reminded gently, pulling me after him. I reluctantly followed and we walked briskly all the way to the castle. Once inside, we went straight to the Hospital Wing, making sure no one saw us.

"Ah, good to see you both back!" Poppy greeted us, and, thankfully, no one was in the Wing at that moment, no one, except Draco, that is. His head turned to the side and he stared for a moment before his eyes lit up and he sat up.

"Falin!" He cried and I stared at his face, trying to determine his emotions by his facial expression, but found I could not do it. I smiled shyly, going by his voice that he was pleased.

"Hello, Draco." I said, my voice slurred slightly. I stared at his arm which was bandaged. "What you- did you do?" I asked.

He shrugged, then winced when it hurt. "Hippogriff accident a couple days ago." He replied. "Nearly took my arm off, just here getting it checked on."

I nodded. "What about your face?" I asked, indicating the red mark over his lips and nose.

He blushed, and I figured his expression was embarrassed. "I erm… had a little run-in with the damned Granger girl. She was a tad peeved about her bloody Hippogriff, father's having it executed you know, because of what it did to me - OUCH!" he cried, turning to stare accusingly at Madam Pomfrey, who had tied his bandage a little too tight.

"Oh, my mistake, mister Malfoy." She told him in a tone that said she was not at all sorry.

Draco turned back to me, probably scowling, but my mind was no longer capable of distinguishing facial emotions. "See what happens when I try to do things without you? I nearly lose my arm, and my face gets smashed in by a bloody _mudblood girl." _He cried and I gave him a half-chuckle, unsure if he was joking or if he was being serious.

"What, so it is my fault you got hurt?" I cried after a moment, taking his seriously spoken words to heart, unable to see the smile that was on his face.

"I never said it was your fault, all I said was that I was blaming you." He told me, and if it weren't for the smug amusement in his tone, I would have taken him completely seriously again.

"Okay, I will stay you with- with you now." I corrected with a smile.

"Thanks, come on." He told me, jumping off the bed and slinging his good arm over my shoulders. "Oh, hey, professor, good to see you." He offered father carelessly as we walked passed. Father spared Draco a curt nod before turning back to Madam Pomfrey as she checked to make sure he was fully able to return to his duties.

Draco pulled me all the way back to the Slytherin common room, as the third years had a full free period, where we both sat down on the couches. I didn't notice that all eyes were on me, and, had Draco not been with me, I never would have. He glanced around and I looked up too to see all eyes on me, though I couldn't understand their expressions. It was so frustrating!

I leaned toward Draco. "What are they all staring at?" I hissed.

"I think you." He hissed right back. I shrank down in the couch, slumping slightly, my eyes darting around.

"Why-" The word was barely out of my lips before an all-too familiar face came up beside me. I stared up at Jordan Stecks, my face going red and a deep frown taking form there. "What do you want?" I asked, my voice had lost much of its emotion during the Vacancy Period, but had it not, it would have been full of contempt and disgust.

"What are you doing here, did someone leave your cage open?" Stecks laughed, staring at me.

I pondered his words for a moment, staring at his shoulder, my head tilted to the side, unable to look him in the eyes. Normally, I would have looked him straight in the eye, and sent a stinging comeback right away, but I had nothing. I could think of nothing good to say, and I hated myself for it.

"Got nothing to say, eh? A shame. You used to be fun to argue with." Molohov laughed, coming up on Stecks' left side.

"Maybe he's nothing to say with you." Draco snapped.

"Well maybe I've nothing to say to him!" Stecks shot back.

"Well maybe-"

I interrupted Draco before he could continue.

"Draco, don't argue with idiots, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." I told him quite seriously, to which I heard snickers around the room. I smirked, realizing I'd said something actually quite funny.

"You remember my confession, right?" Stecks asked suddenly, crouching down between my knees and staring up at me, placing his hands on my knees in the most unnerving fashion, completely ignoring my comment about idiots.

"Keep your dirty hands away from me, or you can be collecting other parts of your body from the floor." I snapped, brushing his persistently roaming hands away.

I stared at his face, trying desperately to read the expression, but my mind simply _could not _do it. I could, however, feel his hands as they roamed my thighs and other areas. I scowled at him, pushing his hands away again. "Seriously, don't get on my bad side today, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies." I told him with a serious face. Oh how I wished to be able to interpret and enjoy the look that was probably pure horror that crossed his face as he leapt back from me.

I smirked up at him as he stared down at me, his eyes wide, some emotion on his face that I tried to read, it was still impossible. "Why are you smiling?!" He demanded, his voice a high-pitched squeak, and I realized I was still smiling like a predatory animal.

My smile only widened. "I'm smiling because they haven't _found _any of the bodies yet." I told him, so pleased with myself for overcoming the eighth stage enough to be able to still be on the draw.

"Bu-yuh, muh-" He stuttered and I smiled again, then my face went completely blank, staring at him with dull eyes. He shook himself out of his temporary stupor and moved back over to me.

"Leave us alone, Stecks." Draco sighed, slumping back. He wasn't really concerned that Stecks could do anything, as I could still take care of myself and outsmart the dimwit any day, but I could still feel his eyes on me.

I turned to look at Draco's shoulder, tilting my head to the side. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups, Draco. Stecks with his gay posse are a force to be reckoned with." I told him, turning back to Stecks as Molohov and Flejj came up behind him, Perem moving just beside him.

"Hey! We're not gay!" Molohov protested in his thick Irish accent.

"Yeah!" Flejj added.

I could have laughed at them for that, had I the ability within me. "If I agreed with you on that, we'd both be wrong." I told them, tilting my head at an odd angle and staring at Stecks' shoulder.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're acting… odd. You keep, keep… acting… _odd."_ Stecks said after a moment, his shoulders slumped as he stared at me, obviously trying to figure out what my deal was.

"You don't understand anything, Stecks, don't even try to grasp things beyond your comprehension." I told him, narrowing my eyes and moving my gaze to his other shoulder, tilting my head the other way, feeling my eyes trying to cross over. I blinked quickly and they returned to normal.

"But you've always been odd, now haven't you? I want to know once and for all just what your bloody problem is." He declared, moving towards me slowly.

"What part of 'you don't understand anything' don't you understand?" I furrowed my brows, wondering what part of my sentence had been unclear to him.

He decided to ignore my question, and instead, moved to kneel between my knees again. I stared down at him, leaning back casually on the couch.

"How much do you love me?" He asked.

I sat in deep thought for a moment. "Go outside right now, look up at the sky and count the stars, that's how much." I replied contemplatively, to which Draco looked at me sharply, but I ignored him.

Stecks' face lit up briefly, then he frowned, furrowing his brow. I rejoiced at the fact that I was able to read that facial expression. It was smiles and other things I was having trouble with. "But it's morning, there aren't any stars…" He said after a moment.

"Exactly." I replied with the briefest of smirks. I heard Draco desperately trying to contain his snicker as he sat beside me.

"Tell me, Falin, why do you find me irresistible?" Stecks asked, changing the direction of the conversation. I hated how sparse he was being, quickly changing away from my insults to draw attention away from them as he had no good comebacks.

"I _don't _find you irresistible, you are completely and one hundred percent resistible." I replied in a bored tone.

"Why do you even bother arguing with me anymore?" He challenged.

"I'm retarded, what's your excuse?" I replied smoothly. He seemed to have no answer to that, so he merely slid his hand further up my leg, intensifying my discomfort, though I didn't outwardly show it. I didn't want to give him that pleasure, so I sat there, utterly motionless, completely outwardly relaxed, though my mind was in turmoil.

My head twitched and I tilted it to the side, closing my eyes. "No, he's always like this." I told Nyphera, who often spoke through me. "But why is he so… vile?" She asked, using my voice. "Lord knows, I think it's some kind of disease." I replied thoughtfully. I glanced back at Stecks, who was staring at me like I'd gone mad. "What?" I finally snapped.

"Why the hell do you do that? Talk to yourself?" He cried.

"I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people. Now, kindly remove your… hand." I grabbed his wrist and moved his hand away from between my legs where it had steadily been creeping towards, and placing it on his shoulder.

"You're the air that I breathe." He told me in a breathy voice, making me shiver. He had some odd, creepy obsession with me. I'd heard of some people bullying someone they had crushes on, but he had gone to the extreme the year before. Could I really believe he honestly was so infatuated with me?

"Okay, so I'm the air that you breathe, if I go in another room, will you suffocate?" I asked.

"Why don't you love me?" He asked despairingly, ignoring the question.

"Because, you're vile. But… if I promise to miss you, will you please go away?" I asked. He was silent for a while, then changed the direction of the conversation again.

"It's true we don't know what we've got until we've lost it, but it's also true that we don't know what we're missing until it arrives." He told me, taking my hand in his, seemingly finally used to how cold it was.

"You point being?" I raised an eyebrow, prying my hand from his.

"I'm in love with you, Falin, I would die for you!" He told me, staring up at me, trying to look me in the eyes, but I kept my eyes locked firmly on my hands as I tried to keep him from taking them in his own again.

"Prove it!" I told him with a grin and he blanched, his friends and Draco snickering.

"Ah, um…" He tried desperately to recover from that little setback. "You-uh, you look like a dream." He tried, running his hand down my cheek.

"Go back to sleep, then." I replied smoothly, feeling a rhythm getting itself started. I was on a roll.

_"_I'd go to the end of the world for you!" He tried again desperately, taking my hands in his.

"Yes, but would you stay there?" I replied without losing a beat, smirking the whole time, prying my hands from his.

"I can tell that you want me… so badly." He told me in a smooth, coaxing voice.

"Yes, you're right. I want you… to leave. _So badly." _I replied lazily, making a great show of inspecting my nails. I could tell by now he was either getting really desperate, or really angry, but I couldn't read his facial expression, I was still having trouble with it, so I just continued talking, trying to not let it hold me back. "You know, you are the perfect example of why some animals eat their young. You want my advice? Act you age, not your IQ, it will get you farther in life-"

"You're just jealous!" he interrupted.

I shot him a glare for interrupting my lecture. "Yes, I am indeed covetous of those whom do not have to endure the insufferable consequence of your company, but in terms your puny mind will understand, I'm jealous of people who don't know you. Now, as I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me; while money can't buy happiness, it certainly allows you to choose your own form of misery. Then again, humans do have a knack for choosing things that which are worst for them. So without further ado, I'm leaving now to go find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait." With that, I stood and walked away, leaving them all staring after me with wide eyes. I couldn't help but smirk myself to sleep that night.

**AN: ohhh… I love Falin. *smirk* And if you're wondering why Stecks is being so mushy towards Falin all of a sudden, it shall be revealed in the next chapter! Please review with your speculations? **


	58. Year 3: chapter 12

**Chapter twelve:**

**Potions Class; Voices**

**POV: Jordan Stecks**

"He's- he's just so, UGH! I can't do it!" I cried, falling face first into my bed.

Molohov laughed and plopped down beside me. "Ah, don't be like that Jordan, he's just playing hard to get. I think you're doing great." He taunted, his thick Irish accent mocking me.

I turned and glared at him. "Oh really? What did you eat for breakfast, a big bowl of dumbass soup, or a big bowl of dumbass cereal?" I grumbled and he laughed again.

"Well, you know the bet, if you can't get him to like you, I get your Firebolt." He made a great show of inspecting his nails, leaning back against the bedpost, smirking.

I shot him a glare. "I know the bet, Molohov. And I'm _not _going to lose. I _never _lose." I hissed, rolling onto my back and glaring up at the ceiling. "The worst part," I began slowly after a long pause. "is that I have to make the whole of Slytherin think I'm a bloody homosexual freak." I scrunched up my nose. Even despite the fact that I found fawning over Falin Cerenbus to be a bit odd and embarrassing, I couldn't help but think about how small and cute he was… my true feelings about the overly-handsome Slytherin would never be admitted to my friends. It was best they remain in the state of mind that thought I hated his very soul, when in reality, I truly liked him as much as I was pretending for his sake.

**[1] **"Yeah, well I _know _he's gay. He has to be. I saw him and Malfoy making out on the couch in the common room earlier this year. And they slept on it together a lot." Flejj offered, plopping down on the floor next to my bed, scrunching up his nose in disgust.

"Are you're sure it was them?" Molohov gave Flejj a skeptical look.

"Positive." Flejj replied confidently. "And besides, we suspected him of being gay last year, remember?" He added defensively.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I grumbled, shaking my head. "Just, why does it have to be me that has to play gay?"

Flejj and Molohov smirked. "Because." They said at the same moment.

I glared at them and shook my head, kicking at Molohov. "Get your own bloody bed, go on!" I told him and he scrambled away, laughing. I rolled over onto my side and glared at a wall. I longed for the days when _I _was the leader of our little group, where they followed me like blind sheep. Now I constantly had to prove to them that I wasn't a wimp, as I no longer had a good hold over them. I'd show them. I'd _make _Cerenbus want me. I smirked, an idea forming in my mind.

**POV: Ron Weasley**

"Oh god, he's back! If I ever thought I got potions bad before, I'm dead meat now." I whined, staring up at the head table in the great room, where the pale man sat as we waited for breakfast to be served. It was the day after he'd returned and Madam Pomfrey had deemed him ready to start up again as the potions master.

"Calm down Ron, look at him, he looks fine." Hermione hissed.

"Calm down? You want me to calm down? He was at Saint Mungo's for three bloody months! What could I have possibly done to him to keep him hospitalized for _three bloody months?"_ I whined, hunching down over the table, praying the dreaded potions master's eyes wouldn't travel over to me.

"Your attention please! Thank you." Professor MacGonagal called before seating herself, interrupting any further argument between us.

Professor Dumbledore stood from his seat and stared down at all his students, his everlasting twinkle visible to all. "I'd like you all to welcome back our dear professor Severus Snape, who has made a full recovery, and is back to teach you all again." He began and was interrupted by wild cheering from the Slytherin half of the room, as they'd been without a head of house for three months, the prefects had been in charge, but the other professors were the ones who truly kept eyes on them and kept them out of trouble.

"I am pleased to announce that our beloved professor suffered no permanent damage from the incident, and will be resuming as the Slytherin's head of house, and the potions master." With that, he sat down, and the Slytherin's cheered one more time before the feast began.

"There, see Ron? No harm done." Hermione offered, stabbing her food with her fork.

I glared at her, stuffing food into my mouth, as I was a nervous eater. "No harm done?" I spluttered through my mouthful, making Hermione gag and look down at her plate as food shot out of my mouth. "He's going to make it his personal pleasure to torment me through the rest of this year, and every other year after! And he was already doing that, so it's just going to be ten times worse!" I let my head hit the table with a dull thunk.

Hermione let out an exasperated sigh, setting her fork down and pushing her plate away slightly. "Ron, he's a _professor._ And granted, with a very… ambiguous, sense of right and wrong when it comes to disciplinary actions, but a professor nonetheless, he can't do anything more to you than snide remarks and borderline cruel detentions, and he was already doing that before the accident, there's nothing more he can do." She assured me, which did absolutely nothing to tame the sense of anxiety that was steadily creeping up my spine.

I slowly raised my head from the table to stare at her, my face blank, my eyes drooping. "Thank you, Hermione. You really know how to make me feel better." I said sarcastically.

"You're welcome." She replied confidently, going back to daintily eating her food. I rolled my eyes and dug in as well with a little less conviction than I normally had when eating.

**POV: Severus Snape**

I threw open the doors with a bang that resounded through the classroom and walked in with an air of confidence as all eyes turned to me. "Open your books to page two-hundred and ninety seven. I do hope, though do not expect, that many of you have been keeping up with your studies in my absence?"My eyes roamed the guilty faces of my students. Well over half of them had indeed neglected their studies.

"Very well then," I continued with a note of distaste. "we have a lot of catching up to do." My eyes moved over to one figure in particular that sat hunched in his seat, his book open and in front of his face, but his bright red hair blatantly giving away who he was. I glided over to his desk and he didn't notice my presence until I spoke. "Mister Weasley." I began and he jumped, dropping the book. We both stared down at it for a moment as it clattered to the floor. I stared a hole in him, saying nothing until he slowly bent down to fumble for it.

"Y-yes, professor?" He stuttered, staring up at me, white as a sheet, visibly trembling after he had retrieved the fallen book.

"Kindly refrain from any explosions today. I was fortunate last time, I do not wish to lose my life to any more of your… _accidents." _I warned, staring down at him with a dark aura about me, my black eyes glinting dangerously.

He nodded frantically, his hair falling over his eyes.

I furrowed my brow at the trembling boy, narrowing my eyes further and he slumped down in his seat, trying to shrink away from my stern glare. "In my _humble_ opinion," I continued with a flick of my robes as I made way back up to the front. "Idiots like you should not be allowed in a classroom where your mistakes could possibly be fatal," I stopped in front of my desk, leaning on it, knowing I was embarrassing the poor boy in front of the whole of the class, but not much caring as he had nearly killed me in front of the same group of students three months before.

"However that is not for me to decide, it is merely for me to make certain you do not do any other foolish thing that quite possibly could end your personal pathetic life, or that of a superior mind to your own. That would be, _most unfortunate._" I eyed the class as they stared back at me, rigid in their seats. "I must make it quite clear to you what happened to me in no way hinders my ability to properly punish foolish behavior. Open your books."

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

Snape surely didn't mess around! I quickly opened my book and followed along with the lesson all the way through. The entire class went smoothly with no problems whatsoever as Snape assigned the more advanced to work with the more inept and kept his hawk eyes on Weasley and Longbottom. Namely Weasley.

"Good to see your father's back in power." I told Falin as we headed for our next class.

"Indeed." He replied in a monotone voice, not looking at me, but rather staring ahead as we continued down the crowded hall as students hurried to get to their classes on time.

"So where's Tynan?" I asked conversationally, trying to break the unfamiliar, uncomfortable silence that passed between us.

"Who?" He kept his eyes locked ahead.

I slowed, giving him an odd look. "Your twin brother…" I raised an eyebrow, wondering what could possibly be occupying his mind to the point that he'd forget about such a close relation such as a twin.

"Oh! Right, um, he's fine…." His gaze flicked to the floor and his pace slowed. "Come, we'll be late for class." He picked up his speed again and stared straight ahead.

I stared after him for a while in confusion. _'He's fine'? That's not even what I asked! I'd asked where he was, not how he was doing. If I didn't know any better, I'd think Falin was hiding something from me…_

I sighed and shook my head before speeding up to walk alongside him.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I sighed, sitting in class when one of my many 'mind guests', as I call them, came to visit.

_Hello, Falin. _He smirked at me and I scowled.

'Go away Krol, I'm in class.' I told him and he simply ignored that.

_Lovely evening, isn't it? _

'How should you know, you're just in my head.'

_I'm not just in your head! And I resent the implication._

'I resent the fact that you're in my head.'

_I'm not in your head! _

'Oh really, where are you then?' By now, I was getting frustrated because I couldn't concentrate on my studies. Professor MacGonagal caught me staring off into space and I quickly got back to work. 'Look, I'd love to talk with you, but I really can't, I'm in class right now, can't you bother me another time?'

_But I'm here now, and I don't feel like leaving. _

'Please! I'm going to get in trouble!' I pleaded, squeezing my eyes shut and desperately trying to get the voice to go away.

_Nope, you can't get rid of me that easily. _Said the voice I was going to murder if it didn't shut up.

'Go away.'

_No. I like it here._

And suddenly, there were many voices in my mind, arguing, shouting, screaming. All either fighting with one another, or telling me how stupid I was, how I was insane and had no friends. I shook my head, my eyes still squeezed shut, tears forming in the corners of them. I covered my ears and whimpered.

"Mister Cerenbus, is something the matter?"

I jumped, startled at the sound of professor MacGonagal's voice. Her voice interrupted all the others and my mind was silent once again.

"No, I-I'm fine, thank you, professor." I told her, staring at her shoulder, very thankful she'd interrupted the voices before they had time to drive me to another attack of the Madness. "Professor, I think… I think I need to go to the Hospital Wing." I changed my mind when a voice was persistently trying to come back.

She hesitated, then nodded. "Yes, yes you may go. Miss Cerenbus, please escort your brother to the Hospital Wing." She asked in her thick Irish accent and Lumin nodded, quickly standing and coming over to my side.

"Come on." She whispered, helping me up and leading me out. "Are you okay?" She asked, looking up at me with worry once we were out of the classroom and in the empty halls.

"It's the voices again. Take me to father, he'll have some Quiet Mind." I told her wearily, leaning heavily on her. She nodded and wrapped her arms around my waist, helping me down the stairs to the dungeons.

"Here, wait here. Father's teaching the seventh years right now, I'll just slip in, let him know and he'll let me get it from the back room." She told me, helping me lean against the wall. I slid down it and sat on the floor, drawing my knees to my chest and hugging them, hiding my face and rocking back and forth, hardly noticing as she slipped into the potions room.

**POV: Illumine Shalom Snape**

I slipped into the potions room, trying to go as unnoticed as possible. Father was at one of the desks, correcting one of the students work as he stood behind them, closely inspecting their potion. I slipped over to him and timidly took hold of his robe, tugging on it slightly. He turned sharply to glare in my direction, searching for whoever might dare to touch him. His face hardened when he saw me.

"What are you doing here? Get back to class!" He snapped, giving me 'the look' and I immediately knew that I had to play the part of a scared third year who was terrified of the dreaded potions professor, embarrassed to be seen speaking to him in front of the many seventh years.

All eyes turned to stare at me and I shifted uncomfortably. "Professor?" I squeaked, then looked around and put my finger up, motioning for him to come down to my level. He rolled his eyes and leaned down and I whispered into his ear. He nodded in understanding and indicated with a careless flick of his wrist that I should find it in the storage room.

I scurried off and searched the shelves until I found what I was looking for. I clutched the small vial protectively in my grasp and hurried back out, showing it to him briefly and he nodded. I left in a hurry and as soon as I was back out, I let out the breath I'd been holding, sliding down to the floor.

"Okay, here, just drink this." I murmured, crawling over to my brother and pulling the cap off the vial. He was shivering and staring blankly ahead, so I had to tip his head back and help him drink it. "How do you feel?" I asked after a few moments and he stopped shaking.

"Like hell." He replied wearily, smiling wryly.

I smiled sympathetically, resting a hand on his slim, boney shoulder. "Come on, you don't have to go back to class if you don't feel like it, I'll help you back to your dorm." I told him, helping him stand.

"Thanks." He told me, putting his arm over my shoulder and his other across my front, linking his hands and leaning on me while I slid my arms around his middle and took most of his weight. He was almost weightless, so I had no trouble at all getting him up to his dorms. He fell asleep almost as soon as I helped him into his bed.

I smiled sadly, sniffing and wiping my eyes as I stared down at my brother. "I love you." I whispered, gently brushing my lips against his cold forehead.

**AN: [1] remember that one chapter where Draco kissed Falin to comfort him? Well that's what Flejj saw. He misinterpreted it is all :) Speculations?**


	59. Year 3: chapter 13

**Chapter thirteen:**

**When All Hope Is Lost**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I hurried into the Hospital Wing as soon as I'd heard. Falin had gone into the ninth stage. It had been a few months since anything of significance had happened since the day in class when Lumin had helped Falin out of the room because he'd been unwell. But now, as the end of the school year was coming closer, along with Falin's fourteenth birthday, I was worried.

"Is he alright?" I demanded quietly as soon I was in the room. Snape, Annenia, Illumine and Mirianda stood by the side of Falin's bed, Annenia was clutching little Serenia and Mirianda was holding a small child in her arms that I instantly knew must be Jaybin.

I hurried over quietly, my eyes training on the figure on the bed. My heart jumped up into my throat and my blood ran cold at the sight of him. He looked like death. His skin was completely drained of any color he'd had left. His body was limp and his lips were blue, as if he were cold.

I looked back up at them as they all stood there, my eyes filled with pain. "He's not-" I choked on the word, unable to say it. "Is he?" My voice had tears in it.

Snape shook his head. "No, he's alive." He murmured, then glanced at Annenia, Illumine and Mirianda. They nodded and left slowly, leaving me alone with Snape and the boy who looked barely alive.

"Why? Why is he like this? Why?" I asked, my voice pleading as I stared at the as good as dead form of Falin as he lay on the bed, tied down to prevent him from harming himself or others, but nothing could restrain his own mind from doing unspeakable damage to him.

"You, have played a major role in Falin's life for the past few years… I believe a proper and full explanation is in order." He murmured, sitting down wearily in the chair next to Falin's bed.

I took the seat next to him, staring at Falin's drained face. _If he were any paler,_ I silently mused, _he would be see-though._

"It was another's bidding that brought Falin and his sisters into the world, through me… and… Falin's mother." Snape began, seemingly unwilling to speak aloud her name, even though I already knew who Falin's mother was. "He wanted us to create the ultimate heir for him, to be his right-hand wizard. Falin was born to be used. Born to die…. All was going as planned, for the first three or four years of Falin's life. He was originally named, Malum Lixam. Which… translates to 'evil follower' I… changed his name after he came to be in my possession." He told me quietly.

I wanted to ask how that came to be, but I also wanted to hear the rest of the story, so I remained silent. I'd already heard some of it from Falin, but part of me wondered if Falin had left anything out.

"Falin's mother took many potions and spells upon herself during the time in which she waited for Falin to be born, the spells and potions were meant to increase Falin's magical ability. Such potions are illegal, otherwise, expecting parents would use them more often, and the risk of too-powerful witches and wizards would increase. That's why he has so many special abilities." He was silent for a moment.

"When it was learned that Falin had the Madness, the… mother, lost all interest in the boy and his usefulness. Voldemort," He said the name darkly, as if it were poison in his mouth. "saw no more usefulness in Falin and ordered us to produce another heir. Lumin." I nodded slowly at his words. "But, the dark lord didn't want a female heir, he wanted a male child, and so, after the third failed attempt, he turned to you." He looked at me seriously.

I stared at the floor. "That's why he wants me to be his heir. I was his fourth choice." I whispered.

Snape nodded slowly. "I and… their mother… left your house in an attempt to train them, as Bellatrix' pride was very much injured from all the failed attempts. She pretended to care, to love them, only so that they would trust her. But I saw through her lies. She was starting to lose interest in them. However… as we continued raising him and training them, she began to realize that her master could use Falin's madness as a potential weapon. She left me, in the middle of a crisis, and that proved to me how little she cared. She came back, trying to say she wanted to try again, but I sent her away, because I didn't trust her." He sighed, slumping in the seat.

"In one of her fits of rage, she cursed me, with some odd curse that... made me prophesize Falin's death. Now… Falin is destined to die, at my own hands, or the Madness will consume him as well as all those around him." His voice had a haunted edge to it, as though the words, even as they passed his lips, brought back terrible things to his memory, things he felt the need to shun.

"How… does the Madness … develop?" I asked quietly after a few moments of silent contemplation of both our parts.

Snape shifted in his seat slightly, staring at the floor. "A person is born with the seed of the Madness buried deep within them. Often, a child born with it will grow up and die of old age never knowing it was there, while others, tragically exposed to the… proper conditions…" He said it as though it were a sickening thing, and sickening thing it was indeed. "…for the Madness to come to effect. Such a disease of the mind is intensified by extensive periods of over-stimulated terror, or physical abuse. At first, it only shows itself through silence, then through an attack of the Madness, which could be mistaken for a temper tantrum, and then recurring nightmares that… are so vivid to the dreamer, that they will swear to you that what happened in the dream is actual memory, rather than horrors induced by the imagination."

He sighed wearily. "The Madness twists the mind to the point where the person can no longer tell the difference between dreams and reality. Basically, Falin is living in two or more worlds. The world of his dreams, the world of his nightmares, and this world. He still doesn't know which world is reality and which is a dream, because… in his dreams, he is told that they are reality as often as I have told him that this is reality, and he doesn't know what to believe anymore."

He sighed again. "Eventually, the- the nightmares become so horrid, that the person in question can no longer be bothered to sleep. Often, they also resort to self-harm. The stress of doing a thing to your body stimulates the Madness further, and the tormented mind snaps." He made a snapping motion and dropped his hands wearily into his lap, staring blankly ahead.

"After that, nothing can be done." He closed his eyes. "The plagued mind will deteriorate, despite whatever medication is taken to prevent it." He whispered.

I stared at my hands, twisting them in my lap. "So… Falin, has already…." I swallowed and did the same snapping motion Snape had done, as I was unable to say the word aloud.

Snape nodded gravely, his somber face the facsimile of silenced grief. "Falin has known this ever since he was a child. I felt he should at least know, so that he doesn't get his hopes up about possible recovery. He needed to know that this, madness, would eventually kill him." He said wearily.

I furrowed my brow. "You felt the need to tell him his own fate? No offence professor, but that's like reading a book, going into it and telling one of the characters when and how they will die, and telling them there's nothing they can do about it! It's not fair!" I told him, ignoring the fact that I could very well receive a deserved backhand for such a crude remark. But his hand never raised. He merely jadedly agreed with me.

"The uncertainty the future brings, and the fear that comes along with it, a fear of the unknown. It's one of the greatest fears known to man. Muggle, or wizard." Snape murmured.

"But what about the fear of the known? The terror of _knowing _what's to come. In my opinion, it's a cruel form of horror in itself." I told him, my eyes narrowed as though I couldn't fully grasp the situation as a whole. Snape merely stared at the floor, unable to respond.

"The time has come for Falin to greet his fate, not to cower away from it." Snape intoned dryly after a long moment of silence. I bit my lip, my gaze shifting back to the sickly boy that could easily pass for dead. I raised a trembling hand and let it hover over his before enclosing it in my own, expecting it to be deathly cold, but instead, it was burning hot and clammy, the sign of sickness in his own form.

I swallowed hard, wondering what terrors could be playing themselves through Falin's fragile mind at that moment as his face twitched, slightly contorted in pain as the sleep-draught was slowly losing its potency. I wanted so desperately to help him overcome his demons, as he had helped me with mine. But I couldn't do that. It was impossible.

I turned back to Snape, my hand still gently holding Falin's. "What can I do?" I asked quietly, my voice full of conviction.

He shook his head. "There is nothing you can do." He replied simply, looking as though he had accepted his son's unfair destiny and wasn't giving it a second thought. I wasn't so ready to give up on my best friend.

"There must be _something_." I asked desperately, pleadingly… helplessly. He shook his head slowly and insipidly, his face a morbid stone. I turned back to Falin and leaned over him, having to be silent for a long time before finally hearing his shallow breath. I turned to face him, my eyes searching the sickly damp skin that caused his raven hair to stick to it, almost the kind of picture you'd expect to see where someone had forgotten to color his face and had put too much dark in his hair. He didn't look real. He was too fragile to be real.

He was just a ghost, an apparition. Just a vision of his past self. Fleetingly, I remembered the boy I had met on the train a few years back, who had been mysterious, but not drowning in the depths of despair. And then I remembered the boy who had allowed himself to fully forget who he was for a while and just have fun, and a good long laugh with his friends at the Halloween party the same year I'd met him. That boy, and the phantom that lay before me, were not the same person. Most of the person that he had been, had died long ago. All that remained was the fragile shell that was the barrier between his mind and insanity, and I knew that it could shatter at any moment.

If I could want strong enough for him to live, if my will power alone was enough to save him, then he would already be saved. Because, despite his father seemingly labeling him as a lost cause, I still had a flicker of hope that the bonds of our friendship were enough to pull him back from the murky depths.

But as I stood there, staring at the deathly form of a thirteen, almost fourteen year old boy that could pass for a dead eleven year old, my hope slowly began to fade. Because deep down inside, I knew I couldn't be more wrong.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus**

"So… I've hit the ninth stage?" I whispered, staring up at father as he leaned over me, staring down at me as I lay tied to the bed. I don't know why I was tied down, the ninth stage was only the depression stage, part two… but I suppose father was worried I'd try to kill myself. Again.

He was right to do so.

I was so depressed, so fatigued, I just, I just wanted to die! I wanted it _so badly. _I swallowed hard, closing my eyes as I felt burning tears forming in the corners of them. "I don't _want _to die like this! I don't want you to kill me, please don't kill me." I begged, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"You know this is the only way." Father began, his emotionless mask in place to hide the hurt that I knew was there. "We all knew this would come. There is nothing more we can do. We must accept it…. _You _must accept it."

The amount of times I had heard this speech before meant that I was now immune to it, however, hearing it again did make me think twice about the attitude with which I was approaching the situation.

"It could be that the purpose of my life is only to serve as a warning to others. That life in the best and worst of times is cruel no matter what. To those who don't deserve it. Or is this some form of cruel punishment? Perhaps I was a bad person in a former life, and now I am being punished. For me, every breath is a battle, and every thought is a war. And I don't think I'm winning anymore." I breathed, staring up at the ceiling as father had sat down on the edge of my bed. I felt his hand close over mine, which was limp at my side, strapped to the bed.

I glanced at him, forcing myself to look him in the eyes. And that's when I saw it. The pain. The anguish. I was killing him. It was me that cause him that pain. And I realized that I had to push through the hurt, past the pain, tears and fear, because I knew being weak wasn't fair to the ones I loved. I offered him a cold smile that he wasn't fooled by at all.

My soul was screaming for him to leave, as his presence, the pain in his eyes, was too much for me to bear. His eyes were begging for the words I'd never say. And after all, no one wanted to kill the dying child, they just wanted him gone. I looked father straight in the eye, needing him to _see _and not just _hear _the emotions behind my words.

"You believe that since I'm still breathing none of my attempts worked. But they all did. I'm dead inside and I'm never coming back. I'm gone forever and all I'm waiting for is for my body to finally catch up." I told him seriously, and the look of anguish that crossed through his eyes made me shiver. I was torn between wanting him to share my pain, and wanting him to be spared from it. I wasn't being selfish, I told myself, just being fair.

Looking back, I began to doubt. Not because I had lost faith, but because I had lost hope.

**AN: I really love this chapter for some reason… you can just… ****_feel _****the pain. I LOVE it! ^.^ Please, I love your speculations! Will Falin die? Or will the love that Draco, Severus, Annenia, Mirianda, Illumine and the others have for him be enough to save him? SPECULATIONS! Whoever comes up with a plausible scenario that is anywhere close to what actually happens gets virtual hugs and chocolate! **


	60. Year 4: Chapter 1

**Chapter one:**

**Birth/Death-Day; Summer Break/Year four **

**POV: Severus Snape**

Falin screamed and twisted hard, fighting passionately against me. It was a struggle not to let him go; he kicked and struggled, all the while screaming for me to let go. But I would not. I wasn't prepared to give up so easily. I knew that I could hold out much longer than Falin could, although I hated having to resort to a test of physical strength. But what had to be done, had to be done.

The frenzied, uncontrolled way in which he had initially fought, eventually gave way to a more weary, half-hearted attack and Falin stopped screaming. Burning tears trickled unchecked down his cheeks as tiredness overcame him and, soon, he stopped struggling completely.

It was only then that I drew Falin close and held him in the way he needed to be; my arms wrapped tightly around him as he wept into my robes.

When all the tears had been cried, Falin simply let me hold him, his body stiff and unforgiving. Falin's third year at Hogwarts was over, and his birthday had just come, had just struck midnight in fact. Falin had been determined to stay awake all night, staring at the clock, eyes wide, refusing to close them even for a second. The madness of the situation had been that I was forced to stay awake with him, as I too, was deathly afraid of the midnight hour, when he was born.

"Falin, it's alright, you're alright. It's over, you've not hit the last stage." I whispered frantically into his ear as he sniffed, his whole body trembling.

"Y-you m-mean I-I'm four-t-teen?" he stuttered, his voice thick with tears.

I knelt down before him, a sad kind of smile on my face. "Yes, Falin, you're fourteen, congratulations." I whispered, pushing a strand of his fine black hair behind his ear.

**[1] **He sniffed, red lines streaked down his face, his frail body still trembling. After a moment of silence, he looked up at me and spoke, his voice hoarse. "Was it by mistake or design that I was born on one of the most celebrated days of holiness? As a testament against the light, a mockery of all it stands for." He whispered, looking away as if ashamed. He had been born on a religious holiday that celebrated new beginnings and new life. He never preserved the holiday. He felt it a crime against humanity that he was born on it.

"Falin…." I sighed, closing my eyes and thinking for a moment before opening them again to face the bittersweet hurt on his face. The beauty of the sorrow, the hideousness of the travesty we were in. It was exhausting. "Sometimes life… just ends. There aren't any explanations for it, it just… happens. We have to accept our fate-" He cut me off before I could continue.

"It has to be full light, or no light at all. It's half-illuminated darkness I can't stand." He told me, staring me right in the eye, and I could see the fire blazing behind them. I suddenly understood what he meant. He didn't want me to sugar-coat it. At all.

"Falin, I can't lie to you. You're going to die. There's no simpler or more forthright way I can put it, no matter how much you seemingly want me to. I… nor anyone else, can stop it from happening. But Falin, we mustn't despair. Because, you're still alive. And that, is a miracle. You believe in miracles, don't you?" I stared down at him. He nodded. "Well, don' 't believe in miracles, Falin. Rely on them." I murmured, putting my hands on his slim shoulders. He nodded again. "Go play with Jaybin." I told him, gently pushing him towards the stairs. He obediently moved away from me, stopping briefly on the bottom step to glance back at me before bounding up them quickly and silently.

I sighed, staring after him, still down on one knee, a thoughtful frown on my face. I turned when I felt a hand on my shoulder to see Annenia standing there, looking worried. "Are you okay, Severus?" She whispered, crouching down next to me.

I sighed and stared at her, then back in the direction Falin had gone. "Yes, I'm fine." I whispered. "But I think I'm holding on to something that just isn't there anymore…"

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

I stared in boredom up at my new teacher as she droned on about nothing of interest. I blinked slowly, my eyes dull, my chin resting on my cheek, my elbow on the desk.

I sighed and turned to stare longingly out the window at the beautiful, sunny day. I smiled as I saw a few birds fly past. I was startled out of my thoughts when the blind was pulled down and miss Chiorlst cleared her throat, giving me a stern expression before returning to teaching about something or another.

I silently began beating my head off the desktop. I finally stopped, letting my cheek rest against the cold surface, staring blindly ahead. I wondered what Falin was doing. I had received an owl from him right after his birthday that he was still alive, and that he wished me a late happy birthday, and that he couldn't wait to see me again next year. I had rejoiced at that, as I'd been dreading the days prior to Falin's birthday so much that I hadn't even shown much joy in my own multitude of gifts or even the huge party my parents (cough cough mother) threw for me.

I sighed again, longing for summer to be over so I could see Falin again. And suddenly, I got my wish. The whole summer flew by in the blink of an eye, or so it seemed. It really had consisted of long, boring days of miss Chiorlst's droning voice and other boring things, but I had been so excited with every passing day about seeing Falin again that I never even noticed.

I eyed the crowd of hurrying students as they boarded the train. My heart sank when I didn't see his face among the many others. I slid into my usual seat, drumming my fingers nervously on the table. The train started moving, and still no Falin. I turned and looked out the window, feeling my heart sink.

"Mind if I sit with you?" I looked up sharply to see Falin standing over me, smiling despite how horrid he looked. I jumped up, delighted and hugged the tiny boy, careful not to be too rough, as he looked rather delicate. I noticed once again that I had grown a lot over the summer and he still hadn't grown an inch.

"Falin, sit. Are you well? I'm so glad to see you! You have no idea how long and boring the summer was, I just couldn't wait to come to Hogwarts again so I could see you!" I gushed, moving over so the tiny boy could slide in next to me. He nodded and smiled absently, his mind obviously in another place.

I stared at him, my smile fading. "Falin, are you okay?" I whispered.

He turned to me and smiled, nodding. "I'm okay." He replied quietly, his voice hoarse. I'd be damned if I believed him, but I stayed silent.

We got off the train and joined everyone in the great hall. I never noticed any of the words repeated every year before and after the sorting, only half-heartedly clapping when we got new Slytherins. My heart, mind and eyes were on Falin as he sat silently through it all, staring down, his eyes glazed over, his hands shaking slightly, his skin pale as the ghosts in the room. I sighed and stared at my own food, not much feeling like eating any of it.

We trudged down the familiar old halls, into the familiar old common room into the familiar old dormitory. I sighed and sat down on the side of Falin's bed, staring at him as he stared blindly at his hands as he sat there, lost in thought. I was completely taken by surprise when Stecks, Molohov and Flejj came over, but then, who else would bother us?

Before I could do anything or even process the situation, Stecks had grabbed Falin by the front of his shirt and yanked him to his feet. Falin stared up at him calmly, and I wasn't sure he'd even realized what was happening yet. I jumped up, horrified. Just when I was convinced Stecks was going to hit Falin, he instead, smashed their lips together, pulling him into a fiery kiss.

**AN: Heheheheh, I know, I know. Cliffy. But I haven't had many of those, have I? Hehe, deal with it. (^.^) Please review with what you think Falin's response will be, and Draco's too! OH, and anyone I had scared at the beginning of the chapter? Let me know ****_your _****reactions! Speculate, people, SPECULATE! **


	61. Year 4: chapter 2

**Chapter two:**

**To Kiss the Dead**

**POV: Jordan Stecks**

I smashed my lips hard against Falin's, pushing him up against the wall as Molohov and Flejj held Malfoy back, as he was shrieking and fighting to have at me. Molohov finally got a silencing spell and binding charm on the git and laughed as he was forced to sit there in silence and watch me as I worked my lips passionately over Falin's.

I forced myself to believe that the feminine boy was in fact, a girl. It wasn't hard, as he was small, and he smelled nice, kind of like a masculine flower, and his lips were soft. It was surprising that they weren't warm, but rather, ice cold. Like a shock of lightning. It felt almost like kissing the dead, as his lips tasted bittersweet. I had to admit it was amazing, despite the fact that I was kissing a male.

Falin was completely limp, not bothering to fight the kiss at all, and, if I lied to myself, I could swear he even worked with the kiss a little. I breathed through my nose so I wouldn't have to pull back. I was determined to make Falin want me. And I wasn't just going to make him want me. I was going to make him _want _me. Bad. Like a drug.

When Falin didn't protest, I stuck my tongue in his mouth, searching every corner of it, memorizing it, engulfing his lips in my own, hungrily kissing at him as if he were the most beautiful woman in the world, ignoring the snorting chuckles of Molohov and Flejj behind me. Since I had lost the bet the year before, when I'd been unable to make Falin fall for me, the new bet was this. I had to kiss him with a fierce passion only seen in the muggle movies. If Molohov was pleased, I'd get my Firebolt back. Then, and only then, could I go back to being straight. After this, though, I felt I might sway a little towards bisexual, if there were any other boys like Falin.

But then, there was no other like Falin, was there? He was special for some reason? Why? I ignored the questions as they filled my mind, instead allowing my hands to roam his body, my lips still plastered to his. I slid my arms around his tiny waist, pushing my body up against his, hard. After one last, long, meaningful kiss, I pulled back slightly, opening my eyes to see his staring at me, a faraway look in them. I blinked, wondering what was going through his mind as I cupped his cheeks, our faces still incredibly close, our bodies still completely pressed up against each other.

The room was utterly silent, everyone (_everyone, _mind you) was staring. They'd all seen it. The kiss. They all knew, without a shadow of a doubt that I was gay. (damn them, I was BI! There's a difference… grumble)

I stared into Falin's dark pits of mystery that he called eyes, willing him to say something, anything. He just stared back, a blank look on his face. Did he even see me? Had he even noticed the kiss? I glanced around. God, I hope that hadn't been for nothing! I'd never kissed _anyone _like that. Not even any of my girlfriends.

I swallowed, rubbing my thumb against his cheek and pecking his lips again, trying to get a response. When I got none, I pulled back, stunned. He either had nerves of steel, was gay and didn't care, or was straight and just plain didn't care. He stared at me blankly before pushing past me, undoing the silencing and binding spells without his wand or saying a word. He snatched Draco's hand, pulling him out of the room as Draco screamed at us, threatening bodily harm.

The dorm room door slammed shut and the room was silent again, all eyes on me. I turned to Molohov. "Well?" I asked in a bored tone, noting how wide his eyes were.

"Uh?" Was all he managed and I rolled my eyes.

"My Firebolt, you idiot, I want it back now!" I snapped and he nodded dumbly, moving to retrieve it.

Flejj was the first to recover. He bent over, laughing. He was soon laughing so hard he was rolling on the floor, tears in his eyes, gasping for air. I shook my head and slid into my bed, pulling the covers over my head to hide my deep blush as I heard whispers begin to fill the room.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

Seething fury pumped through my veins as Falin dragged me into the empty common room. We both sat down and I just exploded.

"The freaking bastard! I'll kill him! I'm going to murder the mother-fungern…" I didn't get to finish my sentence because my words were cut off by Falin's lips pressing against mine. My eyes widened and for an instant, I was lost in the shock of ice that went from my lips all the way down my spine.

My body went numb as all my senses were aware of was the softness of his lips against mine. And then, I heard a choked sob escape Falin's lips as they pressed against mine, and I felt his burning tears as they brushed my skin and I was aware of the situation once again. I shoved him away quickly, a little harder than perhaps was necessary, my eyes wide in shock as I stared at him as he sat there, sobbing, covering his face in his hands, drawing his knees up and hiding behind them.

I stared at him in shock for a moment, unable to find the words to say. "Falin!" I finally cried, my voice a mixture of shock and outrage. He looked up at me with a tearstained- well, bloodstained face, his body shaking. "Why did you do that?" I asked, forcing a gentler tone into my voice.

"I-I'm sorry, I thought that you wanted- I didn't know that you didn't- I just thought that-" He stopped, snapping his mouth shut, unable to find words to explain what he had just done. He hung his head instead, once again covering his face in his hands, biting his bottom lip so hard I saw blood trickle down his chin.

I stared at him, still shaken, my fingers finding their way up to my lips as the familiar feeling of his ice cold lips against the warmth of mine crept into my senses again. It was like kissing the dead. I shivered, pushing away the off-putting memory that always came up with that feeling. The memory of when I'd first learned he had a mental illness, when he'd attacked me in the hospital wing…

I shivered again, then sighed, gently putting a hand on his shoulder and he flinched, looking up at me. "Please Falin, just… why?" I asked softly, taking his chin and gently wiping away the burning hot blood.

He stared at me in despair for a moment, then looked down, his lower lip quivering, still slightly bloody. He drew in a sharp breath of air before he spoke. "I just… thought. After… what- about- with Sch-Schond- " I flinched at the name, but didn't interrupt him. "Th-then Stecks… I-I just thought… everyone wanted that from me. That it would make… that everything would be better after… that. That… that it was… that I was…" He swallowed hard, shaking his head slowly, running trembling fingers through his soft midnight tresses.

I stared at him, sighing softly. He obviously had twisted morals after everything that had happened to him. I myself had always thought the same thing. That I was a tool. That I should let everyone use me the way Orl Schond did. I had forced myself out of the habit after it got me in trouble once in my father's presence. Falin had never had such twisted luck.

I sighed again and ran my hand through my hair. "Falin… not everyone expects you to do that… In fact... only freaks like Stecks and Schond would ever force you to do that. You shouldn't let them…" I swallowed, suddenly feeling very hypocritical. After all, had I not given in some time after the first four or five times Schond did it to me? Had I not learned that fighting him only made things worse? But that had been an entirely different situation… I sighed again, shaking my head. "Falin, don't just let people use you like that… you have to fight them. You have to stand up for yourself." I whispered.

He stared at me, then blinked, looking down, his brow furrowed in thought as his eyes searched the couch. "But…" he began thoughtfully. "That night on the couch… you kissed me then, and… and you kissed me again that one time before you went in your own bed and went to sleep…" He protested.

I sighed, thinking. "That was different." I concluded after a moment.

"How?" He persisted and I sighed again, very much feeling like I was traying to explain rocket science to a very inept child. If it weren't for the gravity of the situation, I would have thought he was being purposefully daft, just to put me in the uncomfortable spot of having to try and explain it to him. The look on his face was enough for me to reconsider that notion.

"It just was, Falin. I'm your friend, I was comforting you, not making you do it for some sick, twisted pleasure of my own. It was a comforting gesture only… I didn't mean it that way." I told him quietly, fiddling with the laces on my boots.

"But… how do I know who 'means it that way' and who doesn't?" he asked. It was a good question. A hard question. I had to think for a moment.

"Well, you just… _know." _I replied unhelpfully, shrugging helplessly. "The way Stecks kissed you… and the way Schond kissed you, they were both different from how I kissed you, right?" After a moment of thought, he nodded. "Well… there you go." I whispered, shrugging. He nodded again and also shrugged.

We were silent for a long time. He glanced up at me awkwardly. "B-but how do I know if-" He bit his lip again, blushing. "Sorry." He sighed, shaking his head and staring at the floor.

I stared at him for a moment as he sat next to me before I carefully took his small, pale face in my hands and made him look at me. I stared into the deep pits of black, the endless ocean of trust that was there. He trusted me. He trusted me to care for him, to protect him. I wouldn't let him down. I closed my eyes, gently leaning forward and brushing his cold lips with mine, tasting his hot blood on my lips. He closed his eyes too and was unresponsive for a moment before kissing me back just as gently. I pulled back, not letting the kiss linger too long, but letting it be long enough to soothe him and show him exactly what I meant by 'comfort only' kisses.

"There." I whispered. "See?" We were silent again as he nodded and we both stared at the floor. I absent-mindedly brushed a hand over my burning lips. It had been an odd mix of hot and cold from Falin. While his lips were physically ice cold, his blood was scolding hot.

"Draco?"

I looked over at him. "Yes?"

"Thanks…. For everything." He whispered.

I stared at him for a moment, letting a thin smile play at my lips "No problem."

**AN: *sigh* once again, not promoting any gayness here (well, a little with Stecks) but again, with Draco and Falin? I ****_don't _****ship them, otherwise I'd of shipped them from the beginning. They're best friends who have a bond more special than most others. So, don't think I'm making them gay or anything weird like that…. And I'm not like, trashing gays or anything. So please don't think that either. Please speculate? REVIEW! :D**


	62. Year 4: Chapter 3

**Chapter three:**

**Heartbreak**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"Who're you going to ask to go to the Yule with you?" I pressed, sitting on the edge of my seat and staring expectantly at Falin as he sat there, fiddling with his potions book.

"I was going to ask Miriad. But she... didn't come to Hogwarts this year." He replied glumly, glancing up at me. "I don't think I'm going." He continued, sighing and leaning back in the chair, his shoulders dropping.

I furrowed my brow. "Not going, but… Miriad isn't the only girl in the school, Falin! Ask someone else!" I urged and he shook his head quickly.

"No, there's no other girl for me." He whispered, his fingers playing over his lips for a moment as a faraway look took over his features.

I rolled my eyes. "Falin, get over her. She's gone. You can't just, be loyal to the first girl you snog! That's stupid! Come on, I'll help you find someone else-"

"I don't _want _anyone else, Draco." He snapped, furrowing his brow, glaring at me, sitting up slightly. "Miriad is- was- my girlfriend. I'm not cheating on her." He folded his arms, looking cross.

I rolled my eyes again. "Falin, when's the last time you've seen her? Or even talked to her?" I sighed.

He shifted in his seat, staring at the floor. "We were together for a whole year-" he began.

"That's not what I asked. I asked when the last time you saw her was." I told him, leveling him a steady glare.

He sighed. "Sometime during the summer." He sighed.

"Mmhmm, and?" I prompted.

He glared at me, then his shoulders slumped in defeat. He sighed again. "Fine, it's over between us, in fact it has been for a long time. But I didn't… I don't want to talk about it." He glared meaningfully at me and my expression softened, turning into the look of concern and curiosity.

"Falin?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it!" He snapped, sitting up straight and glaring.

I sighed and shook my head slowly, turning to Lumin as she made her way over to us. She sat down next to her brother, smiling at him. He glared at her then stood up abruptly, walking pointedly away. Lumin stared after him, eyes wide before scooting over to where he had been sitting, directly across from me.

"What was that all about?" The twelve year old asked, looking back at me with wide, bright green eyes.

I sighed. "Something about Miriad. He's upset about breaking up with her or something." I replied and I noted the immediate change in her expression. "What?" I asked skeptically as I saw her face darken, her eyes narrowed as she stared just passed my head, a scowl on her pretty face.

"Nothing, she's just a slutty bitch." She hissed and I furrowed my brow again.

"Hold on, are we talking about the same girl?" I questioned, staring at her, thinking back to the sweet-natured red head with a gorgeous smile.

She nodded. "She cheated on Falin with Fegas Praygun. That's why we don't see him around anymore either." She replied, clenching her fist.

"Cheated? Really? Why would that make them completely leave the school? And how did you find out?" I asked skeptically, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Don't give me that, Draco. She came over during the summer, the summer after she up and vanished from the school? She turned up on our doorstep with Fegas Praygun on her arm and told Falin it was over. But then, she really didn't have to because you know what? The bloody girl got herself pregnant with that prat's child." She spat, glaring at the wall just past my head again.

My eyes widened. "Really?" I cried, trying to picture the girl… like that, but absolutely couldn't. Miriad had been sweet, not the trouble seeker kind.

I shook my head slowly. Teenage pregnancies. They certainly were an escalating problem, now weren't they? I sighed, brushing a lock of my white-blonde hair back from my eyes, staring in the direction of the dorms, the way Falin had gone. "Poor Falin." I murmured, knowing he must be heartbroken.

Lumin nodded, sighing. "So…" She began awkwardly, not at all subtly changing the subject. "Have you asked anyone to the dance yet?" She asked, eyeing me.

I nodded absently. "You?" I asked and she perked up a little, blushing.

"Yes I have. Well, he asked me, but yes. His name's Liaveld Annyver. He's a third year Ravenclaw." She smiled dreamily, staring up at the ceiling, her head tilted to the side, her hands clasped together and held firmly at her heart. I smiled, watching the younger girl as she drifted away, her mind in a completely different place.

"That's great." I told her, standing.

She blinked out of it, shaking her head and smiling, also standing. "Yeah. What about you? Who'd you ask?" She asked, smirking up at me.

I smiled a little dreamily myself. "Astoria Greengrass." I replied, my voice slightly breathy.

She giggled and wrapped her arms around my middle, hugging me. "Awesome." She told me with deep sincerity in her voice. She blinked up at me, smiling and I couldn't help but see my aunt in her features. Her eyes, her high cheek bones, complexion, hair. – Everything. At least she wasn't a bitch like my aunt.

I smiled, hugging my little cousin back and blushing when she planted a quick kiss on my cheek before she scampered away, her hair bouncing around her head like a dark halo of curls.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

I lay on my bed, my feet firmly up on the wall as I glared up at the ceiling, tossing a little ball back and forth between my hands. I felt the bed shift and didn't have to move to know who it was.

"What do you want, Stecks?" I hissed in a dark tone, tilting my head back to level him a dark glare. I'd recognized him by his stench. He rank of expensive cologne that was an odd mix of pine and violet. It might actually smell nice if he didn't practically bathe in the stuff. He absolutely reeked of it.

He flashed me one of his trademark grins that made girls (and some guys!) melt. I rolled over, my legs falling to the floor, half of my body hanging off the bed as my top half hung on it lazily, my eyes narrowed and flicked back and forth over his perpetually handsome features. Practically every girl in Slytherin, and a lot from the other houses, would give up their left leg to date Jordan Stecks. He was a good balance of popular and smart, with a dash of handsome and charisma thrown in. But to me, his boyish good looks were nothing but snobbish and his magnetism was suffocating.

"Just wondering if you wanted to go to the Yule Ball with me." He stated it with an air of confidence, and it was my personal pleasure to knock his ego down a notch or two.

"No." I replied plainly, my eyes drooping with a bored expression over my face.

"Aww come on, Falin! It'll be fun!" he grinned at me again, showing his wide set of pearly white teeth.

I blinked lazily, letting out a protracted sigh as I idly brushed back a lock of hair from my eyes. "Let me think about it…." I tapped on my chin in mock-concentrated thought. "Done. No." I slid onto the bed and rolled back over, sliding my hands under my head as a pillow and staring up at the ceiling again. "Now get off my bed, it'll take me a month to get your stench from the bedspread." I waved him away like a bothersome fly and he scowled at me.

"Falin, don't be like that. You don't have to play hard to get anymore." He whined, moving closer to me and resting a hand on my thigh, staring down at me with his stupid grin.

I glared at him, feeling the disturbing sensation I felt every time the pervert touched me. It was the most uncomfortable feeling I'd ever experienced and it made me want to rip his arm off. "Remove your hand, lest I sever your arm from your shoulder." I growled. The brief flash of panic behind his eyes turned to mischief very quickly and his hand slid further up my thigh, making the sensation rise to a whole new level of discomfort.

I squirmed, only thinly veiling the nervousness he was causing me. I didn't want him to have the pleasure of making me grimace at his every touch, every word. But I wasn't about to let him get away with this either. I grabbed his hand and thrust it away from my leg, glaring at him with strong defiance.

He laughed and slid closer to me, resting his chin on my chest as I lay there. "Please." He breathed, his lovely blue eyes big and pleading. He had nice eyes, I noticed and instantly scolded myself for mentally complimenting the creep.

I chuckled, offering him an insincere smile. I reached up and teased his short, well-styled hair, pushing it from his eyes and tucking it behind his ear. "Honestly, Stecks?" I began. "I might agree… one; if you were a girl. Two, if you weren't a total asshole all the time. Three, if you were a girl. Four, if you _weren't _a guy… and, five. If you were of the opposing gender of myself." I let my eyes droop slightly, pulling my hand back from his cheek where it'd preciously been, my smile completely gone and turned into a blank stare.

His face fell a little and the merry sparkle in his eyes faded. "But I really have feelings for you, Falin." He whispered. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. "At first… I admit, it was a dare." He began and my eyes narrowed all the more. "But after trying to get you to like me, and being nice to you and all, I started really noticing how much I really liked you." He stared at my chin for a moment, then dragged his gaze back up to check my expression.

I'm pretty sure it was blank, as I stared at him. I wasn't sure what to think. I wasn't gay. I didn't like Stecks. But he seemed genuine. Like he honestly meant every word he said. I sighed, leaning forward a little, forcing him to move back some with a pointed glare. "Stecks… I really am not fond of you… for being so cruel to me for all those years…" I sighed again. "But I'll go with you." I saw his thrilled expression and hurried on. "But just as friends… nothing more. I'm not gay, Stecks." I told him and his shoulders slumped slightly but he still nodded.

"Thanks, Falin." He smiled.

I nodded. "Whatever, Stecks." I replied.

"Call me Jordan." He grinned and I cringed.

"Uhhhhh, no."

**AN: Sooooooo, what'ya think'll happen? Is Stecks sincere when he says he has true feelings for Falin? Will Falin fall for him? Huh? Huh? HUH?! Please review! I love speculations! If you're wondering why Falin's trusting Stecks right now… well it's because Falin's willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Please review.**


	63. Year 4: Chapter 4

**Chapter four:**

**Yule Ball**

**POV: Jordan Stecks**

I was so nervous as I fiddled with my tie, waiting for Falin to finish messing with his hair. He sighed, flattening it with his hands again as he stared ruefully into the mirror. I smiled and came up behind him, wrapping my arms around his thin waist and resting my chin on his shoulder, pulling his tiny body closer to press it against mine. He was so small and seemed to fit perfectly in my arms. He seemed to think otherwise, trying to push me away. "Just friends, Stecks." He reminded.

I smirked playfully at his reflection and he stared at mine, our reflections looking each other in the eyes. "Yeah, but really, really, _really _good friends though, right?" I tried playfully, smirking the whole time, hoping my beaming smile would win him over.

He smiled, his thin lips curving only slightly. "You wish, now move back, you're messing up my hair again." He told me, pushing me back again and messing with his hair. He pouted into his reflection, obviously giving up. I thought he looked unbelievably adorable, his hair sticking up slightly in the back. I didn't like it perfectly straight.

I smirked, linking my arm with his and began walking him out. He slid his arm away and shot me a meaningful look. I sighed and contented myself with walking by his side, but made it my personal pleasure to brush our shoulders 'accidentally' on purpose every so often as we walked down the hall. He didn't seem to notice, as I made it seem like innocent contact. I couldn't wait until we got to dance. I wanted to see if he was a good dancer. I'd hold his hand, and put an arm around his waist, and he'd put his on my shoulder…

"Just to clear things up here and now, I will _not _be dancing with you." He warned without looking at me. I gaped at him, wondering how he'd known I'd been thinking of that right at that moment. Was he a Legilimens? But how? I was a trained Occlumens! It was unbelievable. I blocked my mind just in case, smiling and pretending to not notice that I realized this.

"Fine, but I think you may change your mind." I told him, patting his shoulder as we streamed into the great hall with the others.

"I doubt that very much." Falin grumbled quietly, standing by my side, staring as the doors opened once again and the four tri-wizard champions and their dates came out. As they began dancing, the others slowly trickled in until everyone was dancing. Except us. And professor Snape… but I suppose that was to be expected.

Falin seemed perfectly content to sit there and watch, reclined in his chair, fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves. He looked wonderful in his dress robes. They were black, which was normal, and it was a good color for him anyway, contrasting with his pale skin, but going well with his black hair.

I smirked at the adorable boy, suddenly feeling very impish. I moved over to him and poked his side. "Hey." I whispered, leaning over his shoulder and speaking into his ear. He stiffened and I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him from getting up.

"I'm not dancing with you, Stecks." He hissed and I laughed quietly into his ear.

"I don't expect you to. Come on, let's get out of the noise." I offered him my hand, and he stared at it. For a moment I thought he was going to refuse, but he did take it and so I began leading him out, weaving around people who'd taken a break from dancing to get a drink. I lead him out to the courtyard where the dark night sky looked down on us with thousands of brilliant stars.

We walked silently for a while down the pathway that was lit up with street lamps, occasionally seeing a stray couple sitting or standing, intertwined with one another, kissing. The carriages rocked back and forth and lord knows just what the hell people were doing in there.

I noticed with an amused snort that Snape was going from carriage to carriage, deducting points and sending couples on their way, only thinly veiling his annoyance as Igor Karkaroff or whatever his name was followed him around. I jumped, suddenly realizing we'd stopped to watch and could be discovered at any moment. I tightened my grip around Falin's hand and pulled. "Come on." I whispered and, to my surprise, Falin followed me without protest, if a bit of hesitation.

I finally stopped when we came to an empty, out-of-the-way alcove that had a bench in it. There was a lamp nearby and it shed enough light for us to see each other as we sat down. Falin stared at his little black boots as they scuffed the snow on the stone. I watched him quietly for a while. He was small. Even for his age. I supposed he was at least two years younger than me, though he looked more than that. And yet, we were in the same year. Perhaps he'd skipped a year or two? No. Probably not. I didn't even think that was possible.

I felt my hand going numb and only then did I realize we were still holding hands. His tiny, pale, ice cold hand was still locked gently in mine, ready to freeze my skin off. I blushed, hoping Falin wouldn't notice it, so he wouldn't pull away, or… what I _really _hoped was that he'd let me hold his hand because he liked it too.

The silence was uncomfortable, but not stifling. It was bearable. But for Falin… I think I could have managed a whole lot worse. I would have spoken, had I not been afraid it would frighten the small boy away. And besides, I wasn't sure what to say.

After a few more moments of silence, I decided a direct approach would be better than beating around the bush. Besides… I wasn't exactly known for meandering. I was direct, to the point.

I cleared my throat and turned toward Falin so that our knees were touching. He looked up at me from where he'd been staring at the ground. He had a faraway look in his eyes, as if he were thinking really hard about something. He blinked slowly, looking me directly in the eyes, and I stared right back at his deep, beautiful pits of darkness. It was his eyes that really got me. They were full of pain, mystery and wonder. They were beautiful.

"Falin," I began slowly, towering over the tiny boy even though we were sitting. He blinked solemnly, his expression blank. I fumbled with my hold on his limp hand and realized he wasn't holding my hand back, he just wasn't pulling away either. I stared awkwardly at his hand as I held it in my lap, rubbing circles gently over his perfect skin with my thumb. I gently turned his hand over and pulled his sleeve back some. He didn't stop me.

I felt my throat constrict at the sight of the hundreds of scars lining the otherwise perfect skin. I choked back something, thinking it was a sob, but not knowing why. I had caused these. Some of them anyway. The bigger ones. It was my fault. I looked up at him, my eyes glistening with tears. He was still staring at me, no known emotion on his face, his piercing black gaze looking deep into my soul.

It was then that I felt it. A tiny whisper in my mind. An almost invisible presence. I opened my mind completely to him, let him feel the guilt I was feeling, let him know it was I that gave him those notes a year-two years back, whenever it was, that had told him to kill himself. He didn't stare at me in contempt, as he should have. He didn't exactly eye me with love or welcome either, but at least he didn't openly hate me.

"I'm s-so s-sorry… Falin. I was s-stupid, I shouldn't have d-done it." I whispered, stuttering madly, clinging to his arm, my hand grasped gently over his thin wrist, feeling the veins beat rhythmically under the scars beneath my finger tips. "Please, please can you ever forgive me?" I whispered, my voice thick as I felt the tears begin to slide. I couldn't believe myself! I was acting so… so… compassionate. So _girly_, so emotional. How had I ever changed? _When_ had I ever changed? Was it because of Falin? Was what I said to him before the ball true? Did I honestly have feelings for him, or had I just been messing with his head again?

I thought for a while. I could have had practically any other girl in the school, as they'd been following me about ever since the ball had been announced. Why had I, instead, asked Falin? Certainly not just because I wanted to actually go with him and have a good time? Then why had I asked? Why had he accepted? Why had we gone through with it?

I blinked slowly, brought out of my thoughts because Falin was speaking. "-don't think you're lying… so… yes. I forgive you." He was saying. I'd missed the first part of his sentence, and for all I know he could have been talking the whole time I'd been thinking, but I'd heard the 'don't' before the 'think you're lying' and that was enough for me.

Without even thinking, I jumped forward, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him, burying my face in his soft hair, letting tears of relief fall. He surprised me by wrapping his thin arms around my waist, hugging me back. It wasn't a hesitant hug either. It was a real hug.

I pulled back slowly, so that we were no longer hugging, but our arms were still around each other, and our faces were close, looking into each other's eyes. I slowly leaned forward, not expecting him to let me kiss him, but wanting to try anyway. I hesitated, and, to my surprise, Falin closed the space between us, gently locking our lips, closing his eyes.

It took me a moment to recover from surprise before I fluttered my eyes closed and kissed him back, moving my arms around his waist and pulling him closer as he put his arms around my neck and did the same. His lips were as soft as I remembered them, and tasted bittersweet. He was a slow kisser. His lips played softly and slowly over mine, almost delicately.

The kiss lasted about as long as when I had kissed him in the dorms, which had been a good minute or so. It was long, slow and sweet, his hand gently running through my hair. I gripped his thin waist more tightly, scared he'd leave me. He made no move to leave, instead deepened the kiss. I pushed him back gently so he was laying back on the bench. I lay over top of him, one hand on either side of his head so that my full weight wasn't pressing down on him.

I pulled back and began kissing his neck. He stiffened slightly, but didn't protest. I didn't want to overwhelm him, no matter how much I wanted more, so I kissed his jaw, slowly making my way back up his soft lips, sucking on his bottom lip. I played my tongue over his lip and he opened his mouth, allowing me entrance. I pushed my tongue in, memorizing his mouth again, remembering and missing it from the last time. Only this time, he went along with it.

And then suddenly, there was a light shining in our faces and a voice booming in our ears. "What on Earth is going on here?!" Falin pushed me off him quickly and sat up. We both stared up at Severus Snape, who's eyes were wide as he held up his lit wand, pointed at our faces. I glanced at Falin and saw a look of pure horror on his face, black eyes glowing blue in the light of the lit wand. I swallowed hard and looked up at Severus Snape as he stared right back, equally horrified.

**AN: Soooo, what do you think? Does Falin truly like Stecks, or is there more behind it? How will Sev' react to finding his son making out with another dude? SPECULSTIONS PEOPLE! Kay, luv you, bye.**

**OH! If you want to know what the characters look like, go here; wiki/The_Boy_No_One_Knew**


	64. Year 4: Chapter 5

**Chapter five:**

**He Needed It**

**POV: Severus Snape**

"What on Earth is going on here?!" I cried, horrified as I stared at my son, _my son, _kissing a boy. _A boy! _Falin pushed the other boy off of him quickly, sitting up and staring at me and I immediately recognized the other boy. Jordan Stecks. Stecks' face was terrified, Falin's – horrified. The difference was only slight, but there _was_ a difference.

Stecks looked like he thought I was going to murder them. Falin looked like he thought I was going to disown him. Both aspects crossed my mind as I stood there, wide-eyed, trying to find my tongue long enough to demand an explanation. I snapped my jaw shut, which had been hanging open. I let out a small growl and stepped forward, yanking Stecks to his feet and growling for him to get back to his dorm. He obeyed immediately, not even throwing Falin a backward glance as he made a mad dash for the castle.

I turned back to Falin, who was sitting on the bench, leaning forward, his head hanging low, his face covered in his hands. I thought I heard choked sobs coming from him. I stared down at him, wand still lit and raised as my mind raced. What had I just witnessed? My son. Kissing another boy, and from the looks of it, had I not walked in just then, would it have gone any further? Why? Why would he do that?

I stared down at him in confusion, running my free hand through my hair before I sat down next to him, also leaning forward, resting my elbows on my knees. I stared at my still lit wand as I clutched it, slowly turning it in my hands, waiting for my son to offer an explanation. I wasn't sure I wanted to ask for one myself.

But after several minutes went by and nothing happened but the extreme thickness in the atmosphere intensifying, I decided he wasn't going to offer an explanation and I needed to break the silence before it suffocated us. I cleared my throat, turning to look at him. He was still hunched forward, as if in pain, his fingers running through his hair and pulling at it slightly, his whole body shaking.

I sighed and turned my wand off, slipping it back up my sleeve, turning to face my son and gently resting a hand on his tiny shoulder. He flinched at my touch, but didn't pull away. "Falin-" I began as gently as I could, all the while I wanted to take him by the shoulders and shake him and… well, I wasn't quite sure what else. "Falin, look at me." I told him. It pained me to see him pull his head up to stare at me, tears burning down his face.

I sighed again, forcing myself to look him in the eye, rubbing his back gently for comfort. "Falin, is there… anything you want to talk about?" I tried. He shook his head quickly. It was a stupid question anyway, of course he didn't _want_ to talk about it. "Well then, there's… a lot, I want to talk about. Would you mind… telling me just what I walked into?" I blinked slowly, trying to keep my head level.

Falin stared at me for a moment before biting his lip and looking down. He reached up and wiped his eyes. I winced just watching him rub so hard against the sensitive skin. It was always raw after he cried, but he didn't so much as flinch. He sniffed, wiping the bloody tears off his fingers onto his nice, clean dress pants.

"I don't know." He finally managed, his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. I had to lean towards him slightly to hear it.

I thought for a moment, hand still on his back, feeling the cold of his skin seeping through the thin material, feeling his body shivering and trembling. "You don't know…" I puzzled that. "So… he… you, right?" I asked haltingly, asking if it were Stecks who had kissed Falin, and Falin had been too surprised to pull back, or too scared. Maybe Stecks bullied him into it? Perhaps Stecks made Falin do other things too. The thought sent chills down my spine, and anger began to rise in the pit of my stomach.

It was then that I realized Falin was shaking his head slowly. "No. I kissed him." He whispered.

I faltered at that. "Falin, why on Earth would you- I mean, you… but…" I stopped, remembering Miriad Hensul. The girl who had done to Falin what Lily Evans had done to me. She'd left him for someone else. Of course, Lily and I had never been together… we'd been friends. Nothing more. Falin and Miriad… had been more. Miriad had sexual relations with another boy while she and Falin were still together. And now she was paying for it, and so was Falin.

I sighed, wondering if Falin were just very confused about love now, after all that had happened to him, what with Orl Schond, Miriad, and lord knows what else had been happening behind my back. I liked to think that I had Falin relatively protected, and that I knew everything, or most everything about his life. But thinking back, I knew practically nothing, other than that which he confided in me. He told me his feelings… not the everyday happenings of his life. Perhaps he had tried to tell me before and I simply hadn't been listening? I hoped not. Because if that were so, what Falin said about me was true. I didn't listen. I didn't care.

But of course I cared! "Do you… want to tell me why?" I asked carefully, thinking he may either say, 'because I love him!' which I dreaded to hear or 'he made me do it' or even 'he surprised me and I didn't have time to pull away before you rounded the bend'. What he actually said made me pause for a moment.

"Because." He began, very slowly, very seriously. "He needed it."

He needed it. He needed it? What? I furrowed my brow in confusion. "What do you mean?" I questioned.

He shrugged slowly, raising his thin shoulders only slightly before they slumped again. He rubbed his hands together awkwardly, staring at the ground, his head tilted slightly. So that was it. He needed it. He wasn't going to give me anything better than that? I sighed, shaking my head slowly. Sometimes Falin said and did the strangest things…

I sighed, patting him awkwardly on the back once more. "Well… come on." I murmured, standing up. I looked down at him as he stared up at me, before he too stood and followed me back to the castle.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

The true reason I kissed Stecks, wasn't because he needed it, but because _I_ needed it. I was scared. Scared of everything. Scared of what Stecks would have done had I not let him kiss me. Scared that I would never find love again. Scared that if I let myself fall in love with another girl, things would turn out the same as they did with Miriad. I wasn't gay. I wasn't attracted to males in any way. I was just scared. I was scared of finding love, but terrified of never being loved again. Stecks had loved me, he had confessed that he loved me. He was the only one who had loved me at that time and I had desperately needed his love. I was so confused and jumbled, I didn't know what to do. So I had kissed him. And father had walked right into it.

"What's wrong?" I looked up from the book I'd had my nose buried in, sitting in a secluded corner of the abandoned girls lavatory. I quickly wiped my eyes, but it was no use, the girl had already seen my tears. She looked oddly familiar, not that I could say I knew her name. Looking upon the elegant beauty, I saw that she too looked like she had been crying.

I stared down at the floor. "I'm fine." I whispered, horrified that my voice betrayed me as it wavered and was laced with tears.

She smiled at me weakly, padding over to me softly and sitting down next to me. She let out a weak laugh, shaking her head. "Tough love, huh?" She whispered, her voice slightly hoarse.

I smiled ruefully. "If only you knew." I breathed, staring at my knees as I hugged them to my chest.

"You're… Falin Cerenbus, right? Professor Snape's son?"

I looked up at her sharply. "How did you-"

She cut me off with a weak smile. "Hermione Granger. We met in the first year… well, we never actually met." She conceded, looking thoughtful. "I was in the Hospital Wing when you-" Her face fell and she stared awkwardly at the floor. "Well, you know…"

I nodded slowly, knowing what she was talking about. I blushed furiously. "How many other students know about that?" I cried, feeling horrified that others may know.

"Me, Harry, Ron-"

"Uh?" I gave her a wide-eyed look.

"Don't, worry… they can keep a secret. Well, Harry can. By now, Ron's probably forgotten completely about it." She continued hurriedly.

I sighed and nodded, resting my chin on my knees.

**POV: Hermione Granger**

"So… what are you doing in here?" I asked gently, feeling odd about finally having a conversation with the boy I had only known about and seen close up once, several years back.

Looking at him closely as I sat at his side, I realized just how tiny the black-eyed Slytherin was. In fact, he hadn't grown at all in the four years since I'd first seen him. It was almost frightening. He was also very pale, his skin looking sickly. If you could believe it, he was even paler than he'd been that day in the Medical Wing.

"Hiding." He replied so quietly I had to lean towards him to hear.

I smiled sympathetically. "This is where I go to cry too." I admitted.

"I wasn't crying!" He cried defiantly, his eyes flicking up to me. I stared at his pale face, the red streaks under his eyes labeling him as a liar, but I merely smiled and made no comment. He was, after all, a Slytherin. They had their pride.

"I'm hiding because Ron-" I stopped, choking on the words, staring gloomily down at the floor. "…was being his usual self." I sighed, then turned to him. "What about you?"

"I'm hiding from my father." he admitted with a shudder. "And Stecks…" He mumbled, and I only just barely made out his words.

I smiled sadly. "Did your father catch you and your date… Stecks, was it? Doing something you shouldn't?" I was only half joking, but was startled when he looked up at me with a wide-eyed expression, and my comment had obviously hit close to home.

"Yeah." He chuckled. "You could say that. And _he," _He emphasized Stecks' gender, eyeing me for a moment. "wasn't my date. Neither of us had dates, so we went together just as friends, and father walked in on… something I'd rather not admit right now, and Stecks sort of… ditched me."

I nodded slowly, staring at the floor. I looked up when suddenly the door opened and in stepped Harry. He moved over to me hesitantly, seemingly not noticing Cerenbus' small form as he sat next to me, his dark clothing and hair blending well with the dark room.

"Hermione? I-I'm sorry, about Ron he's just… a coward. I'm really sorry he upset you." Harry murmured, moving to stand in front of me, still not noticing Cerenbus as he sat there.

I looked up at him and managed a small smile. "It's fine Harry, I had someone to talk to… helped cool me down." I replied.

"Who…?" Harry asked. I looked up to see his confused expression.

I heard a tiny sound come from Cerenbus that sounded like him clearing his throat. Harry's eyes shifted over to my side and he leaned forward. Cerenbus tipped his head back so that his black hair no longer covered his pale face which was wreathed in the darkness of the room. Harry's eyes widened momentarily as recognition flitted behind his eyes.

"Cerenbus…?" His gaze moved back to me and he raised his eyebrows, though thankfully said nothing.

I just shrugged. "He was kind enough to let me talk to him." I replied quietly.

Harry nodded and moved to sit in front of me, facing us both, looking awkwardly back and forth between us. I looked up again when I heard the door opening once again to see a very concerned looking Malfoy. My eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks, staring at the small congregation.

"Malfoy?" I cried and Harry turned around to stare as well.

Draco just stood there, staring, his mouth opening and closing slowly. "Uhm, Falin?" He called, ignoring me, his eyes roaming the darkness.

"Right here." Falin called out quietly, his soft voice echoing lightly around the room.

Draco shifted his weight impatiently, standing at the door. "Um, are you coming back to the dorms, Falin?" He asked.

"Come join us, don't be shy." Falin murmured, moving closer to me and patting a pale hand on the floor beside him. Draco glanced uncertainly at me and Harry before hesitantly moving into the room. He padded over to his friend and sat down beside him, staring awkwardly at Harry.

"Hello." Harry and I said at the same time, our voices low as we tried to avoid eye contact at all costs.

Malfoy let out a low grunt in reply, moving to stare at Falin, his expression softening considerably. He obviously cared a great deal about the tiny, pale boy. "Falin, are you okay? What happened? You kind of disappeared on me." He murmured.

Falin shrugged. "You were having fun with Greengrass, Stecks and I were bored, so we went out for some air." He replied and I suddenly felt very awkward and out of place in the conversation. I shared a look with harry and he nodded, slowly standing. He offered me a hand and I took it, slowly standing up. "Wait!" Falin cried and I turned around to see his hand pitifully hanging in the air after me. "Please don't go." He murmured. "You're comforting." He added awkwardly as an explanation.

I glanced at Harry, who looked as surprised as I felt. The dark glare Draco was giving me sent me mixed signals. Was he warning me not to stay, or was he warning me to not dare leave because his friend requested that I stay? I stared at the pleading look Falin was giving me before slowly taking his outstretched hand and sitting back down next to him, my mind trying to recover from the shock of ice that went up my arm through my hand from his touch.

I glanced at Draco to see if I'd made the right decision. Though he looked thoroughly disgusted by my presence, he also looked genuinely grateful. I offered him the best smile I could manage. Harry cleared his throat awkwardly and took his leave when no one protested. I couldn't help but smirk. _Poor Harry. No one wants him to stay._ _Oh well, better let someone else share the fame for a while, eh Harry?_

I sat in silence as Draco once again asked Falin to confirm his wellbeing.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

"Hey, you okay?"

I turned and smiled at Draco. "Hey." I replied.

"You okay?" he asked again, leaning against the wall, completely ignoring Granger's presence and choosing to ignore that she was still gently holding my hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied distractedly, staring at her hand thoughtfully, playing with her fingers like a child.

Draco narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

I looked up at him. "What? I'm fine."

"Yeah, sure." he said sarcastically.

I furrowed my brow, looking up at him. "Honestly, I'm just a little tired and have a lot on my mind, but I'm fine." I told him seriously.

"Right, whatever." he shook his head.

Granger was beginning to look like she felt misplaced in the conversation, but I squeezed her hand gently to let her know her presence was still noticed and appreciated.

"Why won't you believe me?" I cried.

"Because, you've lied about being fine in the past." he told me calmly, leaning against the wall again.

"Well, I'm not lying now." I replied stubbornly, starting to get frustrated with him.

"Okay." he replied unconvincingly.

"I'm _fine." _I insisted.

"I believe you." he assured me.

"No you don't."

"The more you try to convince me you're fine, the less I believe you."

"See?! I knew you hadn't let it go yet!" I cried, though I wasn't exactly proud of being right this time.

"Like I said, the more you try to convince, the less convincing you are."

"I'm not even trying anymore, and you still don't believe me."

"So what's wrong?" he asked again, ignoring my last comment.

I let out a frustrated sound, glaring at him. "Truth be told, I was fine before you started pestering me about problems that don't exist, but other than that, I'm _fine. _Completely and one hundred percent _fine." _ I hissed.

He stared at me thoughtfully for a long moment, seeming to study my features, tracing them for any signs of deception. "Fine, don't tell me."

"Are you freaking kidding me?!" I cried after him as he stood and walked away. "_Seriously?! _I'm _fine, _Draco! Just _fucking_ dandy!" I screamed after him, my voice echoing in the empty bathroom, earning myself a curious glance from Granger. I ignored her, huffing and slumping, muttering dark nothings under my breath as Draco completely left the room.

I sighed and turned to Granger after a moment. "Sorry you had to see that." I apologized with a sheepish grin.

She smiled at me, looking more than a little amused. "It's fine. It's obvious he cares for you." She replied.

I nodded. "Yeah, a little too much sometimes. He's very stubborn." I replied fondly, staring after my best friend. I sighed and turned back to her. "Well, I'm glad to have finally had a decent conversation with you, miss Granger." I told her, genuine respect in my voice, squeezing her hand again.

"I as well, thank you." She replied.

I stood and helped her to her feet, ashamed to admit that once she was standing, I had to look _up_ at her. I glanced down, hoping she was wearing heels, until I noticed her feet were bare and that she clutched her shoes in her other hand. I sighed and slumped my shoulders, giving up all hope of ever being taller than _anyone. _

We left the bathroom together rather awkwardly, then stood outside it for a moment. "Goodnight, Hermione." I offered with a genuine smile.

"Good night, Falin." She smiled back.

I turned to walk away, but couldn't resist turning back to her and throwing my arms around her middle. "Thank you." I whispered, feeling her shock. She hesitated for a moment before patting me on the back.

"It's fine. Everyone needs someone to talk to." She murmured.

I smiled as I pulled away, sheepish for my actions, but not at all ashamed of stealing a hug from the pretty Gryffindor. "Goodnight." With that, I turned and raced off, leaving her staring after me.

**…**

Stecks was so terrified that father would kill him if he caught us again, that he avoided me like the plague from then on, no longer bothering me in the slightest. I couldn't say that I minded, as Stecks was two-faced to say the least. But I found myself missing the company of his sweet side every now and again. Just his sweet side. Not his snappy and rude side, or his cruel and mean side. Just the side he had shown me for a brief moment. I would cling to that, knowing I was one of the only people alive to have ever had the pleasure of meeting that side of him.

I sighed, throwing my things in my bag as I packed up at the end of the fourth year. My fifteenth birthday was coming up in a month. And I had a whole new thing to worry about.

**AN: So, do you think he'll make it passed his fifteenth birthday? Remember how much I like speculations? Well then, for the love of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, SPECULATE!**


	65. Summer break Chapter 1

**Chapter one: **

**Summerbreak/**

**Purebloods. Halfbloods. Mudbloods**

**POV: Hermione Granger**

"Are you serious? I mean, are you being serious right now?" Ron cried, getting in my way for the fifth time that evening.

I sighed and pushed him away. "I'm completely serious, Ron. Now please, you're getting in my way."

"But _Hermione." _Ron whined. "You said you were going to spend your summer with us."

"I did, Ron, but that was before I was asked to go and stay for a while with Falin's family."

"Do you have to? How do we even know him? I don't remember him! What's his name again? And why were you invited and not us?" Ron got in my way again.

I glared at him and moved swiftly around him, well-aware of the fact that Harry was staying carefully out of the conversation. "His name is Falin Cerenbus. He's a very sweet little boy and I want to get to know him better. He sent me an owl yesterday asking if I could come over for a week or two and I got permission to go. Deal with it.'

"Your parents are letting you stay over at a boys house, for a whole week?" Ron cried.

"Hush Ron, yes, they are. Besides, he has five sisters, it's not like we're going to be alone any of the time." I sighed, wondering how Ron would take it if he knew that Severus Snape was Falin's father. I had never said anything about it to Ron or Harry, unsure if that was information professor Snape wanted to be advertised. Besides, despite what I'd said to Falin about Ron and Harry that night after the Yule, the two boys couldn't keep a secret that big to save their lives.

"But what are Harry and I going to do without you to keep us out of trouble?" Ron tried, smirking at me, thinking I wouldn't be able to resist a summer of bossing them around. He was surely mistaken. I would do just about _anything _to get a few weeks away from the troublemakers.

I smiled at him. "You'll manage." I moved around him, grabbing my bags. "Now, Falin lives really far away, about a three day train ride away, if I'm not mistaken, so it'll take me a while to get there." I left out the part about stopping halfway there to meet Falin's father. He would apparate us the rest of the way there.

Ron groaned.

"Bye, Ron. See you, Harry." I bid them goodbye, leaving the room, going down the stairs, leaving the house and getting in the car. Father would drive me to the train station.

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"But why the _mudblood?" I_ whined _again _and it was Falin's last straw.

He turned on me, eyes blazing. "I get it, Draco, you don't want to be here when I need you just because some muggleborn girl is going to be here too. Go home, then." He snapped, turning to go back to what he was doing.

"Falin, I never said I'm leaving… but why Granger?!" I persisted, hurt that he thought I would just... _leave. _

"She's my friend." He offered.

"Since when?"

"That day in the bathroom after the Yule-"

"Seriously? What the hell did you two talk about in there that makes you so chummy all of a sudden?!" I cried, wildly waving my arms around.

"She comforted me when I had no one else to do it. Kinda like you have been over the years. I'm sorry if our friendship bothers you, Draco, but I've never had more than one person my own age that I felt this strongly connected to… and I want to spend time with the both of you before I die. So deal with it." _That_ got me to shut up.

He turned on his heel, leaving me staring after him as he stormed down the stairs.

**POV: Falin Cerenbus Snape**

"So… who's your new lady-friend?" Mirianda teased, holding Jaybin in her arms.

I sighed and glared up at her, looking up from the book I had in my lap, sitting in father's library. She was sitting across from me, also reading, whilst trying to feed Jaybin at the same time.

"She's not my _lady-friend." _I grumbled. "She's…" I thought for a moment. "I don't know. I just… she's very comforting to me." I offered with a shrug.

"Kay… so what's her name?" She asked, smiling and making faces at Jaybin, getting the little girl to squeal with delighted laughter.

"Hermione."

"Hermione….?"

"Granger. Hermione Granger."

"I don't recognize that last name… is she a halfblood?" Mirianda asked, scrunching up her brow.

"No… she's um… a muggleborn." I coughed, trying to hide the 'muggle' part.

"Huh? Didn't catch that?" She looked up from Jaybin.

I glared at her. If she made any wisecracks about mudbloods, I swear… "She's muggleborn." I said again.

_"Excuse me?_ And father is allowing this?" She may be one of the sweetest people on Earth, but she certainly was her mother's daughter when it came to 'mudbloods'. It was surprising she got along so well with Kelly and Susan.

"Yes, he is allowing it, so shut up about it. And I want no rude remarks while she's here, I've had enough of that from Draco today already. She's my friend. I'm sick of all this blood purity nonsense, it's as bad as racism, if you ask me." I glared at her defiantly, picking my book up again.

"Fine, whatever. I'm going up to my room." She mumbled, standing and walking away.

I sighed and slumped my shoulders, staring blindly at the page.

**POV: Hermione Granger**

I sighed, drumming my fingers on the wall, staring out the window as the scenery flew by. The conductor said that the train would be stopping in about an hour. I'd already been riding it all day, and I was getting restless, even with the books I had brought. I had a whole compartment to myself, and no one to talk to. Not that I'd be partial on conversing with a complete stranger, but anything was better than sitting alone in the dratted train compartment.

I sighed again. At least I'd be getting off in what, an hour? I glanced at my watch. Make that half an hour. Time really did pass quickly when in deep thought. I'd have to remember that. I sighed and leaned back, staring at the ceiling, wondering for the thousandth time since I'd gotten that letter why Falin had decided to invite _me _of all people to stay with his family for a while. It just didn't make sense.

One, he was Slytherin, I was Gryffindor. Two, he was pureblood (for all I knew) and I was a 'mudblood'. Three, we had never even spoken to each other until that night of the Yule ball. The list could go on and on…

My eyes snapped open when the train came to a slow halt. I glanced at my watch in surprise to find that it was indeed time to get off and meet professor Snape. I sighed and stood, slowly stretching out my sore muscles, before reaching up and grabbing my bag, then left the compartment and followed the crowd off the train.

As soon as I got off, I began scanning the crowd for the dark man who should stand out blatantly among everyone else, but I didn't see him. Had he forgotten? "Oh Merlin, I hope not." I muttered, moving through the crowd some, eyes darting about.

"Miss Granger." I let out a tiny squeak as I was pulled from the crowd. I stumbled, looking up at professor Snape as he stared down at me, his usual scowl as a greeting. "This way, miss Granger, please do keep up. I do not wish to fish you from the crowd again." He murmured, turning. I hurried to follow him, struggling with my heavy bag.

"I did not question Falin's reasons behind requesting your presence, but I will warn you know… he is a very unstable person… and you must be very sensitive to him and his unusual requests. If he asks you to do something… by all means, Granger, please do it." He glanced down at me and I nodded. "If he tells you to leave him alone, leave him alone… especially if you wish to leave with all of your limbs intact. He has a fierce temper at times. And since you will be with him most of the time… and, I am loathe to admit you are one of my more… responsible… students, I request that you try and keep him out of trouble."

"Yes… of course, professor." I agreed quietly, struggling to carry my bag, as I could no longer levitate it, what with the muggle-filled streets. He must have noticed my struggled because he took it from me with ease and I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." I murmured, but he did not respond.

After walking for a few minutes, he glanced around and put a hand on my shoulder, pushing me ahead of him down an old alleyway. Were it not for my complete trust in the dark man, I would actually be frightened for my safety in the creepy old place. I swallowed, my eyes darting about. "I trust you have apparated before, miss Granger?" He questioned, glancing up and down the street casually, though I knew he was looking for anyone who might be there to witness it.

"Of course." I replied.

"Good." He held out his arm and I took it, instantly feeling the tugging, pulling sensation of apparition. I stumbled only slightly when we landed in the backyard of some old building. "Keep up." He informed me, already moving ahead. I hurried after him, and my eyes never stopped moving about. The old town looked deserted, save for a select few old houses here and there. I moved sub-consciously closer to the professor when I spotted a creepy old man staring at us. Namely me.

"Um. Professor? Where are we?" I asked, looking up at him.

"We are in the town of Devil's Abode. I would not be surprised if even you have never heard of it. It is an old muggle town, named for the supposed 'devils' who used to live here. These said 'devils' were merely wizards who weren't smart enough to hide their magic from the muggles. Only a few stubborn old muggles have yet to desert this place. The majority of the population lives down that way." He gestured vaguely in the opposite direction in which we were walking.

"Fascinating." I murmured. I smiled as we stopped in front of a beautiful old house with a rather lovely garden in front of it. It was a quaint old place, but grand in comparison to some of the neighboring houses. "Is this where you live, professor?" I asked conversationally as we walked up the front steps.

"Obviously, miss Granger, why else would we be stopping here?" he growled back.

I sighed. "It's a lovely home." I murmured, trying to keep the peace, but it was hard, as the professor was obviously not too pleased about my presence.

The door opened before the professor could even reach for the handle, and there stood little Falin, a bright smile on his face. "Hermione! Come on." He grabbed my hand and pulled me forward, going into the house and making an immediate turn, going up an old stone stairwell. I stared in wonder for a moment at the long hallway after we left the stairwell, but he immediately pulled me down the left end of the hall and into a room, where three other children were already seated on the floor, playing with muggle cards.

"She's here!" Falin announced, pulling me in the room. Everyone turned to stare at me and I realized I recognized two of them. One was Draco Malfoy (oh joy) and the other I recognized as Illumine Cerenbus, supposedly Falin's twin sister, however she was probably older than him, being as she was taller. The other girl, I'd never seen before.

"Hello!" They all greeted cheerfully, minus Draco, who merely leveled me a hefty glare.

Illumine jumped up and rushed to me excitedly. "Hi! I'm Illumine, but you can call me Lumin, or Lumi, but only if I really like you, and so far I really like you, so you can call me Lumi, what's your name? Are you Falin's girlfriend? He's been talking about you nonstop for days, what's your name? Do you like my brother? Do you like the house?"

I stepped back, stunned by the stream of questions, not knowing anyone could talk that fast. Ever. And I had known some pretty hyperactive people in my life.

_"Lumi. _Give her a chance to breathe, will you?" Falin laughed, lovingly side-hugging his sister.

I smiled in amusement at the little girl. "Hi Lumi, I'm Hermione. No, I'm not Falin's girlfriend." I saw him blush furiously at that. "He's been talking about me? Is that so?" I glanced at him, smiling and he blushed further. "Like I said, my name is Hermione, yes, I like your brother, he's very nice and I love the house! It's lovely." I tried to answer all the questions I could remember.

Lumin smiled brightly. "Kay, come play with us!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me over to sit with them.

"Now Lumi, remember, she's Falin's guest." The other girl reminded gently. "I'm Susan, by the way." She smiled at me and I smiled back, sitting down next to Lumin, feeling Falin sit down between me and Draco.

"Pleased to meet you." I smiled at her. I looked around briefly, realizing this must be Falin's room. It was neat and tidy, and the walls were painted a dark grey that gave it a gloomy feel. The bed was old, and the covers were plain, as well as the furniture. There was a single window, and a poster on the opposite side that was of the Hogwarts emblem, with all four house symbols. He had spell books neatly stacked in a small bookshelf, along with many other little books, and had his wizard robes hung neatly from the bedpost.

"Is this your room, Falin?" I asked after a moment. He glanced up at me from the muggle card game they were playing and nodded, smiling slightly. I smiled back and looked down at the cards. "What are we playing?" I asked.

"Poker." All four of them replied at the same time, staring at their cards.

"Poker? The muggle game?" I questioned, merely because I was surprised a pureblooded family like the Snape's would have anything muggle in their house.

"That's right, Granger. We're playing poker, a lowly muggle game. Care to join us?" Draco couldn't help but cut in.

"Draco, may I remind you that _I _am a muggle?" Susan growled, slowly turning to give Draco the dirtiest look I had ever seen.

Draco shrank under the look, but tried to hide it. "So what?" He muttered, staring at the cards in his hands.

"Here, I'll deal you in." Falin muttered, handing me some cards.

"I don't know how to play." I told him.

Draco turned to smirk at me. "Really? Something the high and mighty Gryffindor bookworm doesn't know? And of muggle decent no less? I'd go weak at the knees were I not already sitting."

"Oh shove it, Malfoy." I muttered.

He merely smirked and continued playing. Through the rest of the game, Lumin and Falin, who sat on either side of me, gave me tips and showed me how to play, much to Susan and Draco's, namely Draco's, chagrin.

"No, don't tell her that, you want to win, or be beat by her?" And "Stop giving her hints!" Were only some of the things coming from his mouth for the rest of the evening.

There was a light tap on the door while we were in the midst of putting the cards away. "Dears? Dinner's ready!" A beautiful woman in her mid-thirties called, peeking her head through the door. She had dark blue eyes and long, wavy brown hair. She looked a lot like Susan, and I figures she must be Susan, Illumine and Falin's mother.

We all stood and moved to the door, me following closely behind Falin as I was most certain I'd get lost in the big house. I was stopped at the door by the pretty woman, who flashed me a brilliant smile. "Hey sweetie, I'm Annenia, you must be miss Granger?" She asked, shaking my hand delicately. Fleetingly, I thought of how delightful the woman was, and wondered how she could possibly be Snape's wife. Had I ever thought him the kind of man to even have a family, I would have thought his wife would have been as cold and depressing as he was. I silently cursed myself for judging a book by it's cover, so to speak.

"Delighted to meet you, Miss Snape." I murmured, feeling slightly humbled in the beautiful woman's presence.

She let out a merry laugh as she led me down the stairs. "Darling, call me Anne."

I smiled and took the empty seat to Falin's left, as Draco was sitting to his right. I was slightly surprised how many people were in the kitchen, sitting around the large table. The table seated ten, and every seat was filled, plus one, and a half, if you counted the tiny baby in the one girl's lap. At the head of the table sat Severus Snape, to his left sat Draco, next to Draco was Falin, then me, then Lumin, at the foot of the table sat Annenia, to her left was a little girl who could be no older than five, to the little girl's left sat a young girl of about fifteen, and a little baby sat in her lap, to her left sat a young man I didn't recognize, to his left sat Susan, and to Susan's left, another girl who looked a lot like Annenia, and then it was back to Severus. Was this his family? If so, it was a very large family indeed.

Whilst we were eating (it was delicious, some of my favorite muggle delicacies, by the way) Annenia asked me a few questions about myself. "Mm, I'm sorry darling, I've been asking you questions and I've not properly introduced you to everyone." Annenia looked at me apologetically.

"It's fine." I assured her when she looked upset with herself.

"Alright, of course you know my husband, Severus. He's one of your professors, am I right?" When I nodded, she continued. "And then you know Draco, right?"

I turned and scowled at Draco. "Yeah… we know each other." His smirk widened when I scowled at him further.

"And of course, Falin."

"Of course." I smiled at the tiny raven-haired boy and he shot me a shy smile, then went back to merely staring at his plate, not really eating anything.

"And Lumin."

"Oh yes, we met earlier." I laughed, smiling at the little girl.

"And me, and then this is our youngest, Serenia, say hi, Serenia."

"Hi, Serenia." The little girl repeated dutifully, making everyone at the table -even Snape, to my surprise- laugh.

"Okay, that's good enough." Annenia laughed. "And this is Mirianda, and her daughter, Jaybin." Annenia gestured the girl whom was only about a year or two at best older than myself. "And then her boyfriend, Koteis." She gestured the young man next to them. "And you know Susan?"

"Yes, I do." I smiled at Susan and she flashed me a smile similar to her mother's as she piled some salad onto her plate.

"And then, our eldest, Kelly." She finished, pointing to the girl on the end, next to her father. She smiled at me in turn and I smiled back and everyone resumed eating. Snape really did have a big family. I couldn't help but love them right away.

After dinner, we all congregated in the living room for a session of loud storytelling, where the teller was interrupted every few lines by a curious question from one of the younger children, or interrupted by a burst of laughter from the listeners when the story was funny. To my surprise and delight, Snape could tell a pretty good scary story and had all his children cowering behind whoever was next to them, in Falin and Lumin's cases, me and Draco. He even had _me _scared at one point in the story.

By the time story time was over, the little ones were sleeping soundly, and I was about ready to join them.

"Time for bed." Annenia announced without need. I helped Illumine and Serenia up to their room, as they were both falling asleep on their feet, but it took a lot of goading to get Lumin to at least tell me where it was. It took me a good five minutes to get a reasonable answer out of her, as her sleepy replies were difficult to understand, but the task was finally done.

"Where will I sleep, Anne?" I asked when everyone was lined up for the bathroom to either shower at the one across from Falin's room, or brush their teeth at the one in front of Lumin and Serenia's room.

Anne stopped for a moment, staring at me, deep in thought. "Well let's see, Susan and Kelly don't really have any room in their room, Lumi and Serenia don't have any room in theirs either, Koteis and Miria don't, gee, I'd hate to put you downstairs, let me ask my husband. SEV!" She called.

"What?" I heard his muffled reply from a different room.

"Where will Hermione sleep tonight? I don't really fell comfortable putting her-"

"WHAT?"

Annenia raised her voice. "I SAID 'WHERE WILL HERMIONE SLEEP TONGIGHT?"

"WHO?"

_"HERMIONE!"_

"Mooooom, quit yelling!" Susan complained.

Snape appeared right then. "What?" He asked again.

"Honey, where will Hermione sleep tonight? I don't really feel comfortable with her sleeping in the guest room downstairs by herself tonight, or any of the time she's here, for the matter, and all the girl's rooms are too small to fit her in." She explained to her husband.

His eyes turned to me and I shifted uncomfortably, dodging Susan and Kelly as they argued and chased each other about.

"No! It's mine, give it back! MUM! Make her give me my makeup back!" Kelly was yelling.

"Oh, not now, guys, it's time for bed, tone it down…"

"I suppose she could stay with Falin and Draco in Falin's room." Snape replied after a moment.

"Really? You want to stick her with the boys?" Annenia gave me an amused look and I smiled helplessly back.

Snape shrugged, already heading back towards his bedroom. "Why not? There's enough room in there for her." He was saying.

"Okay, well… I can get a sleeping bag for you if you didn't bring one-"

"No mum, she can use the spare mattress under our bed." Kelly offered.

"There's a spare mattress under your bed?"

"Yup."

"Okay, that's dealt with." She turned back to me. "Hun, did you bring a toothbrush and stuff?" She asked.

"Oh, yeah." I replied awkwardly.

"Just waiting for the line to the bathroom to clear up? I understand." She replied. "If you need help with anything, Sev' and I are in the room down the hall, just next to Falin's room, 'kay? Goodnight all! _Get to bed." _She stared pointedly at her daughters, who were having a pillowfight.

"KAY!" They cried, not really paying her much mind as they giggled and slapped each other playfully.

I smiled and walked out of their room, going down the hall to the bathroom, passing Draco and Falin as they talked, heading for Falin's room. Distantly, I heard Annenia talking to the boys about me staying with them.

"WHAT? You're sticking us with birdbrain?!" Draco cried.

"Be nice." Annenia scolded gently, and I distinctly remember thinking about how those words were not in his vocabulary.

I sighed, putting my toothbrush back and heading for Falin's room. It was going to be a long week.

**AN: So, what do you think about Hermione getting invited to stay with the Snape's? Credit for the idea goes to my awesome buddy, Pinkwood. No seriously, look her up. She's awesome. **


	66. Summer break Chapter 2

**Chapter two:**

**Selfish**

**POV: Draco Malfoy**

"No, no, no, absolutely not, no, NO and _NO." _I put my foot down, glaring at Falin as soon as we were in his room with the door closed. Right away, there was a tap on the door. Falin glared at me and turned to open it, but I put a hand on the door and pushed it shut, ignoring the muffled cry of alarm from outside the door.

_"Draco, _let go of the door!" Falin muttered, trying to pull on the handle again, but I was a lot stronger than him, and my one hand versus both of his was enough to keep the door closed.

"Falin, I'm not sleeping in the same room with _her." _

"Draco, hush, that's rude, she can probably hear you, you know." Falin scolded, still trying to pry the door open.

"I don't care." I leaned down to hiss in his ear.

"Draco!" He shoved me away. "Stop being so selfish! For once in your life, think about others before yourself!" He spluttered, staring at me with tears in his eyes.

"How am I being selfish?" I cried. "I've put aside most of my life to help you, to be with you every chance I get! How is that selfish?"

"You only stick with me because I'm the only person willing to put up with your racist, suffocating, selfish, bullying, pig-headed, bigoted personality! Not because you care!"

I stared at him in shock. "Of course I care, I care more for you than I've ever cared for anyone else! How can you stand there and say I don't care?"

"And how can _you _stand there and say you care, while you are keeping me from the only other person my age that cares?" He challenged, his eyes red from the tears, his hands shaking as he still half-heartedly tried to open the door.

I stared at him for a moment. "It's her or me, Falin."

He stared up at me, his jaw dropping slightly, his eyes wide and pleading. "Draco… how can you… why would you do that to me!?" He cried, his voice coming out a tiny shriek. "You're making me chose between the best friend I've ever had, and the person who saved me from doing something very stupid!"

I stared at him, all anger fading. "You…."

He nodded. "I was going to. I was thinking about it…. And then she came in and talked to me." His voice had gone soft, and I had to lean forward to hear it.

"Falin… I'm sorry. I didn't… I shouldn't have made you chose… I'm sorry. I didn't know she meant so much to you…" I whispered, pulling him closer and hugging him. He sobbed quietly into my shirt, his arms wrapped around my middle. "Please Falin… I'm sorry." I whispered again, desperately stroking the back of his head. He was right. I _was _being selfish.

There was another timid knock and the door opened slowly. Annenia stood there, looking worried and a concerned, Granger was peeking out from behind her.

"Falin? Are you okay sweetie? Draco? What happened?" Annenia came forward, kneeling down in front of Falin, who pulled away from me to throw his arms around her neck, still crying.

"We just... had a little misunderstanding… and Falin got a bit upset." I murmured quietly, staring at my best friend, not caring about the red stain on my white shirt from where he had cried.

"Draco, didn't I warn you that he's very emotional right now, and to not get him riled up?" Annenia hissed, hugging the crying boy closer.

"Yes ma'am, I'm sorry." I murmured, humbled.

"Oh Falin, shh, it's okay sweetie. Do you want me to stay with you?" Annenia murmured to her step son.

He shook his head slowly, then peeked over her shoulder and saw Granger. He reached out feebly for her and she slowly came forward, taking his tiny hand. Anne slowly stood and Falin clung to Grander, cheeks red from the tears.

"Well, best get to bed, dears." Annenia murmured, stroking a lock of Falin's black hair back from his eyes, smiling sadly down at the tiny boy.

"Yes ma'am." Granger murmured. Annenia cast her son one last glance before leaving the room.

**POV: Hermione Granger**

When I had felt the door close in my face after I had started opening it, I had become worried, and then heard muffled shouting behind the door, and went to get Annenia. I hadn't known what was going on, and I was sort of glad she was able to calm Falin down a bit.

"You okay?" I murmured, kneeling down so that we were closer in height. He was a little taller than I was when I kneeled, but it was less intimidating to him that way.

He nodded, wiping his eyes, then wincing.

"Oh, no, don't do that, you'll make it worse." I told him, pulling his hands away from his eyes. I pulled out my wand a murmured a few healing spells. "There you go." I smiled at him and he managed a weak smile in return.

"I think we best be getting to bed." I told Draco, pointedly staring up at him.

He nodded. "Yeah, you stay with him, I have a feeling he doesn't want to be near me at the moment." He replied, plopping down on the mattress on the floor, the one that was intended for me. I opened my mouth to protest, but then felt Falin as he still clung to me, trembling. He was just like a scared little child. It wouldn't be like actually sleeping with a boy my age, it would almost be like cuddling with a ten year old.

"Okay, Falin, are you sleeping in this?" I asked him, fingering the thin white shirt he was wearing. He nodded, looking ready to fall asleep on his feet. The little crying fit had probably worn him out, physically and emotionally. "Okay, come on, time for bed." I told him, helping him into the little bed, pulling the covers back then crawling in after him, turning off the lamp before snuggling all the way under.

I felt Falin snuggle up next to me and smiled slightly, wrapping my arms around the tiny boy. It was only a matter of minutes before his breathing evened out and he was fast asleep. I sighed and pulled him closer, feeling oddly protective of the tiny boy. "Goodnight, Draco." I murmured into the dark.

There was a long period of silence. "Goodnight, Granger." Though it lacked any kind of sincere hope that I indeed have a good night, it was better than insulting silence, and so, I fell asleep.

**AN: If you're wondering about the part where Falin was saying Hermione saved him from doing something stupid, I mean by that that he was going to cut, he was so upset about the whole thing with Stecks, and Miriad. And Hermione showing up and talking to him kept him from doing that so... yeah. :) Please review? I love your speculations!**


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